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WrestleMania XXV: A Portrait in Wrestling History

April 01, 2014 By: Category: WWE | Pro Wrestling

WRESTLEMANIA XXV
From Reliant Stadium in Houston, TX
April 5, 2009

BACKGROUND
There have been many to criticize WWE for not knowing their history, often distorting facts and erroneously relaying anecdotes with the frequency of a con man on the witness stand. But this time, WWE is going to be taken to task for its poor math skills as well.

WrestleMania XXV was dubbed “The Twenty-Fifth Anniversary of WrestleMania”, which implies that WrestleMania began in 1984. While one may argue that the idea for event’s inception may have come from the year of Ronald Reagan’s re-election, the first event, clearly, took place in 1985.

“The Twenty-Fifth Anniversary of WrestleMania” was a repeated phrase, used dozens of times per broadcast in the weeks leading to the April 5 bonanza. It seemed almost apropos that a company would get something wrong, and then to their guns, continuing to get it wrong night after night, week after week, in every medium in which WrestleMania was advertised.

WWE can make its audience run a gamut of emotions, from “high satisfied to the point of pledging lifetime loyalty” to “wow, what made them think THAT was a great idea?” A misnomer in advertising would merely be the tip of the iceberg for a show that held high expectations.

Since WWE was demonstrating their ability to make continued miscalculations, it makes sense that they would bungle a number of other roads to their grand spectacle.

In the two world title matches, one would feature a nonsensical home invasion incident that would serve to take the story’s villain and reduce him to being a weakened oaf. The other would see the hero reveal a love triangle that featured the champion, his shrill authoritarian wife, and a seven foot monster.

Thankfully, there was one historically great match that would keep the show out of the landfill of wrestling’s mismanaged atrocities.

THE EVENT
Randy Orton would win the 2009 Royal Rumble, adding another brick to his well-built newer persona. Orton had ditched his generic “evil jock” routine, and was now bent on playing an unstable creep, whose deplorable random acts of violence were facilitated by intermittent explosive disorder (IED). The condition came to the forefront six days before the Rumble when Orton, about to be fired by Vince McMahon for insubordination, struck the boss, and then delivered a vicious punt to his head.

Orton would then target the McMahons further, horribly injuring Vince’s son Shane, and then dropping daughter Stephanie with an RKO. The latter act was done as a message to the WWE Champion, Stephanie’s husband Triple H.

After Hunter broke into Orton’s house and attempted to maim him with a sledgehammer, Orton one-upped the champion by DDTing Stephanie a week later, while Hunter was handcuffed to the ropes. Then, to punctuate his misdeed, Orton kissed Stephanie’s lifeless face while Triple H could only scream at him helplessly.

Over on Smackdown, Edge had finagled his way into becoming World Heavyweight Champion the same night he lost the WWE Title. After being eliminated from Smackdown’s Elimination Chamber at No Way Out three minutes into the match, Edge attacked Kofi Kingston and took over in the Raw match, outlasting champion John Cena and others to win the title.

In order to keep Cena out of the title picture, Vickie Guerrero inexplicably announced that Edge would defend the World Heavyweight Title against Big Show at WrestleMania. Cena, however, interrupted the signing by whispering something to Vickie, who then canceled the signing abruptly. Cena then was inserted into the match, as it was revealed that Vickie and Big Show had been having a discreet affair, and Cena had used video proof to extort his way into the match.

Speaking of depravity, Matt Hardy had double crossed his brother Jeff, costing him the WWE Title in January. Hardy had tired of Jeff stealing the spotlight designed for both Hardy Boyz, and would sign to face him in an Extreme Rules match at WrestleMania.

Also on the demented side, Chris Jericho’s obsession with the movie “The Wrestler”, starring Mickey Rourke, had brought him to rail against legendary figures who hang on for too long. Jericho would violently assault Ric Flair, Jimmy Snuka, Rowdy Roddy Piper, and Ricky Steamboat, leading to him signing for a three-on-one elimination match against the latter three Hall of Famers. Rourke would be in attendance as well.

On February 16, Shawn Michaels def. JBL in a match where the winner would have the right to challenge The Undertaker for WrestleMania, with a chance to end his streak at stake. Michaels would try to outduel Taker with the mind games, pointing out how “The Phenom” never once pinned him, and also tried to get in his head with religious overtones. Michaels was content to break his nice-guy facade, one upping The Undertaker with sneak attacks in the winding weeks as well.

Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, and Michael Cole called the entire event as a trio. Nicole Scherzinger performed “America the Beautiful”, while Kid Rock performed a song medley. The Hall of Fame saw inclusion of Stone Cold Steve Austin, Ricky Steamboat, Cowboy Bill Watts, The Funk Brothers, The Von Erichs, Koko B. Ware, and Howard Finkel

THE RESULTS
Money in the Bank: CM Punk def. Kane, Shelton Benjamin, MVP, Finlay, Christian, Kofi Kingston, and Mark Henry in 14:24
(The fans actually booed when Punk, still a face, won. That may have been the catalyst for one of my all time favorite heel runs in wrestling history. Match was solid, but nothing great, thanks to some very awkward spots)

25 Diva Battle Royal: Santino Marella won, last ousting Beth Phoenix and Melina in 9:26
(I refuse to dignify this crap any further. You can’t make me)

3 on 1 Handicap Elimination Match: Chris Jericho def. Rowdy Roddy Piper, Jimmy Snuka, and Ricky Steamboat in 8:53
(Jericho’s point about legends needing to go away was vindicated by Piper and Snuka wrestling like, well, Piper and Snuka. Steamboat looked amazing for having a 15 year layoff, and he and Jericho salvaged a crap match with just four minutes of work)

Extreme Rules: Matt Hardy def. Jeff Hardy in 13:13
(An underrated match sees both men have as violent a spotfest as possible. Hilarious moment: Jeff misses a pointless ladder leg drop, Matt hits a chair-wrapped Twist of Fate (which looked SICK), wins, and JR screams of how Matt has ruined the moment for Jeff. Uhh, Jim? Matt’s trying to win too)

WWE Intercontinental: Rey Mysterio def. JBL in 21 seconds to win the title
(The first time the Intercontinental belt is defended in the “WWE” era at WrestleMania, and it goes twenty one seconds. What a way for JBL to go. I did enjoy Rey’s “Joker” tribute though)

The Undertaker def. Shawn Michaels in 30:41
(If not for this match, we’d be talking about WrestleMania XXV the same way we talk about WrestleMania IX, or even an orphanage burning down. Just dramatic as could be throughout, and it deserved all the accolades that it received. It’s one of the five or ten greatest WrestleMania matches ever, and it saved the show)

World Heavyweight Championship: John Cena def. Edge and Big Show in 14:42 to win the title
(It wasn’t as bad as it could have been, as it did have a number of creative double teams and wild moments. But Cena winning (again), Show jobbing (again), and much of the action just seemed so derivative. It was alright)

WWE Heavyweight Championship: Triple H def. Randy Orton in 23:34
(They decided to blow off one of their hotter angles with a slow, awkward, punch-filled alleged brawl in which the crowd, all 70,000+ of them, was totally dead. Orton losing failed to get any kind of reaction, and you’ve noticed that Triple H hasn’t been involved in a major World Title program since)

ITS PLACE IN HISTORY
There was a Tag Team Title unification match scheduled for the show, with John Morrison and The Miz taking on Carlito and Primo, but due to time constraints, the match was relegated to the pre-show. Those fans who didn’t check the internet during the show didn’t realize the match had already taken place until near the end of the night.

It seems about right that WWE would take four hard working young talents and excise them from the main card in favor of the Divas Battle Royal, which had a 10 minute concert that no one liked, followed by 10 minutes of insulting “wrestling”.

This is one of those nights where WWE seemed to not know what the fans wanted. Triple H won to no reaction. John Cena won, again, to the misery of his detractors. Piper and Snuka waddled through the motions while the two aforementioned teams got pushed aside.

But at least, with Undertaker and Shawn Michaels, the fans were treated to a half hour of no pointless swerves, no cutesy self-congratulation, and no overbooking to build to another show. Instead, two of the greatest wrestlers in history wrestled, and they wrestled well.

So at least we had that.

Justin Henry has been an occasional contributor to Camel Clutch Blog since 2009. His other work can be found at WrestleCrap.com and ColdHardFootballFacts.com. He can be found on Twitter, so give him a follow.

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WrestleMania XXIII: A Portrait in Wrestling History

March 30, 2014 By: Category: Entertainment, WWE | Pro Wrestling

WRESTLEMANIA XXIII
From Ford Field in Detroit, MI
April 1, 2007

BACKGROUND
Being World Wrestling Entertainment has its share of diverse ways in which it can present its product. With an impressive active roster, a tremendous amount of classic legends willing to appear, expansion into wrestling-starved foreign countries, and a stranglehold on social media and merchandise licensing, even when the product falters, WWE still manages to thrive.

In 2006, WWE found itself spinning its wheels. John Cena, while a popular champion to youthful audiences, was getting choruses of boos from the more “time tested” fans who were used to wrestling being more coarse, bloody, raw (pun intended), and risqué than a near-thirty year old man in rainbow-ish t-shirts, trucker caps, and sneakers running his mouth as if he were the Disney Channel’s version of Eminem.

Since WWE was keen on keeping Cena champion long term (a strategy that has paid off if you consider merchandise sales and Cena’s cross-promotions), Vince McMahon needed something to keep the “hardcores” happy.

And the answer WAS hardcore. Well, rather, Vince’s definition of “hardcore”.

