This week’s Impact opens up with Sting making his way out, and he’s accompanied by Kurt Angle. He says he’s showing up on June 2nd at Slammiversary as the #1 contender for the World title. Bully Ray concocted a plan to deceive everyone, and he succeeded, ending with the World title. Sting wants to strip Ray of his power by taking the title, but he doesn’t want to wait until June 2nd. He asked Hulk Hogan if he could assemble a team to face Aces and Eights tonight, and was granted that. They’re going against Aces and Eights in Tupelo, Mississippi, and he didn’t want the best; he wanted the best of the best, and that’s why he went with Kurt Angle. Angle says he was deceived like everyone else, but last week, he made D’Lo scream “I quit”. That’s just the beginning. He confronted AJ Styles last week about joining their team. So, now he’d like AJ to come out right now to ask him a question.
AJ makes his way out, and Angle says they’re ready for war. So, is he going to join them in the fight against Aces and Eights? AJ simply stares as Angle tries to get an answer, then says he’s sick and tired of asking. Now, he’s demanding AJ answer a question. Sting steps between them and tells AJ he’s been in his shoes and hid in the rafters. AJ doesn’t he have to hide; he just has to do the right thing. A and E is taking apart TNA, and TNA needs AJ Styles. The roar from the crowd is “The house that AJ Styles built”. He knows AJ wants to do the right thing and be in the 6-man later tonight, so let’s make it happen. Sting extends a hand, and AJ doesn’t respond. Angle grabs the mic and screams in AJ’s face that he’s either with them or against them. AJ silently walks away on this note as Angle continues screaming. Angle follows him up the ramp and gets in AJ’s face, which leads to a brawl between the two until referees come out to split them up. Meanwhile, Mr. Anderson and Team 3-D hit the ring. Anderson nails Sting from behind, and Ray/Devon hit the 3-D. Angle sees what’s going on and chases A and E off as Sting is left laying.
AI stops AJ as he’s trying to leave the building, asking if he’s going to leave these guys high and dry. AJ stares at him, then storms out of the building.
James attacks Kim with forearms, a pair of clotheslines and a dropkick. More forearms until Jesse trips James from the outside. Kim stomps her down and throws her to the corner. She goes to tag in Tara, but she’s making out with Jesse. Eventually, she makes the tag, and Tara begins slamming James’ face into the mat. She sets up the tree of woe and hits a baseball slide to the face. Kim tags herself in as Tara makes out with Jesse and hits some forearms to the face. Corner clothesline by Kim, but James begins fighting back with forearms. Kim blocks the Tunacanrana but takes a roundhouse to the face. Tara and Sky tag in. Sky hits a pair of jumping clotheslines, a kick and a running neckbreaker for 2. She sets up In Yo Face, but Kim runs interference. Sky throws her to the outside into Jesse, then hits In Yo Face on Tara for the 3.
WINNERS: Mickie James and Velvet Sky. Kim gets back in the ring and is giving Tara the business. After a couple of shoves, Kim hits a short-arm clothesline, then drags Tara to the ring post for the figure-4. ODB manages to pull Kim off after not too long.
A and E are celebrating the 3-D on Sting in the back. They talk about AJ for a moment until D’Lo Brown walks in. He didn’t know about the get-together right now. Bully Ray tells him there will be another one in the ring later, and D’Lo’s invited to that one.
We see Bad Influence enter James Storm’s locker room, presenting to him a six-pack of beer. They brought him the beer to remind him of what happened between Storm and Bobby Roode not long ago, and Daniels then says Storm should form a three-man team with them.
