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Posts by tag: Miss Tessmacher

1 year ago

TNA Impact Wrestling Results and April 18 Recap

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This week, TNA is once again in Corpus Christi, TX. The X-Division title will be on the line, and AJ Styles makes his in-ring return against James Storm.

We see Devon approach Tomax and Xamot somewhere in the back. He asks if they know what’s at stake tonight. Wes Brisco says he can beat Kurt Angle again. Garett Bischoff agrees. Devon doesn’t care what they say; he just wants them to get the job done.

MATCH 1-2-on-1 Handicap Match: Garett Bischoff and Wes Brisco vs. Kurt Angle Apparently, the gang sign for Aces and Eights is the same as the Van Buren Boys. Now TNA has resorted to ripping off sitcoms. Wes starts off for his team, and Angle applies a waistlock before firing off some rights in the corner. He corner whips Wes, and Wes crashes to the mat. Angle then knocks Garett off the apron. Stomps in the corner on Wes, ..click here to read more , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

2 years ago

TNA Impact Wrestling Results and February 7 Recap: New Tag Team Champions

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This week’s episode of Impact kicks off with a…well, not a bang. What’s less effective than a bang? No, pop is still too strong. Let’s say “nacho fart”.

Yes, this week’s TNA Impact Wrestling episode starts off with a nacho fart as the newest members of Aces and Eights, Wes Brisco and Garett Bischoff, make their way out. Could A and E have picked two guys people could care any less about? I’m thinking I should change their name from the Wonder Twins to Tomax and Xamot. Anyway, they are accompanied by the rest of the unmasked members of the group, as well as The Black Scorpion. Devon tells us that, a few weeks ago, he said A and E would dominate 2013. You know something? Not only are they dominating, but they are kicking the front door right into TNA (Huh?). After what they did to Kurt Angle last week, ..click here to read more , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

2 years ago

TNA Impact Wrestling Results & January 31 Recap

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This week’s TNA Impact Wrestling features another installment of Open Fight Night. As you can probably tell, I’m beside myself with glee. We’re also in the United Kingdom, so at least there’s that.

Mr. Anderson vs. Kurt Angle in a steel cage is on-tap, and Dixie Carter’s major surprise announcement that TNA will go on the road permanently from here on out. Oops.

Bad Influence make their way out, and they’re both dressed like Sir William Wallace. Kaz says they’re here for the UK’s viewing pleasure. As you can see, it once again “Throwback Thursday”, and they’re going all the way back to the 13th century. Tonight, they pay homage to the real true warriors of the UK, the Scots (they’re in Manchester right now, in case you were wondering). All of you “piss artists” and “turd burglars” need to look at this man, Christopher Daniels. I’m not listing off all of ..click here to read more , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

2 years ago

TNA Impact Wrestling Results & January 24 Recap

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Tonight, the continuation of the Aces and Eights angle that has no end in sight, featuring the stupidest heel turn in recent memory.

The show opens by airing damn near the entire stupid ending to last week’s show, but with the inclusion of overly dramatic music at the end.

Todd Kenely and Mike Tenay are sans-Taz, but his chair is still there, so I’m sure he’ll be out later for really bad heel commentary. Tenay is pulling out the “Owen Hart has died” voice, and I want to stab him in the junk.

We see Aces and Eights riding around on their motorcycles in the parking lot, and there appears to be about 25 of them, because the faction needed more faceless members. Yes, indeed. The group starts to make their way into the Impact Zone, led by Taz. Mr. Anderson is with them in full costume, so I guess that means he’s ..click here to read more , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

2 years ago

TNA Impact Wrestling Results & January 17 Recap: Bully and Brooke Tie The Knot

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This week’s TNA Impact will not only feature the fallout from Genesis, but the Bully Ray/Brooke Hogan wedding, which I know none of you are excited about. Now that he’s a face, can we call him Buddy Ray instead?

Speaking of Bully Ray, we see him looking at a text message on his phone, shaking his head. Brother Runt walks in, wearing the old taped-up Dudley Boys glasses. Tommy Dreamer also walks into congratulate him. Shoot over to Brooke Hogan’s dressing room, and some of the knockouts are getting ready, as they are apparently bridesmaids.

Jeff Hardy makes his way into the Impact Zone, still the World Champion after Sunday night’s PPV. Fans are chanting, “You still got it!” I beg to differ. Hardy says the odds were stacked against him, and the “creatures” prevailed again. Bobby Roode and Austin Aries are two of the best on this planet, but Hardy is ..click here to read more , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

2 years ago

TNA Wrestling Genesis 2013 Predictions and Preview

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Even though I don’t order TNA pay-per-views, because I do recaps every week, I probably pay closer attention to TNA than anyone else that works for CCB, and probably most CCB readers, too. Like Scrubbing Bubbles, I work hard so you don’t have to. As a result, I have been asked to do predictions for TNA pay-per-views from this point on, which is fine. This especially works for me since it was announced on this week’s Impact that TNA will now only run four pay-per-views a year. This is one move TNA is doing that I actually agree with, and would like to see WWE revert back to. Anyway, here are my thoughts on who will win at TNA’s first pay-per-view of 2013.