In June 2006, WWE opened a third brand, resurrecting the five-years-dead ECW, complete with Paul Heyman in charge. Joining Heyman were Joey Styles and Tazz on the stick, as well as classic stars of ECW’s past, such as Rob Van Dam and The Sandman. While the new ECW (dubbed WWECW by smart alecks) lacked the unpolished feel of the previous incarnation, ECW would serve as a nice alternative to Raw and SmackDown, creating a number of new stars in the process.

Also in the spring, WWE brought back another uncouth concept: D-Generation X. Triple H turned face for the first time in four years, reuniting with Shawn Michaels to recreate some old mayhem, albeit with less controversy.

With this mix of classic chaos and modern marketing, WWE was on the road to Detroit.

THE EVENT
For the first time since WWE allowed for two world titles to exist, the two title matches at WrestleMania would be exclusive to babyfaces only.

The Undertaker, after a decade and a half of raising Hell in WWE, finally could add a Royal Rumble victory to his resume. Being the first #30 entrant to win the January classic, Undertaker brawled with Shawn Michaels for the final eight or nine minutes, ousting his legendary counterpart by avoiding Sweet Chin Music.

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Undertaker now had his pick of opponent. Choosing between WWE Champion John Cena, World Heavyweight Champion Batista, and ECW Champion Bobby Lashley, “The Phenom” settled on Batista, who reigned supreme over Undertaker’s home show, SmackDown.

With SmackDown’s main event locked in, Cena’s opponent was determined by a triple threat match between Shawn Michaels, Edge, and Randy Orton. Michaels managed to beat the former World Tag Team Champions to earn the spot.

Making this match interesting was the fact that, long before Michaels had become Cena’s #1 contender, he and Cena had beaten Orton and Edge to become World Tag Team Champions. This marked the first time in WrestleMania history that tag titlists would fight over a singles belt.

Orton tried to stir the pot between the two men, showing a video of how Michaels had turned on every tag team partner he’d ever had, including Marty Jannetty, Diesel, and Hulk Hogan, among others.

Michaels tried to smooth things with his unlikely partner by saying that “this time is different”, but Michaels would still taunt Cena with a feint attempt at a Sweet Chin Music.

At No Way Out in February, Undertaker actually teamed with Batista to face Cena and Michaels in a non title match. The Raw brand team won, and things looked to still be copacetic between the two men.

Six days before WrestleMania, however, the two teams would have a rematch. This time, Michaels came through on Cena’s paranoia by blasting the WWE Champion with Sweet Chin Music. Michaels left Cena laying, and his partner fell victim to the loss. Michaels’ well-timed double cross fueled the fire for the main event match at WrestleMania XXIII.

Meanwhile, in an attempt to build mainstream interest in his annual money-making machine, Vince McMahon began a feud with real life media mogul Donald Trump. The two had a disagreement after Vince used an actor playing Trump (indy wrestler Ace Steel) to beat an actress playing Rosie O’Donnell on Raw. The match was so ill-received, that Trump himself taunted McMahon by saying that Vince didn’t know what the fans wanted.

The two bickered further, each picking a man to represent him at WrestleMania. Vince chose WWE Intercontinental Champion Umaga, while Trump chose ECW Champion Bobby Lashley. Stone Cold Steve Austin would be the guest referee, and the losing cornerman (Trump or McMahon) would have their head shaved bald after the match.

Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler handled Raw, Michael Cole and JBL called Smackdown, and Joey Styles and Tazz covered ECW, with all six men coming together for the opening match of the night. Aretha Franklin performed “America the Beautiful” as she had twenty years earlier at WrestleMania III. The Hall of Fame inductions saw the inclusion of Ross, Lawler, Dusty Rhodes, Mr. Perfect, Mr. Fuji, The Wild Samoans, The Sheik, and Nick Bockwinkel.

THE RESULTS
Money in the Bank: Mr. Kennedy def. Jeff Hardy, Matt Hardy, Edge, Randy Orton, King Booker, CM Punk, and Finlay in 19:05
(Highlights including Kennedy’s annoyed face at Hornswoggle when he tried to interfere, as well as Matt encouraging Jeff to do a crazy dive onto Edge through a ladder. “Do it Jeff! He stole Lita from us! Now no one’s there to make you ramen noodles!” Second best MITB match in WrestleMania history)

The Great Khali def. Kane in 5:31
(I like how Kane slamming Khali was juxtaposed with Hogan’s legendary slam of Andre from twenty years earlier in the show’s closing highlight package. As if they had the same memorable value)

WWE United States: Chris Benoit def. MVP in 9:19
(This, of course, would be the final WrestleMania for Benoit, as three months later he…..well, we all know what he did. It was a good, not great, match to go out on, and I still miss the man)

World Heavyweight Championship: The Undertaker def. Batista in 15:48 to win the title
(That’s fifteen. This match was a pleasant surprise, as Batista and Undertaker have this weird chemistry that simply cannot be explained. The two men exchange crisp power moves and ramp up the intensity with their above-average brawling. Great match, and the best feud of a dismal 2007)

Rob Van Dam, Tommy Dreamer, Sabu, and The Sandman def. Matt Striker, Marcus Cor Von, Elijah Burke, and Kevin Thorn in 6:25
(Seven men had their first WrestleMania match here. Those seven also had their last WrestleMania match. Oh, don’t act so surprised)

Battle of the Billionaires/Hair vs. Hair: Bobby Lashley def. Umaga in 13:04
(If Undertaker/Batista was a good surprise, then this was the opposite. Lashley was given a feud with McMahon and an endorsement from Austin and Trump, and still brought none of the energy or personality needed to make it to the next level. Lashley was overpushed, plain and simple)

WWE Women’s/Lumberjill Match: Melina def. Ashley in 3:13
(The bad news: this match was about 3:08 longer than Ashley is capable of working. Good news: Mickie looked great in her tight jeans at ringside. Shame she wasn’t wrestling)

WWE Heavyweight Championship: John Cena def. Shawn Michaels in 28:20
(The fact that Cena won turned a lot of fans off, but this is up there with the greatest matches in WM history. Michaels brought a more reserved, but grinding, personality to this, which included the awesome piledriver on the ring steps on Cena. Cena and Michaels worked their asses off here, and both of them deserve for this match to get a lot more credit than it does)

ITS PLACE IN HISTORY

The two World Title matches, as well as Money in the Bank, featured twelve men who worked their hardest to make WrestleMania as special as it’s meant to be. However, most of the hype going into the show revolved around Donald Trump‘s involvement, as well as his feud with McMahon, who was seriously getting out of control at this point regarding on-camera time.

When you have the three aforementioned matches on your show, you should walk away feeling great. But when you watch that Battle of the Billionaires, and you see how the fans barely reacted to Vince being shaved bald, and how they barely got behind an anemic talker like Lashley, who never looked like he wanted to be there, you feel a bit sour.

It’s like a concert. If you hype up Guns n Roses as the headliner, and you have three popular, but not yet legendary, acts (say Disturbed, Godsmack, and Saliva) performing, what if those three bands (who got less hype) rocked, and then GNR came out and absolutely sucked?

Do you hate the show because GNR sucked, or do you love it because the other bands owned it?

I guess the answer’s up to you.

Justin Henry has been an occasional contributor to Camel Clutch Blog since 2009. His other work can be found at WrestleCrap.com and ColdHardFootballFacts.com. He can be found on Twitter, so give him a follow.

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WWE WrestleMania X-Seven: Simply The Best

March 24, 2014 By: Category: WWE | Pro Wrestling

-For the remaining nine reviews, since they’re all 4 hours (and one is 5), I’ll be chopping out a little bit of quantity to make it my standard 4000+ word format. Which is a shame because for this show, I want to rant forever.

-Who was the April Fool on April 1, 2001 as we come to you from the Reliant Astrodome in Houston, TX for WWE WrestleMania X-Seven? Well, Vince had just bought WCW so they were finished, and ECW was days away from its bankruptcy hearing, so the biggest non-fool was Vince. Wait, why am I wasting time? I only have 4000 words to tell you that this is the greatest wrestling show in the history of time, so let’s just do it!

-Your hosts are Jim Ross and Paul Heyman, who had taken over for Jerry Lawler one month prior when Lawler quit the company. He quit in protest because WWE fired his girlfriend, the one who three months later ran off with an indie guy and publically disgraced “The King”. Boy, you can imagine THAT was embarrassing.

-No America the Beautiful or national anthem. Given the events that occurred five months later, do you really think WWE is a patriotic company, or just cashing in on jingoistic trends? You can guess my point of view.

-We start with the IC Title match, as Chris Jericho defends against then-commissioner William Regal. Jericho besmirched Regal by peeing in his tea, so Regal besmirched him back by kicking the snot out of him. That’s exactly how Magnum TA and Tully Blanchard got started.

-I miss the days before Regal discovered tanning, when every babyface opponent he had would light him up with chops just to redden his chest. Hunter can try that now with Sheamus, to see if the chest will match the hair.

-A lot of fan pinfall attempts, which leads one to think that this isn’t going to be a very long match. Everybody get your stuff in now!

-Regal slams Jericho into the exposed turnbuckle a couple of times, but Jericho basically shakes the pain off and hits the run-up enzuigiri. Of the eleven matches on this card, I think this is definitely the best opener choice. You can cut it short, and nobody gets upset about it. It’s also two pros that can bring the massive crowd to life in the early going, so good choices all around.

-Jericho lands a lionsault and remembers that his shoulder’s supposed to be hurt before covering Regal to keep the gold. Good seven minute opener that did what it had to do, and we’re off to a good start.

-Shane McMahon arrives in a limo. Forget Triple H and Stephanie, is Shane the biggest Jericho hater in the McMahon army? He can’t even show up in time for his match on the biggest night of the year, and he owns STOCK in the company!