A and E make their way out through the crowd, with D’Lo Brown all the way at the end of the line. Pretty sure we all know where this is going. Bully Ray says we should know who the hell they are by now. They are the Aces and Eights. Tonight, he and his brother Devon, along with Mr. Anderson, will stand in this ring and take on Kurt Angle, Sting and their big mystery partner. We know damn well it isn’t going to be AJ Styles, as he’s finally starting to “see the light”. Who else is left to be hero? Whoever it is, don’t do it. You don’t want any part of A and E. And that brings him to his main point of business, that being D’Lo Brown. A couple of weeks ago, D’Lo disgraced the club and his brothers. Ray is going to make this short and sweet: take off your colors right now. Take off that “cut” and put it in his hands right now. D’Lo tells him no. Ray reminds him he’s the President of the club, then demands D’Lo’s colors. D’Lo says his “cut” is his life. No. Mr. Anderson gets in D’Lo’s face and begins screaming at him. Ray reminds him he said “I quit”, which means he quit on everybody. He let himself down, and now he’s going to cry about it like a bitch. How are you going to earn your stripes back? D’Lo says he knows Magnus has a match tonight, and he wants to kick Magnus’ ass. Ray tells him he’s going to sit next to the time keeper as DOC kicks Magnus’ ass, and he better hope DOC gets the job done if he ever wants to wear his colors again.
MATCH 2: DOC (w/D’Lo Brown) vs. Magnus
Match goes to commercial before it starts. When it comes back, DOC reverses a corner whip before running into a boot. Magnus comes off the middle rope, but jumps right into a big boot. DOC fires off some body blows in the corner, knocking him to the mat. DOC sends Magnus into the corner, hits an avalanche and a clothesline for 2. DOC applies a rear chinlock, but Magnus fights out. DOC cuts him off with a knee, then hits a suplex before firing off some rights to the face. DOC claws at Magnus’ face in the ropes, then boots him in the chest. Magnus blocks a pair of corner charges, dodges another one, hits a clothesline and a running boot. Magnus connects with the misdirection clothesline, then goes up top for the elbow. DOC is back up, and he nails an uppercut before climbing to the middle rope for a superplex. Magnus throws him off and hits the flying elbow drop for 2. D’Lo causes a distraction and drags Magnus to the floor. Magnus sends him into the steps and gets back in the ring, and DOC hits a fireman’s carry into a flapjack for 2. Back up, Magnus counters an Irish whip, and D’Lo accidentally grabs his foot, thinking it’s Magnus. Magnus uses the distraction to roll DOC up in a small package for 3.
WINNER: Magnus. DOC storms off through the crowd after laying into D’Lo.
We see DOC and D’Lo enter the back, where A and E are waiting for him. Bully Ray lays into D’Lo, then tells the rest of the group to hold him down. All of a sudden, I’m reminded of Heidenreich molesting Michael Cole. Ray continues to lay into him, then threatens to cave his skull in with a hammer. Anderson stops him and says he has a better idea. Why don’t they give D’Lo a job he can do? Ray agrees, telling him he’ll be getting beer and washing bikes, as he’s now just a prospect.
Sting and Kurt Angle are in Hulk Hogan’s office. Hulk is volunteering for the main event, and both Sting & Angle know he can’t and the doctor says so. Hulk says they’re right, but he has some new information. He got a call from some guy, and if this guy is in, he’s going to surprise everyone. Sting points out he said, “if”, which means it’s not concrete. Sting says Magnus just beat DOC, and they should go with him. Hulk agrees.
We see Bobby Roode and Austin Aries in the back. They’re talking about how to appeal to Storm, then approach him with a gift of beer. Bobby Roode then tells him he was always jealous of Storm because he was the face of Beer Money, and the only reason he won the World title was by breaking a beer bottle over Storm’s head. Storm takes the beer and tells Roode that Aries beating him for the title wasn’t a fluke.
