This edition of WWE Friday Night Smackdown! starts off with the latest episode of MizTV. Miz is in the ring, and he says luck struck Kofi Kingston on Wednesday, and he escaped with Miz’s IC title. Kofi, cherish this title reign, because it’s going to be very short. Tonight, Miz is invoking his rematch clause, and that match will happen at HIAC. He will show Kofi he is the most “must-see” WWE star, he will win back the title, and Kofi’s life will be a living hell. Speaking of hell, his guests tonight are the WWE Tag Team Champions, Team Hell No!
The champs head out to separate entrances, which Miz points out. If they were a true tag team, they’d come out together. Bryan says that, since Miz wants to talk about separating things, maybe he should separate Miz’s teeth from his mouth. Miz makes a petting zoo joke before bringing up season 1 of NXT. Bryan doesn’t get along with anyone, and he is the problem with the team. Miz calls Kane the sensible one, and when they defend their belts at HIAC, Bryan will be the reason they lose the titles. Kane tells Miz no one cares what he thinks. He’s won tag team championships with giants, deranged psychopaths with multiple personalities, and “The Dead Man” himself. If Bryan is the problem, Kane is the solution. Bryan says he’s not the problem, and he’s the reason they will win at HIAC. Quite frankly, “The Devil’s Favorite Demon” is nothing without “The World’s Toughest Vegan”. Great nickname. Kane says that’s like being the world’s tallest dwarf, which Bryan also has covered. Miz tries to interrupt, but they both tell him “No!”. Bryan reminds Kane he is a former World Champion, and he won the title by cashing in his briefcase and defeating a giant, ending his title reign in 45 seconds. And what else is he? HE is the Tag Team Champions! You know where this goes next. For a few seconds, at least, until The Big Show interrupts things. Show enters the ring and tells Kane he doesn’t have a problem with him. His problem is with Bryan, who he calls “little man”. After Monday, he thought Bryan would have learned to keep his mouth shut. Bryan beating him for the title was the biggest fluke in history. After HIAC when he knocks Sheamus out, nothing like that will ever happen again. If he ever hears Bryan mention 45 seconds again, he’ll knock him out. Show then says he shouldn’t even wait. Kane steps in and says they might be scheduled for a match on Monday, but they don’t have to wait.
Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero now joins the goings-on. He calls Bryan’s cash-in “so last year”, and all that matters is the current contract holder, that being Ziggler. Sheamus and Show are going to beat the hell out of each other, and then he’s going to do what he does better than anyone else, and that’s steal the show and become World Champion. It doesn’t matter who he cashes in on, either, because if Bryan can do it to Show, how hard can it be? Bryan, Show and Ziggler all start arguing, which causes GM Booker T to break things up. He tells everyone to chill out and listen to him. Miz tells him to save it, as we all know where this is going, that being a main event featuring everyone that’s in the ring. You are so creative. Can you dig that, sucker? See ya. Bye. Book says he wasn’t going to say that. Tonight, he’s got an announcement. He’s got two major matches planned tonight. First, Team Hell No! vs. Dolph Ziggler and The Big Show. Thank you. Miz reminds him he said, two. Book says he almost forgot about Miz. Miz will be facing…this man. “This man”, as you would expect, turns out to be Randy Orton. Commercials.
MATCH 1: The Miz vs. Randy Orton
Orton with a shoulderblock. He blocks a hip toss with a clothesline. Garvin Stomp. We Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo Rodriguez watching the match from a skybox. Miz comes back with some punches, and Orton returns fire with his own. Orton hits a clothesline out of the corner for 1. Back suplex gets 2. Miz lands a kitchen sink off the ropes. He hangs Orton across the top rope, then shoulders him to the floor and into the barricade. Commercials.
Back from the break, Miz has Orton in a rear chinlock. Orton fights out, but Miz hits the Reality Check for 2. In the middle of the match, we go to Matt Striker interviewing ADR. He says Orton was sending a message with the RKO on Ricardo last week. Ricardo reminds him of getting assaulted by Kane on RAW. ADR calls Orton a little girl. He’s afraid of ADR, and is nothing. ADR is the new “Apex Predator” in WWE. Back to the match, Orton is fighting out of another rear chinlock, but Miz manages to send him into the corner and nail the hanging clothesline. Up top, Orton crotches Miz. He hits some punches before hitting the Ace Superplex for 2. Four Move of Boredom are loaded up, but Miz avoids the suspended DDT by jumping to the floor. Orton follows out, but Miz is right back in the ring. Orton ducks a clothesline and hits a dropkick for 2. Miz comes back with the snap DDT for a 2 of his own. Orton dodges the running boot and hits the suspended DDT. He loads up the RKO, but Miz blocks it with an SKF attempt. Orton throws him off, and Miz runs right into the RKO for 3.
WINNER: Randy Orton. ADR taunts Orton from the skybox after the match, telling Orton they’ll do this on his terms, not Orton’s.