-Next up, in a moderate “Get everybody on the show” attraction, Tazz and the APA take on Right to Censor members Val Venis, The Goodfather, and Bull Buchanan. Remember when Bradshaw used to have to get heat with his patriotic Texas boy suck-up rants? He has to namedrop Nolan Ryan here to get the crowd behind him, even though he’s fighting three tools in dress clothes who want to get rid of sex and violence. Tough times for JBL.

-Match is basically just an exhibition to keep the crowd noise on life support as we progress into the bigger matches. The only real spot of note is Tazz missing the top rope on a whip because he’s about 4’7”. Tazz can speak in that angry voice all he wants, but I still laughed.

-Bradshaw finishes a quick one with the Clothesline From Hell on Goodfather. At least the faces won, which keeps the fans happy. Can you believe that on the face team, you have a WWE Champion, WCW Champion, and ECW Champion? I couldn’t believe it either.

-Just a quick side note: the greatest character in wrestling history is comatose Linda McMahon. Seriously, she’s so lifeless, how does she DO it? Oh, that’s just how she really is?

-To give the crowd a violence appetizer before TLC later, Raven defends the Hardcore Title against Kane and Big Show. This is notable because Show’s late getting to the ring, and JR goes on a worked-shoot tangent about how Show can’t make a living off of potential, that he has to get it done in the ring. Man, when a guy who’s known for making barbecue references in every third sentence calls you a lazy mook, then maybe you should get ye a treadmill.

-After brawling backstage through the sea of people, Kane and Raven keep the tempo alive while Show sulks behind. Alright, JR, you were right.

-Show tries to lock himself and Raven in an enclosure, but Kane just rips the door off. Hey Show, if Kane can tear off the Hell in a Cell door, this should be a cinch. For a bonus, Kane throws Raven through a window. That’s enough to earn Kane the Mike Mizanin “I Came to Play” award.

-Then comes the golf cart chase, as Raven tries to drive off and he and Show barrel into the chain link fence, then Kane follows with the referee and proves to be a smooth driver, not unlike Mike Myers in the original Halloween. Then he runs over Raven’s leg. Well, ouch.

-Finally, Raven gets put out of his misery when the fight spills back onto the stage, and Kane kicks him and Show off through a side platform. Then Kane leaps off and covers Show for the win and the title. It seemed like it was just going to be filler at first, but it turned into quite the exciting little match. I enjoyed it.

-Kurt Angle’s too busy watching a match with he and Chris Benoit to have seen Raven’s effort in the last match. Well, that’s just selfish. Also, The Rock arrives now, just to spite the undercard. Screw Bull Buchanan, who’d he ever beat?

-Up next is the European Title, as Test defends against Eddie Guerrero. Hoo boy, is this match just plain creepy now. At least Perry Saturn’s hat cheers me up.

-Eddie does what he does best, and he sells for Test and his power display. Question: Why do we refer to Eddie Guerrero as “Eddie” but Chris Benoit as “Benoit”? Is it because “Guerrero” is too complicated to spell for some people? It’s a surname, for chrissakes, let’s just learn it. GUERRERO does what he does best. There, I broke the habit.

-Now to spice things up a bit, Test gets his ankle caught in the ropes, and they have to spend 60 seconds figuring out how to free him, getting a big ovation when they finally do. It’s the biggest pop Test got post-1999, so it’s definitely a banner night for all.

-Dean Malenko runs out to speed things things along, since he wants to see the Benoit/Angle match, so he helps Saturn distract Test, allowing Guerrero to hit Test with the European title for the win and the gold. Decent match, but just was there to get everyone involved. First heel win of the night.

-Mick Foley promises to call tonight’s Vince and Shane match right down the middle. Yeah, like Mick has a reason to be biased against Vince.

-Now for something a little more serious: Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit in a straight up one on one match. This is the first time in WWE history that I can recall two men doing the mat-wrestling stalemate sequence to begin a match, and getting a tremendous ovation for it. I like the story here, as Benoit keeps scaring Angle with the Crossface, and Kurt’s nerves lead to him falling into other Benoit moves. The psychology’s always sound with these two.

-Angle takes control, dominating Benoit on the outside and then pummeling him with suplexes inside. They were really beginning to get Angle over as a mat machine, you know, before he and Austin became unlikely best friends. Badges?

-Angle gets his belly to belly suplexes, and Benoit comes back with the rolling Germans. I think we have the first match of the night candidate. Sorry, Raven and Jericho, you’re out of the running.

-Now for a staple of WWE at the time: mind-screw submission holds, as Benoit applies Angle’s own anklelock, and Angle manages to get his own version of the Crossface. Crowd’s enjoying themselves too. Maybe there’s hope for Daniel Bryan yet.

-After a ref bump, Benoit gets Angle in his own Crossface, and Angle of course taps without an official. Story of Benoit’s life. As Benoit goes to maybe blow a snot rocket on the dead ref, Angle gets an Angle Slam for 2. After Benoit gets the diving headbutt, but when Benoit tries for a German, Angle goes low and gets a complicated rollover to win. Great match, and it told the characters’ stories to a tee: one is great, but the other is greater when he cheats. I’m enjoying myself all over again.

-Psuedo intermission segment where the following happens: Kamala destroys Regal’s office, footage is shown at the Fort Hood rally (RIP to those who perished in the recent shooting), and Benoit beats up Angle backstage and makes him tap.

-Ivory defends the Women’s title against Chyna, and since I have disdain for both performers, let’s just say that Chyna dresses like some demented version of a Bratz doll and beats Ivory in three minutes to win the title. Remember when Chyna said that belt was beneath her? So do I. She’d be gone within months to realize her true calling: incomprehensible walking meltdown for the Howard Stern fringe crowd. Always good to see someone realize their potential.

-Vince promises that tonight, we’re going to get “shocking”. I hate it when he promises surprises. He’d be a great evil dad in horror movies, though. “You wanna go for a ride? I’ll take you….for a ride….heh heh heh heh….”

-So it’s Vince and Shane in a street fight, which began when Shane defended Linda’s honor after Vince cheated on her publicly with Trish. Stephanie sided with Vince because of the whole Elektra complex. Shane then bought WCW before his dad could, just to show that he could run something as doomed to fail as the XFL. Foley’s the ref, just because. Linda’s in a wheelchair doing her best acting over. Trish is here too. Got all that?

-Shane gives a shoutout to his WCW homies in the skybox. LANCE STORM! HE FINALLY MADE IT TO WrestleMania! I wonder if he’s writing down notes on how horrible this show is. He’s like Comic Book Guy with a six pack.

-The brawl spills to the floor, where Shane bashes his dead with a metal sign, and then some SICK shots with a kendo stick that was under the ring. Good God, can Vince take a beating or what? Say what you will, but in these matches, he seems to have some sort of endurance level that can’t be obtained by mere mortals. I mean, Shane is just PASTING him, not even holding back. I’m loving it.

-Know who’s needed in the skybox? Ted Turner, just so he can mark out TOO hard when Shane beats his dad with assorted weapons. That would be a hallmark moment.
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-By the way, Heyman’s unabashed devotion to cheering Vince is insanely funny, and it sounds like the ranting of someone who desperately needs money. Funny because it’s true.

-So Shane wipes out through the Spanish commentary table as Stephanie pulls her dad off of it. Shane gets to play dead for the next five minutes or so as Trish brings Linda out in the wheelchair. Now comes the fun stuff.

-Trish slaps Vince to signal a face turn, and then she and Stephanie get into a fun catfight that Foley tries to break up. Scrooge. Trish finally chases Steph to the locker room, and that’s when Vince spots Linda at ringside. His mouthing of a certain obscenity is a great moment.

-Vince smashes Mick with a chair as Foley tries to get Linda to safety. He brings Linda inside and sits her in the corner, so she can watch as he punishes Shane further. After landing a couple trash can shots, Vince gets cocky before doing the third, and is oblivious to Linda standing up (to a CRAZY pop). Vince turns and she kicks him right in the Genetic Jackhammer. Then Foley beats Vince up, and then Shane lands the Shane Terminator (corner to corner dropkick, into a trash can into Vince’s face) for the win. THIS is the template for “overbooked crap” that we need more of. Just insanely fun stuff, and it still holds up even today. Hell, the whole SHOW is holding up.

-Backstage, Undertaker warms up for his eventual match by shadow boxing. That’ll work off the pork rinds if you do enough of them.

-In case that the last match wasn’t enough of an insane spotfest, here’s something to take things up another notch: the Tables, Ladders, and Chairs match between Tag Team Champions The Dudley Boyz, The Hardy Boyz, and Edge and Christian. Difference between this and last year is that this year, there’s no crappy show to have to kick into high gear.

-Much like last year, they get the poetry in motion and the Wazzzzzup drops out of the way, just to get to the bigger stuff in a flurry. I wholeheartedly support this idea.

-Here’s a sick one for you: both Hardyz slide into a ladder, knocking the Dudleyz against the guardrail. I have to say, the dark sky peeking in through the dome makes it feel like that this match is taking place at WrestleMania VI. I’d love to see the Rockers, Harts, and Demolition in one of these matches. Crap, I just blew my own mind.

-“D-VON…..GET THE TABLES!” And with that, a two wide, two high stack of four tables is set up in the aisleway. Anyone else think they’ll get used? I do.

-And just like last year, all six men climb a set of three ladders for a race-spot, and all six men tumble off in painful fashion. It was times like this when WWE really knew their audience.

