This week on WWE Friday Night SmackDown Team Hell No! and Randy Orton take on The Shield yet again.
Daniel Bryan makes his way out to a ridiculously loud “Yes!” chant. If you would have asked him when he first debuted if he would have been World Champion, he would have responded with yes. If you had asked him if he’d lose that title in an 18-second match, he would have said no. If you would have asked if he could win the tag titles with anyone on the roster, he would say yes. Did he think he’d spend nine months with Kane? No. That still doesn’t change the fact that Team Hell No! is one of the best tag teams in WWE history. With that said, Kane, you need to come out here right now. Kane comes out and says the only thing he’s interested in is their 6-man tonight. Bryan says they need to get everything out in the open. The last nine months have been incredible. They’ve been an awesome team in the ring, and he’s proud of what they’ve done to become better partners. At Payback, Kane won’t be his partner, and when he wins, he will be the WWE Tag Team Champions with someone else. As for Team Hell No!, that team will be done. Kane asks if Bryan is breaking up with him. Bryan should know the same thing will happen when Kane wins the US title on Sunday. Bryan says Kane doesn’t understand he and Orton will be the Tag Team Champions, and they will be Team RK-No! Kane says Bryan’s acting like it’s a given he’ll win. He and Bryan couldn’t beat The Shield, not to mention Bryan hates Orton. Bryan asks if Kane doesn’t think he can do it, and Kane says he doesn’t. Bryan says it’s because he’s the weak link. He and Orton had The Shield beat last time, and on Sunday, he will prove he’s not the weak link, and Kane will have to sit back and know that he and Orton did something he and Kane could never do. That means only one thing. Kane asks if Bryan is accusing him of being the weak link. Bryan confirms it, so Kane grabs him by the throat.
Randy Orton comes out and says he can’t let Kane do this. He understand why Kane wants to chokeslam Bryan, but he needs him at 100% at Payback. What Kane does to Bryan affects Orton, so if Kane chokeslams Bryan, Orton might hit him with an RKO. Bryan gets offended at Orton interfering, saying he didn’t ask for Orton to save him. Kane interjects and tells them to work things out, and he’ll see them later. Bryan tells him to run off like he always does. The Shield appear on the TitanTron. Seth Rollins calls this funny, and Dean Ambrose calls this a car wreck. After 6 months of being beaten by them, they understand why their opponents are mad. The Shield is unstoppable, unbeatable and untouchable. Now, do you believe in The Shield? Looks to them like you do. Tonight will be like every other night they’ve faced The Shield. They’ll lose tonight and at Payback. The “Hounds of Justice” run this yard.
Sheamus is in action next.
MATCH 1: Sheamus vs. Antonio Cesaro
Before the match starts, Damien Sandow comes out onto the stage. He says the man across from Sheamus speaks five languages. Just like the unwashed masses, Sheamus can barely speak one. Sandow has humiliated Sheamus intellectually and physically, and this Sunday, Sandow will leave him in his Irish wake. The match starts with a lock-up, and Sheamus backs Cesaro into the ropes. Cesaro hits a European uppercut before pushing Sheamus into the corner. Cesaro hits some body blows and a slap to the face. Sheamus responds by stomping Cesaro down and out of the ring. Back in, Sheamus throws Cesaro to the corner for some forearm shots and a short-arm clothesline. Cesaro comes bacak with some strikes and European uppercuts. Sheamus fights out of a chinlock and catches Cesaro with a tilt-a-whirl powerslam for 2. Sheamus assaults Cesaro with body blows and goes for a suplex, but Cesaro blocks it and hits a waistlock takedown. He spins around and deadlifts Sheamus from a flat position into a gutwrench suplex before clotheslining him to the floor. Outside, Cesaro goes for a cross-body from the apron, but Sheamus catches him and hits a fall-away slam into the barricade. Commercials.
WINNER: Sheamus. Pretty damn good match to open the show. For anyone who says Sheamus can’t work, watch this match and get back to me. I don’t like the guy as a face, but he’s a far better worker than he gets credit for. As for Cesaro, I really don’t understand why WWE is down on him. He’s probably one of the five or ten best workers on the roster right now. Anyway, as Sheamus is celebrating on the stage, Sandow comes back out and nails Sheamus in the back of the head with a forearm shot.
Video for The Wyatt Family, and this is followed by a video package for CM Punk.
