Welcome to this week’s SmackDown! Hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving, and I also hope you weren’t foolish enough to go out shopping on Black Friday, or at least waited until the crowds had died down.
This week’s recap will be a little bit condensed, as it’s late here, I’ve got a long day tomorrow and still have some other writing for my other internet employers I need to attempt to do before hitting the hay.
After Survivor Series, CM Punk is still WWE Champion, hitting the elusive 1-year mark. Also, during his title match, we saw the debuts of Seth Rollins, Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns, which is just f*cking awesome. Pardon my language, but I have been waiting so long for these three guys to finally get called up to the main roster. And the fact that their first job on the main roster is a spot in the main current feud on the A-show almost makes me want to shed tears of joy.
This week’s WWE Friday Night SmackDown opens with another installment of MizTV. Miz welcomes us to the show. Tonight, he’s got a lot of questions for his guest, so without further adieu, please welcome…John Cena.
Cena makes his way out for a rare SD! appearance. Cena’s knee is wrapped up as a result of the attack by Dolph Ziggler Monday night. Cena calls Miz’s new show awesome. Miz says Cena is normally known for things in the ring, but as of late, his life is a TMZ story. This past Monday night, Cena had enough and did something shocking, but it didn’t come without consequences. Miz then shows the footage of Cena and AJ making out, which just looks awkward. Back to SD!, Miz asks Cena how the kiss was. Cena doesn’t like that question, so Miz asks about the knee. He then shows the attack I mentioned earlier. In case you were wondering, this is a legitimate knee injury. Back to MizTV, Cena states he had an MRI done, and although he’s injured, he’s still cleared for competition. He asks Miz for tougher questions. Miz doesn’t believe Cena is telling the whole truth, but that’s okay, because he heard Cena IS telling the whole truth about Cena and AJ’s past, but how about now? Are they just friends at this point? Cena just got tired of there being a giant issue made about nothing. Vickie Guerrero just wanted to give people something to talk about, and Cena decided to just end it. He admits he liked kissing AJ, and that she’s good at it. Miz calls this fantastic, and is now wondering if the stress of this scandal has brought them together. Are they more than just friends?
Later tonight, Damien Sandow gets his first shot at Kofi Kingston’s IC title. Up next, Ryback is in action.
MATCH 1: Ryback vs. Darren Young (w/Titus O’Neil)
Haven’t had Ryback on the show in a while. Fortunately, this makes my job a bit easier, as his matches are a breeze to recap. Young hits a few quick punches. Ryback blocks one and hits a hip toss. Young with more punches until Ryback boots him down. He whips Young face-first into the mat, sending him to the floor. Ryback follows and nails a back elbow. Back in, Ryback hits a pair of clotheslines. He nails the Meat Hook, and Shell Shocked ends the match.
WINNER: Ryback. After the match, Titus gets on a mic and enters the ring, yelling at Ryback and blowing his whistle. Ryback gives him Shell Shocked for his troubles.
Later tonight, Randy Orton will face Dolph Ziggler. Up next, R-Truth/Cesaro.
MATCH 2: R-Truth vs. WWE United States Champion Antonio Cesaro (non-title)
Before the match, Cesaro says that, judging by all the fat people in the crowd, clearly, everyone enjoyed their Thanksgiving, another ridiculous US holiday that embraces gorging ourselves, and laziness. Fortunately, we have Antonio Cesaro as our US Champion. Cesaro immediately hits a knee lift and a lifted gutwrench suplex. Bodyslam and jumping double stomp by Cesaro before he applies a waistlock. Truth fights out and hits a flying forearm. He goes for the Osaka Street Cutter, but Cesaro slides out and looks for the Neutralizer. Truth counters into a back body drop. Truth hits Lil’ Jimmy and gets the 3 in somewhat of an upset.
WINNER: R-Truth. At least Truth has a legitimate claim to a title match this time. Still, this match was far too short to really do much for either guy.
We see that Sheamus has entered the building. Booker T stops him and tells him he’s not going to the locker room. After Survivor Series, Sheamus is out of control. Sheamus complains about pity for The Big Show. Book says Sheamus can’t compete tonight. But, at the Series, Show got DQ’ed on purpose, and Sheamus deserves a rematch. He makes a Chairs Match for TLC for the title before telling Sheamus he has the night off and can relax in Book’s VIP room. He also announces Show is in a Handicap Match against Team Hell No! tonight.
Up next, Sin Cara takes on Alberto Del Rio.
MATCH 3: Sin Cara vs. Alberto Del Rio (w/Ricardo Rodriguez)
I like Cara’s half-blue, half-white mask he’s got this week. ADR immediately goes on the attack once the bell rings. Cara manages to send ADR to the floor and hits a suicide dive. Back in, Cara gets 1. He misses a kick, and ADR hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for 1. Cara comes back with a springboard armdrag, but the offense is short lived when ADR sends him shoulder-first into the post. Commercials.
We’re back, and ADR has a rear chinlock applied. Cara fights out and gets a roll-through schoolboy for 2. ADR goes right back on the attack with some punches, and a running kick to the back for 2. ADR goes back to the chinlock, but adds a knee to the back. Cara fights out and hits a snapping hurricanrana for 2. ADR kicks out and levels Cara with a running boot. Suplex gets 2. He misses a charge in the corner, but still hits a modified spinebuster for 2. ADR goes right back to the chinlock, ripping at the mask in the process. Cara hits a mule kick out of the corner and a swinging armdrag. Springboard cross-body by Cara gets 2. Handspring back elbow connects, and Cara goes up top. ADR takes him down with a top rope armdrag and quickly applies the rolling jujigatame for the tap-out victory.
