Subscribe

Mickie James Frustrated With TNA Wrestling

May 13, 2013 By: Category: WWE | Pro Wrestling

Mickie James has always been a popular with pretty solid fan support for the last several years. Some of those fans had hoped that Mickie would be given the chance to steal the show in TNA Wrestling. Unfortunately she has been able to make little impact and according to her, it’s frustrating.

Mickie’s jump to TNA has turned into a case of grass not always being greener on the other side. Mickie was given the ball in the WWE and shined in her feud with Trish Stratus, arguably making an entire career off of one feud. Her fans have always been vocal and most were excited when she ditched Piggy James for the bright lights of the Knockouts division. A few years later I think it is fair to say that the bloom is off of the rose.

I thought I was the only one but it appears that I am joined by many who find that Mickie hasn’t been used enough in TNA. Mickie gets it herself and to her credit, is responding to those frustrated fans and interviewers during her most recent media tour. Time off is nice but Mickie is also not quite sure why she isn’t getting the ring time these days that most expect from the former Divas and Knockouts champion.

I think this is a conscious decision I’ve made within myself,” James told Scott Fishman in an interview with the Miami Herald. “I wanted to be more real with myself and my fans because I feel like I have been sitting at home a lot lately and more than I should. Especially, while knowing who I am in the ring and what I’ve done and accolades I have and the level of wrestler that I am when it comes to females in this industry. I feel like often times that gets overlooked, which is bull because if I was a male in this industry that would not happen. But because I’m a woman in this ever-changing cycle of sex sells, this sells or that sells.

At the end of the day there are very few and far between of those who can stand toe-to-toe at the same level…That is what frustrates me. I can’t stand sitting on the sidelines and watching. I don’t think anybody as a professional or as an entertainer or as an athlete can stand. If I was injured, then that’s one thing, but to be completely 100 percent healthy and be doing absolutely nothing. To me, it built up my frustration up to the point of being just pussyfooting around as the girl-next-door with a big smile on my face and happy about every little thing when in reality I’m frustrated.

The frustrations are clear and I can’t say I blame her. I look up and down the Knockouts roster and in terms of star-power I don’t think there is anyone as well known in the division than Mickie. In addition to her wrestling fame I can’t find anyone on the roster who is a better entertainer and/or worker in the ring. With declining ratings you’d think that TNA would want to spice up the broadcast more with Mickie yet they haven’t.

I have watched Mickie going back to her days on the independent circuit as Alexis Laree and I have always found her to be one of the most solid workers in pro wrestling period. I watch Impact from time to time and I just don’t see anyone there other than Gail Kim who can hang with her. How she wound up on the outside looking in is a good question someone needs to answer in TNA.

The funny thing about the ratings in TNA is that the Knockouts have always done well. Dixie Carter seemed to be a big fan of Mickie when she first came in so unless something has changed I would have to assume she has support from the boss. Her lack of airtime is just another one of those inept strategies and missed opportunities you see weekly on Impact Wrestling.

The easy answer here is a hope that she’d return to the WWE. I doubt that is going to happen. She described the Divas division in this same interview as being different as when she wrestled there and doesn’t believe they have the level of trust from the company that she and her colleagues had during her run.

WWE: WrestleMania 29 DVD

WWE: The Best of In Your House

Grab discounted WWE DVDs, merchandise, t -shirts, figures, and more from the WWE Shop on Amazon.com

TNA Impact Wrestling Results and May 2 Recap

May 04, 2013 By: Category: WWE | Pro Wrestling

Shock of shocks, Hulk Hogan is opening this week’s Impact. On a side note for a moment, I would like to thank friend of CCB Brett Clendaniel, Jr. for his kind words in regards to my writing, especially in regards to my Impact recaps. Loyal support such as his makes this gig worthwhile. Anyway, Hogan says things almost came to blows between him and Sting last week, so we need to find out exactly what’s up with Sting right now. Sting makes his way out, and he very cautiously approaches the ring. Hogan tells him that all the business between them is out there, so let’s call things like we see them. Last week didn’t end with a pretty picture, and they almost came to blows. Before that, though, Hogan knows when he is right and wrong.

He got caught up between a bunch of personal stuff and business stuff. At the end of the day, when it came to making choices, Hogan was wrong, and he ran some of his friends off. The one he made the biggest mistake with was Sting, so he’s apologizing for that right now. Hogan offers a handshake, and Sting accepts. Hogan continues on, saying he should have been pulling Sting closer, and they should have been working together against Aces and Eights. Sting tells him they are together right now. It’s water under the bridge, and now, he has a request. He wants a 6-man next week against A and E, with him picking two partners. Hogan agrees to it. Tonight, however, the business at hand is to determine who faces Bully Ray at Slammiversary for the title.

Matt Morgan comes out and says that this is the part when Hogan hands a jerk-off another title match. Has he learned nothing? Hogan tells him his biggest fault is him running his mouth without knowing everything. From now on, there are no more handouts, and everyone who wants a top spot has to earn it. Before Morgan got in his face, he was going to say that the man who faces Bully Ray will not be Sting or Morgan. The man who takes that spot will be the winner of the main event tonight when it’s Matt Morgan vs. Sting. That’s what Hogan sees in his crystal ball, brother.

Video package for Chris Sabin, and he reflects on his back-to-back knee injuries and the rehabilitation process following them. Sabin has rehabbed for two full years worth of time across the two injuries. He is in action up next in his first match back.

Kurt Angle is pacing in the training room. He says Aces and Eights have taken over the company and taken the title, and tonight, he challenges any of those sonsofbitches to faces him in the ring one-on-one. They can beat him, but they can’t stop him.

MATCH 1-3-Way X-Division Match: Sonjay Dutt vs. Zema Ion vs. Chris Sabin
Dutt gets the jobber non-entrance, so hope for him is already very low. Sabin finally has new music. Ion slaps Sabin, and now Sabin & Dutt punch him, knocking him to the floor. Crisscross ends with a running hurricanrana by Dutt, followed by a deep armdrag into an armbar. Dutt breaks the hold to knock Ion off the apron before going back to Sabin. Sabin with a sunset flip, but Dutt lays on top of him. Sabin escapes and hits an enziguri for 2. They trade waistlocks with Sabin ending up on top. Ion comes in with a slingshot sunset flip, sending them both over and getting 2 on Sabin. Ion chokes Sabin in the corner, then hits a double kneedrop to the back. Dutt gets a hotshot from Ion, and Sabin comes back up and hits some chops. Ion pulls Sabin down by the hair, and the three end up in a weird backslide pin for 2. Sabin turns Ion into a modified surfboard, and Dutt breaks that up with a dropkick to Ion’s face. We learn that, in next week’s 3-way, Suicide makes his return. Yay. Wonder which member of Bad Influence will be playing the part? Anyway, Dutt hits some forearms on Sabin and goes for the Asai DDT, but Sabin counters into a fireman’s carry. Dutt escapes and hits a spinning headscissors that he turns into a DDT. Running shooting star press by Dutt, but Ion breaks up the pin. Dutt gets up and hits Ion, but Ion blocks a kick and hits a quick DDT for 2. Ion goes for a back suplex, but Dutt escapes and blocks a roll-up. He hits a thrust kick on Ion and Sabin hits a kick on Dutt before dropping Ion with a clothesline. Sabin counters a hurricanrana into a powerbomb on Dutt, then holds on and turns it into a DVD. Dutt gets placed in the Tree of Woe, and Ion gets overhead belly-to-belly suplexed into Dutt. Sabin hits a sit-out Y2K Bomb on Ion for 3.

WINNER: Chris Sabin.

We see Jesse and Robbie E in the back rambling about some movie Jesse is starring in, then it turns into something about facing Rob Terry in a 3-on-1 handicap match. He holds up a picture of Joey Ryan, telling E that he should be their other partner.

Elsewhere, we see Bully Ray, with A and E behind him. He talks about Hogan and Sting mocking the group. They’re the frickin’ Aces and Eights. Nobody mocks them. Now he’s gotta worry about Morgan vs. Sting. Newsflash: he ain’t worrying about either one. No matter who he gets in Boston, he’ll get the job done. That brings us to Kurt Angle. Angle has been a thorn in the club’s ass since day one. No matter how hard they knock him down, he keeps getting back up. He wants Angle taken out, the same way Ray took care of Hardy. Who’s it gonna be? Wes Brisco steps up and says he wants it. Garett Bischoff then volunteers. D’Lo Brown steps between them and says he’ll do it. He’s been responsible for Aces and Eights, and he’s going to be the one responsible for taking out Angle. He guarantees he’ll get the job done, then swears his “colors” on. You know, I’ve wanted D’Lo in a main event since never. Good for TNA for making a nightmare into reality.

MATCH 2-3-on-1 Handicap Match: Jesse, Robbie E and Joey Ryan vs. Rob Terry
Ryan starts the match for his team and immediately gets clubbed down. He crawls to the corner, and Terry hits him with a running back elbow, followed by a back body drop. Jesse distracts Terry by pulling his tights, and Terry kicks him to the floor. Ryan attacks Terry’s knee and tags Jesse in, who hits some shots. E tags in and hits some forearms to the back. Jesse back in, and he begins kicking Terry. E back in, and he hits some forearms before applying a sleeper. Terry picks him up on his back, then rams E into the corner to break the hold. Terry misses a corner charge, and E capitalizes with some shoulder thrusts. Ryan tags in, and he has words with E for a moment before getting hit with a front powerslam. The three attack Terry, and he shoves them all off before hitting them with clotheslines and back elbows. Double back suplex on E and Jesse, and Ryan gets hit with what is apparently now called the Beast Bomb for 3.

WINNER: Rob Terry.

We see Austin Aries and Bobby Roode in the building. They’re apparently on their way to the ring.

Roode and Aries make their way out. Roode says Bad Influence played their mind games last week, and it got into his head a bit. They talked about reforming Fourtune, but this was never really about that. This was about BI’s jealousy of Roode and Aries & the World Tag Team titles, the same titles BI cost them last week. Aries says he didn’t believe BI for a second. BI are best friends. He and Roode barely like each other. But, they like each other enough to achieve a common goal. They don’t tell jokes; they go out to win championships. They are a team of World Champions, something Christopher Daniels and Kazarian will never know a thing about. BI make their way out on this note. Daniels tells Roode he was right about one thing: it was about the championships. However, Roode and Aries were wrong about being the next champions or even being a good team. Everyone knows they are a pale imitation of the best team in the business. Next week, the two teams face off with a title match on the line. Spoiler alert: it’s Bad Influence. Roode reminds us he cracked a beer bottle over his best friend’s head to be World Champion, and he’ll do whatever it takes with Aries to become champions again. Kaz says they can never “out-us us”, and Aries/Roode are nothing but Bad Influence-lite.

Now it’s time for Chavo Guerrero and Hernandez to make this segment intolerable. Chavo says time for talk is over, and it’s time for action. Next week, there will be action. Hulk Hogan named a special referee for next week’s match. As much as he or Hernandez would love that spot, it’s neither of them. The referee likes to count in 6 and 12-packs. Yep, it’s James Storm.

