WWE | Pro Wrestling

6 Demands For Vince McMahon

In my previous column, I offered an opinionated article humbly suggesting 6 Things Vince McMahon & Co. should be doing to improve the WWE & their connection with fans. For the most part, readers were in agreement with my sentiments.

For those who weren’t…well, opinions are like your poop fetish: some things should be kept to yourself.

This list is…different. These are demands. They aren’t up for debate. The very fact that these demands exist is a problem that should have been remedied long ago. On more than on occasion, I have heard Vince McMahon say that he will do ANYTHING that is good for the business.

Now, it’s time to make good on that promise Vince, starting with…

DEMAND #1: Induct Angelo, Lanny & Randy (Savage) Poffo into the WWE Hall of Fame.

Yes, all 3 of them, because:

A) The ICW was a hotbed of wrestling action at one point in history & a territory where many future stars got their start.

B) Many sources have reported that Randy wouldn’t accept the honor if it was extended only to him (nor would his brother, on his behalf).

So, what’s the delay?

It depends on who you ask.

The most common & unverifiable answer is that back when Stephanie McMahon was 14 or 15, she learned the true meaning of “Oh, Yeeeaaahhh!” directly from The Macho Man and Vince has despised him ever since, BUT knowing Randy was a big draw, couldn’t do much about the situation (which is laughable).

Another rumor is that Vince was emotionally hurt when Savage (along with many other wrestlers in the months to follow) jumped ship to WCW. Anyone who knows their wrestling history knows this isn’t true because:

A) Savage was being used less-and-less on the whole and was unhappy, which Vince knew.

B) Vince gave Macho Man an on-air goodbye on Raw.

Name another wrestler to whom he’s extended that courtesy?

The most recent answer was from “Rowdy” Roddy Piper who said that – years ago – Savage slapped Vince & the bruise to his ego & cheek is what keeps Savage from being in the HOF.

My guess? The SLAP.

So what, Vince? In the long run, you won.

(On a similar note: Induct Bruno Sammartino, the Ultimate Warrior & anyone else warranted. Who cares if they don’t show up to accept? They should know that even if they don’t care, the fans do & this gives you, Vince, the chance to be the bigger person.

DEMAND #2: Build an actual, tangible Hall of Fame.

A facility where fans can visit & pay homage to stars of yesteryear.

You can charge admission, sell postcards, DVD’s, merchandise, etc. It would take very little effort to make this happen.

Yes, I realize WWE is more than a wrestling company, but you should HONOR its roots and the men & women who gave their careers & lives to something bigger than themselves.

So, what’s the delay?

Truly…only Vinny knows.

We can speculate all we want.

But fans do see it as a slap in the face of every wrestler who’s ever laced up a pair of boots & a real shame for us, because we’d frequent the place. Many wrestlers & most-other HOF’s don’t respect the WWE’s Hall of Fame because it’s an idea instead of a hallowed hall of brick & mortar.

Me? I don’t even care if it has a “Celebrity” wing, just build it.

DEMAND #3: Bring Hulk Hogan home.

Whenever his contract expires with TNA or Impact or whatever it calls itself this week, pay the man & bring him back on-board.

Not for his promos, nor for his wrestling, but simply because he is Hulk Hogan. He deserves for the twilight of his career to be in WWE, where he has made the most impact and the WWE deserves to have the Babe Ruth of wrestling as its Ambassador.

Listen, people will always debate Hogan or Austin, the Red & Yellow vs NWO or Hogan/Flair, that’s not what I’m talking about. What I mean is your average person associates wrestling with Hulk Hogan, period.

People who have never seen a match know who Hulk Hogan is. Ask any average guy on the street to name 3 wrestlers & his answers will invariably be: “Hulk Hogan”, “The Rock”…and maybe “That guy with the sock?” (Love ya’ Mick).

It is impossible to overstate the importance of Terry Bollea, Hulk Hogan & Hulkamania in wrestling history. But remember, Vince, you designed it that way.