-To add a new wrinkle to this year’s match, all three teams have an ally that makes his or her presence felt. As Edge climbs to get the belts, Spike Dudley runs in and nails him with the Dudley Dog. After Spike gives Christian one as well, Rhyno comes in and accosts Jeff Hardy on behalf of E&C. Then Edge tries going up again, and Lita runs in to pull him down. Jim Ross utters “Lita….jerkin’ Edge off” and then pauses before saying “the ladder!”. I’m immature, I know, but what are you going to do about it?

-Lita creams Spike with a sickening chair shot and then removes her top, just get hit with 3D. Anybody else miss her protruding thong?

-Jeff decides that now is a good time to be insane, as he uses the painter’s ladder to Swanton off and put Rhyno and Spike through at ringside. That whacky Jeff, always living for the moment.

-Then with Bubba and Matt on another painter’s ladder, Rhyno shoves it, sending both men flying through the table tower in the aisle in what I feel is the greatest table bump EVER. Prove me wrong, readers.

-Finally, Edge prevents D-Von from climbing, and Rhyno lifts Christian in an electric chair lift, pushing him up the ladder so that he can grab the belts for the win. Off the charts insanity that topped last year’s match, and the truncated length definitely helped. Great effort from everyone involved.

-Howard Finkel (#17!) announces the crowd at 67,925 which makes me feel all nostalgic for 1990 and WrestleMania VI. Then Limp Bizkit’s “My Way” plays. Well, that ruined the feeling. Still, it’s Fred Durst’s best song, so huzzah.

-And now for the gimmick battle royal, with Mean Gene Okerlund and Bobby Heenan returning to do commentary. The participants are The Bushwhackers, Duke Droese, Iron Sheik, Earthquake, Doink, The Goon, Kamala, Kim Chee, Repo Man, Jim Cornette, Nikolai Volkoff, Michael PS Hayes, One Man Gang, Gobbeldy Gooker, Tugboat, Hillbilly Jim, Brother Love, and Sgt. Slaughter. Somewhere, RD Reynolds had a tear in his eye. And it wasn’t because he knew he’d one day employ Blade Braxton.

-What follows is three minutes of bad brawling, but who cares? It was FUN. Sheik finally wins it after dumping Hillbilly, and then Slaughter runs in to apply the Cobra Clutch on the winner. Watch out Slaughter, he’ll do a Youtube shoot on you for that one.

-Hooray for the patron saint of camelclutchblog.com. YOU VILL BE HUM-BELLED!

-MOTORHEAD! Sure, Lemmy can’t do the words to Triple H‘s theme right, but it’s ok. Chill-inducing rendition of “The Game”, as we lead into the semi-main event of The Undertaker and Triple H, streak vs. nostrils. The feud featured Hunter’s most bad ass moment ever, when he took Taker down backstage, put a chair over his throat, and then sat on it while taunting him. Good stuff.

-Spanish announce table #2 goes in a hurry, thanks to HHH. Good to see Hunter keep his dad-in-law’s pro American stance alive.

-Back inside, after a SMALL ref bump, Taker is pissed when Mike Chioda counts slow, so Taker simply destroys him and knocks him out. With an elbow drop. For 10 minutes. If you heard two sounds of gunfire at this point, that was tranq darts being fired at Cornette backstage and Storm in the skybox. Just shut up, you two.

-The two men then brawl through the crowd and over to the production tower, which is a unique situation for a wrestling match. The two men fight in there, and Undertaker proceeds to chokeslam him out of it. SICKNESS! Well, until they show the replay, where Hunter landed on about 7 feet of padded foam. Eh well, looked nice at first.

-Back to the ring after the extended crowd brawl, and Chioda is still out. That was some elbow drop.

-After some tomfoolery with the sledgehammer, Taker is unable to connect after a low blow. Then to get all nostalgic, Taker lands a tombstone for 2. CHIODA’S ALIVE! I’m relieved.

-Taker then tries for the Last Ride, but Hunter grabs the sledge and bashed the Dead Man’s scalp on the way up. He busts him open, but it only gets 2. Hunter then tries to punch Taker in the corner, but puts himself in position for his Last Ride to make Taker 9-0. Really great brawl, as you’d expect from these two. Ten matches in, and I haven’t even stopped for a piss break. And I’m watching this at 11 PM at night, with work the next day at 1 PM. Ya rly!

-Austin-Rock highlight package set to “My Way”. Austin said he HAD to win this match. Question is, just what will Austin do to ensure victory?

-Crowd is 80-20 in favor of Steve Austin, who is the home state hero. The Rock was the WWE Champion, and you wondered how they were going to end this. I’ll bet nobody watching guessed it right.

-Finkel did announce that it was no DQ, which is apparently shocking. You mean after a match where Taker flagrantly beats up the referee, they just threw the rulebook out? Absurd!

-Both men slug it out early and they bust out the classic moves, namely Austin with his Thesz press and middle finger elbow. You can sense the desperation from Austin here.

-They brawl into the crowd, like everyone else has done tonight. I think even Finkel and timekeeper Mark Yeaton went over the railing at one point.

-Austin dominates in the early going, which is consistent with the “I need to win” motif that he has, believing that it’s all over for himself if he loses. It’s those subtle character hints that WWE does better than anyone else. Are you listening, Dixie?

-Austin gets a superplex for 2 and then removes the turnbuckle pad, but Rock comes back to shift the momentum. They fight to the outside and Austin busts him open with the ringbell. Austin’s not going down without a fight.

-Austin works the cut as much as he can, and brings Rock back in to try and bash him into the exposed buckle, but Rock blocks and fires with lefts and rights to stop Austin in his tracks. After the two men jostle for control, it’s Austin who, ironically, eats the steel buckle. Then Rock repays him by waffling him with the ring bell. Tremendous, cerebral stuff, with a big time feel.

-With Austin now bleeding and Rocky now firmly in charge, the champ works the open cut and both men are fighting to stay alive. On the outside, Austin shifts the momentum yet again and slingshots Rock into the post, before bashing him with a TV monitor. At this point, the eventual winner was still not evident.

-Austin tries for a Stunner, but Rock takes him down and slaps on the sharpshooter. Reminiscent of four years earlier, Austin is bloodied, but will not give up. Austin uses the ropes for escape, and then wraps Rock up with his own Sharpshooter. The implied one-upsmanship on display here is incredible, and is a testament to both’s men abilities.

-Austin manages to get a Million Dollar Dream, but Rock uses the Bret Hart pushoff counter to get 2. Then Vince McMahon comes to ringside. But….but why?

-Rock takes down Austin with a spinebuster and then lands the People’s Elbow, but it only gets 2 when….Vince breaks up the pin? This was all so fresh and baffling. Why would Vince be helping Austin in the World Title match?

-Then after Austin lands a Rock Bottom on its owner, he gets 2, and then gives Rock an emphatic low blow. Then Austin….requests a chair from Vince? Vince….obliges?

-From here, Austin and Vince proceed to double team Rock in a truly surreal sequence. After Rock manages a kickout, he gives Austin a Rock Bottom, but Vince prevents a count. Rock pulls Vince into the ring, but Austin stuns Rock, getting only 2! AMAZING.

-Now we get the big finish: Austin destroys Rock with chair shot after chair shot while Vince barks out encouragement. In all, Rock takes about two dozen chair shots to the chest, gut, back, and hips as his body just simply gives out and Austin pins him to win the title. Austin and Vince celebrate with a beer, a handshake, and then Austin lays out Rock with the title to pull the trigger on his shocking heel turn. Excellent match to cap off an excellent show and, although the heel turn proved to be ineffective, the concept was interesting, and it added a new dimension to the character’s psyche: Austin felt his end was coming soon, and he had to do everything he could to hold his main event spot to prevent becoming an afterthought. Brilliant idea, but it just didn’t work.

-Limp Bizkit plays us out of here with a beautiful montage to “My Way”. I have to say, that might be my favorite WrestleMania song ever. And I HATE Fred Durst!

-CYNIC SAYS: Ho. Lee. Crap. I don’t think Vince McMahon, even with a perfect roster and a huge wave of momentum, could ever top this show. It was perfect from start to finish, and everything had a purpose. Those purposes were thusly served to perfection. Four matches you could make an argument were four stars are better: the technical masterpiece (Benoit/Angle), the wild soap opera (Vince/Shane), the insane spotfest (TLC), the mano y mano brawl (HHH/Taker), and the battle of the larger than life immortals (Rock/Austin).

This show is regarded as the end of the Attitude era, but what a way for it to go out. WWEE has not seen heights like this since, and although it may again one day, it’ll take a lot to convince me that it’s as good as this card. What’s left to say?

Oh, I know.

POSITIVE. FIVE. STARS!

Justin Henry has been an occasional contributor to Camel Clutch Blog since 2009. His other work can be found at WrestleCrap.com and ColdHardFootballFacts.com. He can be found on Twitter, so give him a follow.

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WWE WrestleMania X-Seven: A Portrait in Wrestling History

March 24, 2014 By: Category: WWE | Pro Wrestling

WRESTLEMANIA X7
From The Houston Astrodome in Houston, TX
April 1, 2001

BACKGROUND
After two straight WrestleManias in which the WWF held a sizeable lead over WCW in the Monday Night Wars, the Monday before WrestleMania X7 would see Vince McMahon pull the plug for good.

On Friday, March 23, 2001, McMahon purchased selected assets of World Championship Wrestling from parent company AOL-Time Warner, ending WCW’s 13 year existence. After gutting the corpse of talent contracts and the film library, McMahon left WCW for dead, effectively monopolizing the wrestling industry for himself.