Sheamus is stopped by Teddy Long in the back. He says he’s not doing great. He’s not one to complain, but for the last two weeks, he and Wade Barrett have beaten the hell out of each other, only for Show’s big arse to interfere. He asks for one more match with Barrett. Long says he’ll talk to Booker T, and thinks he can make it happen. He also offers to make it a lumberjack match. Sheamus says he feels him, player, before fist-bumping him. We see Eve Torres looking on as Sheamus leaves.
MATCH 2: The Rhodes Scholars (Cody Rhodes and Damien Sandow) vs. International Airstrike (Justin Gabriel and Tyson Kidd)
Rhodes and Gabriel start things off. Gabriel fires off some quick kicks and a sweep. Kidd tags in, and he hits a kick to the face on Rhodes while Gabriel holds him in place. Kidd goes for the pin and gets 1. Gabriel back in with a sledge to the arm. He blocks a corner charge and goes up top, but Sandow pulls Rhodes to the floor. Gabriel takes Sandow out with a suicide dive, which allows Rhodes to clothesline him from behind. Back in the ring, Rhodes kicks Gabriel before tagging in Sandow. He trips Gabriel into the second rope, and Sandow follows up with a leg across the neck for 1. Side-Russian leg sweep and the Elbow of Disdain gets 2. Rhodes back in, who hits a snapmare before locking in a cravat. Gabriel tries to fight out, so Rhodes goes for a back suplex. Gabriel backflips out and hits Rhodes with a spinning heel kick. Sandow tags in and grabs Gabriel’s leg. He ducks an enziguri, but misses with an elbow drop. Kidd tags in and hits Sandow with a kick to the face before nailing a springboard seated dropkick. A pair of kicks by Kidd, followed by a seated dropkick to the side of the head for 2. Kidd goes for a slingshot sunset flip, but Sandow holds onto the ropes and tags in Rhodes. As Kidd is locking in the Sharpshooter, Rhodes nails him with the Beautiful Disaster for 3.
WINNERS: The Rhodes Scholars.
In Booker T’s office, he’s complimenting Eve Torres on a job well done. Teddy Long enters and wants to tell Booker T about the idea he and Sheamus came up with. Eve claims she’s had that same idea since last week, saying Teddy is trying to take credit for her idea. Book says Teddy knows better than this, and he takes a walk with Eve. Teddy grabs Eve’s iPad and begins doing some sniffing around.
MATCH 3: The Big Show and Dolph Ziggler (w/Vickie Guerrero) vs. WWE Tag Team Champions Team Hell No! (Daniel Bryan and Kane) (non-title)
Bryan and Ziggler start the match. Ziggler takes Bryan down with a waistlock before smacking the back of his head. Ziggler with a side headlock, and a shoulder off the ropes. Crisscross ends with an armdrag into an armbar by Bryan. Ziggler nails a dropkick off the ropes. Show tags in, so Bryan tags in Kane. They trade punches until Show drops Kane with a spear. Headbutts by Show, followed by some body blows. Show misses a corner charge, and Kane tags in Bryan. Bryan dropkicks the knee and hits the No! Kicks. Show blocks the Buzzsaw with his forearms and shoves Bryan down. Show gorilla presses Bryan to the floor as we go to commercials.
Ziggler is the legal man as we’re re-joining the match. He sends Bryan head-first into Show’s boot before standing on Bryan for a 1-count. Ziggler hits another dropkick for 2. Foot choke as Show tags back in. He misses a chop in the corner, but connects with a headbutt. Hard corner whip by Show. He misses a charge, but rebounds quickly and looks for the chokeslam. Bryan counters into a nice DDT. Ziggler tags in and hits a neckbreaker. A series of elbow drops follow, and the Show Off Elbow gets 2. Show back in now, and he applies a claw to Bryan’s ribs. Bryan breaks free, but runs right into a sidewalk slam. Ziggler tags in, but Bryan manages to fight his way out of the corner. Ziggler misses a corner splash, and Kane tags in. Kane hits the top rope clothesline. He hits a pair of corner clotheslines and goes for a sidewalk slam. Ziggler spins out and looks for the rocker dropper, but Kane sidesteps the move and lands a big boot for 2. Sidewalk slam connects on the second attempt, and he looks for the chokeslam. Bryan tags himself in and hits a running clothesline, followed by the corner dropkick. Up top, he jumps off right into the hand of Show. Kane runs in and boots Show to the floor. Bryan locks in the No! Lock, and gets the tap-out.
WINNERS: Team Hell No! Very fun tag team match here. Kane and Bryan continue to fight over who the champion is on the stage, when The Rhodes Scholars attack them from behind. They knock Kane to the floor before stomping on Bryan repeatedly.
Before the next match, we see Antonio Cesaro getting acquainted with Memphis, TN, where the show is taking place from tonight. We see him outside of Sun Studio, talking about the legendary musicians who recorded there. This turns into a slam on rednecks and “hillbilly music”. He says the studio should be demolished, and it’s not part of his America.