Sting enters the training room, where Kurt Angle is taping his knee. Sting asks him if he’s ready, then says he needs a minute alone with Angle.

Tara and Gail Kim are in a dressing room somewhere, complaining about Taryn Terrell. Kim says they need to embarrass her and Mickie James tonight, and she’s going to make sure she gets the victory.

We get another Chris Sabin video, with this one filmed just after the match from earlier tonight. He’s glad to be back, and it’s the greatest feeling in the world.

Angle/Brown is up next. As the two are in the ring, the fans begin chanting “U-S-A!”. Makes sense, since we all know D’Lo Brown is from Lichtenstein. Before the match, Brown says he told his brothers he’d beat Angle in the middle of the ring. But as he stands here, that won’t be good enough. He needs to humiliate Angle, so tonight, he’s going to do something no one has ever done before: he’s going to beat Angle in an “I Quit” Match.

MATCH 3-“I Quit” Match: D’Lo Brown vs. Kurt Angle
Ugh. I can’t believe I have to recap this. Oh, wait. It’s TNA. Of course I can believe it. I just wish I didn’t have to. As Angle agrees to the match stipulation, Brown hits him in the head with the mic. Angle comes back with rights and a clothesline. Single-leg takedown by Angle, and he turns it into a modified STF. The ref asks if Brown wants to quit, and he won’t. We see Mr. Anderson and a couple other A and E members come to ringside through the crowd. Angle gets distracted, which allows Brown to hit a suplex. He rolls to the outside, dragging Angle to the floor and throwing him shoulder-first intot he ring post. He grabs the ring bell hammer and goes to nail Angle, but Angle moves. Brown continues the attack on the left arm, wrapping it around the post. Angle won’t quit, so Brown slams the arm into the mat and rolls Angle back in the ring. Snapmare by Brown, and he begins stomping on the arm before hitting a legdrop. Brown with an arm wringer now, but Angle fights out before running into a jumping side kick. Thanks to the extra 100 lbs., Brown could barely get himself up there. Brown applies a jujigatame, and Angle says, “Hell no!” in response to whether or not he wants to quit. Angle breaks the hold by countering into the ankle lock, but Brown kicks him off and hits a clothesline. Taz tells us Brown has never looked better. Uh-huh. Brown applies a cobra clutch, and Angle still won’t quit. Angle armdrags out of it, ducks a clothesline and hits the Murder-Suicide. After three, Angle holds on for a fourth. Then a fifth. Brown tells the referee to kick his ass, and Angle hits a sixth German suplex. I remember a dead guy once doing that. Wonder if he somehow stole it from Angle, despite doing it several years beforehand? I’m sure we’ll find out in a supposedly drunken tweet. Angle applies the ankle lock, but Brown kicks him off once more. Angle charges in, and Brown counters into a Samoan drop. Brown is back up first, and he sets Angle up for a powerbomb. Angle counters into a sunset flip and rolls through into an ankle lock. Brown tries to fight out, but Angle cinches it in and grapevines the leg. Brown taps, but that doesn’t count, and the ref reminds him of such. Brown then screams “I quit!” into the mic.

WINNER: Kurt Angle. Aces and Eights head back through the crowd without taking Brown with them. Christy Hemme stops Angle on the ramp and asks if this was revenge for him. Angle says he won a battle, but now he has his mind on someone else, and that is AJ Styles. He wants AJ out here right now and knows he’s here. Commercials.

Back from the break, Angle is still in the ring calling for AJ Styles to come out. Another “U-S-A!” chant breaks out. This also makes sense, since AJ is originally from Vatican City. AJ finally comes down the ramp and gets in the ring, getting in Angle’s face in the process. Angle backs up and says AJ doesn’t look the same, like he wants to take Angle’s head off. Before he does that, he won’t get very far since this is Angle’s hometown (it’s actually not). So, everyone wants to recruit AJ. Going with A and E would be the easy way out. Angle has taken the easy way and gotten a lot of success, but that’s not AJ’s way. AJ is the reason he came to TNA, and they had some of the greatest matches of all time. He knows AJ is in a dark time and he understands that, but next week, he and Sting are taking on A and E, and they need him. If AJ stands with them, that’s cool. If not, they have problems. Next week, the choice belongs to AJ.

AI asks Matt Morgan about waiting for tonight’s opportunity. Morgan screams and rants about how he’s pissed off, and tonight, he’s taking the ball. Tonight, he “guts through” Sting, and at Slammiversary, he “guts through” Bully Ray, and you’re looking at the next World Champion. GAARRRRRHHHH!

MATCH 4: Gail Kim and Tara vs. Taryn Terrell and Mickie James
Taryn begins attacking both heels until Tara holds her for a shot. James grabs Kim from behind, and the faces ram their heads together, knocking them to the floor. Kim and Tara argue as Taryn kicks them both through the ropes before rolling Kim back in the ring. Kim gets sent to the corner for a clothesline. James makes a blind tag. Taryn hits a snapmare, and James hits a seated dropkick for 2. James botches a rolling jujigatame, but Kim gets to the ropes. As James argues with referee ODB, Kim nails her with a shot. They trade punches until Kim kicks James in the gut and hits some forearms to the face. James ducks a clothesline and botches an enziguri for 2. Kim backs James into the corner with a shoulder thrust, but James blocks a charge with a back elbow. Kim blocks the Tunacanrana, but knocks James to the floor as Tara causes a distraction. Tara rolls James back in the ring, where Kim hits a short-arm clothesline. She throws James into Tara’s boot, and now Tara tags in, with the heels double-stomping James to the mat. Tara hangs James by her hair, then drops her on her face. Tara drops an elbow for 2 before knocking Taryn to the floor. Back to James, Tara applies an inverted STF, and Taryn breaks up the hold with a stomp. Kim back in, and she throws James to the corner. This time, James connects with the Tunacanrana, and then both women go for a cross-body at the same time, crashing in the middle of the ring. Tara and Taryn tag in, and Taryn hits a couple of clotheslines, a back elbow and a snap suplex. Up top, Taryn connects with a cross-body for 2 as Kim breaks it up. James comes in and botches a roundhouse on Kim. Tara knocks James down, and Taryn rolls Tara up for the 3.

WINNERS: Mickie James and Taryn Terrell. It’s a bit disturbing that Kenely kept referring to Taryn as a “hot mess”. After the match, Tara and Kim attack the faces. James and Tara brawl up the ramp as Kim beats on Taryn in the ring, hitting Eat Defeat and ramming Taryn’s head into the mat before dragging her to the ringpost for Bret Hart’s figure-4 around the post spot until ODB and several other referees break up the hold.

We see Aces and Eights in the back once more, and Bully Ray is pissed about D’Lo Brown saying “I quit” earlier tonight. Brown swore his “colors” on victory and said, “I quit”? Garett starts talking smack, and Ray says that, just because Brown was a douche to him doesn’t mean he can be a douch to Brown. He’s going to take care of Brown next week. Also next week is the 6-man, and he’s picking Devon and Anderson as his partners.

Bobby Roode talks about Bad Influence and how neither member has been World Champion while he and Austin Aries have. They will, without a shadow of a doubt, walk into Tupelo, MS and become the new #1 contenders, and Chavo & Hernandez know they can’t hold a candle to Roode and Aries.

MATCH 5-Winner becomes the new #1 Contender for the World Championship: Matt Morgan vs. Sting
Looks like TNA is having Morgan wear Hogan’s cape again. Lock-up to start the match, and Morgan immediately backs Sting into the corner for a kneelift before headbutting Sting to the mat. Morgan with a foot choke near the ropes, but Sting begins to fight back. Morgan cuts him off with a kneelift, then follows up with a clothesline. Morgan chokes Sting in the corner, then hits another headbutt. Sting fights back with punches and backhands until Morgan goozles him and hits a chokeslam for 2. Commercials.

Back from the break, Morgan is dominating sting on the outside. Sting tries a comeback and manages to slam Morgan into the steps. Morgan no-sells it, hits a kneelift and rolls Sting back in the ring, where he foot-chokes him. Morgan rolls outside and drags Sting’s head to the apron, where he hits an apron legdrop. Morgan gets back on the apron for another one, but misses it when Sting rolls out of the way. Sting throws Morgan into the guardrail, then throws him into it on the opposite side of the ring. Sting rakes the eyes and slams Morgan’s face into the steps before rolling him into the ring. Morgan reverses a corner whip and hits Sting with a sidewalk slam for 2. Morgan chokes Sting, then sits across Sting’s back a couple of times. Morgan then goes for the pin after mocking Hogan, getting 2. Morgan hits a short-arm clothesline, and Sting comes back with some rights. Morgan cuts him off with a kneelift again and hits a bodyslam before missin an elbow drop. Sting avoids a corner charge and hits some rights, followed by a pair of clotheslines. Sting with a slo-mo Stinger Splash, but Morgan shakes it off and throws Sting to the corner for some back elbow strikes. Sting no-sells and throws Morgan to the corner for a clothesline and goes for the Stinger Splash once more, but runs into the Carbon Footprint for 2. Sting goes to the corner and Morgan calls for the Footprint again. He very weakly misses it in the corner, and Sting kicks him in the leg a few times before applying the scorpion deathlock, barely getting it on. After a minute or so, Morgan manages to get a rope break. Sting drags him back into the ring and reapplies the hold, getting him into the center of the ring, but still applying it pretty weakly. Sting eventually sits all the way down onto Morgan’s back, and Morgan eventually passes out.

WINNER AND NEW #1 CONTENDER: Sting. TNA basically lifted the Austin/Hart spot from Wrestlemania 13, minus the blood, only it wasn’t nearly as good. As Sting is celebrating, Aces and Eights come to the ring and surround Sting, with Bully Ray talking trash.

End of show.

As always, feel free to follow me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/xdustineflx ,and if you like Married…With Children, you can follow my Al Bundy parody account at http://www.twitter.com/bundyisms. Also follow my personal blog at http://nerdslikeme.blogspot.com (feedback is welcome). Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out my mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:

Gerri Davis Banner, NPC National Level Heavyweight and Masters Female Bodybuilder

Thanks for reading, and as long as Spike TV still fronts the bill, I’ll see you next week.

WWE: WrestleMania 29 DVD

WWE: For All Mankind- The Life and Career of Mick Foley- with Mr. Socko Sock Puppet (Limited Edition)

Grab discounted WWE DVDs, merchandise, t -shirts, figures, and more from the WWE Shop on Amazon.com

TNA Impact Wrestling Results and April 25 Recap

April 28, 2013 By: Category: WWE | Pro Wrestling

TNA Impact Wrestling opens with Aces and Eights entering the building and being stopped by security. Bully Ray isn’t impressed and tells them to get out of their way, or “Mr. A#$hole” will bite their faces off. Uh, yeah…

We’re apparently in Indiana, PA this week. In the arena, James Storm makes his way out. Storm is limping from AJ Styles’ “Calf Killer” from last week. Yes, that’s the name for AJ’s new finisher. Storm talks about fighting AJ last week, and we see AJ standing in the crowd. Storm tells him the new hold hurt like hell, and he can also admit AJ was the better man. However, he’s not going to cry over spilt milk because he’s a beer drinker. What he didn’t sign up for last week was the “Aces and Idiots” that jumped him from behind. If they wanted a fight, all they had to do was ask. He knows if he calls one of them out, all of them will come out. That’s fine. Bring all you want, because he’ll take you out.

