Sunday, May 22, 2022

Dear CM Punk

Dear Mr. Punk:

[adinserter block=”1″]I know this is a little bit of short notice, but if you were not aware of it there is this thing called a pay-per-view in your backyard on Sunday and well, the WWE Universe could use your help right about now. If you also did not know this about this wrestling company, it’s bleeding green and well there aren’t a lot of competitors that can save it from falling any further than it has already sunk this month. So, if you are willing to listen, maybe you could hear me out on a few things. Like I said, “Payback” is this Sunday on pay-per-view and on the WWE Network.

And this, is where you come in.

I know you have had your time off and I know the new love thing with AJ Lee (good score, by the way) has become top priority, but you left many fans dangling when you departed the company after the Royal Rumble. Some would say you turned your backs on is. But this is how you redeem yourself, because in the end you, like Obi Wan Kenobi, are our only hope. So, without further suspense, here is what I am thinking.


I know, it is a lot to ask of you and I know you and I have never met, but this is what I am thinking.

We all know about your hatred for the Authority, the walrus Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar and of course that means you despise Cesaro as well. Why not take a bit of your frustrations out on any of those individuals?

Or, and this is where you come in again, you make an appearance jumping at Bray Wyatt or challenging someone like Wade Barrett of any of the number of WWE superstars trying to get over – the way you have put them over time and time again?

Even you and Sheamus with the United States Title on the line makes so much sense and if all else fails, John Cena will need an opponent after this, err, money maker.

If you missed it, there have been some major fails in the company since you left – most notably your good friend, Batista. Kane hasn’t been in a serious match in a while, John Cena is fighting Bray Wyatt as his life depends on it and we are all waiting for a Brock Lesnar face turn to save us from the boredom of mid card exceptions trying to cut it as main event stars. You buddy Daniel Bryan is on the mend and we need him back as soon as possible and Ryback and Curtis Axel – two of Paul Heyman’s goons are making it as a tag team combination with relative ease.

All that is missing is YOU!

We all know you are a seven-time World Champion, having held the ROH World Championship and ECW Championship once each, WWE’s World Heavyweight Championship three times, and the WWE Championship twice. You won the World Tag Team Championship (with Kofi Kingston) and the WWE Intercontinental Championship, making you the 19th WWE Triple Crown Champion and the fastest man in WWE history to achieve this feat, in 203 days.

Between WWE and Ring of Honor, you have won a total of 11 championships. You won the 2008 and 2009 Money in the Bank ladder matches (the only wrestler to win the match twice), and the 2011 Superstar of the Year Slammy Award. Mighty impressive.

I don’t need to sit here and pump up your ego and tell you how great you are – just giving you the facts. And your recent announcement about your retirement has been confirmed through media outlets by none other than yourself, but think about.

If this all should appeal to you, I know a few million people that would welcome your comeback. And if you need some time to think about it, please do so, but remember the clock is ticking and time is slipping, slipping, slipping, into the future.

[adinserter block=”2″]We don’t have a lot of time, Mr. Punk. We would like a decision and we would like it now.

What do you say? Are you willing to save us? You are our only hope.

Follow David on Twitter @davidlevin71

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  1. You are writing a letter to CM Punk, he is not a real person. Phil Brooks is however and if you didn’t know (which I’m assuming you don’t) Phil is getting married to AJ in June and by the way Phil is actually good friends with Paul Heyman and as far as I know, he supports Cesaro (he has his shirt so…) PLEASE get your facts straight. By the way he has retired so just leave him alone, he’s happy.


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