MATCH 3-Winners become the new #1 contenders for the World Tag Team Championships: Austin Aries and Bobby Roode vs. Bad Influence (Christopher Daniels and Kazarian) (special referee: James Storm)
Christy Hemme introduces Aries and Roode as Bad Influence when they come out, and Aries is standing on the stage, understandably confused. He then gets in Christy’s face and orders her to introduce them right. Aries sticks his crotch in her face as she’s doing it, and she starts laughing on the mic. She then introduces their opponents as “THE Bad Influence”, proving once again she sucks at her job. Kaz and Aries start with a lock-up. Kaz reverses into an armbar, and Aries counters into an arm wringer. Kaz counters into his own, then trips Aries. Back up, we get another lock up, and Aries hits a series of moves before just toying with Kaz and taunting him in the corner. Another lock-up, and Aries backs Kaz into the corner before accusing Kaz of pulling his hair. Each man ducks a punch, and they both rake the eyes at the same time. Both guys go to the apron, temporarily blinded while looking for a tag. Roode and Daniels tag in now, shake hands, then boot each other in the gut. Roode eventually hits a shoulder off the ropes but misses an elbow. Daniels comes back with his own shoulder, then hits a palm thrust to the face. Roode knocks him down with a clothesline, hits a pair of Venis kneelifts and follows up with a side-Russian legsweep for 1. Daniels fights back, but gets hit with a neckbreaker after Aries knees him in the back from the apron. Snapmare out of the corner and Aries tags in. Roode hits a rolling neck snap on Daniels, and Aries follows up with a spinning European uppercut from the middle rope to the back of the head for 2. Aries hits an open-hand chop in the corner, and Roode tags in, choking Daniels with his boot. Roode throws Daniels onto the ramp, and Aries hits a double axe handle from the top before throwing Daniels back in the ring, where Roode covers him for 1 as Daniels gets a rope break. Kaz hits Roode in the back off the ropes, and Daniels sends him to the floor. Kaz hits Roode with a double axe handle from the apron, then stomps him down before rolling him back in the ring. Kaz tags in, and BI hit a series of double teams, ending with an elbow by Kaz for 2. Daniels drop toe-holds Roode, and Kaz hits a springboard legdrop for 2. Daniels tags in and goes for a move off the middle rope, but sends Kaz head-first into Daniels’ crotch, knocking them both down. Aries tags in and hits a running corner dropkick on Kaz, then fires off some rights on Daniels before hitting a rolling elbow. Aries goes for the brainbuster, but Daniels reverses into a roll-up. Aries blocks it and sends Daniels to the floor, nailing both members of BI with a wicked suicide dive. Daniels gets rolled back in, and Aries goes up top, mocking Chavo Guerrero in the process by hitting a frog splash for 2 as Kaz breaks it up. Roode comes in, and Kaz sends him to the floor. Aries goes for another rolling elbow, but BI blocks it into a double hip toss that they turn into a Villano Bomb for 2 as Roode breaks up the pin this time. Kaz goes for the Fade to Black on Roode, but Roode escapes and hits a spinebuster. Daniels hits Roode with a running STO, and Aries hits Daniels with a kneebreaker into a Saito suplex. Daniels goes to the corner and Aries charges in, but Daniels blocks with a boot. He goes for the Angel’s Wings, but Aries escapes and goes for the brainbuster. Daniels escapes again and rolls Aries up for a pin while holding the tights right in front of Storm. As a result, Storm won’t make a count. Daniels begins screaming at him, and Aries grabs a beer bottle. As Storm is looking away, Aries spits beer in Daniels’ face. He hands the bottle to Storm for a strike, but Storm drinks the beer instead. Aries shoves him, then taunts him. Daniels comes in from behind, and as Daniels grabs Aries, Storm goes for the Last Call. Aries throws Daniels into the kick at the last second. Aries then demands Storm make the count, but Storm stops at 2 before nailing Aries with the Last Call. Roode and Kaz are both just standing on the outside. Storm just leaves the ring and his music plays, which I guess means that the match is over.
WINNER: No contest.
We see A and E assaulting Magnus in the back yet again. Pretty sure I’ve seen this plenty of times. This time, though, Magnus actually begins to fight back. He’s successful for a moment, but the numbers are too much. Magnus spits in DOC’s face, and DOC nails him with a trash can. They set him against a forklift and kick what looks like a pile of metal trashcan lids into his face. With his face obscured by the forklift, of course.
We get a Suicide video. Why in the hell did TNA have to dust off this gimmick? It didn’t work the first time. What makes them think it’ll work now?
Immediately after that is a video for Chris Sabin, who returned last week.