Bad Influence make their way out. Christopher Daniels says BI wants to weigh in. Last week, they were victims of A and E as well. Hulk Hogan doesn’t have an answer to this problem. However, the two smartest men in the room know the answer. Aces and Eights has been playing a numbers game. TNA has the magic number, and that’s four, as in “Fourtune”. Kazarian tells AJ that life can be better, and first off is forgiving himself for his cheap shots on them last week. They forgive him. The next step is to walk down the stairs, get in the ring and reform Fourtune tonight, because it’s the right thing to do. Storm says the fans want BI to shut the hell up. Kaz won’t shut up because the people don’t concern them. Just like these people, Storm is irrelevant. He starts brawling with BI until Kaz absolutely botches a Golden Globes spot in the corner. AJ is still staring on as A and E come through the crowd into the ring. BI have left, and Storm is alone in the ring. They surround him and Mr. Anderson grabs him in the powerbomb position as the other members bring a table into the ring. Joesph Park runs down and takes down a couple members of the group until they gang-attack him. D’Lo Brown sets the table back up, and DOC & Knux go to double chokeslam him. Bully Ray tells them to back off so he and Devon can hit the 3D through the table, which they do.

Back from the break, Park is being hauled out on a stretcher. Bully Ray has a mic and says he told everyone A and E weren’t screwing around. They are the Aces and Eights. They are the men responsible for all of the carnage. They are the men responsible for taking out everyone’s heroes. Look around. You ain’t got no heroes left (his words). No Samoa Joe. No Magnus. No James Storm. No Joseph Park. Nobody. Last week, he called out one man, and that was Hulk Hogan, his next victim. Dad, you’ve got ‘til the end of the show to answer the challenge. When you ride with the Aces and Eights, you never walk alone.

According to Mike Tenay, Hulk Hogan has left the building and didn’t tell anyone why.

Video for tonight’s Knockouts Championship match with comments from Mickie James. She talks about being tired of being ignored in TNA. Just a thought, but maybe if she wasn’t off recording awful country music that no one likes, maybe she wouldn’t get ignored.

AI sees Hulk Hogan entering the building, and asks him where he went. Hulk ignores him.

MATCH 1: Taryn Terrell vs. Tara
Taryn ducks a clothesline and hits some forearms, followed by a corner clothesline and a flipping neckbreaker. Pair of hairmares by Taryn, and she then rams Tara’s head into the top turnbuckle until Tara hits her with a Stun Gun. Tara slams Taryn’s face into the mat a few times, then hair-whips her across the ring. Catapult in the corner by Tara, and she goes back to slamming Taryn’s face into the mat. Tara applies an inverted STF, then snaps back to break the hold and goes for the cover, getting 2. Another pin, and another 2-count. Taryn blocks a back body drop, but runs right into a tree slam. Taryn fights back from her knees until Tara forearms in the back of the head, getting 2. She rolls Taryn over for another pin, getting 2 once more. Tara rolls Taryn under the bottom rope and catapults her into the rope for another 2. Tara once again goes for an immediate second pin attempt, then does it again. Bodyslam near the ropes, but Tara misses the Arabian Facebuster. Taryn fights out of the corner and hair-whips Tara, hits a clothesline, a back elbow and a suplex. Up top, Taryn misses a cross-body, and Tara begins with the trash-talk. She picks Taryn up in the Spider’s Web, which connects. Taryn counters the standing moonsault into a schoolgirl and gets 3.

WINNER: Taryn Terrell.

Robbie T is in the back texting someone. Didn’t know he still worked here. Jesse enters the room, and he’s apparently taking on Rob Terry. E verbally fellates Jesse and tells him that, when he beats Terry, he’ll go down as one of the greatest bros of all time, and E will be there right by his side.

Before the next match, Robbie E comes out to introduce the man who will beat Rob Terry, bro. He’s a real Hollywood superstar unlike all of the hamsters in Indiana, PA: “Mr. Pec-Tacular”, Jesse Godderz, bro.

MATCH 2: Rob Terry vs. Jesse (w/Robbie E)
Terry immediately hits a pair of clotheslines and a back elbow. Corner whip into a running powerslam by Terry, but he drops Jesse as E jumps up on the apron. Jesse charges in, and Terry goozles him and backs him to a corner before throwing him across the ring. E jumps on the apron again as Terry charges in, and Jesse hits him from behind with some kicks and elbows. He tries to throw Terry into the corner, but Terry blocks it and throws him in for some forearm shots. He misses a running elbow, and Jesse hits a dropkick. Jesse hits some forearms to the chest and gets a 1-count. Terry shoves him off, so he mounts the middle rope. Terry catches the cross-body attempt and hits an over-the-shoulder powerslam for 2 as E pulls at the referee’s leg. Terry goes outside and stalks E. Jesse tries to attack from behind, but Terry sees it coming and throws Jesse into E before pressing Jesse back into the ring. Terry hits the Freakbuster and gets 3.

WINNER: Rob Terry.
Bad Influence approach Bobby Roode in the locker room area. Kaz says there’s only one way to stop A and E, and that’s Fourtune. They were a dominant faction, and that dominance was taken away from them. Daniels cuts in and says that no one knows AJ better than him. If the three of them stand together, there’s no way AJ can say “no” to them. Think about it. The camera pans over, and we see that Austin Aries has been eavesdropping on the conversation.

Video package for Chris Sabin, who is set to return any time now. I just hope he took enough time away this time. If you recall last time, he was out with an injured knee, came back, and injured it again only a couple of weeks after his return.

We see Aries and Roode warming up in the back. Aries asks Roode about the Fourtune reunion. If Roode wants to do that, that’s his business. They’re not best friends; just dominant champions. If Fourtune was so great, how come they vanished? If BI are so great, how come Aries was the man who beat Roode? Tonight, he wants the tag belts back, and if Roode doesn’t want to work with him, he’s screwing himself.

MATCH 3-World Tag Team Championship: Chavo Guerrero and Hernandez (Champions) vs. Austin Aries and Bobby Roode
Christopher Daniels is on commentary for this match, with Kazarian at his side. Aries and Chavo start the match, and the crowd is not even remotely into the champions. Lock-up to start, with Aries going into an arm wringer. Chavo counters into a snapmare, goes for the pin, and we get a stalemate immediately. Aries applies a side headlock into a waistlock takedown, then shows off a bit before Chavo dropkicks him. Chavo hits a European uppercut, then fires off some rights in the corner. Aries gets sent hard into the opposite corner, and Chavo hits a back suplex for 2. Chavo ducks a clothesline and goes for a headscissors, and Aries counters into a pancake. Roode reluctantly tags in and gets hit with a hiptoss. Hernandez in, and they do their bodyslam/Warrior Splash spot for 2. Hernandez goes for a suplex off a back body drop attempt, but Hernandez counters into a delayed vertical. Aries comes in and chops Hernandez, so Hernandez Warrior Presses him before heading outside to the ramp. He goes for Air Mexico, but Roode moves out of the way and Hernandez eats canvas. Roode gets 2 off a pin, then throws Hernandez to the corner for some punches and kicks. Aries tags in as Roode hits a suplex, and Aries hits a tope con hilo for 2. Back up, Aries boxes the ears and tags in Roode. Hernandez tries to fight out of the corner, but Roode cuts him off and hits a pair of Venis kneelifts, followed by a side-Russian legsweep for 2. Aries tags in and stomps Hernandez in the chest as Roode holds him in a modified surfboard. Aries applies a front chancery, then breaks it to knock Chavo to the floor. Roode back in, and sends Aries in for the corner dropkick. Hernandez catches him, however, and then sends him to the corner. Chavo tags in and hits a tope con hilo on Aries, followed by a spinning headscissors on Roode. Chavo goes for the 3 Amigos, but Aries escapes the second suplex. Chavo comes back with a rolling kick, then hits a tornado DDT on Roode for 2 as Aries breaks it up. Hernandez comes in and clotheslines Aries to the floor. He goes for the Border Toss on Roode as Chavo climbs to the top. Kaz causes a distraction as Aries pushes Chavo off the top. In the ring, Roode hits a spinebuster on Hernandez, and now Aries goes up top. Hernandez kicks Roode off into the corner, which sends Aries crashing to the floor. Hernandez goes for the Border Toss on Roode once more as Kaz is back up on the apron. Daniels slides into the ring and kicks Hernandez. He goes for a clothesline, but Hernandez ducks, causing Daniels to collide with Roode. Hernandez sends Daniels to the floor, and Chavo hits a frog splash on Roode for the 3.

WINNERS AND STILL CHAMPIONS: Chavo Guerrero and Hernandez.

AI approaches Matt Morgan in the weight room. Morgan recites the same promo he always does. He then says he has a solution to the A and E problem, and he’s going out to the ring to tell everyone what it is.

Matt Morgan comes out and says his issues over the last year have been about one issue (?): Mistakes made by Hulk Hogan. He then lists off Hulk’s mistakes. Bully Ray won the title, A and E are stronger than ever, and the company is imploding around Hulk. Sting was ejected from TNA, and now, Jeff Hardy has been laid out. You see, Hulk, before you come out and go face-to-face with Bully Ray, allow Morgan to present to you the ultimate solution to all of your problems. I hope he’s not talking about Jeep Swenson. Hulk Hogan comes out. Morgan tells Hulk he has no more backup, so by going out against Ray by himself, he’s delaying the inevitable, which is that A and E are going to destroy him. Hulk has no one left, so Morgan presents the solution: himself. Hulk, at the end of the day, no one wants this opportunity more than him. No one on this roster can eliminate A and E better than him. He is Hulk’s 7’ knight in shining armor. And, if given the opportunity tonight, he will Carbon Footprint Ray’s head into the 5th row…for a small price, of course. Morgan is all Hulk has, so he’ll handle Ray, and in turn, Hulk names Morgan the #1 contender at Slammiversary. Hulk says Morgan has brought him up to the edge, and a lot of what is being said is true. Morgan has the goods to get the job done, and he probably could do it. At the end of the day though, he was hoping Morgan would do the right thing. Morgan stole his robe and has verbally abused him day-after-day. Hulk hoped Morgan would be the 2nd coming of “The Mania”, brother. At the end of the day, though, Morgan wants to do it for the wrong reason. If he agrees to Morgan’s demands, it’ll be a bigger mistake than what happened with Ray. At the end of the day, he’s going to step into the ring with Ray and do this by himself. He’s not going to hand over anything to Morgan, and he never heard Andre the Giant whine like a bitch.

