WWE | Pro Wrestling

A Public Service Announcement: Don’t Touch The Wrestlers

cm punkHello, my name is Thomas Holzerman. You may remember me from such blogs as this one and The Wrestling Blog, and I’m here to talk to you about an important topic, your role as a wrestling fan, and what you shouldn’t do as a fan, namely, putting your hands on the wrestlers.

You may sit in the front row, close enough to the wrestler to reach out and grab him or her. You may be in the nosebleeds and see a wrestler make his or her way into the crowd. Either way, you’re never going to get a better chance to touch them. Why not? As the modern day poet Drake says, YOLO. Well, Drake is stupid and you’d be wrong if you did touch them.

Wrestlers are trained professionals who pretend to fight for your amusement. They are part of a show that you are only there to watch. Yes, you play an important part in the show through your viewing. Your cheers and boos help decide which wrestlers get to win matches or what feuds they participate in. However, just because you are the Greek Chorus doesn’t mean you get to rush on stage and become part of the action.

Remember, the word here is “trained.” Wrestlers like CM Punk have undergone years of training and paying dues to get where they’re at today. They know what they’re doing inside the ring. They follow a script, and that script is not inclusive of unruly fans punching them in the kidneys or threatening to push them down stairs. To interject yourself into the action, you are unfairly intruding on their working environment and ruining the show for everyone else.

Punk and his brethren are also human beings themselves and deserve a modicum of space and privacy. Obviously, that privacy is tenuous to enforce when they’re performing, but the fourth wall is what keeps their real lives private from you. It’s not a literal privacy, a literal bubble of space, but a figurative one that still is important and needed.

What happens when you violate that sphere of privacy? For one, you are committing assault. Remember, they’re trained. They know how to pull punches. You do not, and your interjection is an unwanted physical addition to the show. You are and should be considered for criminal action. You also ruin it for the people around you who want to see and hear what the wrestlers will do and say. Finally, like what happened this Monday on RAW, you may get a completely innocent person hurt through your negligent actions.

The extent of your physical contact with wrestling should begin and end with the slapping of hands. When you reach out to a wrestler, you’re asking them whether they want to be touched, and if they reciprocate, that’s them saying “Okay, you can touch me in this instance.” Otherwise, keep your hands off the wrestlers. You are not the main attraction. You are the person who reacts. That is the extent of your participation. Anything more, and you ruin the show.

No one wants you to ruin the show.

This has been a public service announcement, courtesy of the Camel Clutch Blog. Your cooperation will be appreciated.

Tom Holzerman is a lifelong wrestling fan and connoisseur of all things Chikara Pro, among other feds. When he’s not writing for the Camel Clutch Blog, you can find him on his own blog, The Wrestling Blog.

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Tom Holzerman is a lifelong wrestling fan and connoisseur of all things Chikara Pro, among other feds. When he’s not writing for the Camel Clutch Blog, you can find him on his own blog, The Wrestling Blog.

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