On Monday, March 26, wrestling fans were treated to a surreality of Vince McMahon being the first face seen as Nitro hit the airwaves for the final time. Raw and Nitro would be simulcast , with the WWF overseeing both shows. As Nitro came to a close at the 10 o’clock hour, Shane McMahon revealed, in story terms, that he swooped in and bought the WCW entity from under his dad’s nose. The WCW acquisition by Shane would lead to a faux-interpromotional war between Vince’s WWF and Shane’s WCW, which, while highly anticipated by fans the world over, fizzled to an unsatisfying conclusion.

Meanwhile, McMahon’s ill-fated Xtreme Football League was limping to its demise after one lone season, due to poor play, a lack of name players, and generally polarizing publicity stunts.

However, in the World Wrestling Federation, life remained grand. After taking their programming to Viacom in September 2000 (Raw on TNN, Heat on MTV), the WWF was helped along by Stone Cold Steve Austin’s return that month, after a ten months injured.

The main event scene was clogged with the usual pieces like Austin, The Rock, Triple H, and Undertaker, while clearing space for the likes of Kurt Angle, Chris Benoit, and Chris Jericho.

As WrestleMania X7 was built to perfection, few knew that things would change drastically afterward.

THE EVENT
Stone Cold Steve Austin won the 2001 Royal Rumble, becoming the event’s only three time winner, and earning a main event match at WrestleMania. The Rock, one month later, would defeat Kurt Angle to regain the WWF Championship, setting the stage for a highly-anticipated encounter between he and Austin, would both men as faces.

The two men did a sitdown interview weeks before the match, giving legitimate compliments to each other, while throwing in some backhanded remarks to heighten the tension. In a curious tidbit that was overlooked by the majority of fans, Austin repeatedly stated that he “needed” to win this match. Austin didn’t elaborate too much on why victory was of the utmost necessity, but the phrasing seemed to be his central point.

Rock and Austin would spend the waning weeks saving each other from double team assaults featuring the likes of Angle, Rikishi, Haku, and others, while using each other’s vulnerable state to plant each other with their finishing moves, as well as lifting the other man’s move (Rock performing the Stone Cold Stunner, Austin the Rock Bottom) to try and gain a psychological edge on the other man.

Although built up as a match of equals with a mutual respect in spite of their over competitive meddles, Austin’s “needing” to win would lead to an unforgettable decision.

Shadowing the main event was an encounter between The Undertaker and Triple H, ten years before they’d face off at WrestleMania XXVII. At this point, however, Triple H was more of an inconsiderate hatemonger, while Undertaker had put his ghoulish attire away in exchange for his biker duds. The story began when Triple H lamented not being in the WrestleMania main event (after beating Austin one month prior at No Way Out). “The Game” claimed to have beaten everyone in WWE there was to beat, drawing Undertaker’s ire.

The two men would exchange instances of brutality over the next several weeks, with Undertaker being busted open with a sledgehammer shot, and then returning the favor by destroying Helmsley’s limo with a lead pipe. Undertaker even had brother Kane hold Stephanie McMahon hostage, threatening to toss her from a balcony, if William Regal wouldn’t give him Triple H for WrestleMania. The commissioner relented, and the match was on.

As mentioned earlier, Vince and Shane McMahon were in the midst of another spat over WCW’s ownership, and the two would sign to face off in a street fight. Mick Foley, whom Vince canned in December, would return to be the guest referee.

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The underlying saga at hand was Vince’s intent to divorce wife, Linda, during a fit of anger in the same time period. Linda was stricken by grief and shock, and lapsed into a catatonic state, resulting in institutionalization. McMahon then began cavorting around with Trish Stratus, while embarrassing her as well at will, and promised to bring wheelchair-bound Linda to ringside for the street fight.

Jim Ross and Paul Heyman (fresh from the wreckage of ECW) would call the action in WWF’s first domed Wrestlemania in nine years. Members of the WCW roster such as Lance Storm, Mike Awesome, Stacy Keibler, and others would appear in a skybox as onlookers. Legendary metal warriors Motorhead would also appear, to play Triple H to the ring with his popular theme “The Game”.

THE RESULTS
WWF Intercontinental: Chris Jericho def. William Regal in 7:08
(Jericho lamented this match in his latest book, thinking it was too short, but it served the purpose of getting the show going. Jericho would be repaid for his hard work later, obviously)

Tazz/APA def. Right to Censor in 3:53
(You know what’s amazing? Everyone on the face team can claim a World Title. And two of them became good color commentators, while the other became known for “DAMN!”)

WWF Hardcore: Kane def. Raven and Big Show in 9:18 to win the title
(Insane fun, especially the golf cart chase, as well as Jim Ross’ cryptic remark at Big Show: “Show has all the potential in the world, but you can’t make a living off potential! You gotta get it done!” That means you’re useless, Show)

WWF European: Eddie Guerrero def. Test in 8:30 to win the belt
(It’s depressing that both men are dead, so I’ll just lighten the mood by complimenting Perry Saturn and his awesome furry hat. I want one)

Kurt Angle def. Chris Benoit in 14:02
(The first true technical classic since Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels faced off five years earlier in the Iron Man match, and this one was merely one quarter the length of that. Good wrestling is always welcome in the eclectic blend that is WrestleMania)

WWF Women’s: Chyna def. Ivory in 2:39 to win the title
(If you hate Chyna, fear not: she won’t appear in these WrestleMania portraits anymore)

Street Fight: Shane McMahon def. Vince McMahon in 14:12
(Geez, where to begin? Well, there was a kendo stick, a cat fight between Trish Stratus and Stephanie McMahon, Shane missing a flying elbow through a table, Linda coming out of her pseudo-coma to kick Vince in the nuts, and Shane hit the Van Terminator to win. Overbooked insanity at its finest)

WWF World Tag Team/Tables, Ladders, and Chairs: Edge/Christian def. The Hardy Boyz and The Dudley Boyz in 15:53 to win the titles
(Rarely would a TLC match have its work cut out for it after any match, but Vince and Shane pulled out all the stops. TLC did as well, adding each team’s respective ally (Rhyno, Lita, and Spike Dudley) to up the ante. Next to Summerslam 2000, this is the greatest TLC match ever. All six men would still have greater career heights ahead of them as well)

Gimmick Battle Royal: The Iron Sheik won, last eliminating Hillbilly Jim in 3:05
(Mean Gene and Bobby Heenan were on commentary, Repo Man showed up, and Iron Sheik humbled his way to victory. My cable could have went out after this match, and it still would have won “Best Show Ever” from me)

The Undertaker def. Triple H in 18:17
(That’s nine. Crazy brawl that featured an improbable ten minute ref bump (after a frigging stomp and elbow drop from Taker), but it was still intense throughout. Undertaker also kicked out of a sledgehammer shot, so there were still traces of his zombie gimmick there)

WWF World Heavyweight: Stone Cold Steve Austin def. The Rock in 28:06 to win the title
(And then it happened: a classic back-and-forth war between two of the greatest ever sees Vince McMahon storm the ring and assist Austin in bloodying and battering Rock, leading to Austin winning the title, shaking hands with McMahon, and turning heel. Mind blowing at the time, head scratching in hindsight, the show ended with Austin and McMahon aligned, ending the Attitude Era)

ITS PLACE IN HISTORY
At this time, the WWF began to use music from contemporary artists as the themes for their pay per views. For WrestleMania X7, Limp Bizkit’s “My Way” provided a goosebump-inducing soundtrack to one of the most dramatic and exciting events in wrestling history.

“My Way” is appropriate, because that’s what Vince McMahon had to do to get to this point. His way brought WCW to its knees and made wrestling mainstream, after all. But on the other blade of the double edged sword, McMahon’s penchant for not listening to naysayers saw him curiously turn Austin heel, sending a shockwave through the industry.

Austin’s neutering into an non-confident, insecure villain, not to mention The Rock’s hiatus to film The Scorpion King, resulted in a WWF that felt drastically different. When Triple H tore his quadriceps in May, and that was followed by the horrid Invasion angle, the WWF had completely lost the aura of “cool” that Attitude afforded them.

As a show, it’s the greatest single event that the WWF has produced from a quality standpoint. The ending, however, is like a black mark on a white wedding dress. It’s glaring ugliness stands out just as much as the quality event.

Justin Henry has been an occasional contributor to Camel Clutch Blog since 2009. His other work can be found at WrestleCrap.com and ColdHardFootballFacts.com. He can be found on Twitter, so give him a follow.

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WWE WrestleMania 2000: A Portrait in Wrestling History

March 23, 2014 By: Category: WWE | Pro Wrestling

WRESTLEMANIA 2000
From The Arrowhead Pond in Anaheim, CA
April 2, 2000

BACKGROUND
If the WWF could be declared winners of the Monday Night Wars just one year prior to WrestleMania 2000, then the current time period would be akin to smashing WCW’s corpse into powder with a shovel. In August 1999, WCW let one of their best talents slip through the cracks, as Chris Jericho arrived in the World Wrestling Federation to much fanfare, almost immediately rising to a high profile level that he never got to sniff in Eric Bischoff’s dwindling circus.

Five months later, in January 2000, after a booking shake-up and a rash of upper card injuries, chaos reigned in WCW at one of the company’s weakest thresholds. In the turmoil, beleaguered man-in-charge Bill Busch granted releases to four men that helped salvage the horrible booking with their in-ring work: Chris Benoit, Dean Malenko, Perry Saturn, and Eddie Guerrero. The four men would appear in the WWF two weeks after their exodus, and would be dubbed “The Radicalz” upon entry.

Life was already grand, however, for Vince McMahon. Although Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Undertaker would miss this year’s WrestleMania with serious injuries, and with Mick Foley retiring after having one last match at the big event, the WWF still had enough reserve to move forward. Triple H was hitting his stride as the top villain, heading into Anaheim already in his third WWF Championship reign. By his side was Stephanie McMahon, who underwent a curious heel turn in the winter to become Hunter’s conniving wife.