We see A and E in the back somewhere, celebrating taking out Joseph Park. Ray then says Hulk is held together by spit and glue and wants to go face-to-face with Ray. He then tells the rest of the group that he doesn’t want them out there with him.

Now, TNA is doing this where fans can vote who will be involved in the next triple threat match for the X-Division championship. The three options are just wonderful: Rashad Cameron, Rockstar Spud and Suicide. Yes, they’re trying to dust off that pile of crap gimmick again. Guess they didn’t learn from the fact that basing a character on a character from one of the worst wrestling games of all time wasn’t a good idea.

MATCH 4-Knockouts Championship: Mickie James vs. Velvet Sky (Champion)
Lock-up, with Sky going into an armbar. James counters into an armdrag for 1, then applies an arm wringer. Sky flips through and trips James for 1. James dodges a dropkick and gets 1 off a pin. Sky applies a side headlock, then shoulders James off the ropes. Crisscross ends in a Snapmare by Sky, followed by a kick to the back and a seated dropkick for 2. Sky hits some forearms and shoulder thrusts in the corner. James counters a whip, and Sky leaps over her back to avoid the charge. However, she acts like her knee hurts, and James goes for the pin, getting 2. James then applies a step-over toehold as we go to commercials.

Back from the break, James has Sky in a legbar, then yanks on the knee before going back to the toehold. Sky rolls up and counters into her own, and James counters into a sloppy STF. Sky breaks the hold with the ropes, then kicks James off. Sky elbows out of the corner, hits a pair of jumping clotheslines, then remembers to sell her knee. Some chops to the chest, but James blocks them and goes for a corner whip. Sky collapses to the mat before she gets to the corner. She blocks a roll-up attempt and hits a side-Russian legsweep for 2. James gets back up, kicks the bad knee and botches an enziguri. Up top, James hits a Thesz Press for 2. Sky gets back up, boots James in the stomach and goes for In Yo Face, but James counters into a back body drop. James boots Sky in the stomach and goes for the standing tornado, but Sky pushes her off into the corner. James dropkicks the bad knee, then goes for a roll-up, but Sky counters into her own roll-up for the 3, despite the fact that James was in the ropes.

WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: Velvet Sky.

We see Devon and Bully Ray in the back, and Ray tells Devon he’s done with Brooke, so Devon can have her. He reminds Devon they’re the greatest team of all time and are both now singles champions, leading a pack of wolves. He took out Jeff Hardy last week, and Hardy may be done for good. In a few minutes, he’s going to look straight into his father-in-law’s soul, and he’s going to be the guy who puts the final nail in the coffin of Hulkamania.

Brooke and Hulk Hogan are in the back, and Brooke is trying to talk Hulk out of going to the ring. Hulk says Bully Ray screwed over their family and the business, and he needs to stop it. Brooke reminds him he just had a knee replacement a few weeks ago, and that he can’t do this. Hulk tells her she can’t stop this, then asks for her hand and gives her his necklace, saying he’ll be right back.

Bully Ray makes his way out alone with a paper in his hand. It’s a list of everyone A and E has taken out, and D’Angelo Dinero is mentioned. I realize they took him out, but it’s odd hearing his name since he hasn’t been seen on TV in months. I honestly had forgotten he still worked in TNA. Anyway, Ray says what all these names have in common is that he and his boys took them all out, and there’s only one victim left. Hulk Hogan, get out here right now. Hulk comes out with his fists taped up, and he stands face-to-face with Ray. Ray asks how his knee is. Look at you. You got your fists taped up. You’re raring to go, aren’t ya? You can’t wait to hit the big boot and drop the big leg, huh? It ain’t gonna happen. You can walk down that ramp and step in this ring and try to fool the fans, but you will never fool him. As Ray looks into your eyes, he sees one thing and one thing only: pure fear. Hulk Hogan fears Bully Ray. You know why, Hulk? Because Ray reminds you of you. Ray is the last of a dying breed-your breed. Did you ever think Ray would be standing here? He’s Bull Ray. He’s the president of A and E. He’s the World Champion. He’s your son-in-law. He’s the guy that’s going to put an end to Hulkamania. Hulk finally talks and says Hulkamania will never die, brother. Ray turns his hat backwards and spits in Hulk’s face. Hulk starts ripping his shirt off, showing his physique that is approximately 812 years old. The two then point at each other, and Ray goes for a punch. Hulk blocks it, hits a couple and goes for a clothesline, but Ray bails to the outside. The rest of A and E come out and surround the ring. They start to climb in the ring when the lights go out. When they come back on, surprise surprise, Sting is in the ring, and he’s pointing his bat at Hulk. Ray is egging him on, so Sting begins pointing his bat at Ray. He knocks Ray’s hat off, then proceeds to take everyone out with his bat. Sting then points at Hulk with the bat again before walking away.

End of show.

As always, feel free to follow me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/xdustineflx ,and if you like Married…With Children, you can follow my Al Bundy parody account at http://www.twitter.com/bundyisms. Also follow my personal blog at http://nerdslikeme.blogspot.com (feedback is welcome). Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out my mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:

Gerri Davis Banner, NPC National Level Heavyweight and Masters Female Bodybuilder

Thanks for reading, and as long as Spike TV still fronts the bill, I’ll see you next week.

WWE: WrestleMania 29 DVD

WWE: For All Mankind- The Life and Career of Mick Foley- with Mr. Socko Sock Puppet (Limited Edition)

Grab discounted WWE DVDs, merchandise, t -shirts, figures, and more from the WWE Shop on Amazon.com

TNA Impact Wrestling Results and April 18 Recap

April 20, 2013 By: Category: WWE | Pro Wrestling

This week, TNA is once again in Corpus Christi, TX. The X-Division title will be on the line, and AJ Styles makes his in-ring return against James Storm.

We see Devon approach Tomax and Xamot somewhere in the back. He asks if they know what’s at stake tonight. Wes Brisco says he can beat Kurt Angle again. Garett Bischoff agrees. Devon doesn’t care what they say; he just wants them to get the job done.

MATCH 1-2-on-1 Handicap Match: Garett Bischoff and Wes Brisco vs. Kurt Angle
Apparently, the gang sign for Aces and Eights is the same as the Van Buren Boys. Now TNA has resorted to ripping off sitcoms. Wes starts off for his team, and Angle applies a waistlock before firing off some rights in the corner. He corner whips Wes, and Wes crashes to the mat. Angle then knocks Garett off the apron. Stomps in the corner on Wes, and Angle follows up with a suplex. He throws Wes to his own corner, where Garett tags himself in. Garett charges in and gets hit with a hip toss. Angle hits various strikes before stomping Garett to the mat, then picks him up and hits a back elbow. Wes comes in and gets hit with a back body drop. Commercials.

Back from the break, Angle is in control of Garett in the corner. Wes rolls into the ring and low-blows Angle behind the ref’s back. Garett begins stomping and punching Angle. He picks Angle up for some more punches, then grinds Angle’s face across the top rope. Garett flips off the crowd before hitting a suplex for 1. “You can’t wrestle!” chant starts at Wes tags in. He whips Garett into Angle in the corner, and Garett sends Angle into a clothesline by Wes for 1. Wes hits some punches and a clothesline in the corner, then rolls Angle over for another 1 before applying a rear chinlock. Angle counters with a back suplex. A “USA!” chant breaks out, despite all three of these guys being from the same country. Garett tags in and runs into a pair of clotheslines. Wes gets hit with the same. Overhead belly-to-belly for Wes, and a release German for Garett. Angle hits Wes with the Murder-Suicide. Garett tries to block it by letting Wes grab him, so Angle suplexes them both at the same time. Angle Slam on Garett for 2 as Wes breaks up the pin. Angle sends Wes shoulder-first into the post as D’Lo Brown makes his way to ringside. Angle applies the ankle lock on Wes as Mr. Anderson distracts the referee. D’Lo throws a chain to Garett, and he hits Angle in the back of the head, getting the 3.

WINNERS: Garett Bischoff and Wes Brisco. D’Lo orders Wes to pick Angle up, and he & Garett give Angle a spike powerbomb. Anderson gets on the mic and says this is the way things are going down from now on. Sting left Hogan’s side a few weeks ago and hasn’t been seen since. Jeff Hardy was decimated last week, and now Angle lies in shambles. If you’re not wearing one of these “cuts” tonight, “you in a bad frickin’ way”. One more thing: AJ Styles, they’re rooting for you, buddy.

We get comments from Zema Ion and Petey Williams in regards to their title match up next.

MATCH 2-3-Way Match for the World X-Division Championship: Zema Ion vs. Petey Williams vs. Kenny King (Champion)
King finally has some new music. Of course it’s generic hip-hop, but it’s still an improvement over his old theme.
King attacks the other two at the opening bell and hits Petey with a back elbow. We get our first look from TNA’s “X-Cam”, and I already hate it. You’d think they’d know better than to bring this back after it was partially responsible for killing Chris Candido. Anyway, Petey hits a dropkick to King’s back, and Ion comes off the top with a seated missile dropkick on Petey. Petey goes to the corner, and King stops Ion charging with a jumping roundhouse. King goes for the Royal Flush on Ion, but Petey yanks Ion off King’s shoulders. King hits a spinning Ghetto Blaster on Ion before going for the Flush on Petey. Petey counters it and hits the Canadian Destroyer, but only gets 2 when Ion breaks up the pin. Ion goes for the pin, but Petey breaks that up. Petey attacks Ion with rights before hitting a spinning headscissors. Ion sets Petey up in the corner, where Petey hits a hurricanrana for 2. Ion hotshots Petey into the ropes before hitting a jumping neckbreaker for 2. The fans are not into this match at all. Petey hits some knife-edge chops before Ion blocks an Irish whip and counters into a modified half-Boston crab. Petey gets a rope break, and now the two trade punches. Petey dominates, ducks a clotheslines and turns a headscissors into a side-Russian legsweep and then into a crucifix for 2. Petey hits a hoisted complete shot for another 2 as King is trying to get back in the ring. Petey calls for the Destroyer again, but Ion counters with a jawbreaker. Petey ducks a clothesline and hits a suicide dive on King. Ion charges in, but Petey shoulders him and hits an outside-in release German suplex before hitting an inside-out hurricanrana on King. Ion hotshots Petey before hitting the outside-in tornado DDT for 2. Ion drags Petey to the corner and goes for the running Asai moonsault. Petey blocks with his knees and goes for the Destroyer, but Ion counters into a roll-up for 2. Petey counters into a scorpion deathlock as King comes in. He hits Petey with a running dropkick, then covers Ion for 3.

WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: Kenny King. Decent match, but King did mostly nothing the entire match, which is why I hate this style of match. One guy is always on the floor.

AI stops Magnus in the back, who has a TV title match tonight. Magnus says there’s history, but he’s confused about this situation. A and E are talking about creating so much chaos, but what they don’t realize is that tonight, Magnus is the one who is doing the taking, as he’s taking the title he’s been waiting five months for.