So, what’s the delay?

If you know your Vince/Hogan history, the answer is always the same: Money.

Given the correct venue (i.e. a WWE event) Hogan still gets a huge “pop” and wants dollars representing that fact. Vince doesn’t want to pay that because Hogan is older, does less in the ring & because of all the other issues they’ve had.

The Solution?

A compromise, tilted in Hogan’s direction.

Why in Hogan’s favor? Because you’re the “billionaire”, Vince.

Yes, you created the WWE; you had the vision, determination & work ethic. And, like it or not, Hogan sold it to the masses for you.

Pay him 2 or 3 million a year to fly to troops stationed overseas, give interviews to the press & to be at WWE-sanctioned events where I – as a fan – can go to Wrestlemania Axxess & see the biggest “Superstar” of all, instead of having to schlep to whatever half-attended barn TNA is frequenting.

DEMAND #4: Stop using wrestlers in WWE Studio-produced movies.

The WWE PR-Machine continues to espouse that the WWE isn’t a wrestling organization, it’s a media development company with diverse branches across all categories of entertainment.

Prove it.

Stop putting John Cena, Kane & (even) Steve Austin in your movies; hire some writers not already on your payroll; and give your production company a new name. Make wrestling the last thing I think of when I see an advertisement for one of your flicks.

So, what’s the delay?

Old habits die hard & wrestling is where the money’s at.

The WWE was built on wrestling, so it never strays far from it.

The World Body-Building Federation depended on wrestling to promote it, The Rock was the first face of the XFL & Cena is the Marine.

All non-wrestling related projects run by the WWE fail (as well as many ventures that ARE wrestling-related).

DEMAND #5: Drag (or lure) your son, Shane, back into the family business.

This is for longevity’s sake. You’re old, Vince. And while you are in great steroid-induced shape, have balls the size of grapefruits & the will of a thousand men, no one escapes the closing of the last curtain.

Yes, Stephanie knows the business; but that’s different than being a successful businesswoman. Yes, she’s married to Triple H, a great (if injury-prone) wrestler who has a sharp mind for the business & an incredible insight into the psychology of wrestling. But (family or not, and I mean this respectfully) he’s the hired help. He’s the performer, you & Stephanie are the management. Her judgment will always be clouded.

Of course the WWE will continue on without you as it existed before you. And there’s the problem: in 30 years, it could be back in smoky bars & old armories instead of stadiums & coliseums. Poor decisions can crush any once-indestructible corporation.

When Shane first left the WWE, I thought it was a stroke of genius & he was either going to negotiate the sale of PRIDE or infiltrate & destroy it. But that didn’t happen.

So, what’s the delay?

Shane’s success.

Shane has created gigantic successes in all his endeavors thus far. But hopefully, when he feels he’s accomplished enough – out of his father’s shadow – he’ll come back to helm the WWE.

And, on a sexist note: he carries the McMahon name, as will his 2 sons. (Stephanie has 3 girls.)

DEMAND #6: Buy TNA.

End the farce. We all know how this ends. Ted Turner couldn’t beat you and he owned his own networks.

It doesn’t matter how mediocre the wrestling is, how gimmicky the matches are or what the name of the company is because – at the end of the day – Dixie Carter knows less about wrestling than my Tivo (and it’s not even plugged in).

When Dixie’s spirit is finally crushed & her coffers are empty, there won’t be anything left but what was filmed & for you to add that to your vast video library, Vince.

Buy it now, while some of the talent there is still young.

So, what’s the delay?

Irrelevance.

TNA isn’t competition; it’s not even a player. It’s the water boy. It’s existence doesn’t matter in the least until it becomes a footnote in the annals of wrestling history.

Vince can simply wait for it to (inevitably) fail.

[Author’s Note: Many of you might wonder why I didn’t demand a Wrestler’s Union. That’s because it’s the will of the wrestlers that determines a union, not Vince.]

If people want to contact Shane or read more of his adventures, they can email [email protected]

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