DOC vs. Sting: I do not care about Sting at all at this point, and it would really benefit DOC to take home the victory. Having said that, ..click here to read more , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

2 years ago

TNA Impact Wrestling Results & January 10 Recap: Hogan Knows Best

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This week’s edition of Impact Wrestling opens up with Sting, which leads me to believe we’ll get a long-winded promo full of nonsensical yelling. Sting is accompanied by Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe, and this leads me to believe the main event will be made into a 6-man. Sting says he told the world he’d come back last week, and he did. That was the beginning, and he’s just getting started.

This Sunday at Genesis, he’s looking for DOC. As for tonight, he’s feeling a little bit frisky. He didn’t come alone, bringing his close friends. Aces and Eights, you are invited to come get some. Joe takes the mic and says that, last week, A and E may have had him out manned, but they learned they didn’t have him outdone. Tonight, he’s putting them on notice. When you get in Joe’s face, Joe is going to beat you down, ..click here to read more , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

2 years ago

TNA Impact Wrestling Results & January 3 Recap – Sting Returns

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Tonight, Sting returns. Again.

Jeremy Borash is in the ring, and we are opening the show with the winner of TNA Wrestler of the Year 2012. He introduces each potential winner, one-by-one. Bully Ray is out first, followed by James Storm, Austin Aries, Bobby Roode and finally Jeff Hardy. Gee, I wonder who will win this. The finalists are all on stage as Jeremy Borash, getting fatter by the second, announces the winner from the ring. Roode and Aries begin to storm the ring as JB announces Jeff Hardy as the winner. They’re both pissed as Hardy walks down to the ring to claim his trophy. Hardy says the trophy means as much to him as the World Championship does. He wanted to have a great 2012, and he did. Roode tells him to cut the crap. Did he just hear Hardy say people’s votes mean as much as the title? ..click here to read more , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

2 years ago

TNA Impact Wrestling Results & December 27 Recap

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Tonight is the final Open Fight Night of the year. I wish it was the final OFN ever.

The show opens with Bully Ray making his way down to the ring. He says it’s very obvious that over the past couple of months there is no doubt he and Hulk Hogan cannot get along. He doesn’t know what he has to do to prove to Hogan that he can be trusted? He has a lot of respect for Hogan, and since it’s OFN, he wants to call Hogan out. He doesn’t want a fight, though; he wants to talk. Hogan’s music hits, but he isn’t coming out. Eventually, Brooke Hogan skanks her way down to the ring. Ray wants to know where her dad is. Brooke says he’s not here, and he knows about her and Ray. Someone must’ve told him about them. They need to go see him, and she ..click here to read more , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

2 years ago

TNA Impact Wrestling Results & December 20 Recap

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This week’s TNA Impact Wrestling starts with a message to the victims of the Sandy Hook shooting, which is a nice touch.

We see footage from earlier today of Austin Aries and Jeff Hardy entering the building. They face off in the main event tonight, with the World title on the line. This is “Championship Thursday”, which means we’ll see several pointless deliberations over who should get a title match. The title in question tonight is the KO title, and the potential challengers are Velvet Sky, ODB, Mickie James and Miss Tessmacher. I’ve decided that I’m not recapping the deliberation segments on these episodes anymore. They are beyond pointless, as is the entire idea behind the segments, especially when you consider that a title has never changed hands as a result.

The show is going to kick off with a TV title match.

MATCH 1-World Television Championship: Kurt Angle vs. Devon (Champion) Angle’s left ..click here to read more , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

2 years ago

TNA Impact Wrestling Results & December 6 Recap – It Pays To Be Roode

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TNA Final Resolution is this coming Sunday. I hope the 5,000 or so of you that order it enjoy it.

Anyway, Bobby Roode opens the Impact Wrestling show, and the new #1 contender for the World title is being flanked by Bad Influence. These three will compete against Jeff Hardy, James Storm and AJ Styles later tonight in a 6-man. Kaz calls the audience “chodes”, because he still thinks it’s 1995 & “Beavis and Butt-Head” is still cutting edge. He calls this “Throwback Thursday”, because this is the best part of the most dominant group in TNA history, that being Fortune. That’s all in the past, and they’re concerned for the future. The future in regards to Sunday is something we have never experienced in life, and that’s victory.

Roode says that, every day, people make guarantees, including himself. The difference between him and everyone else, when he makes a guarantee, it ..click here to read more , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

2 years ago

TNA Impact Wrestling Results & November 22 Recap – Thanksgiving Open Fight Night

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Tonight is once again TNA Impact Wrestling Open Fight Night and we’re starting the show off with Gut Check. Wes Brisco is the Gut Check contestant for the evening, and his opponent is…Garett Bischoff. Hmm. Wes Brisco, a talented 2nd generation star with a good amount of experience, has to prove himself against Garett Bischoff, who is considered the established star in this match, despite being greener than goose sh*t? Anyone else see the problem here?

MATCH 1-Gut Check: Wes Brisco vs. Garett Bischoff Wes starts out with a waistlock takedown. Garett fights out of the hold with elbows, then hits a takedown of his own. Wes reverses a front chancery with a hammerlock into an arm wringer, which Garett counters. Wes hits a fireman’s carry takedown but misses a legdrop. Garett hits an armdrag and misses an elbow. Kurt Angle walks down to ringside to apparently play cheerleader for this match. ..click here to read more , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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