We see Brooke Hogan and Christy Hemme in the back talking about the new KO website. Apparently, Christy is running the site. And I should care why? Brooke calls Mickey James and Miss Tessmacher into the room. She tells them they’re both special and that’s why they’ve been chosen for their match later tonight. James leaves after a minute, and Tessy stays behind to talk to Brooke about Bully Ray, saying all of the Knockouts are there for her.

MATCH 3-World Television Championship: Devon (Champion) vs. Magnus
Wow. We get our first TV title match in what, six months?
Before the match, Knux and DOC try to attack Magnus on the stage, but he fights them both off. Devon then runs up and nails Magnus with a chain. DOC and Knux hold Magnus up and Devon hits him in the gut with the chain. Magnus tries to fight back, but gets hit with a double chokeslam on the ramp.

WINNER: No match, which means that the title will remain un-defended for the next six months or so. As A and E continue the attack, Samoa Joe comes out on stage and gets between them and Magnus. Just get rid of the title already, TNA, as it’s obvious you know how meaningless it truly is.

Samoa Joe is screaming at the camera in the back, calling all of A and E cowards. You come out and claim to be the best and put titles on the line, but then you pull that. It’s okay, Devon. He’s told the “powers-that-be” what he wants, and he’s got it. See you in the ring.

We get a video from a couple of weeks ago where Velvet Sky supposedly injured her knee.

MATCH 3-Winner becomes the new #1 Contender for the Knockouts Championship: Miss Tessmacher vs. Mickie James
ODB is once again the referee. Lock-up to start, and Tessy backs James into the corner before giving a clean break. Another lock-up, and now James backs Tessy into the corner, and another clean break. ODB calling both of these women “bitch” is pretty funny. Another lock-up, and James turns it into an armdrag. Tessy hangs on, and they go back into the lock-up. Tessy now armdrags James, who also holds on. It turns into another lock-up and James finally breaks it with the ropes. ODB grabs the arms of both women and tells them to fights. Tessy takes James and schoolgirls her for 2. James comes back with an arm wringer, then botches the piss out of a rolling jujigatame, which Tessy immediately breaks with the ropes before rolling to the floor. She drags James to the floor, where they trade forearm shots before grabbing each other by the hair. ODB breaks it up and tells them both to get back in the ring. Back in, Tessy ducks a clothesline, kicks James in the knee, then knocks her down with some punches. James sends Tessy into the corner, but Tessy ducks a charge and kicks her in the gut before hitting a Mug Shot for 2. In the adjacent corner, Tessy hits a running clotheslines, then hits a Stinkface. She whips James onto the mat for 2, then goes for another cover, getting another 2. James blocks a throw to the corner, then does a pair of them herself before hitting a flapjack. Up top, James hits a Thesz Press for 2. Mounted punches by James until ODB pulls her off. James turns around, and the two simultaneously clothesline each other. ODB begins the standing 10-count, and they manage to make it up at 8, taking turns slamming each other’s face into the mat. We then get full-screen replays mid-match. Genius. Tessy goes for Tessticular Cancer, but James blocks it and sends Tessy into the corner. She goes for the standing Tornado DDT and Tessy counters that into a sunset flip. James just sits down on Tessy and gets the 3.

WINNER AND NEW #1 CONTENDER: Mickie James.

We see AJ Styles in the back, and Bad Influence is hanging out in the background, with Christopher Daniels holding a t-shirt. As AJ walks off, Daniels says “the band is back together”. They then start singing “The Best Friends Song” from The Hangover.

Elsewhere, Joseph Park is on the phone. Devon approaches him and grabs the phone before telling him to stay out of family business. Park says he’s doing this for Brooke, and Bully Ray nails him from behind. He says he’s her husband and knows what’s best for Brooke. Ray says consider this a threat and not a promise: stay out of our family business. Devon then takes him into the bathroom and slams him into the shower wall before turning the water on him.

We now get a video package for Mickie James, talking about winning the belt back. God, I hate her voice.

James Storm is in the locker room, talking about trying to talk to AJ Styles. Now, it’s time to just kick the crap out of each other.

Bad Influence make their way out into the arena, ,and Daniels has the shirt he was holding tucked into his pants. Apparently, it’s just one of their shirts, but in a different color. Daniels says the year of Bad Influence continues. It is great to be them. The fans love them. They’ve got these sweet new shirts. The BI movie is in-production, and Morgan Freeman is in talks to play the role of Dixie Carter. But, the cherry on the sundae that is their lives, is they are THIS CLOSE to convincing AJ Styles to side with them. Kaz says they got him his own BI shirt in black and yellow. Now, their first matter of business involves their old amigos, “Churro Guerrero” and “Juan Hernandez”. As soon as you muchachos give them their title match, they will become World Tag Team Champions of the World, Part Tres. Now, you all have permission to worship them.

Bobby Roode and Austin Aries come out, and Roode says that he has to be the bearer of bad news. He’s sorry to say it, but BI aren’t the #1 contenders for the titles. Last week, Chavo and Hernandez fluked a victory over him and Aries, so before anything else happens, the former champs get a rematch. Daniels says Roode’s opinion would matter more if he wasn’t a Canadian. Aries says that, lucky for them, his opinion is more valuable than anything, and it comes down to this: BI have been a more successful team than they have. And maybe if he and Roode were “closer” to each other like BI, maybe they’d be a more “well-oiled” machine like a BI. Kaz makes fun of Aries for being a vegan, so Aries makes a joke about Kaz putting meat in his mouth. The four of them then scream incoherently at each other as Chavo and Hernandez enter the ring behind Aries and Roode. BI sees them and bails. As Roode and Aries turn around, they’re attacked by the champs and thrown to the floor. Chavo holds up a belt and says THIS is why they’re better. And…well, that’s it. That was literally Chavo’s whole promo.

Overly long video packages for Aces and Eights about how dangerous they are. This segues into a recap of Angle losing earlier tonight, and then it’s footage of Magnus getting attacked. As someone on FB once said, TNA should change their company motto to “We Are Recaps”.
We see Matt Morgan watching all of this, and it turns into a long promo about how stupid Hulk Hogan is. I’d recap it, but honestly, if you’ve heard Morgan do this promo once, you’ve heard every Morgan promo since then.

MATCH 4-World Television Championship: Devon (Champion) vs. Samoa Joe
Let’s see if it actually happens this time. Christy Hemme botched Devon’s intro. Devon attacks Joe as the bell rings, so looks like the match will indeed happen. Joe begins to fight back with some quick lefts before stomping Devon down. Joe hits a running leg lariat and follows upwith a snapmare, a chop to the back, a kick to the chest and a jumping knee drop for 2. Joe calls for the Kokina Clutch, and Devon counters out before hitting a spear. He chokes Joe over the bottom rope, but Joe gets back up and hits some rights. Devon rakes the eyes, then steps on Joe’s stomach in the corner. Snapmare by Devon, and an elbow drop gets 2. Devon applies a rear chinlock, and Joe fights out. Devon hits a right and corner whips Joe, but Joe counters, hits a running hip bump and a spin kick to the head. Joe sets Devon on the top rope as Garett and Wes comes to ringside. Joe takes them both out and goes for the Muscle Buster, but they get on the apron and distract the ref. As Joe goes for the move, Anderson runs into the ring and hits Joe with a pair of brass knuckles. Devon falls on Joe and gets the 3.

WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: Devon. Devon props Joe on his knees after the match. Anderson puts the knuckles back on, gets on his knees and nails Joe in the face.

Next week, Mickie James gets her KO title match, and Roode/Aries vs. Chavo/Hernandez in a championship rematch from last week.

MATCH 5: James Storm vs. AJ Styles
AJ starts to bail on the match before the bell rings, but Storm attacks him from behind. He goes for a suplex on the ramp, but AJ blocks it. Storm goes for a powerbomb, but AJ escapes and hits Storm with a right. Storm comes back with an uppercut, and the match officially starts in the ring. AJ beats Storm down in the corner, then hits some elbows to the back of the head. AJ ducks a clothesline, but runs into a high knee. Storm hits some mounted punches before applying a side headlock. AJ comes back with a chopblock and a clothesline. Commercials.

Back from the break, AJ hits a vertical suplex on Storm before applying a rear chinlock. Storm eventually fights out, and now the two trade punches. Storm hits a forearm off the ropes, an inverted atomic drop and a clothesline. Back body drop off the ropes connects, and the old Eye of the Storm gets 2 (I say “old” because he uses that name for a different move now). Storm props AJ on the top rope and goes for a superplex, but AJ slides out and crotches Storm. Storm gets hung up in the Tree of Woe in the process, and AJ hits a running seated dropkick to Storm’s face for 2. Bad Influence come out on the ramp, cheering AJ on. AJ picks Storm up in a fireman’s carry, but Storm escapes, ducks a clothesline and hits a backcracker before sending AJ to the floor with a clothesline. Storm follows out, and AJ rams him into the apron before throwing him into the guardrail. Back in the ring, AJ misses a running boot and gets hit with Closing Time. Storm calls for the Last Call, but AJ blocks it and rolls through into a heel hook. Storm taps out.

WINNER: AJ Styles. Bad Influence enter the ring to congratulate AJ, who then attacks both of them. He stares at Storm and leaves the ring as A and E attack Storm from behind. BI roll back into the ring, and they get attacked as well. Kaz gets hit with the World title by Bully Ray, and Daniels is hit with a double chokeslam by Knux and DOC as Storm gets hit with a Sky-High by D’Lo. Ray gets on the mic and asks if we know who he is or who they are. They are the Aces and Eights. They are the men responsible for destroying all of your heroes. He is the man responsible for defeating and taking out Jeff Hardy. His brothers are the men responsible for taking out these three pieces of trash. You have no heroes left. Look around. All of your heroes are now just victims, and there’s one man you can blame this on: you can blame this on Hulk Hogan. Hulk is the reason why “all of your heroes are just another victim”. Dad: next week, live on Impact, Ray is calling you out in the middle of this ring. He wants to stare deep into your soul and tell you to your face you are the reason why all of their heroes are nothing but victims of Aces and Eights. And when you ride with the Aces and Eights, you never walk alone. Well, I would certainly hope not, since riding is an entirely different activity than walking.

End of show.

As always, feel free to follow me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/xdustineflx ,and if you like Married…With Children, you can follow my Al Bundy parody account at http://www.twitter.com/bundyisms. Also follow my personal blog at http://nerdslikeme.blogspot.com (feedback is welcome). Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out my mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:

Gerri Davis Banner, NPC National Level Heavyweight and Masters Female Bodybuilder

Thanks for reading, and as long as Spike TV still fronts the bill, I’ll see you next week.

WWE: WrestleMania 29 DVD

WWE: For All Mankind- The Life and Career of Mick Foley- with Mr. Socko Sock Puppet (Limited Edition)

Grab discounted WWE DVDs, merchandise, t -shirts, figures, and more from the WWE Shop on Amazon.com

WrestleMania XXVI: A Portrait in Wrestling History

April 04, 2013 By: Category: WWE | Pro Wrestling

WRESTLEMANIA XXVI
From University of Phoenix Stadium in Glendale, AZ
March 28, 2010

BACKGROUND
One of the biggest differences between WWE and TNA is that when WWE utilizes older wrestlers, it’s to their maximum.

