Dean Ambrose vs. Randy Orton headlines this week’s WWE Friday Night SmackDown television show.
MATCH 1: RYBAXEL (CURTIS AXEL AND RYBACK) VS. MARK HENRY AND THE BIG SHOW
I was beginning to wonder if Show and Henry still even worked here. That said, I’m not interested in them being a squash tag team. Henry and Axel start the match, with Axel attempting a waistlock before sliding under Henry’s legs. Henry charges, and Axel immediately rolls to the floor while laughing. Back in, Axel tries for the same move, so Henry just clubs him down with forearms. Axel crawls to his corner and tags in Ryback, who begins talking trash to Henry. The two then lock up, and Henry shoves Ryback face-first into the middle rope. Back up, Ryback shoves Henry, so Henry shoves him back. Ryback goes for a punch, but Henry blocks and nails a right to the face. Henry begins ramming Ryback into the buckles, then sends him across the ring. Ryback comes back with a kick off the ropes (and a blind tag), and Henry gets clipped from behind by Axel as he attempts a press-slam on Ryback. Axel begins working over Henry’s left knee, then tags in Ryback, who stomps Henry down before driving his knee into Henry’s back and midsection. He signals for a powerbomb, but Henry counters with a back-body drop. Show and Axel tag in, with Show getting in all his hot-tag offense. He signals for the chokeslam before intercepting an incoming Ryback. He throws Ryback into a WSS by Henry, then hits Axel with a chokeslam for 3.
WINNERS: THE BIG SHOW AND MARK HENRY.
Speaking of Rollins, he comes out onto the stage and tells Ambrose to cut the crap. When they were in the Shield, everyone knew Ambrose was the unstable one while Rollins was the brains. But after RAW, as much as it pains him, he has to give Ambrose a bit of credit. It’s been a long week, though, so let’s cut to the chase. He knows what Ambrose wants to do, so he needs to name his stipulation now. Ambrose introduces “Mr. Money in the Bank” to the crowd, then says the case is looking rough today. Rollins says Ambrose’s problem is he thinks with his heart, not his head. While it’s courageous, it’s only going to get him so far, and it sure as hell won’t beat Rollins at Summerslam. It doesn’t matter what Ambrose chooses, because Summerslam is the end for Ambrose. Ambrose says not this time. Rollins will be stuck in the ring, and if he runs, he’ll run into a wall of bodies. They made a lot of enemies, and those enemies will make sure these two tear each other apart. You could call this match at Summerslam a Lumberjack Match, but you should call it the end of the line for Rollins. He promises that Summerslam will see “Mr. Money in the Bank” go broke. Rollins says he’s not going anywhere, because no matter what happens that night, he still has the case, and that makes him the future of this company. Speaking of futures, let’s talk about Ambrose’s future tonight. He has the option to choose the stipulation at Summerslam, but the Authority has granted Rollins to choose Ambrose’s opponent for tonight. Since he knows Ambrose is always in for a good fight, he’s picked someone so cold and mercilous, they were capable of this…We see footage of Randy Orton assaulting Roman Reigns a couple weeks ago on RAW. Back to the arena once more, Rollins announces Ambrose’s opponent is Orton.
We see Dolph Ziggler and the Rosebuds watching the Rollins/Slater match from RAW, making jokes. Seth Rollins walks up and says what’s even funnier is Ziggler’s career in the last couple of years. Rollins makes fun of Ziggler’s hair and face, and Ziggler makes fun of Rollins’ superhero get-up, comparing him to Catwoman. Rollins says he doesn’t think the Authority will pick his own opponent tonight, and that will be Ziggler. Ziggler promises there will be nothing funny about what he’ll do to Rollins later tonight.
Sin Cara awaits his opponent, and Damien Sandow comes out, dressed a member of border patrol (they’re in Laredo, TX). He mentions illegal aliens, then says all of the illegal aliens in the crowd, including Cara, need to go back across the Rio Grande.
MATCH 2: SIN CARA VS. MR. BORDER PATROL (DAMIEN SANDOW)
They lock up, and Patrol clubs Cara down before driving his knee into Cara’s gut. He hits the Cubito Aequet for 2, then applies a rear chinlock. Cara counters with a sit-out jawbreaker, then hits a springboard headbutt from the middle. He follows up with a cross-body and a spinning headscissors, then nails a handspring elbow for 2. Cara goes for a fireman’s carry slam, but Patrol escapes and hits an Edge-O-Matic for 2. Cara escapes You’re Welcome, hits the fireman’s carry slam, then connects with a swanton bomb for 3.
WINNER: SIN CARA.
MATCH 3: DOLPH ZIGGLER VS. SETH ROLLINS
The two lock up, and Rollins backs Ziggler to the corner. Rollins hits a back elbow and beals Ziggler across the ring before dropping him chest-first across the top rope. Rollins applies a rear chinlock, but Ziggler fights out. Rollins puts him down with a boot, then hits the 3 Amigos for 1. Rollins rakes Ziggler’s face, then chokes him over the middle rope. Rollins hits a snapmare and goes right into a rear chinlock, grinding Ziggler down to the mat. Ziggler counters with a sit-out jawbreaker, ducks a clothesline and hits a nice pair of dropkicks. Rollins avoids the rocker dropper, sending Ziggler over the top and to the floor. Commercials.
