This week’s WWE SmackDown! is the final episode of the year, and something tells me it will be mostly a throw-away show, if it’s anything like the Christmas Eve episode of RAW this past Monday.
We kick things off with Sheamus making his way out. First off, Sheamus hopes everyone had a merry Christmas. He had a great time. It’s a special time of year for him. He drank gallons of eggnog-flavored ale. He got a bunch of ugly sweaters and ties, and of course, he got a year’s supply of sunscreen from his ma. The greatest present, though, was when he defeated The Big Show in the Lumberjack Frost Match on Monday. He’s going to make a new year’s resolution right now, and that is to become the new World Champion. The new year is too far away, though, and the old saying goes there’s no time like the present. Show, he’s calling you out, fella, for tonight, in a match for the World Champion. If you thought the beating on Monday was bad, fella, wait until you see what he does to you in the ring tonight. Show heads down to the ring and has a question for Sheamus: does he look like Santa Claus? “Yes!” chants from the crowd on this note. Sheamus agrees, but says Show is way fatter. Show calls that remark cute and tells Sheamus to go into stand-up, and his likelihood of being successful at that is about the same as getting another shot at the title. Sheamus must have a pathetic case of denial. Show has beaten him twice when it counted. As for RAW, Show was in Christmas Vacation mode. The title wasn’t on the line, so that victory didn’t count. Sheamus always comes up short when it counts, and he can’t tell Show when he’ll defend his title again, or against who. Sheamus calls him a coward, and even though the title wasn’t on the line on Monday, his pride was. Show says he’s not afraid of anything. Sheamus says he came here to fight for the title tonight, and if he can’t get the title, he’s still gonna get a fight.
[adinserter name=”366 left”]General Manager Booker T comes out and tells Sheamus that Show is right. Show beat him at TLC, however, Sheamus also beat Show on Monday night. Show knows where this is going, and he’s not having any part of it. He’s done with Sheamus, and Sheamus isn’t worthy of another title match. There isn’t one single athlete on Smackdown! who is worthy of a title match. Whenever he walks through that locker room, it reeks of inferiority. Book is sorry Show feels that way, but he will be in action tonight. He’s been working on this match all week. Book is going to bring out every WWE superstar that’s here tonight, and he’s going to put everyone’s name in a tumbler, including Sheamus. Whoever’s name is chosen will face Show tonight for the World title. Teddy Long and Eve Torres lead all of the superstars out onto the stage. Show calls this whole thing ridiculous. It’s not a lottery to see who gets a shot at the title; it’s a lottery to see who gets knocked out. Book says we’re going to find out the winner right now. Teddy and Eve fight over who is going to draw the name, and Eve knocks the tumbler off the table. Book decides he’ll draw the name himself, and the winner is…Santino Marella. Show immediately starts laughing, while Santino celebrates his opportunity. Show walks up the ramp and gets in Santino’s face, then laughs some more before heading to the back.
MATCH 1: Primo (w/Epico and Rosa Mendes) vs. Brodus Clay (w/The Funkadactyls-Cameron and Naomi)
Primo immediately attacks the right leg of Clay. Clay comes back with strikes, then hits a front powerslam. He drops Primo with the headbutt, and hits Aw, Funk It for the 3.
WINNER: Brodus Clay. Rosa gets in Clay’s face after the match, so the Funkadactyls hit her with a double suplex and double suicide. Some kids from the audience join in on the dancing afterwards.
Sheamus and Santino are in the locker room, and Sheamus is trying to help Santino with tonight’s match. Santino calls Sheamus the master and tells him to paint a masterpiece on him. Sheamus talks about the Brogue Kick, and Santino wants to learn it. With the Cobra and the Brogue Kick, it’s guaranteed Sheamus will never be champion again. Sheamus shows him how to do it, and Santino ends up injuring his hamstring.
MATCH 2: Wade Barrett and The Rhodes Scholars (Cody Rhodes and Damien Sandow) vs. Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston and WWE Tag Team Champions Team Hell No! (Daniel Bryan and Kane)
Bryan and Rhodes start the match. Bryan applies a hammerlock, and Rhodes breaks free. Bryan hits him with a kick to the chest, followed by a slingshot into Kane’s boot. Apparently Kane tagged in, and he gets 1. He misses a clothesline in the corner, and Rhodes tags in Sandow. Sandow with punches and kicks, but he gets sent into the corner and hit with a sidewalk slam for 2. Kofi tags in, and he hits a double axe handle to the arm from the top. Sandow drops Kofi before tagging Rhodes in, and he gets a shot in before tagging in Barrett. Kofi counters a bodyslam with a side headlock. Barrett shoves him off and hits a shoulderblock, and the crisscross ends with a spinning back elbow from Kofi. Kofi hits a dropkick for 2. He applies a front chancery, but Barrett shoves him off. Kofi ducks a clothesline and goes for TIP, but Barrett sees it coming and backs off. We get a stand-off between the two teams as we go to commercials.
