WWE | Pro Wrestling

Dear Vince (McMahon)

Vince McMahonDear Vince,

Let me introduce myself. My name is Giri and I am a Dixie Carter guy! Yup, I dig crazy Dix! But that’s beside the point.

The point is Punk can’t move ratings and won’t! But honestly that’s not his fault. Your entire programming has become so gimmicky that it’s turned into a goon show! Dancing monsters, delusional superstars, meaningless championships; I mean tell me one title that’s relevant on WWE right now.

As you mentioned in your ‘State of WWE’ address, what we need is action. But action Vince – no one knows it better than you do – isn’t just in-ring action. We get that week after week. Thank you.

Let me tell you something about the wrestling business, Vince. Since I am not the one who is making or losing money, I can impart a few tips on running a wrestling company. Ask Dixie!

You see, Vince, wrestling is a boisterous form of entertainment. The art must be found within that madness! And you know it better than anyone else. When you kicked off things, you had Hogan who was all energy and electricity; ripping the T, milking the crowd, over selling moves etc etc. Though I hated all those stuff then, now I realize that you had very good business acumen!

But every storm must be followed by calm. So you had Bret Hart headlining your PPVs. And then it was time for another storm. Michaels was too small to kick up one. Just like Punk. So you went back to the drawing board and sketched out another swashbuckler; Steve Austin. Not done with that you kept on standby another loudmouth; the Rock.

Then it was time for another period of calm. In comes John Cena with his quiet aggression. More than half a decade at the top and it was time for another Storm. But this time it just doesn’t seem to gather or is it that you don’t feel threatened enough to go out of your way?

Somewhere I felt Punk could have been that guy. But, forget that you booked him like an idiot, (no, you can’t fire me!) you forgot something else too. At the heart of wrestling lies the tao of beating up another guy. You can talk as much as you want on the mic and be damn good at that, but unless you put your boots where the other guy’s mouth is, it isn’t gonna stick! This was perhaps why nobody bought it when Punk threatened to beat up Cena or even Jim Ross. Jim Ross for Heavens sake!

Austin, Rock et al worked cause they never waited for the referee to ring the bell to settle the score and to prove to the world that they were the best. Just like Hogan, they never wasted time on holds and technique. Anytime was brawl time.

I can think of only two instances when Punk did that – once when he put Del Rio through the table and once when he GTS’d John Laurinaitis. What a rush those moments gave us. And he did a terrific job at that. But that was more than a year ago. Since then he’s been just talking on the mic like a cocky @$$ and that’s it!

As you said Vince, what WWE needs is action. But for that you need champions with brass ones, bad guys and monster heels. Not little Jimmys, Funkadactyls and bickering grownups. So without further ado let’s have some real action; in the ring, outside the ring, in the parking lot, in the backstage, in the lobby, in the trailer, on the Titantron, in your house… let’s brawl!

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Giri K

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