We see Teddy Long in his office on his cellphone. It turns into a commercial for Hardee’s. Long proceeds to unwrap a burger and eat it as a pre-unwrapped burger is just sitting on the edge of the table. Makes sense. AJ Lee, Dolph Ziggler and Big E. Langston interrupt Teddy’s feeding. Ziggler says it’s been a month since he’s been on SD, and he’s two days away from the biggest title match of his career, so why is he in a tag match against ADR and Chris Jericho tonight? This show is nothing without him, so Long needs to rearrange his thoughts. What he does tonight will just be a taste of what he does to ADR on Sunday. Long goes back to his burger, but Langston takes it out of his hands and starts stuffing his face. He takes a few bites before shoving it back in Long’s hands. Meanwhile, there’s still another completely untouched burger at the edge of the table.
MATCH 2: The Great Khali (w/Hornswoggle and Natalya) vs. Heath Slater (w/Jinder Mahal and Drew McIntyre)
Lock-up to start, and Slater gets shoved on his ass. Slater ducks a clothesline and slaps Khali. Khali drops him with a clothesline, then sets him in the corner for an open-hand chop. In the opposite corner, Khali hits another chop. Slater attacks out of another corner, hitting several kicks and punches. Slater hits a shoulder thrust and a few body blows before Khali drops him with a back elbow and a big boot. Clothesline by Khali, followed by another. Outside the ring, the corner members of each side are arguing until Mahal knocks Hornswoggle down. Khali hits him with a Brain Chop from inside the ring, and Slater clips Khali’s knee from behind. He hits a snap DDT and gets the 3.
WINNER: Heath Slater. Wow. When was the last time a member of 3MB won any kind of match?
MATCH 3: Alberto Del Rio and Chris Jericho (w/Ricardo Rodriguez) vs. Big E. Langston and World Champion Dolph Ziggler (w/AJ Lee)
Before this match, they showed slo-mo video of when Ziggler got his concussion. The kick from Swagger was sloppy and reckless. No wonder he’s not getting pushed anymore. ADR and Ziggler start the match, but Ziggler immediately tags out to Langston. Langston shoves ADR, then hits some shots to the gut. Shoulder thrusts in the corner by Langston, but ADR suckers him in and hits some kicks before nailing the step-up enziguri. Jericho tags in and nails some strikes on Langston before chopping him repeatedly. Jericho ducks a clothesline and hits a step-up enziguri, followed by a low dropkick for 2. Langston shoves Jericho into the corner and hits some shoulder thrusts. Ziggler tags in, and he stomps Jericho down. The Show-Off elbow connects, and Jericho kicks out at 2. Langston tags back in, missing an avalanche. Jericho rolls him up for 2, then hits a dropkick. ADR tags in and hits a running kick to the head. He ducks a clothesline, but gets nailed with a shoulderblock. Langston goes for a bodyslam, but ADR escapes and hits a Backstabber. Ziggler tags and goes for a cheap shot, but ADR sees him coming, so Ziggler bails to the floor. Commercials.
Back from the break, Langston and Jericho are legal. Jericho suckers Langston into the ropes and sends him to the floor. Dropkick through the ropes by Jericho, and he follows up by slamming Langston’s face into the apron before rolling him back in. Behind the ref’s back, AJ slaps Jericho as he’s trying to get back in the ring, and Langston knocks him off the apron with a running knee. Langston heads outside and rams Jericho into the barricade. Langston rolls Jericho in the ring and goes for the pin, getting 2. Langston hits a standing avalanche off the ropes for another 2 before tagging in Ziggler. Ziggler beats Jericho down in the corner, then hits a Rude Awakening for 2. Ziggler misses an avalanche, and Jericho hits a running facebuster. ADR tags in, hits a pair of clotheslines and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. ADR hits a thrust kick to the face, and Langston comes in and knocks him down with an avalanche. Jericho takes Langston out, and Ziggler nails Jericho with a dropkick. Ziggler goes after ADR, and ADR quickly cradles him for 3.
WINNERS: Alberto Del Rio and Chris Jericho.
Renee Young is in the back with Chris Jericho. She congratulates him on his victory, then moves onto Sunday. Jericho says that his match with Punk is a rare match. It’s taken on a life of its own because of the crowd as well as the competitors. Chicago will be cheering their hero, but Jericho is no stranger to the city. He debuted in Chicago in 1999, for one. Regardless of who the crowd gets behind, this match will exceed the first two. The camera pans over to show Paul Heyman standing in the area. He wishes Jericho best of luck and offers a handshake. Jericho doesn’t respond. Heyman says Jericho needs the luck, as the odds aren’t in his favor. In addition to being in Chicago, Punk will have Heyman in his corner. Heyman will have the best seat in the house on Sunday and can’t wait until the ring announcer announces Punk as the winner and the best in the world. Jericho slaps Heyman, then says “Pipe bomb!”
