WWE Friday Night SmackDown opens with a shot of a piñata hanging from the ceiling, which will be part of “Fiesta Del Rio” later on tonight. But for now, we’re going straight into matches.
MATCH 1-Dublin Street Fight: Sheamus vs. Damien Sandow
For this match, there are different kinds of bar implements set up around ringside. As Sandow comes out, he says South Carolina was the first state to secede in 1860, and after being here for a day, he suggests they do so again. This is like a third-world country. “Y’all” is not a word. After he defeats the ignoramus in the ring, they will rename this match the “Sandow Street Fight”. You’re welcome! Sandow starts the match with punches until Sheamus shoulders him. Sandow grabs a green kendo stick and nails Sheamus, sending him to the floor. Outside, Sheamus hits a clothesline and throws Sandow into the barricade. He slams Sandow into a bar, then hits some forearms to the chest. Sheamus goes for a suplex, but Sandow blocks it and lands a dropkick. He rams Sheamus shoulder-first into the ring post, then throws him into another bar. Sheamus blocks a slam and slams face-first into the overturned bar. Sheamus opens it up and pulls a keg out, which he throws at Sandow. He pulls out a burlap sack, which is apparently full of potatoes. He hits Sandow with the sack, then dumps the potatoes out before eating one. Sheamus climbs the steps, and Sandow trips him before hitting some punches to the head. Sandow grabs a green bar stool and nails Sheamus with it. Commercials.
We see Kane pacing in the back when we hear whistling. The whistling is coming from Daniel Bryan. Kane doesn’t want to hear him brag about Monday night, but he will say congratulations on the victory. What an upset. Bryan doesn’t like his match being called an upset. Kane says he has a match with Randy Orton tonight, and Bryan is starting to get him riled up, so he needs to leave. Bryan says he doesn’t need Kane’s help to beat Orton, but he will be on commentary during their match tonight, just in Kane does need help. Bryan then hugs Kane and leaves.
Video package for the Usos. Glad to see them getting a bit of a push now.
We get yet another brainless episode of MizTV. Paul Heyman is in the ring, and he’s the guest for tonight. Miz calls him the most controversial figure in sports entertainment history. He says he’s known Heyman for years, and says Heyman wanted CM Punk and Brock Lesnar as a tag team. Against who? Heyman doesn’t want to go down that road, and Miz reminds Heyman he dug up all of Renee Young’s personal business last week. Heyman says he has plenty of respect for Miz, so he’s not going to bully him. However, he knows someone who can and will, that being the Intercontinental Champion Curtis Axel. Heyman introduces them to each other. Miz thought they would have a one-on-one interview, but was fooled, just like Heyman fooled half the people when he said he had nothing to do with Brock Lesnar’s attack on Punk. However, his problem is with Axel being on his set uninvited. Heyman says Axel is HIS guest on Miz’s show, and now Miz is too intimidated to ask question. Miz makes a Star Wars joke, calling Heyman Jabba the Hut. He calls Axel Luke Skywalker, then says Axel isn’t his father. What happens when Axel doesn’t fit the Heyman picture, especially when he loses the IC title to Miz? Heyman tells Axel he doesn’t have to answer that, but Axel wants to. Axel is very possessive of the IC title and takes Miz’s threats very, very personally. Miz then tells him to defend the title against him right now, right here. Heyman interjects and says his clients don’t fight for free, and the IC Champion doesn’t defend the title on an impromptu basis. Since Miz wants to get personal, Axel got to the top honestly. He didn’t get to WWE by being a reality TV star or coming up with stupid catchphrases. Miz starts to say his catchphrase, so Axel nails a kick to the stomach and follows up with a modified neckbreaker.
Video package for Sheamus.
MATCH 2: WWE Divas Champion AJ Lee (w/Big E. Langston) vs. Natalya (non-title)
Congratulations to Nattie and Tyson Kidd, who eloped a while back. Before the match starts, AJ’s music hits, and Kaitlyn comes out dressed as her. Kaitlyn looks good in this outfit. She then lists off all of the guys AJ has dated in WWE, then says it’s been brought to her attention that she even dated the timekeeper. There’s also some rumors circulating AJ has had some very thorough physical examinations from the ringside physician. That’s not even the juiciest part. She also heard AJ was involved with South Carolina’s very own Lilian Garcia. The bell rings, and Nattie takes her down with a hip throw. AJ counters into a headscissors. Nattie kips out and hits a snap suplex . She goes for a powerslam, but AJ escapes and whips her down. Kaitlyn skips down to ringside, mocking AJ in the process. AJ begins screaming at her, and Nattie manages to roll AJ up for 3.
WINNER: Natalya. AJ goes to argue with the referee, and when she turns around, Kaitlyn spears her.
We get a “From the Vault” segment featuring Bret Hart facing Berserker in October of 1991.
We see Teddy Long on the phone when Mr. McMahon enters his office. He says they’ve announced the WWE title MITB match on RAW, and now everyone wants to know what Long has in mind for the World title MITB match. Long says he could have done the same thing with his match, but he’s thinking about the future of the company, and he’s thinking outside of the box. This is something Booker T has never done. He wants to give an opportunity to a future player, so he’s got his choices lined up: Wade Barrett, Jack Swagger, Antonio Cesaro, Fandango, Dean Ambrose, Cody Rhodes and Damien Sandow. McMahon likes that idea, and says even he would have never thought of that. Then they practice saying Fandango’s name a few times before McMahon leaves.
Daniel Bryan makes his way out to do commentary for the next match.
