TNA Impact Wrestling opens with Aces and Eights entering the building and being stopped by security. Bully Ray isn’t impressed and tells them to get out of their way, or “Mr. A#$hole” will bite their faces off. Uh, yeah…
We’re apparently in Indiana, PA this week. In the arena, James Storm makes his way out. Storm is limping from AJ Styles’ “Calf Killer” from last week. Yes, that’s the name for AJ’s new finisher. Storm talks about fighting AJ last week, and we see AJ standing in the crowd. Storm tells him the new hold hurt like hell, and he can also admit AJ was the better man. However, he’s not going to cry over spilt milk because he’s a beer drinker. What he didn’t sign up for last week was the “Aces and Idiots” that jumped him from behind. If they wanted a fight, all they had to do was ask. He knows if he calls one of them out, all of them will come out. That’s fine. Bring all you want, because he’ll take you out.
Bad Influence make their way out. Christopher Daniels says BI wants to weigh in. Last week, they were victims of A and E as well. Hulk Hogan doesn’t have an answer to this problem. However, the two smartest men in the room know the answer. Aces and Eights has been playing a numbers game. TNA has the magic number, and that’s four, as in “Fourtune”. Kazarian tells AJ that life can be better, and first off is forgiving himself for his cheap shots on them last week. They forgive him. The next step is to walk down the stairs, get in the ring and reform Fourtune tonight, because it’s the right thing to do. Storm says the fans want BI to shut the hell up. Kaz won’t shut up because the people don’t concern them. Just like these people, Storm is irrelevant. He starts brawling with BI until Kaz absolutely botches a Golden Globes spot in the corner. AJ is still staring on as A and E come through the crowd into the ring. BI have left, and Storm is alone in the ring. They surround him and Mr. Anderson grabs him in the powerbomb position as the other members bring a table into the ring. Joesph Park runs down and takes down a couple members of the group until they gang-attack him. D’Lo Brown sets the table back up, and DOC & Knux go to double chokeslam him. Bully Ray tells them to back off so he and Devon can hit the 3D through the table, which they do.
According to Mike Tenay, Hulk Hogan has left the building and didn’t tell anyone why.
Video for tonight’s Knockouts Championship match with comments from Mickie James. She talks about being tired of being ignored in TNA. Just a thought, but maybe if she wasn’t off recording awful country music that no one likes, maybe she wouldn’t get ignored.
AI sees Hulk Hogan entering the building, and asks him where he went. Hulk ignores him.
MATCH 1: Taryn Terrell vs. Tara
Taryn ducks a clothesline and hits some forearms, followed by a corner clothesline and a flipping neckbreaker. Pair of hairmares by Taryn, and she then rams Tara’s head into the top turnbuckle until Tara hits her with a Stun Gun. Tara slams Taryn’s face into the mat a few times, then hair-whips her across the ring. Catapult in the corner by Tara, and she goes back to slamming Taryn’s face into the mat. Tara applies an inverted STF, then snaps back to break the hold and goes for the cover, getting 2. Another pin, and another 2-count. Taryn blocks a back body drop, but runs right into a tree slam. Taryn fights back from her knees until Tara forearms in the back of the head, getting 2. She rolls Taryn over for another pin, getting 2 once more. Tara rolls Taryn under the bottom rope and catapults her into the rope for another 2. Tara once again goes for an immediate second pin attempt, then does it again. Bodyslam near the ropes, but Tara misses the Arabian Facebuster. Taryn fights out of the corner and hair-whips Tara, hits a clothesline, a back elbow and a suplex. Up top, Taryn misses a cross-body, and Tara begins with the trash-talk. She picks Taryn up in the Spider’s Web, which connects. Taryn counters the standing moonsault into a schoolgirl and gets 3.
WINNER: Taryn Terrell.
Robbie T is in the back texting someone. Didn’t know he still worked here. Jesse enters the room, and he’s apparently taking on Rob Terry. E verbally fellates Jesse and tells him that, when he beats Terry, he’ll go down as one of the greatest bros of all time, and E will be there right by his side.
Before the next match, Robbie E comes out to introduce the man who will beat Rob Terry, bro. He’s a real Hollywood superstar unlike all of the hamsters in Indiana, PA: “Mr. Pec-Tacular”, Jesse Godderz, bro.
MATCH 2: Rob Terry vs. Jesse (w/Robbie E)
Terry immediately hits a pair of clotheslines and a back elbow. Corner whip into a running powerslam by Terry, but he drops Jesse as E jumps up on the apron. Jesse charges in, and Terry goozles him and backs him to a corner before throwing him across the ring. E jumps on the apron again as Terry charges in, and Jesse hits him from behind with some kicks and elbows. He tries to throw Terry into the corner, but Terry blocks it and throws him in for some forearm shots. He misses a running elbow, and Jesse hits a dropkick. Jesse hits some forearms to the chest and gets a 1-count. Terry shoves him off, so he mounts the middle rope. Terry catches the cross-body attempt and hits an over-the-shoulder powerslam for 2 as E pulls at the referee’s leg. Terry goes outside and stalks E. Jesse tries to attack from behind, but Terry sees it coming and throws Jesse into E before pressing Jesse back into the ring. Terry hits the Freakbuster and gets 3.
