This week on WWE Friday Night SmackDown!, the show opens with Alberto Del Rio pacing in the parking lot, carrying a wooden stick. He’s apparently looking for The Big Show.
In the arena, GM Booker T is in the ring, surrounded by a bunch of wrestlers and Teddy Long. He welcomes us to the show before reminding us that John Cena won the Royal Rumble last Sunday. Cena has made it clear he’s challenging for the WWE title at Wrestlemania 29. The question now is, who will challenge for the World title that night? That’s why we’re here. Every wrestler around Book has been the World Champion at some point (The Great Khali, Randy Orton, Dolph Ziggler-w/AJ and Big E. Langston, Team Hell No! and Sheamus), and he’s giving them each the chance to be champion once more. The only thing they have to do is win the Elimination Chamber. There are only six spots available…
Back to the other six. They will all be in matches tonight. All they have to do is impress him, and he’ll decide what to do next. Now, to start the show off with a bang. The first match will be a tag team match. It will be Team Hell No! vs. Sin Cara and another former champion who wants into the Chamber, that being Rey Mysterio. Ugh. Here’s a face I didn’t need to see again. And since we’re in San Diego, it’s pretty much guaranteed he’s winning here.
MATCH 1: WWE Tag Team Champions Team Hell No! (Daniel Bryan and Kane) vs. Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara (non-title)
Cara has new gear, and Mysterio is dressed like Aquaman. Rey and Kane start the match, and Kane boots him in the corner. Rey counters a tilt-a-whirl into an Asai DDT for 2. Kane rolls to the floor, where Rey dropkicks him through the ropes. Back in, Rey dropkicks Kane in the knee before tagging in Cara, and they hit a pair of kicks to the chest and back. Cara goes for the pin, getting 1. Kane throws him to the corner and tags in Bryan, who hits some strikes. Cara comes back with a handspring back elbow and a hurricanrana off the ropes. Cara with a kick and a twisting armdrag from the top rope. Rey tags in, and the luchadores hit a double-team cannonball on Bryan. Rey goes for the pin, getting 2. Rey goes for a spinning headscissors, but Bryan counters into a modified lung blower. Kane tags in, hitting a corner clothesline for 1. Uppercut by Kane, and now Bryan is back in. Kane whips Bryan into Rey, and Bryan connects with a dropkick for 2. Rey hits the headscissors this time and looks for the 619, but Bryan slides to the floor. Commercials.
We’re back, and Bryan is working over Cara’s arm. Cara reverses a corner whip, but runs into a boot. Bryan mounts the middle buckle, and Cara hits him with a kick. Up top, Cara goes for a super hurricanrana. Bryan shoves him off, and he lands on his feet, where he is met with a seated dropkick from the middle rope by Bryan. Bryan goes for a surfboard stretch, then tags in Kane, who hits a low dropkick for 1. Sidewalk slam for 2. Kane sets him on the top rope, but Cara fights him off and goes for a cross-body. Kane catches him and goes for a powerslam, and Cara counters into a tornado DDT. Bryan and Rey tag in, and Rey gets the hot tag. He hits another cannonball and goes for a hurricanrana. Bryan rolls through into a sunset flip, and Rey continues to roll, hitting a seated dropkick for 2. Rey sets up for the 619, but Kane intercepts him. He boots Cara down and goes for the chokeslam, but Rey counters into a hurricanrana, sending Kane to the floor. Bryan grabs Rey and applies the No! Lock, but Cara dropkicks Bryan in the face to break the hold. Cara takes out Kane on the floor as Rey connects with the 619. Rey hits a falling splash off the top and gets the 3.
WINNERS: Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara. Bryan and Kane argue on the outside post-match.
Matt Striker approaches ADR in the parking lot. ADR says he’s just getting fresh air.
MATCH 2: The Great Khali (w/Hornswoggle and Natalya) vs. Jinder Mahal (w/Drew McIntyre and Heath Slater)
Khali forearms Mahal across the head, then hits an open-hand chop in the corner. Mahal dropkicks him in the knee, then applies a front chancery. Khali shoves him off and hits another chop to the chest. He hits a clothesline and a brain chop. He calls for the Punjabi Plunge, but Drew jumps on the apron for a distraction. He thrusts at Nattie, so Khali brain chops him. Slater chases Hornswoggle under the ring as Khali hits the Punjabi Plunge on Mahal for the 3.
WINNER: The Great Khali.
Book and Teddy Long are watching on the monitor. Long says tonight is going to be fun and unpredictable. Book says that Jack Swagger’s return was unpredictable. Long admits that Swagger’s return was his idea. The Rhodes Scholars walk in, and Rhodes says they are dissolving the team and returning to singles competition. Sandow says they will, however remain friends. As the French author Albert Camus once said, “Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead. Don’t walk in front of me, I may not follow. Just walk beside me, and be my friend.” Rhodes and Sandow hug while telling each other things will work out. Book interrupts the hug and says he’s glad about this decision. That frees Sandow up to face the guy who put him through a table on RAW, that being Sheamus. Book tells him he’s welcome.
ADR is still pacing outside, waiting for Show.
MATCH 3: Sheamus vs. Damien Sandow
Sandow fires off some punches until Sheamus trips him and hits some of his own. Sandow rolls to the floor off an Irish whip, and Sheamus drops him on the outside. Back in, Sandow stomps Sheamus down, then hits some corner shoulder thrusts. Sandow hits a side-Russian legsweep, then drops a jumping knee. The Cobito Acqiuet connects for 1. They trade strikes, Sandow from a standing position and Sheamus from his knees. Sheamus eventually beats Sandow down in the corner, but Sandow comes back with more strikes of his own. Sheamus hits a shoulder in the corner, a running knee and a pair of Irish Hammers. He goes for White Noise, but Sandow slides out onto the apron. From there, Sheamus traps him in the ropes and hits the forearms to the chest. All of a sudden, The Shield’s music hits, and we see them make their way through the crowd. Sandow disappears.
