The Big Red Monster. The Big Red Machine. The Devil’s Favorite Demon. The….Director of Operations. You all know him as the baby brother of the Undertaker. One of the longest standing performers in WWE. The guy that somehow makes fire shoot from ring posts by lowering his arms and one of the most groan inducing wrestlers from “serious” wrestling fans.
But what you may not have realized, is that through it all, through the multiple masks, unmasking, corporate suit, and hideous ill-designed tag team partners, Kane has somehow become one of the biggest heels in the history of professional wrestling…both outside the ring than in.
Quite frankly, #KaneRuinsEverything. And I’m not just talking about the thousands of kids he sent to therapy during his 1997-2002 monster run. Don’t believe me? Here are the top 3 reasons why Kane ruins everything and may be the greatest heel of all time.
3) Kane put Daniel Bryan on the shelf
Kane is the reason Daniel Bryan is out of action in the WWE. We all know Daniel Bryan’s dangerous move set: his dives outside the ring, the flat back drop kick, his Chris Benoit-like flying head butt, etc. These moves can cause serious damage to the performer…but what took Daniel Bryan out? An angle with Kane.
Kane’s attacks, including multiple Tombstones (a banned move for every other wrestler except Kane & the Undertaker) were what did it in for Daniel Bryan. Causing him to have multiple surgeries that he will be recovering from for months. Honestly, he may end up being forcibly retired as he has a very similar condition to what caused Edge’s retirement a few years back.
That would be tragic. And we would have Kane to blame. But here’s the rub: If it weren’t for Kane, we wouldn’t have a Daniel Bryan to care about. Hear me out.
It is because of Daniel Bryan’s time working with Kane as Team Hell No that we care about Daniel Bryan nearly as much as we do. Think about it. Look back at their time together. Before Bryan & Kane teamed up, Bryan was certainly popular. But until Daniel Bryan took the comic heel approach with his “No! No! No!” chants to the crowd, we didn’t care as much. Once he started engaging more with the audience, doing his bits with Kane and STILL putting on incredible matches, we fell in love with the guy.
When he finally broke his “Yes!” silence at WrestleMania 29 and led the crowd in “Yes!” chants; that was the turning point for Daniel Bryan. We now wanted him to succeed. And it was because of his time with Kane.
Kane gave us a love for Daniel Bryan. And then he took away the object of our cheers by knocking him out of action. That’s freaking twisted.
2) Kane wrote Dean Ambrose off TV
Ambrose is arguably one of the hottest talent on the roster at WWE. Or rather, he is when he’s not off making movies. Like most up and coming stars, WWE likes to take the focus off them for a while when they get real hot to see if they’ll “still have it” with the crowd when they return. WWE’s tool for taking the focus off of Dean? Send Kane.
Fans have REALLY noticed the lack of Dean Ambrose on television lately, and though Seth Rollins put the foot on the back of Ambrose’s head, we have 1 man to thank for the pile of cinderblocks: Kane. Without Kane’s cinderblocks of doom we’d still have Ambrose jumping out of car trunks and driving cement trucks…or whatever he does. Thanks a lot Kane, jerk.
1) Kane retired CM Punk
It’s well documented how frustrated and upset CM Punk has been about the direction his character was taking. And though he is now retired, I’m pretty sure most fans would welcome him back immediately if he were to ever return. But he won’t anytime soon. So what does Kane have to do with it?
However, CM Punk was never seen on WWE TV again. He walked off the show the next night on Raw before it aired.
Rumor mill is that CM Punk was headed towards a match with HHH at WrestleMania that year, and of course he would have to go through Corporate Kane first.
CM Punk would rather quit a business he had given most of his life to than have a program with Kane.
Daniel Bryan, Dean Ambrose, CM Punk. They are not on WWE television due to 1 person: Kane. The greatest heel of all time. #KaneRuinsEverything
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