MATCH 3: Kane vs. Randy Orton
Lock-up to start, and Kane goes to a waistlock, followed by a side headlock. Orton counters, so Kane throws him to the ropes and hits a shoulder. Orton comes back with punches, then hits a clothesline in the corner. He hits another, and Kane drops him with an uppercut. Kane hits another one, then hits a snapmare and a low dropkick for 2. Kane picks him up and sends him to the corner, where he hits a clothesline, he goes for it again, and Orton trips him into the turnbuckles. Kane comes back, sends Orton into the corner and hits an over-the-shoulder powerslam for 2. Kane goes up top and goes for a clothesline, but Orton nails a gut shot. He goes to the Garvin Stomp, then hits a jumping kneedrop for 2. Orton sends Kane into the ropes, and Kane comes back with a DDT. Commercials.
Back from the break, Kane kitchen sinks Orton for 2. He applies a double trapezius claw as Bryan climbs up on the announce desk and starts a “Yes!” chant. Orton fights out of the hold before getting hit with an uppercut. Orton counters an Irish whip with the 3.0. Bryan begins a “No!” chant on this note. Kane goes for the tombstone, but Orton escapes and hits a Thesz Press before running into a big boot for 2. Orton ducks a clothesline and hits his own before landing a dropkick for 2. Orton picks Kane back up and goes for a corner whip. Kane counters and runs into an elbow before catching Orton with a sidewalk slam for 2. Kane goes up top again, but gets cut off by Orton. Orton hits a European uppercut, then climbs up for a superplex. Kane fights him off, then lands the flying clothesline. He calls for the chokeslam, but Orton blocks it with a back elbow. He ducks a clothesline and snaps off a powerslam for 2. Kane rolls to the apron, where Orton goes for the suspended DDT. Kane breaks free and goes for a goozle, but Orton kicks out of it. He goes for the RKO, and Kane shoves him into the corner. Orton mounts the middle rope and hits some forearms to the chest before Kane sends him to the floor with an uppercut. Kane throws Orton back in the ring, and as he’s climbing through the ropes, Orton catches him with the suspended DDT. Kane rolls to the floor, and Bryan takes off his headset to cheer Kane on. Bryan shoves him back into the ring, and Kane walks right into an RKO for 3.
WINNER: Randy Orton. Bryan immediately heads back up the ramp, smiling. He looks to Kane from the ramp, mouthing an apology as Kane looks confused and angry.
Video package for Ryback.
MATCH 4: Justin Gabriel vs. Ryback
Gabriel ducks a clothesline and hits a kick, but Ryback shakes it off and shoves him to the ropes. Gabriel hits a few more kicks before running into a kick to the gut. Ryback hits a forearm to the back, then goes for a powerslam. Gabriel escapes and hits a few more kicks before dodging a boot near the ropes. Gabriel hits a few more kicks to the leg until Ryback throws him outside. Gabriel lands on the apron and goes for a sunset flip, but Ryback blocks it. Gabriel escapes and hits some kicks to the back before landing a seated dropkick. Ryback catches him in the corner off a charge and immediately hits Shell Shocked for 3.
WINNER: Ryback. Chris Jericho’s music hits, and he asks Ryback if his leg is okay. It’s funny, because ever since Vickie Guerrero put them in a match at MITB, all he’s heard is how much of a killer Ryback is. He’s also a whiner and a complainer. With the amount of sobbing Ryback is doing right now, they should change his name to “Cryback”. Jericho starts a “Cryback” chant then says he’ll give Ryback something to cry about. Ryback rolls into the apron, and Jericho attacks the bad leg before going for the Walls. Ryback escapes and heads up the ramp.
Another video for the Wyatt Family.
MATCH 5: The Shield (WWE United States Champion Dean Ambrose, and WWE Tag Team Champions Roman Reigns & Seth Rollins) vs. Christian and the Usos (Jey & Jimmy)
Jimmy starts the match with Reigns. They lock up, and then spill to the floor. Commercials.
WINNERS: Christian and the Usos.
It’s now time for Fiesta Del Rio. We see a mariachi band in the ring, and they play a tune before Ricardo Rodriguez enters the ring and does the introduction before accusing the crowd of having no energy and going into a stereotypical southern accent. Alberto Del Rio comes out and welcomes us to his party. Tonight, we celebrate his victory over Dolph Ziggler at Payback, and his regaining of the World Championship. We also celebrate that he is now a 4-time World Champion. No one really understood who ADR was in the beginning, so he asks the WWE Universe to turn on close-captioning, because he’s now going to do things his way, not our way. Tonight, he’s only going to speak Spanish. He then speaks in Spanish for a few minutes, then says enough pointing fingers. This is supposed to be a fun celebration. He asks for the piñata to be lowered, and Ricardo grabs a stick. ADR smashes it after a couple strikes, then says he wants everyone to understand why he just did that. He bashed open the piñata just like he bashed in Ziggler’s brains at Payback. He’ll do the same at MITB just to remain your World Champion. If he remembers well, Ziggler promised to ruin the party, but he’s not here. Where is he? If you have the cajones, come out here and face him.
Ziggler’s music hits. On the stage, he takes his watch and jacket off before walking down the ramp. He hits the ring and tackles ADR as Ricardo tries to pull him off. Ricardo gets thrown to the floor, and now ADR attacks Ziggler. Ziggler puts the breaks on going over the table, then boots ADR. Ricardo climbs the top rope, and Ziggler throws him through the table before hitting ADR with the Zig-Zag. He grabs a guitar that is sitting in the ring and goes to smash it over ADR’s head, but he bails through the crowd. Ricardo is still in the ring, so Ziggler bashes him with it.
End of show.
Dustin Nichols is a freelance writer, and you can keep track of all of his work on his Facebook page, which can be found at www.facebook.com/DustinNicholsWriter. Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out his mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:
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