WINNER: Rob Terry.
Bad Influence approach Bobby Roode in the locker room area. Kaz says there’s only one way to stop A and E, and that’s Fourtune. They were a dominant faction, and that dominance was taken away from them. Daniels cuts in and says that no one knows AJ better than him. If the three of them stand together, there’s no way AJ can say “no” to them. Think about it. The camera pans over, and we see that Austin Aries has been eavesdropping on the conversation.
Video package for Chris Sabin, who is set to return any time now. I just hope he took enough time away this time. If you recall last time, he was out with an injured knee, came back, and injured it again only a couple of weeks after his return.
We see Aries and Roode warming up in the back. Aries asks Roode about the Fourtune reunion. If Roode wants to do that, that’s his business. They’re not best friends; just dominant champions. If Fourtune was so great, how come they vanished? If BI are so great, how come Aries was the man who beat Roode? Tonight, he wants the tag belts back, and if Roode doesn’t want to work with him, he’s screwing himself.
MATCH 3-World Tag Team Championship: Chavo Guerrero and Hernandez (Champions) vs. Austin Aries and Bobby Roode
Christopher Daniels is on commentary for this match, with Kazarian at his side. Aries and Chavo start the match, and the crowd is not even remotely into the champions. Lock-up to start, with Aries going into an arm wringer. Chavo counters into a snapmare, goes for the pin, and we get a stalemate immediately. Aries applies a side headlock into a waistlock takedown, then shows off a bit before Chavo dropkicks him. Chavo hits a European uppercut, then fires off some rights in the corner. Aries gets sent hard into the opposite corner, and Chavo hits a back suplex for 2. Chavo ducks a clothesline and goes for a headscissors, and Aries counters into a pancake. Roode reluctantly tags in and gets hit with a hiptoss. Hernandez in, and they do their bodyslam/Warrior Splash spot for 2. Hernandez goes for a suplex off a back body drop attempt, but Hernandez counters into a delayed vertical. Aries comes in and chops Hernandez, so Hernandez Warrior Presses him before heading outside to the ramp. He goes for Air Mexico, but Roode moves out of the way and Hernandez eats canvas. Roode gets 2 off a pin, then throws Hernandez to the corner for some punches and kicks. Aries tags in as Roode hits a suplex, and Aries hits a tope con hilo for 2. Back up, Aries boxes the ears and tags in Roode. Hernandez tries to fight out of the corner, but Roode cuts him off and hits a pair of Venis kneelifts, followed by a side-Russian legsweep for 2. Aries tags in and stomps Hernandez in the chest as Roode holds him in a modified surfboard. Aries applies a front chancery, then breaks it to knock Chavo to the floor. Roode back in, and sends Aries in for the corner dropkick. Hernandez catches him, however, and then sends him to the corner. Chavo tags in and hits a tope con hilo on Aries, followed by a spinning headscissors on Roode. Chavo goes for the 3 Amigos, but Aries escapes the second suplex. Chavo comes back with a rolling kick, then hits a tornado DDT on Roode for 2 as Aries breaks it up. Hernandez comes in and clotheslines Aries to the floor. He goes for the Border Toss on Roode as Chavo climbs to the top. Kaz causes a distraction as Aries pushes Chavo off the top. In the ring, Roode hits a spinebuster on Hernandez, and now Aries goes up top. Hernandez kicks Roode off into the corner, which sends Aries crashing to the floor. Hernandez goes for the Border Toss on Roode once more as Kaz is back up on the apron. Daniels slides into the ring and kicks Hernandez. He goes for a clothesline, but Hernandez ducks, causing Daniels to collide with Roode. Hernandez sends Daniels to the floor, and Chavo hits a frog splash on Roode for the 3.
WINNERS AND STILL CHAMPIONS: Chavo Guerrero and Hernandez.
AI approaches Matt Morgan in the weight room. Morgan recites the same promo he always does. He then says he has a solution to the A and E problem, and he’s going out to the ring to tell everyone what it is.