WINNER: No contest. The Shield surrounds the ring, and Seth Rollins is the first in, who gets blasted with a Brogue Kick. Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns double-teams Sheamus, who is fighting back. He sends Reigns to the floor, but Ambrose trips Sheamus up. They continue the 2-on-1 attack until Rollins recovers. When he does, The Shield hit the triple powerbomb.
MATCH 4: Randy Orton vs. Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett (non-title)
Orton ducks a clothesline and fires off some rights. He hits a clothesline and a dropkick, sending Barrett to the floor. Back in, Barrett with some strikes, punching Orton in the corner. Orton fires back before Barrett drops him with a boot for 2. Neckbreaker by Barrett for another 2. Barrett traps Orton in the ropes, where he drops Orton to the apron with a running boot for 2. Rear chinlock is applied, but Orton throws him off and goes for the Four Moves of Boredom. Barrett drops to the floor to avoid the DDT. Orton heads out, and Barrett cuts him off, slamming him into the post. He calls for the Bull Hammer, but Orton ducks, and Barrett hits the post. Orton pulls him to the apron and hits the suspended DDT. RKO ends the match.
WINNER: Randy Orton. That RKO looked absolutely awful.
Matt Stryker is in the back with Wade Barrett after the commercials. Barrett starts to talk, but sees someone off-camera. It’s Bo Dallas, and Barrett attacks from behind. They start brawling and Barrett eventually gets the best of it, stomping Dallas down behind an equipment box.
MATCH 5: Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger
Swagger skips the pre-match push-ups. Swagger immediately tackles Kofi, then hits a waistlock takedown. Belly-to-belly suplex by Swagger. Kofi hits some strikes before running into a shoulder. Crisscross ends in a Kofi back elbow. Swagger shakes it off and throws Kofi across the ring. Swagger Bomb connects for 2. Kofi tries to fight back, but no such luck. Another throw by Swagger. Kofi hits some punches and a springboard cross-body by Kofi gets 2. Swagger recovers and turns Kofi inside-out with a clothesline. Swagger applies an armbar now, and Kofi fights out before Swagger applies it again. Kofi fights out again, but Swagger backs him into the corner and hits some kneelifts. Kofi manages to knock Swagger back, hits some chops and a dropkick. Boom Drop connects as the crowd has begun to turn on Kofi. He calls for the TIP, but Swagger catches him and throws him to the corner, where Kofi hits the Pendulum. Up top, Kofi goes for a springboard clothesline. Swagger ducks, as Kofi lands on his feet. Kofi rebounds and sends Swagger to the floor with a seated dropkick. Swagger avoids a baseball slide and sends Kofi into the steps. Kofi hops over them and charges back at Swagger with a jumping clothesline. He goes for TIP outside, but Swagger moves, and Kofi’s foot hits the announce desk. Back in the ring, Swagger applies the ankle lock to the bad foot, and Kofi taps.
WINNER: Jack Swagger. Nice to see WWE booking Swagger as a legitimate threat and not a comedy act this time around.
ADR is approached by security, telling him to throw his weapon down and come inside. ADR starts to agree until he sees a bus enter the parking lot. I guess it’s a pipe and not a stick. My bad. Anyway, the bus does indeed belong to Show, who we see getting off of it. ADR charges at him with the pipe, narrowly missing. Show fights back until ADR swings at him. Show moves, and the pipe hits the window of a car. Show kicks him away from the roof, and ADR trips him on the roof with the pipe. Show climbs into another car, locks the door and speeds away.
After Dolph Ziggler enters the arena, we see ADR walking towards the ring. Ricardo Rodriguez approaches him, wearing a neck brace. ADR tells him to stay back, but Ricardo doesn’t want to since they are a team. ADR tells him no since he’s hurt, and to trust him.
MATCH 6: Dolph Ziggler (w/AJ and Big E. Langston) vs. World Champion Alberto Del Rio (non-title)
Lock-up to start, with Ziggler going into an armbar. ADR reverses and forces Ziggler to the mat. Ziggler fights back, but ADR quickly recovers, knocking Ziggler down. He misses a moonsault, lands on his feet, rolls through and pancakes Ziggler down before hitting a thrust kick to the face for 2. Ziggler avoids a corner charge and hits a jumping DDT for 2. Neckbreaker by Ziggler for 2. Show-Off Elbow for another 2. Rear chinlock is applied, and ADR eventually gets to his feet. He ducks a clothesline and hits a German suplex. ADR goes up for the moonsault again, but AJ distracts the referee, which allows Langston to trip ADR and knock him back to the mat. Ziggler goes for the cover, getting 2. ADR ducks a clothesline, dropkicks Langston through the ropes and hits a flapjack on Ziggler. Langston jumps on the apron, so the referee ejects him. Commercials.
WINNER: Alberto Del Rio.
The Big Show pops up on the big screen and says he’s back in the building, and he’s not alone. He has a friend with him. The camera pans out to see Ricardo Rodriguez standing next to Show. He tells ADR to stay in the ring, because if he doesn’t, Show will snap Ricardo like a piece of straw. He tells ADR that if ADR attacks him like that ever again, he will make ADR sorry he ever woke up that day. Show will hurt anyone and everyone who gets in his way. Ricardo falls to his knees, begging for mercy. Show pulls him back to his feet and says he’ll let him go, but not before connecting with a WMD. ADR runs to the back. Back to Ricardo, a referee is checking on him already. A trainer and ADR both show up as well. ADR is screaming for a doctor.
End of show.
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