World X-Division Champion Kenny King makes his way out now. In case you don’t know, he is Kenny King, your X-Division Champion. How did he get the belt so quickly? Simple. Since he’s been here, he’s been fantastic. Spectacular. Maybe even exceptional. They don’t like that here, though. Instead of one man, he has to beat two men every time now. That’s fine, as he always beats the odds. However, that’s not why he’s here. He’s here to introduce someone who knows all about beating the odds, and that is the former 4-time champion, Chris Sabin. Sabin makes his way out, and King says it would mean a lot to everyone if Sabin just told us all a story right now. Sabin says it’s pretty simple. The past two years, he’s either been in physical rehab or his basement. King has no idea what it’s like to dedicate his life to something only to have it taken away. King also has no idea what kind of drive and fighting spirit lives in Chris Sabin. Sabin has nothing left to lose at this point, so each time he gets in the ring, he’s going to fight like it’s his last night on Earth. King needs to enjoy the title, because next week, Sabin’s taking it back. King basically echoes everything Sabin just said, then calls Sabin a champion in his eyes. It would mean a lot to him and everyone in the building if we could see Sabin to hold the belt up. King says he wants this because this is the closest Sabin will ever get to the title as long as King is still alive, sucka. He then calls Sabin “Frail Sabin”, and even with good ACLs, he’d never be able to hold a candle to King. Next week, King is going to reign golden showers on Sabin’s parade (his actual words), and there’s nothing Sabin can do about it, because he’s the champ. Now give him back the belt. Sabin folds up the belt, drops it, then nails King with a right, sending him to the floor. As Sabin’s music hits, Todd Keneley makes a reference to R. Kelly. Obviously, I’m not the only one who noticed King didn’t think his promo all the way through.
The cameras cut to the back, and James Storm is laid out on the floor with both BI and Aries/Roode surrounding him, screaming.
Next week, the BFG Series returns. One spot will go to a Gut Check contestant as Sam Shaw, Alex Silva, Christian York and Jay Bradley will compete in a 4-man tournament for the spot.
We see Bully Ray with A and E in the back. He says not everyone is happy with the treatment of D’Lo Brown, but he had to do what was best for the club, and there is no room for the weak. Brown quit, so he’s now at the bottom ladder. Knux asks if there’s anything for D’Lo to do tonight. Ray says to have him make sure the beer is cold and the bikes are washed because when they’re done, they’re going out to look for women.
In Hulk’s office, Kurt Angle begins heading to the ring, saying they’re out of options. Sting follows him, and Hulk is back on the phone with the mystery person, telling him it’s now or never.
MATCH 4: Kurt Angle, Sting and a Mystery Partner vs. Mr. Anderson and Team 3-D (World Champion Bully Ray and World Television Champion Devon)
Sting and Angle come out by themselves, so we should expect the partner a bit later. I’m guessing it’ll be Jeff Hardy. Angle and Devon start by trading punches. Devon gets the best of the exchange. Angle comes back with a back elbow and an overhead belly-to-belly suplex. Ray tags in and he begins dropping elbows and double axe handles on Angle. Angle ducks a chop in the corner and hits a deep armdrag into an armbar. Ray backs him into a corner to break it and misses another chop. Lather, rinse repeat. Angle turns the armbar into an arm wringer and tags Sting in. Sting is once again wrestling in a t-shirt, which means he’s not in good shape. Anderson tags in and fires off some rights. Sting comes back with an inverted atomic drop and a dropkick. Anderson rolls to the apron, and as he gets back in, Sting crotches him with the middle rope. Angle back in, and he sends Anderson into the corner. He stomps Anderson down, then sends him into the opposite corner. Anderson comes back with a kneelift and tags in Devon. Devon sends Angle into a clothesline by Ray from the apron before nailing Angle with a straight right. Devon hits a Snapmare for 2, and they go back to trading punches. Angle gets the best of it until Devon rakes the eyes and sends Angle into Ray’s boot. Ray tags in and hits a trio of avalanches. Devon back in, and Angle dodges a double back body drop, but gets hit with 3-D #2. The camera cuts to the back, and we see the rest of A and E laid out in the back. Commercials.
All of a sudden, Abyss’ music hits, and Joseph Park…er, Abyss makes his way down. He takes Devon and Ray down with a clotheslines and punches before hitting avalanches on them. He boots both men down, then chokeslams Anderson through the table. For whatever reason, the ref doesn’t call for the bell. Abyss his the Black Hole Slam on Devon and gets the 3.
WINNERS: Abyss, Kurt Angle and Sting.
End of show.
Dustin Nichols is a freelance writer, and you can keep track of all of his work on his Facebook page, which can be found at www.facebook.com/DustinNicholsWriter. Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out his mom’s official site by clicking the banner below: