My favorite part of the pro wrestling business has always been a great promo. Growing up as a fan in the 1980s you were inundated with them. That is why today I celebrate the pro wrestling promo and look back at the best mic men of all time.

WWE.com put out a list of great promos last year. It got me to thinking about my memories of watching pro wrestling as a fan and tape trader in the 1980s. So without even taking one look at the WWE list I thought it would be fun to sit back and put a list together of my own…WWE politic-free!

It is hard for fans today to understand how important the art of the promo used to be. There were no such things as scripts or script writers. These great talkers came out, grabbed the microphone, and delivered a cacophony of threats, jokes, and promises, and talked thousands of people into paying their hard earned money to either watch them get revenge or watch them get the beating they deserve. It was what made or broke you as a top draw in pro wrestling. That was the difference between these guys and what fans may consider a great promo today.

This list is in no particular order or rank. The list comes after watching endless hours of pro wrestling as a kid through local TV and tape trading. Thanks to You Tube fans can now appreciate these great promo men, decades after their words helped plenty of butts into the local arenas. So without any further a due let’s take a look back at the greatest mic men in pro wrestling history.

Austin Idol - He probably isn’t the first guy you think of when you think of the greatest pro wrestling promo men of all time but that is only because you probably haven’t seen him…Jack! Idol is one of my favorite promo men of all time. His promos in Memphis, TN as a babyface or a heel are still some of the best in the history of the business.Hopefully the WWE buys the Memphis Wrestling library someday so everyone can see the greatness of the Universal Heartthrob.

Jerry Lawler - Before the King became a corny WWE character he ruled the Memphis territory with his two fists. During that time, the King was able to draw 10,000 fans per weekend (at the height of the territory) to see him get revenge on whomever the unlucky villain was that laid out Lawler the week before. The one thing I always loved about Lawler’s promos in Memphis is that he came across as genuine and not just some loud pro wrestler yelling about what he was going to do to his opponents.The money this man’s mouth drew makes him one of the greatest of all time in my opinion.

Roddy Piper - There are two different Roddy Pipers. The one before Piper turned babyface in 1986 and the legendary Piper who delivered some of the greatest promos in pro wrestling history on a weekly basis from 1975-1986. Piper’s promos in San Francisco, Portland, Georgia Championship Wrestling, Mid-Atlantic, and his heel WWF stint were genius. I could sit back and watch hours of Piper promos on You Tube and find myself wanting more when they are over. I also dare anyone to watch a few hours of Piper as a color commentator in Georgia Championship Wrestling and not come away thinking Piper was the greatest heel/color commentator in pro wrestling history…but that is for a different top ten.

Ric Flair - Wooo! The Nature Boy! It is impossible to put this kind of list together without including the great Ric Flair. I think what stands out about Flair over anyone on this list is longevity when it comes to promos. Most of these guys had a point in their career where they peaked and their promos were never as good as their early days. For Flair, he continues to deliver some of the best promos in the business. I grew up watching Flair cut promos on TBS every week and thought he was a legend. Even as a babyface Flair could knock them out of the park, yet his heel promos are where he was in his wheel house.

Magnificent Muraco - If I was ranking this list Muraco would be way at the top. For me, Don Muraco was the greatest promo man of all-time. I grew up watching Muraco cut promos every week on WWF television on everyone from Pedro Morales, to Chief Jay Strongbow, to Bob Backlund, to Jimmy Snuka and they were all the most entertaining promos I ever heard. His promos always had somewhat of a “shooty” aspect to them and he always gave fans a great reason to pay $15 to watch him get his butt kicked. The Rock has credited Muraco for influencing his promos. It is a shame more pro wrestlers didn’t learn promos from this legend.

Dusty Rhodes - Like the majority of wrestlers on this list, there are two different versions of Dusty Rhodes. There is the Dusty Rhodes who was booked as the top star of a territory (by himself most of the time) and the Dusty who was a bit player in his later years. I can’t think of many babyfaces that were able to envoke as much passion and intensity from pro wrestling fans as Dusty Rhodes. There was just something about Dusty Rhodes that made you relate to him and made you want to see him get his revenge. I know that “Hard Times” is a classic but as a kid I was watching promos like that almost every week from the American Dream.

Captain Lou Albano - For me, Muraco and Captain Lou are neck and neck as far as the greatest promo men in the history of the business. I would almost give the nod to Albano for the fact that he was able to draw so much money as a heel manager for Bruno Sammartino and Bob Backlund’s challengers. Like Muraco, there is a real funny comedic side to Albano’s promos that even as a kid I appreciated. Go back and watch them now on You Tube and while the great Captain probably couldn’t say half of what he said in this current politically correct environment, you can certainly see the humorous side that Lou had to his promos. That was probably because he delivered more than half of his promos intoxicated.

Superstar Billy Graham - Thanks to You Tube I have really grown to appreciate the great Superstar. If you look at the big picture and take note of all of the great promo men that Billy Graham influenced, there is no way you can walk away from this list without recognizing his ability to talk fans into the seats. He influenced the greats like Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair, and Dusty Rhodes by bringing his Muhammad Ali-ish brand of rhyme and arrogance to the microphone. The WWE DVD on the Superstar was a great reminder of how talented this man was for his time period.

The Rock - I went back and forth on this one. I grew up watching pro wrestling in the 1980s and I saw a lot of great promo men. But there is something that still gets me every time The Rock is on television with a microphone. Beleieve me, he went through a period in my opinion in which his promos got stale. However, his rebirth as “Hollywood” Rock during his last full time run produced some of the greatest promos in WWE history. Let’s face it. He didn’t become one of the biggest WWE stars of all time on his wrestling. His mouth did the talking and his promos turned him into a megastar.

Steve Austin - If you really look at the guys mentioned on this list other than The Rock, Austin had a real small period where he delivered those great promos. However, those promos revolutionized the pro wrestling business and helped shoot it to heights that I don’t think will ever be achieved again. Austin’s critics will say that it is easy for anyone to get over using curse words. I disagree. There was an intensity and a realism that Austin brought to his promos which has never been matched since he left the WWE as a full-time performer. His stint as the head honcho on Tough Enough and those final moments at the end of every show were a great reminder as to how great Stone Cold was and still is as a mic man.

Honorable Mention: Paul Heyman, Hulk Hogan, Bobby Heenan, Tully Blanchard, Harley Race, Nick Bockwinkel, Randy Savage, Sgt. Slaughter, Bill Watts, Jake Roberts, J.J. Dillon, Jimmy Garvin, Michael Hayes, CM Punk, Raven, and Curt Hennig

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Every WWE superstar has a bad night, yet having a bad night on a WrestleMania will be remembered forever. Today I celebrate those off-nights and  look back at the ten worst WrestleMania main-events of all-time.

What constitutes a main-event? For the purposes of this article, I am looking at only the matches that closed WrestleMania events. Anything other than that would be subjective. For some guys that had clunkers on the undercard, they will avoid the dreaded top 10 list. Unfortunately others won’t be so lucky.

Of course this entire list is subjective to my opinion. Agree or disagree? Leave a comment after the blog and let me know.

The Undertaker vs. Psycho Sid for the WWE championship – WrestleMania XIII. The more and more I went through this list, the harder it got to find something worse than this. As bad as L.T. vs. Bigelow was, it was still better than this snoozer. I understand the matchup. On paper, it made sense. Yet in the ring, Vince McMahon couldn’t have booked a worse main-event. How ironic that the same WrestleMania would have both the worst main-event and greatest WrestleMania match in WWE history? Fortunately for these two guys, the show is remembered more for the classic than the dud on top.

Lawrence Taylor vs. Bam Bam Bigelow – WrestleMania XI. The funny thing is that I didn’t remember this match to be nearly as bad as its reputation. Yet after watching it again, I completely sympathize with the haters on this one. L.T.’s knees were completely shot by this point in his life and it showed. Believe it or not, he still put on a better performance than the Undertaker and Sid Eudy did at number 13.

Randy Orton vs. Triple H for the WWE championship – WrestleMania XXV. I still have nightmares over paying $50 to watch this match. The feud didn’t work, the storyline didn’t make a lot of sense, and these didn’t click whatsoever at WrestleMania 25. To be fair, they followed the Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker match in addition to an appearance by Steve Austin which had to be rough. But for whatever reason they could never get the crowd back. It wasn’t pretty and it truly was a low point in WrestleMania main-event history. The result certainly didn’t help this one either.

John Cena vs. The Miz for the WWE championship – WrestleMania XXVII. Fortunately for Triple H and Randy Orton, their nightmare is in the past while Cena vs. Miz is still remembered for the train wreck that it was at WrestleMania 27. I don’t know where to begin. They didn’t click and missed spots in the match, something you rarely see from Cena in a WrestleMania main-event. The crowd wasn’t buying The Miz as champion, they hated Cena, and waited impatiently for The Rock to return. He did and even giving Cena the Rock Bottom wasn’t enough to save this disaster.

Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant for the WWE championship – WrestleMania III. I know that this match is generally remembered as a classic but quite frankly, it was terrible. Andre was old, broken down, and could hardly move at this point in his career. Hogan was good enough to carry a passable match and the storyline helped masquerade the low points in the match. Unfortunately tape still exists of the match, we have all seen it by now, and it comes up real short by the standards of other WrestleMania headliners.

Triple H vs. The Rock vs. The Big Show vs. Mick Foley for the WWE championship – WrestleMania 2000. It really wasn’t that the match was horrible but it was just pure McMahon overkill at WrestleMania 2000. Throw in an out of shape Mick Foley who just retired a few months earlier and you have a main-event that should have never happened. Watching this back with a maximum overdose of McMahon distracted from any of the positives of this match.

Chris Jericho vs. Triple H for the undisputed championship – WrestleMania XVIII. You really have to feel for Chris Jericho here. The result was just way too predictable. The fans knew exactly what was going to happen and didn’t like it. The match also followed The Rock vs. Hulk Hogan, which sucked the emotions right out of the building. The dead crowd here is really the difference maker and no matter the reason, a main-event on WrestleMania that grab a crowd is a main-event that deserves criticism.

Bret Hart/Hulk Hogan vs. Yokozuna for the WWE championship – WrestleMania IX. I know that Bret Hart is remembered fondly for being one of the best of all-time, but he had a bad night in Las Vegas. I am sure the scenario with Hulk Hogan coming out to steal the heat and the title at the end didn’t help, but he wrestled the match like a guy who didn’t give a damn. His match with Yoko was not good, Hogan’s match with Yoko wasn’t that good, and the whole thing just fell flat.

Hulk Hogan vs. Psycho Sid – WrestleMania VIII. This was probably the first time as a teenager that I remember the WWE really starting to pass Hogan by. On an undercard full of promising young talent, Hogan and Slaughter had a match that appeared to be in slow motion. Shockingly the WWE pulled a scheduled Hogan vs. Flair match in favor of this. All in all that wound up being a good thing with Flair and Savage having a classic underneath the main-event.

Hulk Hogan and Mr. T vs. Paul Orndorff and Roddy Piper – WrestleMania I. Listen, I was as big a WWF fan during this time period as anyone but I have to admit, this match was not very good. I have it here at ten so who knows, maybe something will come along to bump it off the list. Paul Orndorff tried his best but not even his greatness could save this from making the bottom of the list.

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WRESTLEMANIA XXVII
From The Georgia Dome in Atlanta, GA
April 3, 2011

BACKGROUND
WrestleManias these days are more like the Super Bowl than ever before. In the NFL’s biggest annual game, while the outcome determines a champion, thus making the game the most relevant part of the weekend, the lure and aura of the halftime show, commercials, and interminable pre-game shows loaded with puff pieces draw in the casual viewer.

With WWE’s ratings and buyrates waning incrementally from the Attitude Era’s ending, Vince McMahon has discovered other ways to appeal to the casual viewer, especially come “WrestleMania season.”

In the last year and a half or so, World Wrestling Entertainment has dove into the deep end of social networking. You can’t sit through more than five minutes of Monday Night Raw anymore without Michael Cole prattling on in his cacophonic shriek about “hashtags” and “trending” and whatnot. Wrestlers tweeting threats to each other on off-days, usually in character, have begun to replace traditional story elements of tag team miscues and title shot demands as a means of fueling feuds and grudges.

With Twitter and Facebook as prime means of communication, it’s no doubt that WWE would exploit any chance to reach potential viewers.

Of course, WWE also continues the time-honored tradition of immersing past stars into the present story world. In recent years, we’ve seen Chris Jericho run afoul of Hall of Famers like Ric Flair and Ricky Steamboat on the Road to WrestleMania. One year later, Vince McMahon and Bret Hart modified their years of bad blood into a three month story arc that culminated in one of WrestleMania’s most unlikely matches.

With a Georgia Dome to fill, and fans to get talking, WWE brought somebody in off the bench to help ensure the likelihood of both. It had been nearly seven years since he was last seen….

But finally……he came back.

THE EVENT
On February 14, 2011, a day devoted to love, wrestling fans jilted by the loss of WWE’s classic spontaneity and assertiveness were greeted to the sports entertainment equivalent of John Cusack standing below their bedroom window with a boombox.

One week after Vince McMahon announced a special guest host for WrestleMania, The Rock showed up in Anaheim, to an ungodly ovation from fans who had missed one of the sport’s greatest heroes. Dwayne Johnson systematically riffed on The Miz and John Cena, the two would-be main eventers, the latter in particular for some scathing public comments. Cena had derided Rock for leaving WWE completely behind in his pursuit of Sunset Boulevard, and now “The People’s Champion” was back to dress down his verbal attacker.

For weeks, Rock and Cena exchanged jibes back and forth so often, you’d think they were facing off at WrestleMania. Instead, Cena (who won #1 contendership at Elimination Chamber) would be challenging The Miz for the WWE Championship. Miz became a secondary figure to Rock and Cena’s trash talk, even while Michael Cole was championing Miz as “the most must-see WWE Champion in history.”

Ahh, Michael Cole’s heel turn. That ties into WrestleMania as well, as Cole, now pro-heel to the hilt, kept getting under the skin of Jerry Lawler, his longtime partner. When Lawler attempted to become WWE Champion in his only-ever shot, and felt short vs. The Miz, Cole rubbed it in to Lawler in antagonistic fashion. Emotions spilled over when Cole let slip that Lawler’s now-dead mother watched her son lose, and “The King” finally put his hands on his partner.

Soon enough, a match would be signed, with Jack Swagger as Cole’s trainer, and Stone Cold Steve Austin (what did I say about classic acts?) as the guest referee.

We haven’t even mentioned the Royal Rumble winner yet. Alberto Del Rio won the only 40-Man Rumble in history, and selected Edge, the World Heavyweight Champion, as the hilltopper he wished to knock off the summit. This feud had the added advantage of involving Christian, whom Del Rio put out of action in the fall of 2010. The reunited brothers (not friends, screw you WWE) banded together against Del Rio, his servant Ricardo Rodriguez, and protégé Brodus Clay.

To add more star power, The Undertaker’s streak of eighteen WrestleMania wins would be put on the line. Rumors swirled about who would try to end the mark. First, former UFC Champion Brock Lesnar was considered, but a deal never occurred. Then Sting was to jump from TNA, but re-signed with the company in the eleventh hour. Finally, Triple H stepped in, and engaged in weeks of tremendous dueling promo monologues with The Dead Man. The one from March 28 involving Shawn Michaels was some of WWE’s best TV to date.

CM Punk would face Randy Orton in a war over some of Orton’s past acts of aggression. And speaking of aggression, Orton would take out each of Punk’s Nexus flunkies on the road to their showdown.

Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Josh Mathews provided commentary, with Jim Ross and Booker T joining in later. Keri Hilson performed America the Beautiful. The Hall of Famers included Shawn Michaels, The Road Warriors, Paul Ellering, Sunny, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Abdullah the Butcher, Bob Armstrong, and Drew Carey.

THE RESULTS
World Heavyweight Championship: Edge def. Alberto Del Rio in 11:10
(Not only did the Royal Rumble winner open the show, but he also lost, looking like quite the “chumpstain” in the process. This would be Edge’s final match before retiring due to spinal injuries, but at least it was a really good opener. But still, why did it have to open?)

Cody Rhodes def. Rey Mysterio in 12:00
(This was quite an important match, as not only was it really good, but it showed that Rhodes can shine in a role outside of being Randy Orton’s lackey, or Ted Dibiase’s co-conspirator. If you wonder why Rhodes is trusted with a serious push, look here)

Kane/Big Show/Kofi Kingston/Santino Marella def. The Corre in 1:35
(As of this match, Santino Marella is 2-0 at WrestleMania, and Big Show is 3-8. Let that sink in)

Randy Orton def. CM Punk in 14:48
(If the crowd wasn’t so restless by this point, and if the night didn’t have a sour tone overall, this would be remembered as something more. Damn good match, but greater things lie ahead for both. Especially Punk about three months later….)

Michael Cole by Jerry Lawler by DQ in 13:42
(Why yes, this got more time than the first two matches. Coupled with The Rock wasting fifteen minutes at the start of the show with a cheerleading session, and you see why Sheamus and Daniel Bryan’s US Title match was bumped. The only good this match provided was getting Jim Ross to do commentary for the rest of the evening. Watching Cole on extended offense is like watching a midget do a caber toss)

No Holds Barred: The Undertaker def. Triple H in 29:26
(Not the five star classic some were hailing it as, but still a match of the year contender, surpassed by Christian/Del Rio a month later, and then Cena/Punk at MITB and Summerslam. Just a wild brawl with an insanely intense last few minutes. Undertaker springing back from the dregs of death to make Triple H tap out was heart-stopping excitement, and it pretty much saved the show. 19-0)

John Morrison/Trish Stratus/Snooki def. Dolph Ziggler/Michelle McCool/Layla in 4:00
(I’ll say it: Snooki + WWE’s make-up team = mildly attractive. She filled out those shorts nicely, even if I find her repulsive otherwise. Morrison snubbed Trish for much of the post-match, out of protest for Melina not getting to be on the show, and would fall out of favor with WWE entirely, leaving by year’s end. Actually, factoring in Layla’s near year-long injury, and Dolph is the only one still there)

WWE Heavyweight Championship: The Miz def. John Cena in 16:10
(If there’s one thing Miz doesn’t know how to do, it’s put on an epic match. Pedestrian, Raw-like, and building to nothing exciting, the match ended in a double countout before Rock restarted it, just so he could screw Cena with a Rock Bottom. Then Miz, after winning, got one too, and Rock celebrated to end the show. Really, that was the ending. The Seinfeld finale was better conceived)

ITS PLACE IN HISTORY
Rock and Cena would immediately begin to hype their one on one match for a year later, but the fans were still coming to grips with the show that they’d just been fed. Bryan/Sheamus bumped? Edge opening? Rock rambling in horrible segments? Cole wrestling for fifteen minutes? Snoop Dogg hosting a sing-off? No title changes? SNOOKI?!?!

Four of the matches (Edge/Alberto, Rey/Cody, Punk/Orton, Taker/HHH) were all WrestleMania worthy, and keep this from being a complete clunker. That said, there were so many head-scratching decisions involved with WrestleMania XXVII, you’d think Vince McMahon was bound and gagged backstage while Vince Russo and Herb Abrams ran amok with the booking sheet.

As for the show’s most enduring image, it has to be The Rock. It was supposed to be, theoretically, a night for Cena and Edge, two longtime heroes, to wage war with two upstart villains, Del Rio and Miz, in championship matches, but they were mere appetizers. Rock leading the fans in a chant exhibition, and then cavorting around with Mae Young and Peewee Herman…..this was somehow necessary, according to WWE.

Rock standing tall to close the show is the official portrait, and that pretty much sums up the show’s downfall.

Justin Henry is a freelance writer who splits time between this site, WrestleCrap.com, and FootballNation.com. He can be found via his wrestling Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/wrestlecrapjrh

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WRESTLEMANIA XXV
From Reliant Stadium in Houston, TX
April 5, 2009

BACKGROUND
There have been many to criticize WWE for not knowing their history, often distorting facts and erroneously relaying anecdotes with the frequency of a con man on the witness stand. But this time, WWE is going to be taken to task for its poor math skills as well.

WrestleMania XXV was dubbed “The Twenty-Fifth Anniversary of WrestleMania”, which implies that WrestleMania began in 1984. While one may argue that the idea for event’s inception may have come from the year of Ronald Reagan’s re-election, the first event, clearly, took place in 1985.

“The Twenty-Fifth Anniversary of WrestleMania” was a repeated phrase, used dozens of times per broadcast in the weeks leading to the April 5 bonanza. It seemed almost apropos that a company would get something wrong, and then to their guns, continuing to get it wrong night after night, week after week, in every medium in which WrestleMania was advertised.

WWE can make its audience run a gamut of emotions, from “high satisfied to the point of pledging lifetime loyalty” to “wow, what made them think THAT was a great idea?” A misnomer in advertising would merely be the tip of the iceberg for a show that held high expectations.

Since WWE was demonstrating their ability to make continued miscalculations, it makes sense that they would bungle a number of other roads to their grand spectacle.

In the two world title matches, one would feature a nonsensical home invasion incident that would serve to take the story’s villain and reduce him to being a weakened oaf. The other would see the hero reveal a love triangle that featured the champion, his shrill authoritarian wife, and a seven foot monster.

Thankfully, there was one historically great match that would keep the show out of the landfill of wrestling’s mismanaged atrocities.

THE EVENT
Randy Orton would win the 2009 Royal Rumble, adding another brick to his well-built newer persona. Orton had ditched his generic “evil jock” routine, and was now bent on playing an unstable creep, whose deplorable random acts of violence were facilitated by intermittent explosive disorder (IED). The condition came to the forefront six days before the Rumble when Orton, about to be fired by Vince McMahon for insubordination, struck the boss, and then delivered a vicious punt to his head.

Orton would then target the McMahons further, horribly injuring Vince’s son Shane, and then dropping daughter Stephanie with an RKO. The latter act was done as a message to the WWE Champion, Stephanie’s husband Triple H.

After Hunter broke into Orton’s house and attempted to maim him with a sledgehammer, Orton one-upped the champion by DDTing Stephanie a week later, while Hunter was handcuffed to the ropes. Then, to punctuate his misdeed, Orton kissed Stephanie’s lifeless face while Triple H could only scream at him helplessly.

Over on Smackdown, Edge had finagled his way into becoming World Heavyweight Champion the same night he lost the WWE Title. After being eliminated from Smackdown’s Elimination Chamber at No Way Out three minutes into the match, Edge attacked Kofi Kingston and took over in the Raw match, outlasting champion John Cena and others to win the title.

In order to keep Cena out of the title picture, Vickie Guerrero inexplicably announced that Edge would defend the World Heavyweight Title against Big Show at WrestleMania. Cena, however, interrupted the signing by whispering something to Vickie, who then canceled the signing abruptly. Cena then was inserted into the match, as it was revealed that Vickie and Big Show had been having a discreet affair, and Cena had used video proof to extort his way into the match.

Speaking of depravity, Matt Hardy had double crossed his brother Jeff, costing him the WWE Title in January. Hardy had tired of Jeff stealing the spotlight designed for both Hardy Boyz, and would sign to face him in an Extreme Rules match at WrestleMania.

Also on the demented side, Chris Jericho’s obsession with the movie “The Wrestler”, starring Mickey Rourke, had brought him to rail against legendary figures who hang on for too long. Jericho would violently assault Ric Flair, Jimmy Snuka, Rowdy Roddy Piper, and Ricky Steamboat, leading to him signing for a three-on-one elimination match against the latter three Hall of Famers. Rourke would be in attendance as well.

On February 16, Shawn Michaels def. JBL in a match where the winner would have the right to challenge The Undertaker for WrestleMania, with a chance to end his streak at stake. Michaels would try to outduel Taker with the mind games, pointing out how “The Phenom” never once pinned him, and also tried to get in his head with religious overtones. Michaels was content to break his nice-guy facade, one upping The Undertaker with sneak attacks in the winding weeks as well.

Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, and Michael Cole called the entire event as a trio. Nicole Scherzinger performed “America the Beautiful”, while Kid Rock performed a song medley. The Hall of Fame saw inclusion of Stone Cold Steve Austin, Ricky Steamboat, Cowboy Bill Watts, The Funk Brothers, The Von Erichs, Koko B. Ware, and Howard Finkel

THE RESULTS
Money in the Bank: CM Punk def. Kane, Shelton Benjamin, MVP, Finlay, Christian, Kofi Kingston, and Mark Henry in 14:24
(The fans actually booed when Punk, still a face, won. That may have been the catalyst for one of my all time favorite heel runs in wrestling history. Match was solid, but nothing great, thanks to some very awkward spots)

25 Diva Battle Royal: Santino Marella won, last ousting Beth Phoenix and Melina in 9:26
(I refuse to dignify this crap any further. You can’t make me)

3 on 1 Handicap Elimination Match: Chris Jericho def. Rowdy Roddy Piper, Jimmy Snuka, and Ricky Steamboat in 8:53
(Jericho’s point about legends needing to go away was vindicated by Piper and Snuka wrestling like, well, Piper and Snuka. Steamboat looked amazing for having a 15 year layoff, and he and Jericho salvaged a crap match with just four minutes of work)

Extreme Rules: Matt Hardy def. Jeff Hardy in 13:13
(An underrated match sees both men have as violent a spotfest as possible. Hilarious moment: Jeff misses a pointless ladder leg drop, Matt hits a chair-wrapped Twist of Fate (which looked SICK), wins, and JR screams of how Matt has ruined the moment for Jeff. Uhh, Jim? Matt’s trying to win too)

WWE Intercontinental: Rey Mysterio def. JBL in 21 seconds to win the title
(The first time the Intercontinental belt is defended in the “WWE” era at WrestleMania, and it goes twenty one seconds. What a way for JBL to go. I did enjoy Rey’s “Joker” tribute though)

The Undertaker def. Shawn Michaels in 30:41
(If not for this match, we’d be talking about WrestleMania XXV the same way we talk about WrestleMania IX, or even an orphanage burning down. Just dramatic as could be throughout, and it deserved all the accolades that it received. It’s one of the five or ten greatest WrestleMania matches ever, and it saved the show)

World Heavyweight Championship: John Cena def. Edge and Big Show in 14:42 to win the title
(It wasn’t as bad as it could have been, as it did have a number of creative double teams and wild moments. But Cena winning (again), Show jobbing (again), and much of the action just seemed so derivative. It was alright)

WWE Heavyweight Championship: Triple H def. Randy Orton in 23:34
(They decided to blow off one of their hotter angles with a slow, awkward, punch-filled alleged brawl in which the crowd, all 70,000+ of them, was totally dead. Orton losing failed to get any kind of reaction, and you’ve noticed that Triple H hasn’t been involved in a major World Title program since)

ITS PLACE IN HISTORY
There was a Tag Team Title unification match scheduled for the show, with John Morrison and The Miz taking on Carlito and Primo, but due to time constraints, the match was relegated to the pre-show. Those fans who didn’t check the internet during the show didn’t realize the match had already taken place until near the end of the night.

It seems about right that WWE would take four hard working young talents and excise them from the main card in favor of the Divas Battle Royal, which had a 10 minute concert that no one liked, followed by 10 minutes of insulting “wrestling”.

This is one of those nights where WWE seemed to not know what the fans wanted. Triple H won to no reaction. John Cena won, again, to the misery of his detractors. Piper and Snuka waddled through the motions while the two aforementioned teams got pushed aside.

But at least, with Undertaker and Shawn Michaels, the fans were treated to a half hour of no pointless swerves, no cutesy self-congratulation, and no overbooking to build to another show. Instead, two of the greatest wrestlers in history wrestled, and they wrestled well.

So at least we had that.

Justin Henry is a freelance writer who splits time between this site, WrestleCrap.com, and FootballNation.com. He can be found via his wrestling Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/wrestlecrapjrh

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Much derision has been uttered about John Cena and The Rock’s WrestleMania XXIX rematch, especially as it flies in the face of the “Once in a Lifetime” tagline from last year. But as WWE aficionados will tell you, this isn’t the first major rematch in WrestleMania history.

Listed are ten cases of WrestleMania rematches throughout time, ranked from worst to best, with explanations as to how each rematch came to be. In all cases, except for one, the rematches took place within 2 years of the previous meeting.

10. Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant (WrestleMania IV)

One year earlier, The Hulkster and the Eighth Wonder of the World filled the Pontiac Silverdome with over 90,000 fans. In what’s still considered by many to be the biggest main event in wrestling history, the WWE Champion slammed the turncoat Giant to a massive roar, and handed Andre his first pinfall loss of note (at least in the United States).

Ten months later, Andre won Hogan’s title on a Friday night NBC special, thanks to Ted Dibiase orchestrating chicanery with the referees. Andre surrendered the championship to Dibiase, as per the agreement between the two. WWE President Jack Tunney invalidated the transaction, and held the championship up for a 14 man tournament at WrestleMania IV.

Hogan and Andre were awarded automatic byes into the second round, due to their status as the previous champions. They faced off, with the winner getting the winner of Dibiase and Don Muraco. The abbreviated match ended in a double disqualification after a chair got involved, but it was mission accomplished for Andre: Dibiase drew a bye to the finals.

9. Undertaker vs. Kane (WrestleMania XX)

This one’s cheating a bit, due to the gap between matches, but I needed a credible tenth match. At WrestleMania XIV in 1998, Undertaker had his first ever meeting with Kane, nearly six months after the demonic brother attacked The Dead Man at Badd Blood. Undertaker narrowly won the brawl, extending his perfect WrestleMania record to 7-0.

Through the next six years, the two men would demonstrate a complex relationship, both assaulting one another at random, and then aligning through their brotherly bonds. However, in November 2003, an increasingly-unhinged Kane aided Vince McMahon in burying Undertaker (in his biker phase) alive, and the Dead Man was seemingly gone for good.

Over the next several months, Kane was taunted by Undertaker’s classic gong sound, as well as caskets, an urn, and a ring that shook via supernatural powers. At WrestleMania, a restored Undertaker, once more led by Paul Bearer and druids, annihilated Kane, his first repeat WrestleMania victim. After the final Tombstone, the Phenom improved to 12-0.

8. Triple H vs. Randy Orton (WrestleMania XXV)

One year earlier, Orton was in a tough predicament, having to defend the WWE Championship against Triple H and John Cena in a triple threat match. The Legend Killer managed to survive the challenge, striking Helmsley with a punt after he’d Pedigreed Cena. With both men prone, the champ covered Cena and scored the victory.

One year later, Orton won the Royal Rumble, last ousting Triple H. But The Game would become WWE Champion at Elimination Chamber, giving Orton a desirable target. These events came after Orton attacked Vince, Shane, and Stephanie McMahon in different incidents, including kissing the downed Stephanie with a handcuffed Hunter forced to watch.

Helmsley was justly livid, attacking Orton in a home invasion like something out of the Attitude Era. After weeks of attacks that included Orton’s henchmen Cody Rhodes and Ted Dibiase, as well as Vince and Shane, Helmsley decisively beat Orton in a rather slow WrestleMania main event, striking with the sledgehammer, and winning via Pedigree.

7. Mr. T vs. Rowdy Roddy Piper (WrestleMania II)

B.A. Baracus’ teaming with Hulk Hogan at the inaugural WrestleMania was a huge part of WWE’s hefty windfall and spoils of the 1980′s “Rock n Wrestling” era. After hosting Saturday Night Live together, and making other media rounds, Hogan and Mr. T defeated Rowdy Roddy Piper and Paul Orndorff in a star-studded main event at Madison Square Garden.

One year later, Vince McMahon spread the second WrestleMania across three time zones, and needed a suitable main event for each. Hogan would face King Kong Bundy in Los Angeles for the WWE Title, Chicago would get both an NFL player-laden battle royal and a Tag Team Title match, while Piper and T would headline the Long Island portion.

Rather than have a wrestling match, The Hot Rod would be boxing the pop culture icon. Joan Rivers was guest ring announcer, while judges included Cab Calloway, G. Gordon Liddy, and Darryl Dawkins. T won via disqualification in a fight that was mostly a farce, but it was a heated one, filled with some legitimate punches between the two (who had real heat).

6. Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna (WrestleMania X)

At the ill-fated WrestleMania IX, WWE Champion Hart had his six month reign as WWE’s hero ended after Mr. Fuji tossed salt into his eyes, allowing the massive Yokozuna to capture the gold. In a moment indicative of Hart’s, and WWE’s, place in 1993, Yoko dropped the title minutes later to Hulk Hogan, who had merely returned for a cup of coffee in Stamford.

Hart was sidetracked from the chase via feuds with Jerry Lawler and freshly-turned brother Owen, but The Hitman managed to co-win the 1994 Royal Rumble with Lex Luger. In a unique decision, both men would get a shot at WrestleMania X in two different matches. Luger would get Yoko first, and to compensate, Bret had to wrestle earlier in the night vs. Owen.

Hart lost a scientific clinic to Owen in the opening match, while Luger was controversially disqualified against Yokozuna mid-show. Yoko had been rendered unconscious via Luger’s steel forearm, but got the upper hand on an injured Hart early. The mighty champion slipped off the ropes on a Banzai Drop attempt, and Hart pinned him while he lay stunned.

5. Undertaker vs. Triple H (WrestleMania XXVIII)

Their battle at WrestleMania X7 was largely wiped from history in 2011, when Triple H challenged Undertaker’s streak. Presented as a fresh matchup, The Game planned to avenge Shawn Michaels’ retirement the year before. After brutalizing Undertaker into near oblivion, Hunter slipped up and fell victim to the Hell’s Gate submission, bringing Taker to 19-0.

In 2012, Undertaker issued repeated challenges to Triple H, wanting to avenge the beating he’d been given. Helmsley, now settled into his role as Chief Operating Officer, repeatedly refused until Undertaker finally goaded him by saying that Helmsley was never as good as Shawn Michaels. Triple H made it a Hell in a Cell match, and Michaels would be the ref.

Helmsley got the upper hand early, despite having a wound opened near his eyebrow. Michaels tried to stop the match when Undertaker was vulnerable, but The Dead Man came back with a fury. After bashing Helmsley with his own sledgehammer, Undertaker finished with a Tombstone. The Dead Man and Michaels helped Helmsley away to a standing ovation.

4. Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. The Rock (WrestleMania XIX)

At WrestleManias XV and X7, the two cornerstones of the 1990s wrestling boom waged war for the WWE Championship, both times with Austin reigning supreme. As a matter of fact, other than eliminating Austin in the WWE vs. Alliance match at Survivor Series 2001, Rock had never pinned Stone Cold, while Austin slayed him twice under the brightest of lights.

In January 2003, Austin was named Superstar of the Decade by WWE, a selection that irked a Hollywood-tainted, self-indulgent People’s Champion. Rock lamented never beating Austin at WrestleMania, and challenged Stone Cold (freshly returned from an infamous eight month hiatus) to one more round on the grand stage, with nothing at stake but pride.

Austin ended up having the final match of his thirteen year career with Rock, who withstood Austin’s last ditch offense before dropping him with three Rock Bottoms. In the aftermath, Rock broke character to check on his real-life friend and peer, before leaving with tears in his eyes. Austin then made his exit, the camera tracking him to the stage and into retirement.

3. Edge and Christian vs. The Hardy Boyz vs. The Dudley Boyz (WrestleMania X7)

Tag team wrestling in WWE experienced its greatest resurgence since the days of the Harts, Rockers, Bulldogs and Demolition when the aforementioned six brought WWE audiences the slickest stuntwork in years. A series of ladder and table matches between them culminated at WrestleMania 2000, with Edge and Christian winning a triple ladder match.

Through the next year, the teams would battle off and on, including the first true “TLC” match at Summerslam 2000, with the Canadians reeking of awesomeness yet again, while all six set new standards for high-risk wrestling. By X7, the Dudleyz were champs, and each team had an ally: they had brother Spike, Edge and Christian had Rhyno, and the Hardyz still had Lita.

A TLC match was arranged for the three teams once more, and their accomplices all got involved. Edge speared Jeff off of the skyhook with the titles, while Rhyno knocked Bubba Ray and Matt off the ladder through a stack of four tables. D-Von was kept at bay in the end, as Rhyno aided Christian up the ladder, with Captain Charisma pulling down the straps.

2. Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels (WrestleMania XXVI)

In 2009, Michaels, building on his reputation as “Mr. WrestleMania”, tore down Houston with The Undertaker in an attempt to break the unbreakable streak. For thirty minutes, the two icons threw everything at each other, with Taker nearly wiping out on a dive to the floor. In the end, Taker caught Shawn on a moonsault and Tombstoned his way to 17-0.

Both men took months off, and went on different paths upon their August returns. But come Royal Rumble time, Shawn attempted to win with sole purpose of getting Taker (now World Heavyweight Champion) in a rematch. When Shawn lost, he went on a mission to get Undertaker anyway, and cost him the title at Elimination Chamber weeks later.

Undertaker finally acknowledged Shawn’s challenges by accepting on the condition that Michaels retire if he lost. The match was as dramatic as their 2009 battle, concluding with Michaels refusing to lay down despite the beating. Shawn mocked Taker and smacked him, leading to one giant Tombstone to end HBK’s in-ring career in heart-stopping fashion.

1. Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. The Rock (WrestleMania X7)

Mentioned earlier in the third match of their trilogy was this clash in Houston. Two years after Austin vanquished Rock in Philadelphia, effectively destroying The Corporation’s stronghold on WWE, both men rose to greater, near-immortal heights in the time after. Rock even eclipsed Austin’s popularity while Austin recovered from spinal surgery.

In early 2001, Austin won his third Royal Rumble, while Rock defeated Kurt Angle to become champion at No Way Out. The two icons were on a collision course for WrestleMania once more, with no corporate blockade for Austin to break. Instead, it was a battle for pride, respect, and gold. Ominously, Austin reiterated in interviews that he “needed” to win.

The match was possibly each man’s greatest performance, exchanging Attitude Era-brawling with submission wrestling. Toward the climax, Vince McMahon made his way out for unknown reasons. After breaking up a Rock pinfall attempt, he and Austin worked together to dismantle Rock with a steel chair. Austin won, and thanked new friend Vince afterward.

Justin Henry is a freelance writer who splits time between this site, WrestleCrap.com, and FootballNation.com. He can be found via his wrestling Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/wrestlecrapjrh

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WRESTLEMANIA XXI
From The Staples Center in Los Angeles, CA
April 3, 2005

BACKGROUND
Since the day that Vince McMahon gained majority interest of the World Wrestling Federation from his aging, ailing father Vincent J., the younger Vince had grandiose dreams for the wrestling enterprise.

But wrestling is, of course, a bad word to McMahon. “Wrestling” conjures up scorn and mockery from the mainstream media, which is the very group that McMahon wants to charm most. While Vince has taken many a potshot at the mainstream, even on his own WWE programs, it’s done with a “sour grapes” bent.

McMahon has wished for years that his televised events would get the same respect that American Idol, Monday Night Football, Survivor, Seinfeld, CSI, and other wildly popular contemporary shows receive. Other than a war with WCW in the latter half of the 1990’s, he’s never seen other wrestling ventures as direct competition, since other wrestling promotions cater almost solely to ‘wrestling’ fans.

Vince McMahon, as we all have come to accept, caters to the median.

So for WrestleMania XXI, set in the same city as Rodeo Drive and Television City, McMahon unveiled one of his most clever advertising schemes, which fits right in line with how he perceives his work of blood, sweat, and tears.

For weeks building to the April 3 gala, professional looking vignettes were aired, featuring WWE superstars parodying popular movies, from Triple H playing William Wallace in Braveheart, to Undertaker recreating Inspector Callahan for his take on Dirty Harry, fans enjoyed WWE’s attempt to prove that they’re just as “Hollywood” as the giant letters that adorn that California mountainside.

As “WrestleMania Goes Hollywood”, WWE would go fresh. It was here that McMahon decided to pay off his “new class” of star by featuring several in-house developmental talents in major roles. For better or worse, these men would lead WWE into its future.

THE EVENT
For the first time since becoming a major player in the late 1990’s, Triple H would be thoroughly outsmarted by the opposition.

Beginning in late 2004, Triple H began to show signs of a rift with Evolution’s muscled enforcer, Batista. Though Batista usually did as he was told, clearing paths for his boss to escape with the World Heavyweight Championship, “The Animal” began to speak out in bold, subtle tones against some of Triple H’s demands. Though the group’s veteran adviser, Ric Flair, would often smooth over the trouble spots, it was clear that Batista was tired of taking orders.

Batista and Flair both competed in the 2005 Royal Rumble, with the idea being that, as long as one of them won and Triple H remained champion (he retained over former protégé Randy Orton earlier in the night), the main event of WrestleMania would center around Evolution. Batista would win, tossing out John Cena in a controversial finish.

However, Triple H tried to steer Batista into going to SmackDown to challenge champion JBL, giving him the idea that Evolution could hold two World titles. After weeks of hemming and hawing, Batista appeared to agree with Helmsley’s plan, only to reveal that he saw through the façade, believing that Triple H was simply afraid of him. Batista attacked the champion and Flair, severed his ties with them, and officially signed to face his former jefe at WrestleMania.

Speaking of JBL and John Cena, they would represent the SmackDown main event for the WWE Championship. JBL had become the unlikely champion in June 2004, transforming from beer-swilling, card-playing Texan to something more like his real-life alter ego, a stock market savant who handled his money as well as he did smaller opponents. JBL survived title defense after title defense, mocking the middle class all the while. Among the former Bradshaw’s wins were a bullrope match with Eddie Guerrero to win the belt, a “Last Ride” match with Undertaker, and a barbed wire steel cage match with Big Show.

Cena became #1 contender by winning a tournament final over Kurt Angle at No Way Out. JBL and Cena were a match made in heaven, as JBL’s upper-class snobbery meshed with Cena’s streetwise blue collar attitude.

In other big matches, Kurt Angle would meet Shawn Michaels for the first time ever at WrestleMania XXI. Angle became convinced that he could do anything that Shawn could do, and tried to replicate his entire career in just one month, hoping to culminate the story with a win over Michaels. The saga included winning a classic match with Michaels’ former partner Marty Jannetty on Smackdown.

In addition, Randy Orton, in an attempt to further his “Legend Killer” persona, challenged The Undertaker at WrestleMania, figuring that if he could end the streak, his moniker would be worth its presumed weight.

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Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler, along with Michael Cole and Tazz, provided the commentary yet again. The WWE Hall of Fame inductions saw Hulk Hogan as the headlining figure, going in along with six of his classic nemeses: Rowdy Roddy Piper, Paul Orndorff, Cowboy Bob Orton, Jimmy Hart, Iron Sheik, and Nikolai Volkoff. Hogan would save Eugene from an attack by Muhammad Hassan and Daivari, while Piper hosted a raucous Piper’s Pit with Stone Cold Steve Austin and Carlito.

THE RESULTS
Rey Mysterio def. Eddie Guerrero in 12:39
(What should have been an excellent match was somewhat marred by Mysterio wearing a mask that was looser than a Louisiana ring rat. Mysterio kept stopping to readjust, ruining much of the timing. It should be noted that these two were WWE Tag Team Champions at the time)

Money in the Bank: Edge def. Chris Jericho, Chris Benoit, Kane, Christian, and Shelton Benjamin in 15:17
(The first, and possibly best, of these types of matches saw Shelton try to steal the show with a hands-free run up a sloped ladder, and Edge royally piss the fans off by winning. This is when he stole Lita from Matt Hardy in real life, and the fans rallied behind Hardy. Sounds funny now, I know. Amazing match)

The Undertaker def. Randy Orton in 14:14
(One of the last times I truly felt Undertaker’s streak was in jeopardy was when Orton landed an RKO out of a Tombstone attempt for two. The other highlight was Bob Orton running in with his old cast and whacking Taker with it. Pretty good match, actually. That’s thirteen)

WWE Women’s: Trish Stratus def. Christy Hemme in 4:11
(If Hemme was any more useless, she’d be WWE stock in 2025. Stratus pretty much openly mocked her during the match, which I’m sure was half-shoot)

Kurt Angle def. Shawn Michaels in 27:25
(Just a great match from perhaps the two best overall wrestlers of the last twenty years. I was as shocked as anyone when Shawn Michaels tapped out cleanly to the ankle lock, and I’m sad that the two more times that these men faced off would be the end of their series. There should have been WAY more)

Sumo Match: Akebono def. Big Show in 1:02
(Two fat guys in thongs, all to get WWE free press in Japan. Don’t inquire further)

WWE Heavyweight Championship: John Cena def. JBL in 11:26 to win the title
(Pretty weird match, as the ending came out of nowhere, and there was none of JBL’s usual chicanery. Fans barely reacted for the new WWE champion, in Cena’s first reign. These two had a MUCH greater match at Judgment Day two months later, so check that out)

WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Batista def. Triple H in 21:34 to win the title
(Fans give this match a bad rap, but I quite enjoyed it. Basically, Batista managed to bust Triple H open, and then he began taking out all of his aggression from years of being a lackey out by mauling the champ into oblivion. At least the fans marked out for the finish this time)

ITS PLACE IN HISTORY
If you exclude Rey Mysterio’s World Title win at WrestleMania XXII one year after this event, then Cena and Batista are the last two men to win their first career World Titles at WrestleMania. Since then, WWE has largely relied on the same people in the same clutch situations, as opposed to taking a risk at the big annual spectacular.

In fact, let’s go one step further. Excepting Mysterio again, every World Title participant at WrestleMania after this (22 through 26) have either been previous-champions, or have already been in World Title matches at WrestleMania previously. That doesn’t show a lot of creativity, nor does it show any iota of faith in rising stars. WrestleMania XXVII will feature Alberto Del Rio, which is definitely a noble risk.

But for this event, WrestleMania XXI, John Cena and Batista were given transplants of faith by the office, and both men would remain as featured players for years; Cena to this day, and Batista up until he left WWE in the spring of 2010.

The enduring image of WrestleMania XXI is the torch passings, to a former Evolution bodyguard and a wannabe freestyle rapper, both of whom became made men on this night.

Justin Henry is a freelance writer who splits time between this site, WrestleCrap.com, and FootballNation.com. He can be found via his wrestling Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/wrestlecrapjrh

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WRESTLEMANIA XIX
From Safeco Field in Seattle, WA
March 30, 2003

BACKGROUND
The waves of time were eroding WWE’s familiar image away, aggressively eating away the dunes of chic and hip. Beneath the devoured sands were levels of desperation that, now unearthed, would only serve to further deface a once-effulgent company.

After WWE split into two brands, Raw and Smackdown, in the spring of 2002, fans used to edgy television were now being force-fed the notion that Hulk Hogan was still hip in the 21st century, and that the Stamford-approved version of the New World Order was as potent as it was when Kevin Nash and company ran roughshod over Atlanta six years prior.

With WWE fans, having been conditioned to accept a younger, fast-paced centrum from WWE’s brain trust, were suddenly staring down a slower, intelligence-insulting WWE that also featured, among other things, a watered-down, unhappy Steve Austin (soon to walk out, and then be accused of spousal abuse), a slower Triple H, a midcard with little chance of advancement, and the addition of a largely-unasked-for Eric Bischoff.

With ratings declining in the summer months, WWE put its Undisputed World Championship around the waist of new sensation Brock Lesnar, a frightening grappler with amateur credentials and no professional ceiling.

Despite the infusion of other new talents (John Cena, Randy Orton, and Batista), WWE sunk to unseen depths, trying to lure in audiences with gay weddings, lesbian decadence, and the act of necrophilia.

By the time WrestleMania season rolled around, WWE was far removed from its trendy nucleus of just two years prior.

The biggest show of the year would feature, in major roles, Kurt Angle (in dire need of neck surgery), Stone Cold Steve Austin (on his last legs as an active wrestler), The Rock (returning to Hollywood), and Brock Lesnar (main eventing at his first ‘Mania).

Could WWE pull this off?

THE EVENT
The actual main event of the show was Kurt Angle defending the WWE Championship against Brock Lesnar. Angle had used Lesnar to help him regain the strap at Armageddon in December from Big Show, and then reneged on giving him a promised shot.

Brock Lesnar would then enter the 2003 Royal Rumble and toss out the Undertaker for the win. For the next two months, Angle’s new lackeys, WWE Tag Team Champions Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin, as well as Lesnar’s ex-agent Paul Heyman, would serve as roadblocks and spike strips to try and slow down the monster Lesnar as he fought to regain the title he felt he never lost.

In the other main championship match, Triple H would be defending the World Heavyweight Championship on Raw against Booker T. Booker had won a battle royal one month prior to earn the shot, last ousting The Rock.

However, the angle took a rather controversial turn when Triple H accused Booker of being “too much of an entertainer” to be champion, and that Booker’s “kind” weren’t good enough to hold top honors. As a matter of fact, “The Game” asked Booker to “dance” for him. All of these remarks had faint racial implications, and cast a cloud of unnecessary shock to the storyline.

Triple H also brought to light Booker T’s criminal past, including his arrest and incarceration for robbing a Wendy’s in the 1980′s. Booker was given very little heroic momentum in what was a peculiar build-up.

Speaking of peculiar, Hulk Hogan returned to WWE in January, after a five month hiatus, and immediately entered into a feud with Vince McMahon.

McMahon claimed that bad blood had been brewing between the two men for years (even referencing his own 1994 steroid trial, in which Hogan had testified against him), and the two agreed to face off at WrestleMania XIX, in a match hailed as “twenty years in the making”. The bizarre feud would even net the participants as the lone faces on the event’s DVD packaging, in a somewhat common case of McMahon’s ego superseding the needs of his company.

Stone Cold Steve Austin had returned to WWE in February, and was immediately pitted against old friend/rival The Rock. Rock had fully embraced Hollywood conceit, and was rubbing his new lifestyle into the faces of the fans who built him up, and then began booing him. Austin’s involvement seemed to be minor, as real life neck injuries were hindering one of the greatest stars in WWE history.

In a match designed to capture the imaginations of fans who love being dazzled, Shawn Michaels would compete at his first WrestleMania in five years to face Chris Jericho. Jericho had claimed to have idolized Michaels, and was now ready to surpass a man whose standard Jericho now felt he was above. Y2J would go as far as to admit Michaels’ influence on his career, and indicated that evolution would take place on wrestling’s grandest stage.

Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler would call the Raw brand matches, while Michael Cole and Tazz covered the ones from Smackdown. Ashanti performed “America the Beautiful”, Limp Bizkit performed a pair of songs (including “Rollin” for the Undertaker’s entrance), and Miller Lite models Kitana Baker and Tanya Ballinger recreated their famed catfight commercial on the entrance set.

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THE RESULTS
WWE Cruiserweight: Matt Hardy Version 1.0 def. Rey Mysterio in 5:39
(Abbreviated for some reason, but still a really good match. Rey Mysterio dressed as Daredevil for this event, but wasn’t so blind that he couldn’t see that Jennifer Garner is a really lousy actress)

Handicap Match: The Undertaker def. Big Show/A-Train in 9:45
(This was to be a tag team match with Australian weirdo Nathan Jones as Taker’s partner, but Jones was scrapped for his poor abilities. Why did this get almost ten minutes? Oh, that’s eleven for Taker)

WWE Women’s: Trish Stratus def. Victoria and Jazz in 7:17 to win the title
(Dignified women’s wrestling at its finest. Dignified, that is, except for Trish pulling Victoria’s tights down on a roll-up to show off some crack. Er, not that I’m complaining)

WWE Tag Team: Charlie Haas/Shelton Benjamin def. Chris Benoit/Rhino and Los Guerreros in 8:46
(Anytime you have a three way match on pay per view that isn’t a marquee match, what you’re saying is “we can’t think of any storylines for these guys”. This is one of those times, sadly)

Shawn Michaels def. Chris Jericho in 22:33
(One of my personal favorite matches, and it was portrayed just the way I thought it would be: two men of great stature trying to one up each other, ending on an out-of-nowhere pinfall. Jericho’s post match fake embrace into a low kick on Michaels ranks as a forgotten, yet classic, moment)

World Heavyweight Championship: Triple H def. Booker T in 18:50
(Matches like this are the reason Triple H got a bad rap for years: slow and made the hero look weak. The only highlight was Jerry Lawler making crime jokes about Booker, and JR getting legit pissed. Funny stuff)

Street Fight: Hulk Hogan def. Vince McMahon in 20:48
(You know, a typical Vince match: table spot, Rowdy Roddy Piper run-in (waddle-in?), Vince jumping off of a ladder, and the true highlight: McMahon, covered in blood, slowly raising his face over the side of the apron with a sadistic grin. Gets funnier with every viewing)

The Rock def. Stone Cold Steve Austin in 17:53
(Rock finally gets a clean win over Austin, and it comes as the last truly great match either man would have. In fact, it was Austin’s last match ever, and wrestling hasn’t been the same without him. Rock’s pause before the final Rock Bottom, with Austin showing no resistance, seemed appropriate: Austin was no longer willing to fight, after 14 years of kicking ass. I still get chills watching Rock push Earl Hebner away so that he can break character and check on Austin’s condition afterward. I love this match)

WWE Heavyweight Championship: Brock Lesnar def. Kurt Angle in 21:04 to win the title
(I don’t know what was more amazing: the fact that Angle pretty much had a wrecked spine and still carried this to the subjective “four star” territory, or that Brock Lesnar landed on his head during that shooting star press and somehow lived. I literally have no idea who’s the tougher man. Great match)

ITS PLACE IN HISTORY

WrestleMania XIX was a mirage in the desert that was WWE in 2003. The drastic changes in Vince McMahon’s cash cow going into 2003 were rather alarming. Once a self-assured, well-booked company was now a mostly depressing product, centered around developmental stars that made no head way (Three Minute Warning, Chris Nowinski, and Batista (yet, anyway), as well as stars that the fans loved, but got no love from WWE (Booker T, Rob Van Dam, Dudley Boyz, etc).

While WrestleMania was one of only two exceptionally good pay per views in 2003 (the other being Vengeance in July), the show simply felt out of place, not quite fitting of the “grandest show of the year” title that is bestowed on it.

The last four matches filled out the marquee. Two of them featured wrestlers who were hospitalized the night before the show (Angle and Austin), one with tasteless racial overtones (HHH-Booker), and one between two men in their middle age, fighting for fictitiously-contrived reasons, trying to sell the show on little-known “real life” drama, as opposed to a compelling angle.

The in-ring action was more than enough to save WrestleMania XIX, dragging the horrid build out of the self-made muck.
To do that, he brought in the original three members of the New World Order: Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, and Hollywood Hulk Hogan.

Justin Henry is a freelance writer who splits time between this site, WrestleCrap.com, and FootballNation.com. He can be found via his wrestling Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/wrestlecrapjrh

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