The two formed a power couple, running roughshod over the WWF. As they and the rest of DX thrived, the fans still had The Rock, Foley, tag team sensations like The Hardy Boyz, Edge and Christian, Too Cool, and a new star in Rikishi (the returning Fatu).

WWF Attitude yet reigned supreme.

THE EVENT
Triple H narrowly survived two encounters with Cactus Jack (one a street fight, the other in Hell in a Cell where he “retired” Foley) to carry the WWF Championship into WrestleMania 2000. The Rock also won the 2000 Royal Rumble, eliminating the Big Show in controversial fashion in the closing moments.

While logic would dictate that Rock vs. Triple H was the sensible main event for the biggest card of the year, that controversial ending would rear its ugly head. Show protested for weeks, using scores of evidence to convince Triple H (running the show after Vince McMahon “walked out”, distraught over Stephanie’s turn) to give him a match with The Rock to determine the true #1 contender.

At No Way Out 2000, Show defeated Rock, after Shane McMahon interfered on Show’s behalf. Rock would work his way back into the title picture by getting yet another match with Show, this time with the seething Vince McMahon himself prodigally returning. McMahon took his own son out, took over as referee, and counted Rock’s pin.

The following week, Linda McMahon came into the picture, supporting Mick Foley in his bid to finally headline WrestleMania, unretiring him for that one night.

So the final picture was Triple H (with Stephanie) vs. The Rock (with Vince) vs. Big Show (with Shane) vs. Mick Foley (with Linda) for the WWF Championship.

While the main event was somewhat tempered by this development (even dubbed as “A McMahon in Every Corner”), the rest of the card shaped up to accentuate the fresh faces.

Kurt Angle, an Olympic gold medalist, had made his in-ring debut in November 1999, and he hit the ground the running. Taking on the persona of an oblivious goody-goody who brags about his accomplishments while being unable to figure out why the world finds him so obnoxious, Angle ascended the WWF ranks swiftly, capturing the European and Intercontinental Titles with three weeks of each other.

A double champion, Angle was given a double challenge for the new millennium’s first WrestleMania: a two fall match. Angle would defend both belts in concurrent triple threat matches with charismatic rock star Chris Jericho, and machine-like sadist Chris Benoit. The three fine technicians would compete for the Intercontinental belt in fall one, and then the European title right afterward.

Also on the WWF’s “must fly list” were three tag teams that were on the cusp of being made true stars. The WWF World Tag Team titles resided with the Dudley Boyz, fairly fresh from a groundbreaking run in ECW. They would be paired together against Edge and Christian, who ditched their “Lost Boys” visage in favor of being self-deluded bro-ski’s, and the Hardy Boyz, who became teen idols for their youthful flair, as well as their daredevil antics.

The match would attempt to raise the bar set by Shawn Michaels and Razor Ramon ten years prior: a triple threat ladder match, with plenty of other weapons handy.

Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler brought the action from ringside, while junior ring announcer Lillian Garcia kicked the show off with “America the Beautiful”. Rapper Ice T was on hand for a live performance before the opening match, while Pete Rose made his third consecutive appearance. Not only did he eat a chokeslam this year, he also ate a stinkface.

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THE RESULTS
Big Bossman/Bull Buchanan def. The Godfather/D-Lo Brown in 9:05
(This might be the most random opener in the history of WrestleMania. I have nothing nice to say about this match, so I’ll just say that the “ho” that resembled Li’l Kim was quite stacked)

WWF Hardcore: Hardcore Holly won a “duration challenge” over Crash Holly, Bradshaw, Faarooq, Tazz, Viscera, Mosh, Thrasher, Taka Michinoku, Funaki, Pete Gas, Rodney, and Joey Abs in 15:00 to win the title
(This is notable for Tim White screwing up the final count (Crash was initially supposed to win), and for Funaki winning a belt. Everybody move your lips randomly………..IN-DEED!)

T&A def. Head Cheese in 7:05
(Two teams with the worst names for tag teams have one of the worst matches that two teams with those names could possibly have. But hey, twas the PPV debut of Trish Stratus. Woooo!)

WWF World Tag Team/Triple Ladder Match: Edge & Christian def. The Hardy Boyz and The Dudley Boyz in 22:29 to win the titles
(And thus, a new standard was born. Crazy spotfest that was ahead of its time, although repeat matches of its type would blow this out of the water in terms of pacing. Slow as it was in hindsight, it was still an incredible match that elevated six young talents to a new level. See WCW? See TNA? Elevation! And besides, it spawned Edge and Christian’s “reeking of awesomeness”. So we have that)

Out of the Ring Challenge: Terri def. The Kat in 2:25
(What’s worse: Val Venis getting stuck reffing this, or the fact that this was the ONLY singles match of the show?)

Chyna/Too Cool def. Eddie Guerrero/Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn in 9:38
(Eleven years later, in order: a Howard Stern running gag, a burnt out 40 year old Dolph Ziggler lookalike, a forgotten “worm” guy, a dead legend, a fat and retired legend, and a man who was recently homeless. Yeesh)

Two Fall Euro-Continental Title Match: Chris Benoit won fall won over Kurt Angle and Chris Jericho to win the Intercontinental Title; Jericho won the second fall over Angle and Benoit in 13:35 to win the European Title
(And that was the story: Angle losing both belts without being singularly defeated for either. Good match, although Jericho hated it with a passion, as per his new book. Crowd was dead, but it’s Anaheim. You don’t expect fireworks in Anaheim)

Rikishi/Kane def. X-Pac/Road Dogg in 4:16
(Historical note: Tori became the first woman to ever take Rikishi’s stinkface. It was good payback for her lousy efforts one year earlier)

WWF World Heavyweight: Triple H def. The Rock, Mick Foley, and Big Show in 36:28
(An absolute shocker; Vince turned on Rock with two chair shots and realigned with his daughter and son-in-law. The match was WAY too long, and it dragged to a finish that satisfied no one, even if Rock did take out Hunter and the McMahons at the end)

ITS PLACE IN HISTORY
Clearly, with the bizarre booking, Vince McMahon either decided that a good swerve would shake things up, to defy fan expectations, or he no longer feared WCW and figured that such a non-pleasing set of events wouldn’t hurt his company any. In fact, Nitro was pre-empted the following night for retooling, so it seems Vince didn’t fear losing much of his audience.

While WrestleMania 2000 is often remembered for the changeover of talent (those in the ladder and two fall matches, especially), the main event stands out most as the “portrait” of the show. While the wrestlers did the work, it was the McMahons, namely Vince and Stephanie, that took hold of the spotlight.

In a sense, you can’t blame them. It was a self-congratulating moment when Vince embraced his daughter with a hug at the show’s conclusion, but the picture spoke in a clear tone. It said “We run this company, and we dominate this business. If we want to end the biggest show of the year by making the parting shot ours, then we will.”

Sadly, this would just be the beginning of a McMahon “overdose” that would occasionally worsen well after the death of the Attitude era.

Justin Henry has been an occasional contributor to Camel Clutch Blog since 2009. His other work can be found at WrestleCrap.com and ColdHardFootballFacts.com. He can be found on Twitter, so give him a follow.

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Ranking The WWE Elimination Chamber Matches

February 18, 2014 By: Category: lists, WWE | Pro Wrestling

It’s War Games, Survivor Series, and Royal Rumble all in one – it’s the Elimination Chamber? Devised in kayfabe by Eric Bischoff over a decade ago, the Chamber has been used to decide both championships and championship opportunities. The oft-stated forboding nature of this domed structure is palpable enough to have spun off its own annual PPV each February.

There have been 16 such Elimination Chamber matches to date, and here they are, from worst to best.

The Godawfully Ghastly

16. ECW Championship: Big Show (c) vs. Rob Van Dam vs. CM Punk vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Test vs. Hardcore Holly (12/3/06, December to Dismember)
WINNER: Lashley
MOST ELIMINATIONS: Lashley, Test (2)

Any hopes that ECW diehards had of their resurrected brand fulfilling the lost appeal of the original, died in Augusta, GA on this night. Vince McMahon monkeyed with Paul Heyman’s creation one last time before dismissing Paul E one day later, and the result was, in some ways, the beginning of the end of McMahon’s teflon-coated characterization

Crowd favorites Punk and Van Dam were eliminated early to set the stage for Lashley’s (in theory) Superman finish, where he plowed through Test and Show to win the gold. A mixed reaction met Vince’s next big thing, and Vince would soon enter a feud with him that was lukewarm at best. The addition of weapons to this Chamber couldn’t save it.

15. World Heavyweight Championship: Triple H (c) vs. Goldberg vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Kevin Nash vs. Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton (8/24/03, SummerSlam)
WINNER: Triple H
MOST ELIMINATIONS: Goldberg (3)

Helmsley was saddled with leg injuries, and a noticeable gut, from a lack of his usual workout regimen. He performed exactly 2 minutes of physical work in the match, and scored the victory over Goldberg to retain the gold. Had WWE not been in a rut of dwindling ratings and putrid creative in 2003, Goldberg’s loss would have rivaled his WCW loss to Nash at Starrcade.

Many expected Goldberg to be what they knew him to be from day one: a muscle-bound bulldozer. And he was, mowing through Orton, Michaels, and Jericho to leave himself with the champion. But Ric Flair slid a sledgehammer to his charge, and after one simple knock to the head of “The Man”, a rather dismal SummerSlam ended on such a disappointing note.