Video package for Wade Barrett.
We’re back, and the Rhodes Scholars hit a wishbone on Bryan. Sandow is legal, and he hits a side-Russian legsweep, followed by the Cubito Auquet for 2. Barrett back in, and he traps Bryan in the ropes for some kneelifts. Barrett sends Bryan to the apron with a running boot, then pulls him back in for 2. Barrett applies a camel clutch, and Bryan fights out with elbows. Barrett rebounds and sends Bryan hard into the corner. Rhodes in, and he stomps Bryan down. Snapmare by Rhodes, and he turns it into a rear chinlock, combined with an armbar. Bryan punches out of the hold and manages to hot shot Rhodes into the turnbuckles. Barrett and Kofi tag in, and Kofi immediately hits a springboard clothesline. He ducks a boot and takes Barrett down with some punches. Barrett sends Kofi into the buckles, but Kofi dodges the charge and hits the Pendulum. Pumping cross-body from the top gets 2 until the Scholars break it up. Kane takes them both to the floor, where they rebound and ram Kane into the barricade. Bryan quickly joins the fight and takes Sandow down, but turns around into the Beautiful Disaster from the apron by Rhodes. In the ring, Kofi counters the Bullhammer with a roll-up, but breaks it when he sees Rhodes coming in. He blasts Rhodes with Trouble in Paradise, but immediately gets nailed with the Bullhammer for 3.
WINNERS: Wade Barrett and the Rhodes Scholars.
We are informed that Santino will not be able to compete tonight due to a pulled hamstring. This segues into Booker T and Big Show in Book’s office. Show thinks he has the night off now that Santino is injured, but Book isn’t having that. He promised a title match tonight, and there will be one. He says they’re going to spin the tumbler again, and select a new name for the title match. Teddy Long pushes the tumbler in, and Show & Book continue to argue. Moments later, Teddy brings Ricardo Rodriguez in, and Book says this is his new challenger. Show laughs at him, puts the belt on Ricardo’s shoulder and begins berating him. He asks Ricardo to announce himself as champion. Ricardo starts to do the announcement, but Show knocks him out with the WMD. Guess Ricardo’s out for the evening, too.
MATCH 3: Zack Ryder vs. WWE United States Champion Antonio Cesaro (non-title)
Lock-up to start the match, and Cesaro backs Ryder into the corner. Cesaro hits a suplex for 1 before applying a rear chinlock. Ryder fights out, but Cesaro drops him with a gut shot before stomping him down. Cesaro hits the deadlift gutwrench suplex for 2. He fires off some gut shots in the corner, but Ryder comes back with rights. Cesaro quickly drops him and hits a double stomp for 2. Cesaro applies a waistlock, trying to wear Ryder down. Ryder breaks free and hits a facebuster. Middle rope dropkick connects, and Ryder follows up with the forearm shot in the corner and the Broski Boot. He misses the boot, however, and Cesaro blasts him with a European uppercut to the back of the head. Neutralizer connects and gets the 3.
WINNER: Antonio Cesaro.
MATCH 4: The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler (w/Big E. Langston and AJ Lee)
Miz starts with a side headlock and follows up with a hip throw. Miz shoulders Ziggler off the ropes, then hits another hip throw. Armdrag and another hip throw. Ziggler counters with a top wristlock before punching Miz down. Ziggler applies a side headlock, then shoulders Miz down off the ropes. Crisscross ends in a flapjack by Miz. Miz sends Ziggler over the top rope, but he’s caught by Langston. Back in the ring, Ziggler boots Miz in the gut, then hits a snapmare and jumping elbow for 2. Rear chinlock is applied, and he turns it into a modified abdominal stretch. Miz snaps Ziggler off, takes him down and fires off some punches. Up top, Miz goes for an axe handle, but Ziggler meets him with a dropkick. Commercials.
Back from the break, Ziggler gets 2. He goes back to the rear chinlock, and Miz elbows out. Ziggler cuts him off, but Miz quickly hits a back suplex. They trade shots until Miz drops Ziggler in mid-air off a lift. Reality Check connects, getting 2. Ziggler goes for the sleeper, but Miz fights him off and hits the snap DDT for 2. Ziggler ducks a running boot and rolls Miz up for 2. Miz sends Ziggler into the corner and connects with the hanging clothesline. Up top, Miz connects with a double axe handle. He blows a kiss at AJ and signals for the SKF, but AJ immediately sends Langston into the ring. Langston gets in Miz’s face from the steps, and Ziggler quickly hits the Zig Zag for the 3.
WINNER: Dolph Ziggler. After the match, Miz tells AJ that, no matter which superstar she’s with on New Year’s Eve, they all know that night will end with a bang. Happy new year, sweetheart. Ziggler charges back to the ring, where Miz pops up and nails him with a microphone. Miz manages to knock Ziggler down to the floor, and Langston hits the ring, drops Miz with a standing avalanche with what I guess is now called Sudden Impact. Better name than the Big Ending, but the move itself still sucks.