MATCH 4: Aksana vs. WWE Divas Champion Kaitlyn (non-title)
Kaitlyn immediately tackles Aksana and shoves her to the floor. Kaitlyn assaults Aksana with punches before throwing her back in the ring. Aksana cuts her off upon re-entry, but Kaitlyn tackles Aksana once more. The ref tries to pull her off, so Kaitlyn assaults him as well. Aksana rolls to the floor, and Kaitlyn goes after her again. The ref tries to interject, so Kaitlyn slaps him as Aksana flees to the back.
WINNER: No contest, as the bell never rang.
Curtis Axel makes his way out for a match. Scoff all you want, I’m digging Axel’s new gimmick. His name isn’t the best, but he’s a good worker, and with Heyman as his mouthpiece, that adds up to a good combination. Plus, he has one of the best entrance themes in WWE right now. Looks like Axel is facing Wade Barrett, but before the match, Barrett says he wants to chat businessman-to-businessman with Heyman. Why would we have this match right now? He could injure Axel tonight, and then he wouldn’t be able to compete for the IC title on Sunday. There’s also a small chance Axel could injure him. So, should they fight now, or would it make business sense to leave this until Sunday? Heyman whispers in Axel’s ear as The Miz comes out. Wonderful. He says his catchphrase about 812 times before asking what these two would rather do, like maybe go to Starbucks or compete on Dancing With the Stars. No one wants to see them dance; people want to see them fight. The reaction to Miz’s promo was lukewarm-at-best, pin-dropping-silence at worst. God, I wish WWE would give up on him.
MATCH 5: Curtis Axel (w/Paul Heyman) vs. Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett (non-title)
Axel backs Barrett into the corner, where he assaults him with punches and kicks. Barrett comes back with punches of his own, then hits some kneelifts to the face and a short-arm clothesline for 1. Axel ducks a clothesline, leapfrogs Barrett and hits a running dropkick for 2. Barrett ducks a clothesline and nails a mule kick to the gut, sending Axel to the floor, right by Miz. Barrett heads outside and tries to slam Axel into the steps. Axel blocks it and slams Barrett’s face into the steps. He goes to clothesline Barrett, but Barrett ducks, causing Axel to connect with Miz. Barrett rolls Axel into the ring, and as he’s climbing in, Axel hits the Broken Axel through the ropes for 3.
WINNER: Curtis Axel. After the match, Miz comes in from behind and hits Axel with the Skull-Crushing Finale.
Another video fro The Wyatt Family. This is proof that Waylon Mercy was way ahead of his time.
MATCH 6: The Shield (WWE United States Champion Dean Ambrose, and WWE Tag Team Champions Roman Reigns & Seth Rollins) vs. Randy Orton and Team Hell No! (Daniel Bryan & Kane)
Bryan and Rollins start, with Rollins assaulting Bryan with rights in the corner. Bryan backflips off a corner whip, ducks a clothesline, and hits one of his own. Bryan hits some kicks before tagging in Kane. Bryan hits a snapmare, and Kane follows up with a low dropkick for 1. Kane hits a suplex for 2. Rollins tags in Ambrose, who attacks Kane with rights before running into a big boot. Orton tags in and kicks Ambrose in the gut before beating him down in the corner. Orton hits some European uppercuts, then follows with a series of headbutts, a corner clothesline and a suplex. Bryan tags in and hits some kicks to the chest. Ambrose backs him into the corner, where Reigns tags in and hits a high bodyslam for 2. Rollins in, and he assaults Bryan with some elbows to the back of the neck. Ambrose in, and he hits some punches before hitting a power-drive elbow for 2. Ambrose applies a deathlock and combines it with a rear chinlock before turning it into a dragon sleeper. Bryan fights out before getting hit with a knee to the gut. Ambrose charges in and gets a kitchen sink. Orton tags in and hits two clotheslines on Ambrose, followed by a powerslam. Rollins comes in and gets powerslammed as well. Orton goes for the suspended DDT on Ambrose, but gets cut off by Reigns. He fights Reigns off and goes for a double DDT, but Ambrose breaks free and hotshots him for 2. Commercials.
WINNERS: Randy Orton and Team Hell No! The crowd is going batsh*t for Daniel Bryan.
End of show.
Dustin Nichols is a freelance writer, and you can keep track of all of his work on his Facebook page, which can be found at www.facebook.com/DustinNicholsWriter. Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out his mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:
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