In the fall of 2009, TNA went ahead with a considerable end-run to bolster their roster, with the target of running a monster three-hour episode of Impact, live on Monday, January 4, up against Raw.

To sweeten the pot and lure in casual fans not familiar with TNA, the company brought in Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff to be major players, while negotiating with Scott Hall, Sean Waltman, Ric Flair, and Jeff Hardy, as well as other familiar faces.

WWE, knowing that TNA was going to bring their best laid plans to that Monday night, countered with something that would shock fans all over the world.

On January 4, 2010, for the first time in over twelve years, Bret “The Hitman” Hart would return to Monday Night Raw.

WWE Fans didn’t know what to think. Bret Hart, really? The same man who, while he’d done a few side ventures with WWE in recent years, had a rocky relationship with the company that embarrassed him on PPV with the “screwjob”? The same Bret Hart that locked horns with the company when the two sides became embroiled over who was responsible for the death of Bret’s brother, Owen?

Indeed, Hart showed up on January 4 in Dayton, OH, where he’d won the 1993 King of the Ring tournament.

To add to the surreal nature of Hart even standing in a WWE ring, he called out longtime nemesis Shawn Michaels. Hart had Michaels removed from the 2006 Hall of Fame ceremony, not wanting him there to witness his speech.

On this night, Hart and Michaels shook hands, and then embraced with a hug, dropping the jaws of fans around the world.

Only in WWE.

THE EVENT
Edge made a surprise comeback after a near six-month injury layoff, and won the 2010 Royal Rumble from the #29 spot. Edge waited to pick the champion he would face, and it paid off when he selected Chris Jericho, who won the World Heavyweight Championship three weeks later at Elimination Chamber.

Jericho and Edge had won the Unified Tag Team Titles in the summer, and then Edge bowed out with the mentioned injury. Jericho chose Big Show as his replacement, and then would off-handedly slag Edge for his shortcomings. Edge would taunt Jericho with threats of spearing him, getting the fans to yell, in Pavlovian fashion, “SPEEEEEEEEEAR”. Jericho’s improbable title win on February 21 meant he might have to eat his words at WrestleMania.

On the opposite brand, John Cena won the Raw Elimination Chamber match, winning Sheamus’ WWE Championship. Immediately after the grueling contest, Vince McMahon, who was on bad terms with Cena after he’d stood beside Bret Hart (explanation forthcoming), sent Batista to the ring for an immediate title match. Batista mauled Cena to win the belt within seconds.

Cena had a chance for a WrestleMania rematch if he could beat Batista in a non-title rematch the next night on Raw. Batista got himself disqualified intentionally, due to his hatred of Cena, his success, and what he stood for. In fact, Batista made it clear that when the two men had their skyrocketing career paths parallel each other just several years earlier, Cena got more love and Batista admitted that he was jealous.

Batista also made it clear that Cena had never, ever beaten him, and promised that WrestleMania, in front of the world, would be no different.

But back to Hart, Vince McMahon had assaulted him at the end of the January 4 Raw, continuing the bad blood that had existed since 1997. McMahon would spend over two months ripping Hart for hanging onto the past, claiming that he’d made “The Hitman”. Bret, however, would get a chance at revenge as he’d challenged Vince to a street fight.

McMahon accepted, but after Bret attacked him, Vince would renege. After Hart was then injured in a car accident backstage, McMahon would accept, thinking Bret was too hurt. However, after Vince signed the contract, Hart proved that his injuries were merely a ruse to get Vince to agree, and that the accident was all a set-up. Hart would have his chance to get 12 years worth of revenge after all.

Speaking of revenge, Shawn Michaels had some in mind as well.

Michaels lamented not ending The Undertaker’s WrestleMania streak one year earlier, and became obsessed with doing so.

Shawn Michaels had cost The Undertaker the World Heavyweight Title at Elimination Chamber, doing whatever he could to get a rematch at WrestleMania, so that he could end the streak. After weeks of hounding “The Dead Man”, Michaels finally got Undertaker’s attention. However, Undertaker would only accept the match if Michaels agreed to put his career on the line.

Check out the full Camel Clutch Blog Pro Wrestling and MMA store for videos, t-shirts, books, and more.

Michaels implied acceptance, saying “If I can’t beat you….I have no career.”

Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Matt Striker called the action from ringside. Fantasia Barrino performed “America the Beautiful”. Entering the WWE Hall of Fame were Ted Dibiase, Antonio Inoki, Wendi Richter, Mad Dog Vachon, Gorgeous George, Stu Hart, and Bob Uecker.

THE RESULTS
Unified Tag Team Championship: The Miz/Big Show def. John Morrison/R-Truth in 3:24
(Miz and Morrison get a “make up call” from one year earlier, and get to be on the actual show. Of course, it gets 1/3 of the time as their dark match from last year. Life’s just not fair)

Triple Threat Match: Randy Orton def. Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase in 9:01
(This was decent, and did what it was supposed to do in elevate Orton, but Rhodes and DiBiase’s slap fest was so horribly goofy that it became hard to take either man seriously. Some Mania debut for both)

Money in the Bank: Jack Swagger def. Kane, MVP, Christian, Dolph Ziggler, Matt Hardy, Shelton Benjamin, Kofi Kingston, Drew McIntyre, and Evan Bourne in 13:44
(Swagger was an interesting choice for a winner. And by “interesting”, I mean “odd”. He’d become World Heavyweight Champion two nights later in one of the most forgettable reigns in recent memory)

Triple H def. Sheamus in 12:09
(Ever feel like Orton and Hunter were punished for their crappy main event from last year by being stuck in the first half of the show? Match was pretty good, actually. Sheamus deserves more love)

Rey Mysterio def. CM Punk in 6:30
(Damn good match, but way short. Mysterio had to go “straight edge” if he lost, as if that were a heelish thing to have to do. “How dare that villain infringe on Rey’s right to take HGH! That cad!”)

Lumberjack Match: Bret Hart def. Vince McMahon in 11:09
(All of the Hart siblings, as well as the Hart Dynasty, surrounded the ring for a match in which Bret slowly and meticulously stomped Vince and beat him with a chair for eleven minutes. Well, it’s fine by me. By the way, look at the match’s time. What date was Montreal again? 11/09! CREEPY!)

World Heavyweight Championship: Chris Jericho def. Edge in 15:48
(Like Jericho’s previous WrestleMania World Title match, this had no heat, seemed a bit awkward, and is not often remembered. It’s a shame, because it was a pretty good match, but Edge’s entire face schtick centered around him bellowing “SPEEEEEEEAR!!!” which does nothing for anyone)

Michelle McCool/Layla/Vickie Guerrero/Maryse/Alicia Fox def. Mickie James/Beth Phoenix/Kelly Kelly/Gail Kim/Eve Torres in 3:26
(The last major WWE appearance of Mickie “Lesbian Stalker” James. I’ll always have the memories)

WWE Heavyweight Championship: John Cena def. Batista in 13:31
(A bit abbreviated, but still a damn good outing. Cena and Batista have pretty good chemistry when they’re not bogged down by pointless stipulations, as they were in subsequent rematches. Batista’s face when Cena kicked out of the Batista Bomb is a sight to behold)

Career vs. Streak: The Undertaker def. Shawn Michaels in 23:59
(Not quite as “epic” as last year’s match, but epic nonetheless. Gah, I’m splitting hairs here. This was a great match, and a great way for Shawn Michaels to go out. I hope, unlike Flair, he stays retired and lets his tremendous legacy tell the story of how amazing a performer he was. I hope when Undertaker retires one day, he has the sense to do the same. Great ending to the show)

ITS PLACE IN HISTORY
I never would have guessed, in 2010, that we’d see Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels wrestle on the same show ever again. Hart and Michaels were, at one point, both retired simultaneously, until Michaels found the itch to wrestle again in 2002.

Hart’s match wasn’t really a match as it was a slow beating. Michaels’ match was an enthralling epic, considered the best match of 2010.

But for both men, WrestleMania XXVI was about closure.

For Hart, it was about giving the fans “one more match”, the one he’d wished for at his Hall of Fame speech in 2006. Sure, it wasn’t anything great, but it was one more Sharpshooter in front of millions of fans, as a way of putting some of his bitterness into his past.

For Shawn Michaels, it was one last great performance. The most talented wrestler the world has known stole the show once more, from peers young and old. He could now rest his battered body forever.

A photo surfaced one day after WrestleMania with both Hart and Michaels smiling, congratulating each other after the show had ended.

If you can think of a more appropriate portrait for this show, I’d like to see it.

Justin Henry is a freelance writer who splits time between this site, WrestleCrap.com, and FootballNation.com. He can be found via his wrestling Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/wrestlecrapjrh

WWE: WrestleMania 29 DVD

WWE: Bret Hitman Hart – The Dungeon Collection

Grab discounted WWE DVDs, merchandise, t -shirts, figures, and more from the WWE Shop on Amazon.com

WrestleMania XXII: A Portrait in Wrestling History

April 02, 2013 By: Category: WWE | Pro Wrestling

WRESTLEMANIA XXII
From The All-State Arena in Chicago, IL
April 2, 2006

BACKGROUND
A scant fourteen hours before he would have won the World Heavyweight Championship from Batista at a rare Sunday SmackDown taping, Eddie Guerrero was found dead in a Minnesota hotel room at the age of 38.

Despite beating the alcoholism that plagued much of his life four years ago, Guerrero’s weakened circulatory system, a body worn down by the rigors of the ring, and a life numbed by drugs, both prescription and elicit, all came back to haunt him at a time when his diligence and courage were heralded as one of wrestling’s greatest fairy tales.

Guerrero’s death was a blow to not only his family, friends, and fans across the globe, but to WWE itself. Guerrero’s rise to the main event scene in World Wrestling Entertainment wasn’t just a reward for cleaning up his life. Statistics showed that Smackdown’s TV ratings were ballooning, heavily so in Latin markets. With Guerrero, his nephew Chavo, and the dynamic Rey Mysterio, Smackdown was able to cater to the fastest growing ethic demographic in the United States.

It was Guerrero’s natural charisma, however, coupled with his silky-smooth in-ring performances that made him a standout to fans who couldn’t, in any faith, boo his “cheat to win” heel act. Instead, the gimmick was retooled to make him into a cunning and clever hero, outwitting villains left and right to remain on top.

With Guerrero’s death, the company was losing a considerable lifeline to a market that didn’t explode until “Latino Heat” helped WWE tap into it.

However, all was not lost.

Except for WWE’s sense of decency.

For the next six months or so, Guerrero’s name was used by Rey Mysterio in infinite tribute, while Mysterio’s opponents actually defamed Guerrero’s name just to further storylines.

Sadly, the Eddie Guerrero exploitation would grow more disturbing.