We see a doctor checking on Ricardo Rodriguez. The doctor says he’ll be okay, but can’t compete. Booker T is trying to get some answers until Brad Maddox enters the room. He asks for one more shot, but Book isn’t listening. Maddox still bothers him, so Book agrees to it, saying this is his last chance. His match is up next, so he needs to get out of here. Alberto Del Rio enters the room to check on Ricardo, then tells Book that the moment he sees Big Show, he’ll look like a giant piñata, and ADR will open him up. Book has a better idea: ADR vs. Show for the title tonight. ADR likes that idea, then tells Ricardo the match is for him.
Brad Maddox makes his way out and says his new year’s resolution is to become a certified WWE superstar. He has never broken a resolution. He also has a resolution for everyone: always remember the name Brad Maddox. Trust him, after tonight, that will be as easy as it gets. Happy new year.
MATCH 5: Brad Maddox vs. Sheamus
Maddox goes to step outside the ring after the bell rings, but Sheamus talks him back in. Maddox applies a side headlock, so Sheamus shoves him off and drops him with a shoulderblock. He goes for a waistlock, so Sheamus easily throws him off. Maddox goes for an arm wringer, and Sheamus reverses before hitting a hip throw. Maddox gets a rope break and shoves Sheamus. Sheamus chases him out of the ring, and Maddox suckers him back in, stomping him down upon entry. Maddox fires off some rights, but can’t do a corner whip. Sheamus pulls him into the corner and beats him down. Maddox tries to climb out, and gets caught in the ropes by Sheamus, where he gets nailed with some forearms to the chest. Sheamus connects with White Noise, then runs through him with a Brogue Kick for the easy 3.
MATCH 6: The Usos (Jey and Jimmy) vs. The Prime-Time Players (Titus O’Neil and Darren Young)
Jimmy and Young start the match, and Young quickly takes Jimmy down with a single-leg. Jimmy boots him off, but Young shoulders him down. Crisscross sequence, and Jimmy nails an uppercut. Jey tags in, and they hit a double back elbow and double elbow drop for 2. Young pushes Jey off as Titus makes a blind tag, and he knees Jey in the back. Titus stomps Jey down, then hits a short-arm clothesline. Young back in, and he accidentally boots Titus off a whip. Jey misses a kick and Young hits the Forever Young for 2 as Jimmy breaks up the pin. Titus beats Jimmy down in the corner, and as the referee is pulling Titus back to his corner, the Usos switch places, and Jimmy rolls Young up in an inside cradle for 3.
WINNER: The Usos.
We get a video package for The Shield. They say that 2012 will go down in history for the scar they left, and their just getting started. They warned everyone. They didn’t just talk about injustice; no, they rectified it. For them, the mission remains the same. 2013 will be the year The Shield cleanses the disease of injustice from WWE. They have no friends or allies, they answer to no one. In 2013, justice lives. Believe in The Shield.
[adinserter name=”366 right”]Matt Striker is with Big Show, wanting comments on ADR tonight. Show calls this match ridiculous. He’s had two opponents tonight. One got injured, and one got knocked out. He said everyone in WWE was either a loser, a reject, a wannabe or a nobody, and that includes ADR as well. If he wants to get knocked out tonight, fine. Show will consider it a trifecta.
MATCH 7-World Championship: The Big Show (champion) vs. Alberto Del Rio
ADR actually gets a pretty sizeable pop here. I wonder if they’re really going to go forward with a face turn for him, as the plan is rumored to be. ADR immediately goes on the attack with punches and kicks. Show responds with a headbutt and goes for a chop in the corner, but ADR turns things around and fires off more punches. Show blocks a kick and drops him with a chop. Forearm to the back by Show, followed by a hip throw. ADR counters with a headscissors, then gets back to his feet for more kicks and punches. Show clubs him down again, then chops him across the chest before knocking him to the floor. Show follows and sends ADR into the steps. Back in the ring, Show applies a shoulder claw. ADR fights out, but runs right into a shoulderblock. Show walks across ADR’s stomach, then hits a bodyslam. ADR dodges an elbow off the ropes, then hits a series of running boots. He hits a mule kick to the head for 2 before attacking Show’s left arm. He calls for the rolling jujigatame, but can’t turn Show over. Show shoves him off through the ropes and to the floor. Show slides to the floor and begins walking up the ramp, apparently wanting a count-out. Sheamus attacks Show from behind, causing the DQ.
WINNER VIA DISQUALIFICATION: The Big Show. He and Sheamus continue to brawl, and Show boots him down before trying to leave again. He is stopped by the rest of the locker room, and they all begin attacking him before rolling him into the ring where ADR hits him with a step-up enziguri in the corner, and Sheamus levels him with a Brogue Kick.
End of show.
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