14. WWE Championship: John Cena (c) vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Carlito vs. Chris Masters vs. Kurt Angle vs. Kane (1/8/06, New Year’s Revolution)
WINNER: Cena
MOST ELIMINATIONS: Carlito (3)

Journey back with me over 7 years to a time when Cena “overcoming the odds” was a fairly novel concept. Cena became the first man in the Chamber’s history (to be fair, this was the fourth such incarnation) to win the match from one of the two starting spots. The match is known more for its aftermath (Edge cashing in the briefcase) than the actual bout.

Angle was gone quicker than a flash, and Carlito and Masters would take over the match. Cena was busted open, and the midcard duo summarily eliminated Kane before Carlito scoring a surprising pin on Michaels. Then Carlito backstabbed Masters with a roll-up pin before Cena, in his crimson mask, rolled up Carlito seconds later to retain the title.

13. World Heavyweight Championship: John Cena (c) vs. Edge vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Jericho vs. Mike Knox vs. Kane (2/15/09, No Way Out)
WINNER: Edge
MOST ELIMINATIONS: Edge, Mysterio (2)

This was during the annoying period where both World Titles changed a combined 65 times in 3 weeks (give or take a dozen switches), and Cena’s 3 month reign (an eon in this era) ended in one of the rare times where you knew for sure he was cooked. And it all began when Edge attacked original entrant Kofi Kingston, and Vickie Guerrero allowed Edge his entry.

See, Edge was WWE Champion headed into the show, and he lost the Chamber earlier in the night in a matter of minutes (minor spoiler). So he, being the “Ultimate Opportunist” just finagled his way into this match, and you knew Edge would somehow win. Cena didn’t record a single elimination, amazingly, and Edge speared Mysterio to gain the other title.

The Appropriately Audacious

12. WWE Championship: Sheamus (c) vs. John Cena vs. Triple H vs. Randy Orton vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Ted Dibiase (2/21/10, Elimination Chamber)
WINNER: Cena
MOST ELIMINATIONS: Everyone but Orton (1)

This may have leveraged its way up the list a little bit, had Cena not lost the title minutes later to Batista, per Angry Vince’s impromptu booking. As it was, this one was stocked with its share of interesting plot developments, notably in the form of Cody Rhodes interfering for Dibiase to get Orton out first, and a grueling Cena/HHH finish that coulda gone either way.

Sheamus’ first run as champion, before he was a grinning doofus with a latently racist mindset, ended after 2 months, when his real-life mentor Helmsley Pedigreed him. With the Celtic Warrior gone, HHH and Cena had a race to the wire, but Cena proved to be too much, and made Helmsley tap to the STF. And then it was off to put Batista over.

11. World Heavyweight Championship: Daniel Bryan (c) vs. Big Show vs. Great Khali vs. Santino Marella vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Wade Barrett (2/19/12, Elimination Chamber)
WINNER: Bryan
MOST ELIMINATIONS: Marella (2)

What began as a very mundane, very bland Chamber match (with the crowd even chanting their displeasure) turned into a rather exciting contest by the end, thanks to some surprising booking. Khali and Show were eliminated early on, leaving Marella as the only babyface if you don’t count the love for Bryan. And that’s when things began to get interesting.

Marella surprised Rhodes with a roll-up to eliminate the Intercontinental Champion, and then cooperated with Bryan to get rid of Barrett. In many cases, Santino Marella is merely the comedic patsy, but here, he won the crowd over as he nearly defeated Bryan on several occasions, building to a fever pitch where he finally tapped to the Yes/No Lock.

10. #1 Contender’s Match: Undertaker vs. Batista vs. Finlay vs. MVP vs. Big Daddy V vs. Great Khali (2/17/08, No Way Out)
WINNER: Undertaker
MOST ELIMINATIONS: Undertaker (3)

For the very first time, a Chamber match had merely the opportunity for a title match at stake, as opposed to actual gold. The idea that Khali and the former Mabel would be in position to have a chance to become champion is frightening enough, but they were fortunately done away with before they could bog down the works. With them gone, the real fun began.

It was Undertaker’s showcase, and not since he battered Mick Foley inside Hell in a Cell had he looked so violently dominant. MVP was killed off via a chokeslam off a pod, and Finlay met his end with a chokeslam on the grating. Taker remained with the man he had the best feud of 2007 with, and after brawling it out with his nemesis, a Tombstone put Batista way.

9. #1 Contender’s Match: Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton vs. Jack Swagger vs. Kane vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry (2/17/13, Elimination Chamber)
WINNER: Swagger
MOST ELIMINATIONS: Orton, Henry (2)
A shot at Alberto Del Rio’s World Heavyweight Title hung in the balance, so you’d figure a heel was winning this one. Being that Del Rio was blander than flavorless soup in his sudden turn as a lunch-bucket immigrant, it was appropriate that the equally bland Swagger would earn the shot, after suddenly returning as Rick Perry with muscles. Lucky us.
Still, the match was quite good, particularly when Henry entered and began demolishing everything in sight. The crowd lost its steam when Henry was downed by Orton’s RKO, and it seemed apparent that Swagger, inexplicably, was the only likely winner. After Orton RKOed Jericho out, Swagger indeed cradled Orton to win.

8. #1 Contender’s Match: John Cena vs. CM Punk vs. Randy Orton vs. John Morrison vs. R-Truth vs. Sheamus (2/20/11, Elimination Chamber)
WINNER: Cena
MOST ELIMINATIONS: Punk (2)

A chance to face The Miz at WrestleMania XXVII, and a chance to be overshadowed by The Rock, hung in the balance. Consolation prizes included: teaming with Snookie, having your US Title match bumped from the big event, and being relegated to the pre-show battle royal. But rather than focus on the bass-ackward booking, let’s talk about the fun of this contest.

In a creative moment, Punk was eliminated seconds into his entrance, but was allowed to stay per the anonymous GM (remember that?) who ruled that Punk’s faulty pod door unfairly hindered him. Morrison landed a bizarre dive off the chamber’s concave roof onto Sheamus, which coincided a short push for him. Cena, of course, won in the end after AA’ing Punk.

The Excitingly Extreme

7. World Heavyweight Championship: The Undertaker (c) vs. Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio vs. John Morrison vs. R-Truth (2/21/10, Elimination Chamber)
WINNER: Jericho
MOST ELIMINATIONS: Everyone but R-Truth (1)

Although Jericho’s victory would lead to a forgettable angle with Edge for the title (“SPEEEEEEEEAR”), and ultimately a title switch to Jack Swagger, this Chamber provided not only some fast-paced, brutal action, but the ending set up WrestleMania even moreso than Jericho’s title win, and it would lead to the exodus of one of wrestling’s greatest stars.

Truth and Punk were early exits, leading to Mysterio and Morrison to carry the body of the match with their typical stuntwork. Once they were gone, Undertaker was fixing to finish off Jericho, but Shawn Michaels popped up through the grating, and superkicked Undertaker, allowing Jericho to win. HBK got his rematch; the focal point of WrestleMania XXVI.

6. WWE Championship: Edge (c) vs. Triple H vs. Jeff Hardy vs. The Undertaker vs. Big Show vs. Vladimir Kozlov (2/15/09, No Way Out)
WINNER: Triple H
MOST ELIMINATIONS: Undertaker, Triple H (2)

As mentioned previously, this is the era where you’d wake up to a new champion seemingly every other day until Randy Orton, of all people, provided some stability over the spring and summer. But at least the matches weren’t always shoddy. Some of them, like this one, featured a number of main eventers at their hard-working peak. Also, Vladimir Kozlov was involved.

Edge was eliminated in under three minutes via fluke pin, so a new champion was guaranteed. Once Kozlov bit the bullet, you had four credible stars that could have each potentially walked out with the gold. The proceedings whittled down to Undertaker and HHH, who did more in 7 minutes than they did with 30 inside Hell in a Cell. A Pedigree gave Hunter his final World Title.

5. World Heavyweight Championship: Triple H (c) vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho vs. Booker T vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Kane (11/17/02, Survivor Series)
WINNER: Michaels
MOST ELIMINATIONS: Jericho, Michaels (2)

The first incarnation of the Chamber was not without its glaring botches. For one, Triple H had his throat sandwiched by an errant RVD dive, and could barely speak afterward. In another case, the production crew messed up the order of entrants, so Kane entered one spot early, throwing things into disarray. Otherwise, the match was fueled by a hot MSG crowd, and a great story.

It was Michaels’ second match back and, despite his turd-brown tights and Peter Stormare-hairstyle, the crowd was aching for a great comeback story. Michaels eliminated Jericho to bring it down to he and his old DX buddy, who’d brutalized him over the summer. Michaels won his final World Title with Sweet Chin Music, while the Garden, and Jim Ross, rejoiced loudly.

4. WWE Championship: CM Punk (c) vs. Chris Jericho vs. The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. R-Truth (2/19/12, Elimination Chamber)
WINNER: Punk
MOST ELIMINATIONS: Punk, Jericho (2)

Jericho was unable to fulfill his “end of the world” proclamation at the Royal Rumble, being Brogue Kicked off the apron by Sheamus to send “The Great White” to WrestleMania. But fans felt that Jericho’s consolation prize would be to unseat Punk inside the Chamber, to pay off his highly unusual behavior since his return. Unfortunately, that wouldn’t happen either.

Jericho was a house of fire inside the Chamber, eliminating Ziggler and Kingston (the latter with a retro-fantastic Lion Tamer). But Jericho chose to remove Kofi from the Chamber himself as a grandstanding gesture. During this sequence, Punk roundhouse kicked him out of the door, and a wounded Jericho couldn’t continue. Punk then took Miz out with the GTS to win.