THE EVENT
With “Eddie Guerrero” becoming a buzz phrase after the man’s demise, coupled with Mysterio’s constant evocation of his name, Mysterio dedicated his performance at the 2006 Royal Rumble to his deceased friend.

Rey Mysterio would enter the match at #2 and set the longevity record, lasting over one hour to surprise #30 Randy Orton with a hurrachanrana elimination to win. Mysterio could now further his tribute to Guerrero by winning the World Heayweight Championship at WrestleMania XXII.

However, Orton goaded Mysterio into putting his contender’s spot on the line at No Way Out, getting Mysterio to agree by declaring that Eddie Guerrero was in Hell. Tasteless as it was, the match was signed, and Orton cheated to win. However, GM Teddy Long made a concession: since Orton had to use nefarious means, the match would now be a triple threat between Mysterio, Orton, and champion Kurt Angle.

Over on Raw, John Cena was WWE Champion, and not a popular one. Fans were either heavily divided on his goofy superhero schtick, or they outright booed him out of the arenas. After winning feuds with heels who were cheered over him (Angle, Chris Jericho, Edge), Cena was locked in to face Triple H, who won a tournament to earn the shot.

The Game, for reasons unclear, was allowed to declare Cena a bad champion due to a lack of wrestling ability, as well the unfavorable crowd reactions.

Oddly enough, none of this did anything to improve Cena’s cracked image.

In one of the more bizarre builds for a marquee match, Shawn Michaels had confronted Vince McMahon late in 2005, after McMahon attempted to publicly embarrass Bret Hart. Michaels, from whom Hart was estranged from after a litany of controversies, came to the ring and told Vince “move on”.

McMahon didn’t take the perceived insult lightly, and became hell-bent on ruining Michaels’ life. This included enlisting Shane McMahon to toss Michaels out of the Royal Rumble match after a distraction, and then later trying to force Michaels’ former partner Marty Jannetty to join his “Kiss My Ass” club in exchange for employment. Michaels intervened, and took a chair to the head from Shane. Then, while Shawn was out cold, Shane lifted Michaels and forced him to perform the kiss unwittingly.

Check out the full Camel Clutch Blog Pro Wrestling and MMA store for videos, t-shirts, books, and more.

McMahon and Michaels would then sign for a street fight, McMahon’s typical style, in which Michaels promised that it wasn’t going to be one of his five-star classics.

Speaking of brawls, Edge and Mick Foley had fallen into a skirmish. After Edge won the WWE title in January by cashing in his Money in the Bank chance on a wounded John Cena, Edge lost the belt three weeks later back to the man he’d felled. Foley refereed a rematch between the two and Cena won, prompting Edge to cry foul. He agreed to lock horns with Foley in a hardcore rules match to create his own WrestleMania moment.

Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler called Raw’s action, while Michael Cole and Tazz brought us Smackdown. Joey Styles filled in for Ross during the aforementioned hardcore match. Lillian Garcia sang “America the Beautiful” to kick off the show. As for the Hall of Fame, 2006 saw Bret Hart, Eddie Guerrero, Mean Gene Okerlund, Sensational Sherri, The Blackjacks, Verne Gagne, Tony Atlas, and William “Refrigerator” Perry inducted.

THE RESULTS
World Tag Team: Kane/Big Show def. Carlito/Chris Masters in 6:41
(Wasn’t expecting much out of it, but it turned out to be a decent opener, all things considered. Besides, it was Big Show’s first win in WrestleMania history. So there’s that)

Money in the Bank: Rob Van Dam def. Shelton Benjamin, Matt Hardy, Finlay, Ric Flair, and Bobby Lashley in 12:21
(Not up to the level of last year’s, but still featuring some craziness. Lashley and Flair seemed out of place, but everyone else was game. Shelton’s springboard onto one side of the ladder still amazes me to this day)

WWE United States: JBL def. Chris Benoit in 9:44 to win the title
(This would have been a fine enough match with a normal face/heel dynamic, but JBL had to mock Eddie Guerrero with his arm swivel taunt about fifteen times. Just not necessary)

Hardcore Rules: Edge def. Mick Foley in 14:37
(The earliest a “match of the night” has ever occurred at ‘Mania, I believe. Lita taking barbed wire to the mouth was crazy, but Edge spearing Mick Foley through the flaming table was beyond insane. Edge going into the flames makes me think he was telling Vince “Gimme the belt back, or I’ll kill myself on your show.” Looks to have worked)

Handicap Match: The Boogeyman def. Booker T/Sharmell in 3:52
(Much as I like both men for different reasons, the less said about this match, the better)

WWE Women’s Title: Mickie James def. Trish Stratus in 11:48 to win the title
(It’s the best women’s match in WrestleMania history, and perhaps Mickie’s finest hour as a character. Sadly, the DVD release omits Mickie’s finest moment, but it’s burned into my brain forever anyway)

Casket Match: The Undertaker def. Mark Henry at 9:26
(That’s fourteen. That’s also Mark Henry’s second WrestleMania match in ten years with the company. Makes you think forces have conspired against him. Or maybe he’s just that bad?)

Street Fight: Shawn Michaels def. Vince McMahon in 18:28
(One of Vince’s most entertaining matches ever, and it’s fun to watch Shawn beat the hell out of him for about fifteen straight minutes. The highlight was Vince McMahon being stretchered out, giving Shawn the finger while near death and bloodied on the gurney. It’s worth watching for the belly laughs)

World Heavyweight Championship: Rey Mysterio def. Kurt Angle and Randy Orton in 9:18 to win the title
(All of that forced build with Guerrero’s exploitation for a nine minute match? And it didn’t even finish the show? Chavo and Vickie Guerrero coming out to celebrate with Rey just made a decent match muddled by a bad angle worse. I was just glad that the angle was finally over….sort of)

Playboy Pillow Fight: Torrie Wilson def. Candice Michelle in 3:54
(Much like the Booker/Sharmell/Boogeyman fiasco, the less said about this, the better)

WWE Heavyweight Championship: John Cena def. Triple H in 22:02
(Forget about the match, which was decent and enhanced by a virulently anti-Cena crowd. The highlight was Triple H making his entrance dressed as a Nordic barbarian, and Cena trying to suck up to Chicago with a fleet of faux gangsters while dressed like Al Capone. One of those gangsters was CM Punk, which begs the question: why would the straight-edge Punk associate with anti-prohibitionists?)

ITS PLACE IN HISTORY
Rey Mysterio, for his contributions to the business in terms of opening doors for smaller athletes to thrive on an international level, deserved very much to win a World Championship at an event the caliber of WrestleMania.

However, the ham-fisted, intelligence-insulting fashion in which WWE paved his road to said title will go down as perhaps the most jaw-droppingly insensitive booking that WWE has ever used to sell an event of WrestleMania’s standing.

I truly believe that, to this day, when WWE mentions Guerrero in reverent terms, or when they showcase him as part of a positive video package, it’s to deflect any negative thoughts one may have about the undignified manner in which Guerrero died, as well as to try and make fans forget about the horrible way in which WWE bungled the aftermath of his passing.

But Mysterio, Chavo, and Vickie to this day have more detractors than they’ve ever had, and much of it is kneejerk. Their direct involvement in a year (a YEAR) of exploitation is something that hasn’t washed off easily.

WrestleMania XXII was a decent show, one that is stained by feeling the need to tie in a real death to a fictional production.

Justin Henry is a freelance writer who splits time between this site, WrestleCrap.com, and FootballNation.com. He can be found via his wrestling Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/wrestlecrapjrh

WWE: WrestleMania 29 DVD

WWE: Bret Hitman Hart – The Dungeon Collection

Grab discounted WWE DVDs, merchandise, t -shirts, figures, and more from the WWE Shop on Amazon.com

TNA Impact Wrestling Results March 21 and Recap

March 23, 2013 By: Category: WWE | Pro Wrestling

This week, TNA is once again in Chicago, and the show opens with Hulk Hogan coming out on one crutch. He says he’s been around a long time, and we’ve been through hell and back together. However, he’s never had the wool pulled over his eyes like this. Not only did Aces and Eights fool the fans, they fooled him, his family, Sting, and everyone else in TNA. When he thinks of what happened last week and how A and E ran roughshod over the TNA roster, he’s realized this is a war for survival. Out of all the men that were left laying last week, the four guys that led the charge are the warriors. They are the men he loves and respects, and they lead the rest of the pack in the back, jack. At this time, he wants nothing but respect for these four, and he wants to bring them out here right now. First out is Samoa Joe, second is Magnus, third is “the scariest man I’ve ever looked into his eyes” Kurt Angle, and fourth is Jeff Hardy. As Hulk speaks to these men, he’s also speaking to everyone in the back. The reason these four are here is because he wants them to put A and E out and bring the World title back to TNA. Jeff Hardy, you took us to a place Hulk never thought they’d be. But after the attack last week, can he pull off a rematch? Hardy says he’s in bad shape, but Bully Ray stole the title, and we, “the creatures”, need it back. These other men are ready, and tonight, let’s have a four-way between everyone in the ring, with the winner getting a shot at Bully Ray. Hulk says the last time he picked a #1 contender, it was a mistake, so he loves this idea. Looks like we’ve got our main event.

MATCH 1-World Tag Team Championship: Chavo Guerrero and Hernandez vs. Austin Aries and Bobby Roode (Champions)
This is the match that was supposed to happen at the top of the show last week. Chavo and Roode start the match. Chavo counters a waistlock in to an arm wringer. Roode counters into a hammerlock, and Chavo counters once more into the wringer. Roode punches his way out, but gets hit with a European uppercut before rebounding with punches. Chavo comes off the ropes with a spinning headscissors before beating Roode down in the corner. Hernandez tags in, Chavo hits a bodyslam, Hernandez bodyslams Chavo onto Roode and then hits a Warrior Splash for 2. Roode fights back and tags in Aries, beating Hernandez down in the corner. Aries boxes the ears, then hits an open-hand chop to the chest. Roode back in with a kick before tagging Aries in once more. They go for a double suplex, but Hernandez counters into one of his own before tagging in Chavo, who hits a pair of dropkicks on Roode. Commercials.

We’re back, and Aries throws Chavo to the floor, where Roode slams him into the steps. Roode holds Chavo up, and Aries comes off the top with an elbow. Back in the ring, Aries gets 2. Aries applies a front chancery, but Chavo fights out. He goes to the ropes, where Aries catches him with a kitchen sink. Roode in, and he hits a back suplex for 2 before applying a rear chinlock. Chavo fights out once again and sends Roode to the corner. He goes for a monkey flip, but Roode blocks him and props him on the top rope. Chavo strikes from this position and hits a tornado DDT. Aries and Hernandez tag in, and Hernandez with the hot tag offense before hitting a Warrior Press on Aries. Hernandez goes up the ramp and hits an outside-in Air Mexico on both champions. He goes for the Border Toss on Aries, but Roode boots him in the gut. Roode gets hit with a Pounce, sending him to the floor. Aries blocks a corner charge and goes for a cross-body, but Hernandez catches him. He tags in Chavo and goes for a powerbomb, but Aries takes him to the floor with a hurricanrana. Back in the ring, he mocks Chavo as he goes for the brainbuster, but Chavo counters into the 3 Amigos as the crowd dumps all over him for it. Chavo goes up top, but Kazarian runs down to distract the referee as Christopher Daniels shoves Chavo off the top. Aries rolls him up with a handful of tights and gets the 3.