WINNER: Alberto Del Rio.
Team Hell No! are in the locker room. Daniel Bryan tells Kane to stay out of his way tonight. Long before they teamed together, Bryan beat The Big Show in 45 seconds. Kane asks if that will happen again, and Bryan says, “Yes!” Kane says, “No!” before recalling his history as champions with Big Show, calling Show a baby back then. Bryan can team with Show after tonight and call themselves Team No Show. Bryan asks if this is because Kane wasn’t invited to Bryan’s Thanksgiving. Kane says maybe. Bryan says he wouldn’t have liked it since there was vegan turkey. If they win tonight, though, Kane can come over for Christmas. Kane agrees, but only if he can beat up Santa Claus. Bryan agrees to that.
MATCH 4-2-on-1 Handicap Match: World Champion The Big Show vs. WWE Tag Team Champions Team Hell No! (Daniel Bryan and Kane)
Bryan starts off, kicking Show in the legs. Show no-sells and beats Bryan down with a forearm and headbutts. Open-hand chops in the corner as we see Sheamus and William Regal looking on from the VIP room. Bryan hits some more kicks, but runs into a side kick by Show. Show starts attacking Bryan’s left arm with a headbutt. He seemingly goes for a chokeslam, but just kind of tosses Bryan instead before continuing the attack on the left arm. Bryan manages to fire off some more kicks to the leg before Show knocks him down with another headbutt. He drapes Bryan’s arm over the top rope and drops an elbow before whipping Bryan down to the mat with an arm wringer. Show hits a bodyslam and goes to the middle rope, missing an elbow drop. Bryan starts to go towards tagging Kane, but instead goes back to kicking Show, who is on his knees. He hits about a dozen kicks before nailing the Buzzsaw, which gets 2.
Bryan runs right into a chokeslam, but reverses it into a guillotine choke. Show throws him off, and Bryan jumps on him from the buckles. Show catches him and goes for a bodyslam, which Bryan reverses into a sleeper. Show breaks the hold by simply falling backward. Bryan makes the tag, and Kane hits a couple running clotheslines and a dropkick to the knee. Another dropkick to the head gets 2. Botched flying clothesline connects, and Kane signals for the chokeslam. Show hits a couple body shots and sends Kane into the ropes, where he gets hit with a DDT. Bryan tags himself in and applies the No! Lock. Kane is pissed, and takes a walk. Show throws Bryan off and quickly hits a chokeslam for the win.
WINNER: The Big Show. Kane comes back to the ring to berate Bryan. Show sees him and goes for the WMD, but Kane ducks and goozles him. Show goozles Kane at the same time, which allows Bryan to kick him in the leg from behind. Kane then boots Show to the floor. We see Sheamus enjoying all of this. Show sees it, too, gets a mic and congratulates Sheamus on getting another title match. He asks Sheamus if he ever thought a giant would have a chair in his hands this time, fella.
The IC title match is up next. Wade Barrett is going to be on commentary, which makes my night more enjoyable.
MATCH 5-Intercontinental Championship: Kofi Kingston (Champion) vs. Damien Sandow
Sandow with a knee strike and a headbutt. Kofi counters a back suplex, hits some kicks and clotheslines Sandow to the floor. He throws Sandow back in the ring, who grabs Kofi and rams him into the ringpost. Commercials.
Back from the break, Sandow has a rear chinlock applied. Kofi fights out, but runs into a kitchen sink. Sandow with more knee strikes and a side-Russian legsweep. The Elbow of Disdain connects for 2. They trade punches for a moment before Sandow rakes the eyes. Back to the rear chinlock, but Kofi fights out before Sandow knocks him to the apron with a wild swing. Sandow pulls Kofi to the outside part of the apron, where he drops an elbow. Kofi manages to knock him away on another attempt, but Sandow stays on offense by dragging Kofi to the floor and ramming him back-first into the apron. Back in the ring, Sandow stomps Kofi down. Kofi rolls to the outside, where he slams Sandow’s head into the turnbuckle. High cross-body gets 2. Kofi hits the SOS for another 2. Kofi hits a double chop and a running dropkick. Boom Drop connects, and Kofi signals for Trouble in Paradise. Sandow gets blasted with the move, and this one’s over.
WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: Kofi Kingston. Barrett congratulates Kofi after the match, but says his best won’t be good enough against Barrett, and his next defense will be his last as he becomes the next victim of the Great Barrett Barrage.
MATCH 6: Dolph Ziggler vs. Randy Orton
Orton hits a knee and some punches before beating Ziggler down in the corner. Ziggler goes for a single-leg, but Orton continues to club him down. Ziggler manages to send him to the corner for some kicks and punches, giving Orton a taste of his own medicine. Orton fights back, hitting a dropkick for 2. Ziggler slides to the apron, and Orton slingshot suplexes him back in for 2. Ziggler goes back on the attack with a swinging neckbreaker, but Orton doesn’t want to sell it and sends Ziggler to the floor. Ziggler tries to escape over the barricade, but Orton pulls him back in before clotheslining him over the barricade. Commercials.
WINNER: Dolph Ziggler. Ricardo Rodriguez and ADR try to attack Orton after the match, but Orton drops Ricardo with an RKO. ADR puts on the breaks as Cena attacks Ziggler from behind on the stage, locking in the STF as the show goes off the air.
End of show.
As always, feel free to follow me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/xdustineflx, and if you like Married…With Children, you can follow my Al Bundy parody account at http://www.twitter.com/bundyisms. Also follow my personal blog at http://nerdslikeme.blogspot.com (feedback is welcome). Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out my mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:
Thanks for reading, and I’ll see you next week.
WWE: CM Punk Best in the World DVD