MATCH 4: Ted DiBiase vs. WWE United States Champion Antonio Cesaro (non-title)
I had almost forgotten Ted still worked here. Side headlock by Cesaro, and a shoulderblock off the ropes. Crisscross ends in a dropkick by Ted, and he follows up with a crucifix into a sunset flip for 1. Cesaro backdrops him to the floor, and Cesaro follows, where he hits a hotshot onto the ring apron. Back in the ring, Cesaro hits a clothesline for 2. Lifting gutwrench suplex gets another 2. Cesaro immediately locks in a cravat, but Ted fights out, hitting the misdirection clothesline. Running knee, and a rydeen bomb gets 2. Ted jumps off the middle rope, right into a Very European Uppercut. Neutralizer ends it.
WINNER: Antonio Cesaro.
The 3 Man Band is in the ring. Heath Slater calls them the greatest group in history. Drew McIntyre screams their name, and Slater refers to them as “3MB”. Jinder Mahal says they make beautiful music and rule the day…so let’s watch Heath Slater beat up Brodus Clay.
MATCH 5: Heather Slater (w/Jinder Mahal and Drew McIntyre) vs. Brodus Clay (w/The Funkadactyls)
Clay shakes off some punches before hitting a few of his own. He grabs Slater by the arms and begins headbutting him between the shoulder blades. Modified exploder suplex by Clay, and a jumping elbow drop gets 2. Slater blocks a corner charge and hits a middle rope missile dropkick for 2. Slater goes for a front chancery, and Clay throws him off. Pair of clotheslines by Clay, followed by the exploder suplex. Running headbutt drops Slater, and he signals for Ah, Funk It! Mahal and Drew jump on the apron for the distraction, which allows Slater to kick Clay in the knee, and a forward Ace Crusher gets the 3.
WINNER: Heath Slater. He needs to name his finisher.
Matt Striker is in the locker room with Wade Barrett. He asks Barrett about the lumberjack match tonight. Barrett says there is a notion Sheamus is a tough guy. He’s not sure of that, but he’s sure that Sheamus is very stupid. In less than 2 weeks, he has a huge match against The Big Show, and when in that situation, the last thing you want is a match with Wade Barrett, much less a lumberjack. Sheamus is saying, “I don’t even want to be World Champion anymore.” He’s doing Show a huge favor in destroying Sheamus, and he wants Show to remember that favor when he wins the title, because Barrett wants it repaid.
Eve Torres is on commentary for the next match.
MATCH 6: Natalya vs. Layla
Nattie kicks Layla in the stomach, but Layla counters a powerslam into a roll-up. Nattie keeps rolling through, as does Layla, resulting in Nattie being thrown to the floor. Layla dropkicks her through the ropes, then tries to get in Eve’s face. Nattie clubs her from behind before getting the match back in the ring. Nattie locks in an abdominal stretch. Layla counters the move with an armdrag, and a modified victory roll gets 2. Nattie hits the discus clothesline for 2. Layla rebounds and nails the roundhouse for 3.
In the back, Kaitlyn is approached by Teddy Long, who still has Eve’s iPad. He’s showing her something, and Kaitlyn can’t believe it. Eve has to be stopped, and as far as Teddy’s concerned, Kaitlyn can do whatever she wants with this information. Kaitlyn takes a couple pics of what’s on the screen before telling Teddy to return the iPad to where he found it before Eve finds out.
MATCH 7-Lumberjack Match: Wade Barrett vs. World Champion Sheamus (non-title)
Barrett starts off by throwing punches and kicks in the corner. Sheamus fires off a few shots before Barrett comes back with a headbutt. Antonio Cesaro tries to trip Sheamus, allowing Barrett to hit a mule kick. Barrett stomps Sheamus down before hitting a pumphandle slam for 1. He ties Sheamus up in the ropes before booting him to the floor. The heels roll Sheamus back in, where Barrett gets 1. Sheamus tries to fight back from his knees, so Barrett kicks him in the head. Barrett hits a series of knee lifts and a short-arm clothesline. Sheamus counters a corner charge and gets in a few shots, but Barrett quickly goes back on offense and sends Sheamus sternum-first into the ‘buckles for 2. Commercials.
WINNER: Sheamus. As Sheamus is celebrating, Dolph Ziggler gets in the ring and hits the Zig Zag. He goes to cash in his case, but The Big Show knocks him out with a WMD before that can happen. Show gets on the stage and grabs a microphone. He tells Sheamus to look long and hard at Ziggler. At HIAC, that’s going to be Sheamus’ fate. He’s going to knock Sheamus out and take the title.
End of show.
Good episode tonight. The tag team match was fun, and I really enjoyed the main event.
As always, feel free to follow me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/xdustineflx, and if you like Married…With Children, you can follow my Al Bundy parody account at http://www.twitter.com/bundyisms. Also follow my personal blog at http://nerdslikeme.blogspot.com (feedback is welcome). Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out my mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:
Thanks for reading, and I’ll see you next week.
© 2012, Camel Clutch Blog. All rights reserved.