Matt Morgan comes out and says his issues over the last year have been about one issue (?): Mistakes made by Hulk Hogan. He then lists off Hulk’s mistakes. Bully Ray won the title, A and E are stronger than ever, and the company is imploding around Hulk. Sting was ejected from TNA, and now, Jeff Hardy has been laid out. You see, Hulk, before you come out and go face-to-face with Bully Ray, allow Morgan to present to you the ultimate solution to all of your problems. I hope he’s not talking about Jeep Swenson. Hulk Hogan comes out. Morgan tells Hulk he has no more backup, so by going out against Ray by himself, he’s delaying the inevitable, which is that A and E are going to destroy him. Hulk has no one left, so Morgan presents the solution: himself. Hulk, at the end of the day, no one wants this opportunity more than him. No one on this roster can eliminate A and E better than him. He is Hulk’s 7’ knight in shining armor. And, if given the opportunity tonight, he will Carbon Footprint Ray’s head into the 5th row…for a small price, of course. Morgan is all Hulk has, so he’ll handle Ray, and in turn, Hulk names Morgan the #1 contender at Slammiversary. Hulk says Morgan has brought him up to the edge, and a lot of what is being said is true. Morgan has the goods to get the job done, and he probably could do it. At the end of the day though, he was hoping Morgan would do the right thing. Morgan stole his robe and has verbally abused him day-after-day. Hulk hoped Morgan would be the 2nd coming of “The Mania”, brother. At the end of the day, though, Morgan wants to do it for the wrong reason. If he agrees to Morgan’s demands, it’ll be a bigger mistake than what happened with Ray. At the end of the day, he’s going to step into the ring with Ray and do this by himself. He’s not going to hand over anything to Morgan, and he never heard Andre the Giant whine like a bitch.
We see A and E in the back somewhere, celebrating taking out Joseph Park. Ray then says Hulk is held together by spit and glue and wants to go face-to-face with Ray. He then tells the rest of the group that he doesn’t want them out there with him.
Now, TNA is doing this where fans can vote who will be involved in the next triple threat match for the X-Division championship. The three options are just wonderful: Rashad Cameron, Rockstar Spud and Suicide. Yes, they’re trying to dust off that pile of crap gimmick again. Guess they didn’t learn from the fact that basing a character on a character from one of the worst wrestling games of all time wasn’t a good idea.
MATCH 4-Knockouts Championship: Mickie James vs. Velvet Sky (Champion)
Lock-up, with Sky going into an armbar. James counters into an armdrag for 1, then applies an arm wringer. Sky flips through and trips James for 1. James dodges a dropkick and gets 1 off a pin. Sky applies a side headlock, then shoulders James off the ropes. Crisscross ends in a Snapmare by Sky, followed by a kick to the back and a seated dropkick for 2. Sky hits some forearms and shoulder thrusts in the corner. James counters a whip, and Sky leaps over her back to avoid the charge. However, she acts like her knee hurts, and James goes for the pin, getting 2. James then applies a step-over toehold as we go to commercials.
Back from the break, James has Sky in a legbar, then yanks on the knee before going back to the toehold. Sky rolls up and counters into her own, and James counters into a sloppy STF. Sky breaks the hold with the ropes, then kicks James off. Sky elbows out of the corner, hits a pair of jumping clotheslines, then remembers to sell her knee. Some chops to the chest, but James blocks them and goes for a corner whip. Sky collapses to the mat before she gets to the corner. She blocks a roll-up attempt and hits a side-Russian legsweep for 2. James gets back up, kicks the bad knee and botches an enziguri. Up top, James hits a Thesz Press for 2. Sky gets back up, boots James in the stomach and goes for In Yo Face, but James counters into a back body drop. James boots Sky in the stomach and goes for the standing tornado, but Sky pushes her off into the corner. James dropkicks the bad knee, then goes for a roll-up, but Sky counters into her own roll-up for the 3, despite the fact that James was in the ropes.
WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: Velvet Sky.
We see Devon and Bully Ray in the back, and Ray tells Devon he’s done with Brooke, so Devon can have her. He reminds Devon they’re the greatest team of all time and are both now singles champions, leading a pack of wolves. He took out Jeff Hardy last week, and Hardy may be done for good. In a few minutes, he’s going to look straight into his father-in-law’s soul, and he’s going to be the guy who puts the final nail in the coffin of Hulkamania.
Brooke and Hulk Hogan are in the back, and Brooke is trying to talk Hulk out of going to the ring. Hulk says Bully Ray screwed over their family and the business, and he needs to stop it. Brooke reminds him he just had a knee replacement a few weeks ago, and that he can’t do this. Hulk tells her she can’t stop this, then asks for her hand and gives her his necklace, saying he’ll be right back.
End of show.
As always, feel free to follow me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/xdustineflx ,and if you like Married…With Children, you can follow my Al Bundy parody account at http://www.twitter.com/bundyisms. Also follow my personal blog at http://nerdslikeme.blogspot.com (feedback is welcome). Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out my mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:
Thanks for reading, and as long as Spike TV still fronts the bill, I’ll see you next week.Aces & Eights, AJ Styles, Austin Aries, Bobby Roode, Bully Ray, Chavo Guerrero Jr., Christopher Daniels, Devon, Hernandez, hulk hogan, Impact Wrestling, James Storm, Kazarian, Kenny King, Kurt Angle, Magnus, Matt Morgan, Mickie James, Rob Terry, Samoa Joe, Tara, Taryn Terrell, TNA Wrestling