WINNERS AND STILL CHAMPIONS: Austin Aries and Bobby Roode. After the match, Bad Influence attack the champs from behind.

Apparently, all X-Division matches will now be contested in 3-way matches. G*ddammit, TNA. Why do you continue to piss me off?

We see an interview from Kenny King from earlier today. He says he should be mad about the new changes to the X-Division, but this kind of stuff has always been happening to him. If TNA wants to be this way, so be it. If they put two guys in front of him, TNA better set up two funerals. This just gives him a chance to shine even brighter. The interview then turns into a commercial for 5-Hour Energy as TNA rubs more salt in the wound.

MATCH 2-3-Way Match for the World X-Division Championship: Sonjay Dutt vs. Zema Ion vs. Kenny King (Champion)
I didn’t realize Dutt still worked here. Just shows how TNA has no idea what to do with talent in most cases. Apparently, the belt will be defended each week in these kind of matches, and the person who doesn’t get pinned or doesn’t submit moves onto the 3-way the following week. Just keep digging that grave, TNA. Ion applies a side headlock on Dutt, but gets shouldered by King. Dutt hits a spinning headscissors on Ion, and the three botch a spot in the corner. King runs into Ion, and Dutt takes them both down with a hurricanrana/armdrag combo, sending them to the floor. They drag Dutt outside and ram him into the barricade. King then does the same to Ion before hitting a somersault plancha from the apron. He rams Ion into the apron and throws him back in the ring, getting 2. Jumping hip bump in the corner by King before he foot chokes Ion. Float-over suplex into some mounted punches by King before stopping Dutt from entering the ring. He runs into an elbow by Ion but catches him in a fireman’s carry. Ion fights out but runs into a jumping roundhouse. Dutt hits a springboard dropkick on King, then goes up top. King shoves him off onto the ramp, and now Ion begins to fight back until he runs into a modified Ghetto Blaster. Ion rolls to the apron and hits the inside-out DDT, and Dutt comes back in and sends Ion to the floor with a hurricanrana. Both heels are outside now, and Dutt hits a top rope moonsault before throwing Ion back in. Bodyslam by Dutt, and he goes for the Hindu Press. King blocks him, and Ion goes up for a back suplex. Dutt elbows him off and hits a moonsault into a double stomp. King comes back in with a springboard blockbuster on Dutt and gets the 3.

WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: Kenny King. Dutt is now out of the title picture for a while. Smart move TNA. Instead of getting rid Ion’s worthless ass, you bring Dutt back for one night and then remove him from the title hunt for a while.

AI stops Brooke Hogan to ask about her husband, and she says she’s only here to run the KO division tonight.

We get an interview with Bully Ray as he talks about “plan B” going into effect, that being him using the Hogan family to become champion. Joseph Park became the bait, and we basically get a video package highlighting the entire stupid storyline involving A and E. I kid you not, this video package is almost ten minutes long. It’s ridiculous.

We see Sting entering the building. Moments later, he enters Hulk Hogan’s office. He says he doesn’t care about the title; this is about making things right. Give him Bully tonight. Hulk says things haven’t changed in his mind, so why doesn’t Sting do what he does best and go hide up in the rafters for a couple of years. Whenever Sting is around, he causes problems, so get out.

Video package for the meaningless Gail Kim/Taryn Terrell feud.

Taryn Terrell comes out to Traci Brooks’ old music and says she knows she’s on probation, and her job is to control chaos, not create it. But when Gail Kim put her hands on Taryn twice, she had to retaliate. So, she guesses it’s time for her to accept the consequences. Gail Kim interrupts this little speech, takes the mic and says she’s glad Taryn learned her lesson, and that’s you don’t mess with Gail Kim. Gail Kim is the greatest female wrestler to have ever lived, and the greatest knockout in company history. She created the division, and without her, Taryn wouldn’t exist. Now, she’s going to call out Brooke Hogan to do what she should have done a long time ago, and that’s to fire Taryn. So Brooke, come out and do what we’ve been waiting for. Brooke says this was a hard decision for her to make, and she’s thought long and hard about it. Taryn, you know she loves you, but she has to be fair as the V.P. of the knockouts division, so she has to terminate Taryn as knockouts referee. She asks Kim if she’s happy, then says she has good news that might make everyone here happy. That news is that Taryn has been signed to the knockouts roster as an active competitor. Big surprise there. Taryn immediately spears Kim and knocks her to the floor before chasing her to the back.

Bully Ray comes out of the crowd and approaches Brooke on the ramp. He shows her he’s wearing his wedding ring and says, “’Til death do us part”. Brooke responds by saying, “I hate you” approximately 812 times.

We get another A and E video narrated by Bully Ray, and this time, he describes each unmasked member of the group and why they turned on TNA. A ridiculous amount of this video is spent on Wes Brisco and Garett Bischoff. Once again, nearly 10 minutes long.

Kurt Angle talks about tonight, and his match tonight is the most important in a year and a half, as it’s been that long since he was champion. He needs to prove he’s the best wrestler alive and the one to take down A and E, and that starts with the World title.

MATCH 3: Matt Morgan vs. Joseph Park
Morgan immediately shoves Park away, then piefaces him into the ropes. Park swings at him, but Morgan moves and shoves him into the turnbuckle. Morgan shoves him again, and Park shoves back before putting his fists up. Morgan drops him with a body blow, then screams “Forearm!” at him before hitting one across the back. Morgan continues to call his own moves as he does them. He hits a back elbow and a clothesline to the back of the head. Park climbs up to his feet in the corner, where he dodges an avalanche. Morgan rebounds and hits a discus clothesline. Headbutt by Morgan, and now he rakes the eyes over the middle rope. Morgan applies a modified surfboard stretch through the ropes. He calls for the Carbon Footprint, but misses and ends up crotching himself on the top rope. Park bounces Morgan back into the ring, hits a few punches and a clothesline. He ducks a clothesline and hits a running shoulderblock. Park goes to the middle rope and goes for the Closing Argument, but Morgan moves. He drops Park with the Carbon Footprint before falling on his own ass and gets the 3.

WINNER: Matt Morgan. Morgan should never use a pump kick as a finisher ever again. After all these years, he still can’t do it right.

AI stops Jeff Hardy to ask about Bully Ray. He says it means everything to get that belt back, but if it’s not him tonight, he knows Magnus, Joe and Angle are all ready to do it.

Mike Tenay is in the ring, and he brings out AJ Styles. Tenay says he’s known AJ for over 10 years and called every one of his matches in TNA, and considers them friends. Now he wants to know what’s been going on with AJ lately. AJ just stares at him. Tenay asks him about the rumors about alcohol and drug use. Taz cuts him off and says to let a professional do it. Taz says he saw the video on wherever the hell it is he’s from. Life’s about opportunities, and he was talking to the boys in A and E. So, he has a “PROSPECT” vest for AJ. He’d have to start off at the bottom, but the spot is his if he wants it. Taz makes fun of AJ’s motorcycle for a moment until James Storm comes out, mic in hand. He asks if this is the new AJ Styles, a guy who can’t even face who’s talking to him at the moment. That’s fine. He can be the new AJ with his new look, because the old AJ that Storm knew would say exactly what he thought about someone to their face. He can be the new AJ, but Storm is still the same douchebag. AJ can think about suckerpunching him again, but when you think about it, Storm is going to knock his teeth down his throat and spit out his stupid catchphrase. AJ stares at Storm for a minute before backing out of the ring. Storm says everyone wants to know what’s going on, but AJ isn’t listening.

Yet ANOTHER Bully Ray video, and this time it’s about Brooke Hogan and Sting. This one is a little shorter, only going about 5 minutes.

MATCH 4-4-Way Match to determine a new #1 contender for the World Championship: Samoa Joe vs. Magnus vs. Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Hardy
As I said on Facebook, Magnus may be the most underrated guy in this company. All four men are legal at all times, it looks like. Magnus attacks Hardy as Joe attacks Angle. Hardy and Angle get beaten down in opposite corners until Hardy ducks a punche and ifres off some of his own shots. Magnus pushes Hardy into Joe, and Joe hits a clothesline. He clotheslines Magnus, then hits a hip bump on Angle in the corner, followed by a spin kick to the head. Snapmare by Joe, and he chops the back, kicks the chest and drops a jumping knee for 2. Magnus and Hardy are brawling on the outside as Joe hits a chop on Angle. Joe dodges Angle and sends him to the floor, where Hardy and Magnus beat him down. Joe takes them all out with a suicide dive. Commercials.

Back from the break, Angle is hitting Magnus with punches, but runs into an inverted atomic drop by Joe. Magnus hits a running boot and Joe hits a running senton as Magnus gets 2 on Angle. He hits the misdirection clothesline on Joe, then a running knee on Angle. Hardy goes for a cross-body on Magnus, but gets caught with a modified northern lights bomb. Magnus drops a couple of elbows, getting 2. Magnus applies a rear chinlock, and Hardy fights out until Magnus whips him back down. Outside Angle rakes Joe’s eyes. Back in the ring, Magnus hits a running elbow across Hardy’s back. He stops Angle and Joe from getting back in the ring, then stomps Hardy down in the corner. Joe gets back in, and Magnus meets him with some knee strikes before getting hit with a back elbow. Joe with a series of headbutts, but runs right into the MGD by Magnus. Magnus rams Hardy into the corner and hits some forearms. He sends Hardy into the opposite corner, where Hardy hits a spinning headscissors. Hardy with an inverted atomic drop, double legdrop and seated dropkick. He hits sit-out Twists on both Angle and Joe, then hits the standard version on Magnus. Hardy goes up top for the swanton bomb, but Angle cuts him off. Hardy shoves Angle down, and Magnus drops Hardy with a shot to the face. Angle hits an overhead belly-to-belly on Magnus and a release German suplex on Joe. Ankle lock is applied on Joe, and Joe kicks him off into Magnus. Hardy hits a swanton on Joe and gets the 3.

WINNER: Jeff Hardy. Big surprise there.

End of show.

As always, feel free to follow me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/xdustineflx ,and if you like Married…With Children, you can follow my Al Bundy parody account at http://www.twitter.com/bundyisms. Also follow my personal blog at http://nerdslikeme.blogspot.com (feedback is welcome). Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out my mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:

Gerri Davis Banner, NPC National Level Heavyweight and Masters Female Bodybuilder

Thanks for reading, and as long as Spike TV still fronts the bill, I’ll see you next week.

WWE: WrestleMania 29 DVD

WWE: Bret Hitman Hart – The Dungeon Collection

Grab discounted WWE DVDs, merchandise, t -shirts, figures, and more from the WWE Shop on Amazon.com