Back from the break, Rollins nails a boot off the ropes, then drops a knee for 2. He grinds Ziggler’s face into the mat, then stomps him in the chest. Rollins heads outside, pulls Ziggler to the apron and drives his elbow into Ziggler’s forehead before hitting a running boot. Back in the ring, Rollins kicks Ziggler around the ring, then stands on his face. He smacks Ziggler in the face until Ziggler misses a wild swing. Rollins nails a quick back elbow off the ropes for 2, then goes back to the chinlock. Ziggler breaks the hold by ramming Rollins back-first into the buckles. He then hits a snapmare, avoids a corner splash and nails a couple of rights before dropping Rollins with a clothesline. He hits a corner splash right into some mounted punches, followed by a neckbreaker for 2. Rollins tries to leave the ring, but Ziggler stops him with a back suplex for 2. Ziggler misses a clothesline, but then reverses a back suplex into a cross-body for 2. He misses another corner splash, and Rollins goes for a suplex. Ziggler reverses into a small package for 2, and now the two trade punches. Rollins drops Ziggler with a boot, but Ziggler hits a leaping DDT out of nowhere for 2. Rollins blocks a Zig-Zag and rolls Ziggler up for 2. Ziggler kicks him out to the apron, where Rollins nails a hotshot. Rollins misses a springboard knee, and Ziggler hits the rocker dropper for 2. Ziggler peppers Rollins with rights, but Rollins responds with a kick to the knee. He throws Ziggler shoulder-first into the ring post, and Ziggler flies through the ropes and to the floor in the process. Outside, Rollins throws Ziggler into the barricade, then into the ring steps. Rollins rolls Ziggler into the ring, hits the curb stomp and gets 3.
WINNER: SETH ROLLINS.
Renee Young is standing by with Randy Orton. She mentions his match with Roman Reigns at Summerslam, then goes onto tonight against Ambrose. Orton calls Ambrose unstable, but Orton is uncontrollable. He doesn’t know what he’ll do to Ambrose tonight, but he does know that Ambrose will find out first-hand who the truly sadistic superstar in the WWE is, that being himself.
MATCH 4: NATALYA VS. PAIGE
Paige offers a handshake, then begins shoving Nattie. She slaps Nattie, so Nattie reciprocates before hitting a discus clothesline. Nattie connects with a butterfly suplex, then goes for the Sharpshooter, locking it in. Paige manages to crawl to the bottom rope, grabbing the ring skirt in the process. Paige heads to the floor as the ref holds Nattie back. Nattie shoves him aside and heads out, where Paige hits her with a surprise Paige Turner. Paige gets back in the ring and skips around like AJ Lee as Nattie gets back in the ring at 7. Nattie rolls Paige up in a schoolgirl for 2, and Paige responds with a kick to the chest before locking in the PTO for the submission win.
MATCH 5: BIG E VS. RUSEV (W/LANA)
This match again? Ugh. Rusev nails a kick to the gut and hits some rights. E comes back with some body blows, but Rusev shakes them off and nails some palm thrusts before stomping E down in the corner. He hits an overhand right, then kicks E in the face. E blocks a corner splash while looking for his standing uranage. Rusev blocks that and nails some more shots until E hits a back elbow. Off the ropes, E hits a vertical splash, then nails a belly-to-belly. He misses the Warrior Splash, and Rusev nails a jumping side kick. He locks in the Accolade, and E taps out.
Some white guy is standing by with Chris Jericho, asking about his match with Bray Wyatt at Summerslam. Jericho points out that Luke Harper and Erick Rowan are banned from ringside, and Wyatt is all that’s left. Wyatt is a poison, but there is an antidote, spelled Y-2-J. He’ll purge the WWE of the Wyatt plague. He has the whole WWE Universe in his hands, and he’s going to shove the buzzards down Wyatt’s throat. Let’s get crazy.
MATCH 6: DEAN AMBROSE VS. RANDY ORTON
Orton boots Ambrose in the gut and goes after his perennially-bad shoulder. Ambrose reverses things and stomps Orton down in the corner, sending him to the floor. Back in the ring, Ambrose hits a hip throw. Orton reverses into a headscissors, but Ambrose escapes and applies a modified Indian deathlock while pulling at Orton’s ear. He hits a suplex, then follows up with a power-drive elbow for 2. He applies a straightjacket now, but Orton gets to his feet and reverses with a snapmare before booting Ambrose in the shoulder for 2. Orton stomps Ambrose in the corner, then drives his knee into Ambrose’s shoulder. Ambrose pulls himself to his feet, takes Orton down and unloads on him with rights before clotheslining him to the floor. Ambrose hits a slingshot plancha to the outside as we go to commercials.
WINNER VIA DISQUALIFICATION: DEAN AMBROSE.
Rollins assaults Ambrose at ringside until Ambrose sends him into the barricade. He rolls Rollins in, tackles him and unloads on him with rights. Orton comes back into the ring, nails Ambrose with a clothesline and drops him with an RKO. Rollins begins nailing Ambrose with rights, then heads outside and grabs a drink from a fan. Back in the ring, he pulls Ambrose up by his hair and pours soda all over his head. Rollins smacks Ambrose around while screaming at him, then tells him it’s the end for him. He pulls Ambrose up by his hair and nails the curb stomp.
End of show.