The Hallmark of Hellishness

3. World Heavyweight Championship: Edge (c) vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Big Show vs. Kane vs. Wade Barrett vs. Drew McIntyre (2/20/11, Elimination Chamber)
WINNER: Edge
MOST ELIMINATIONS: Edge, Kane (2)

It doesn’t necessarily look like the lineup of a classic cage match, given the occasional lethargy of the 2 big men, and how McIntyre’s fallen down the card. While Edge and Mysterio put together the best finishing sequence in the match’s history, the rest of the match was pretty solid in its own right, with McIntyre shining in particular, baring a rarely-seen aggressive side.

The early eliminations were all rapid-fire, concluding with Rey and Edge doubling up to take out Kane. Once alone, the two traded near-falls for close to 10 minutes before Edge speared his former partner-turned-rival to retain. As a bonus, Christian made his return after the match saving his brother (not “friend”) from an assault by number one contender Alberto Del Rio.

2. #1 Contender’s Match: Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Chris Jericho vs. Umaga vs. JBL (2/17/08, No Way Out)
WINNER: Triple H
MOST ELIMINATIONS: Jericho, Triple H (2)

This match may have meant a bit more if Hardy hadn’t been forced to the sideline weeks later after a drug failure. As it was, JBL and Umaga were eliminated early (with Umaga putting up a classic monster-heel performance prior to being pinned), and the match then centered on four well-regarded babyfaces. Well, three, as Jericho was eliminated seconds later.

Proving that the Chamber is every man for himself, Triple H eliminated Michaels, after Hardy had stuck Shawn with the Twist of Fate. After that, Hardy hung in there, surviving one Pedigree, and nearly struck with a Twist on Helmsley, but would fall victim to a second one onto a chair (JBL had brought chairs into the cage after his elimination) to give HHH the shot.

1. For the Vacant World Heavyweight Championship/Guest Referee: Shawn Michaels: Triple H vs. Randy Orton vs. Batista vs. Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho vs. Edge (1/9/05, New Year’s Revolution)
WINNER: Triple H
MOST ELIMINATIONS: Batista (2)

It was a lousy show before this match, but it’s not hard to see why: the entire main event tier was tied up with this one. Triple H dropped the title after a controversial finish in a triple threat match with Benoit and Edge, and had to go through Hell to get it back. His main henchman Batista, on the verge of a crowd-demanded face turn, was also at odds with him.

After Batista dispatched of Benoit and Jericho with assertive ease, “The Animal” worked with his boss to try and rid their former ally, Orton. But Orton dropped Batista with an RKO to eliminate him. Triple H, cunning as he is, didn’t make the save when he easily could have. Instead, an unknowing Batista took Orton out, and made it easy for Triple H to reign once more.

Justin Henry is a freelance writer who splits time between this site, WrestleCrap.com, and FootballNation.com. He can be found via his wrestling Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/wrestlecrapjrh)

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Flashback: WWE Royal Rumble 2008 – Cena Returns!

January 21, 2014 By: Category: WWE | Pro Wrestling

One week prior to the WWE Royal Rumble, he does an interview saying he won’t be at WrestleMania 24 then the next week he is winning the World Wrestling Entertainment Royal Rumble and scheduled to headline WrestleMania 24. Nobody expected John Cena to return to the WWE this soon, win the Royal Rumble, and go on to headline WrestleMania 24 and win a title shot of his choice.

In October 2007 when John Cena relinquished the WWE title due to injury, we were told he wouldn’t be back for seven months. During his time away, Cena had been out of the spotlight and was barely even mentioned on WWE programming. John Cena surprised everyone when he entered the Royal Rumble at number 30 and threw out Triple H to win the Rumble and immediately challenge Randy Orton for the same belt he never lost at WrestleMania 24.

The WWE Royal Rumble event itself was good, but nothing exceptional until Cena showed up. Like many, I felt deflated when Randy Orton beat Jeff Hardy and put an end to the Hardy-express. Obviously the result made a whole lot of sense with the way the Rumble match turned out. Not knowing about what was ahead, it just seemed like the show had lost its momentum and was on cruise control for awhile. I don’t mean to take anything away from the other matches which were all good, including JBL and Jericho who had a blood bath. However, I had a feeling that something different was up when the WWE Royal Rumble 2007′s final two started off the Rumble at one and two.

Shawn Michaels and the Undertaker picked up right where they left off at the 2007 Royal Rumble. It was a great way to start the Rumble since nobody watching the show expected either one of them to start the match. HBK would wind up eliminating Undertaker and extracting revenge for last year’s Rumble. I would normally assume that this means that the WWE picked up on what I have been screaming about since last year’s Rumble and put these two together at WrestleMania 24. However, that match didn’t come for another year.

The runaway fan favorite going into the Royal Rumble was (and usually is) Triple H. It wasn’t so much Triple H, but there was nobody else that seemed to be an obvious or close second choice. Not only was John Cena a shock to the crowd at 30, he wasn’t the only surprise entrant in the Royal Rumble.

Fresh off his stint signing autographs at a barber shop in New Jersey, WWE Hall of Fame wrestler Superfly Jimmy Snuka returned home to Madison Square Garden and tried his luck in the Rumble. The surprises continued, as fellow WWE Hall of Fame inductee Roddy Piper made a shocking return to the Rumble as well. It was quite a moment when the two men that sold out the Garden over twenty years ago were going toe to toe once again. I love when the WWE brings back a surprise legend or two for the Rumble and so did the crowd. Bringing back the hottest feud of my childhood if not for just two minutes was pure old school wrestling heaven.

I talked a lot about fan passion at the time on my radio show and in blogs yet the fan reaction to John Cena at the Rumble is something that people  still talk about today. The entrance itself is arguably the greatest Rumble entrance in the history of the match. The place went nuts in a way that rivaled Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Rock in their heyday. It was truly a historic WWE moment that helped solidify Cena’s WWE status as a WWE superstar.

The final four in the Rumble came down to Kane, Batista, Triple H, and Cena. Triple H and Batista united to throw Kane over the top rope. Triple H subsequently wound up eliminating Batista, which looked like would set up a WrestleMania 24 match between the two. It then came down to Triple H and Cena. After several minutes of failed attempts at elimination by both men, John Cena FU’d Triple H over the top rope to win the Rumble and go on to WrestleMania 24 and challenge for a WWE title of his choice.

At the time, the WrestleMania 24 24 lineup looked like this:
John Cena vs. Randy Orton for the WWE Championship
Edge vs. … for the WWE World Championship
Triple H vs. Batista
JBL vs. Chris Jericho
Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

As we know now, none of those matches took place at WM 24 except Orton-Cena with Triple H thrown in the mix for a Triple Threat Match.

Other 2008 Royal Rumble results saw….
Ric Flair defeated MVP in a non-title match
JBL defeated Chris Jericho via DQ
Edge defeated Rey Mysterio to retain the WWE World Championship
Randy Orton defeated Jeff Hardy to retain the WWE Championship

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Five Memorable Pro Wrestling Moments

January 10, 2014 By: Category: WWE | Pro Wrestling

On January 7th, 2014, I marked my fourteenth year of being a wrestling fan. A lot of you are probably thinking to yourselves “What is a girl like Meagan still being a wrestling fan all this time. She is a nice girl and doesn’t look the type of be a wrestling fan at all”.

Well even though I’m a nice girl that likes wrestling as well as having the music likes ranging from Rob Zombie, Deftones, Red, Slayer, Metallica, Disturbed, Hatebreed, Five Finger Death Punch, Breaking Benjamin and so forth with rock bands, I’ve been a wrestling fan for all this time. You see, I’m not the type of girl that goes drooling over the hot guys in the ring even though some of them are attractive. It doesn’t make me a fan. If you have the ability and can wrestle, I will cheer or you, but if you’re going to shove them down my throat and so forth, I will not cheer for them. That’s my personality.

But enough with my ranting about here. I’m here to talk about the five moments of my time watching wrestling that stood out to me the most. Some of them might be recent, some of them might be in the past and I need to get out of my comfort zone about talking about Women’s Wrestling as well because I cannot feature them all the time. Now, I present all of the readers at Camel Clutch Blog, the 5 moments of Meagan being a Wrestling Fan. Here we go.

Kane’s unmasking after he lost the World Heavyweight Championship against Triple H (2003): As a young kid, Kane used to scare the living nightmare out of me when he would speak with that electronic near his throat (which today, still scares me when someone else uses it). When I would watch Kane videos when he first started talking, I would mute the volume because it scares me, but when he dropped that and said “Suck It” without that thing, I would warm up eventually, but he would still scare me when he would talk, but I had to realize that it was a mask. When Kane had the open mask, I opened up and was not scared any longer because the mask was opened by the mouth, however, it was his unmasking that would make me fear of him once again. It was June 23rd, 2003 and I was watching this match. Back then, I was anti Triple H because I didn’t like him at all and always wanted him to lose that title. I was cheering for Kane hardcore and wanted him to keep the mask. However, when he lost the match and had to unmask after being hesitant of doing it, I had to shut the TV off because I was scared out of my mind and thinking “I have to see this to believe it”. I was a second late after he unmasked and choked slammed RVD right after. I was frozen and standing in shock looking at this, but realized in the end, Kane was not “burned”, but had of reign of terror the remainder of the year that I would never forget.

Shane McMahon nearly kills Kane (October 6th, 2003): Another moment from 2003 and yes, this was on my thirteenth birthday and I was celebrating it. As the day was winding down because I had school next day and it was the day after my birthday, I remember sitting down on the floor of my living room and getting ready to watch Raw. Kane was the first person out to start the show and he faced off against Rosey in a match. Right before he was about to do his pyro, Shane McMahon’s theme song kicks in as Shane came out of nowhere and attacked him from behind. Shane would run away and Kane going on a rampage of him looking for Shane McMahon. Kane found Shane and chase after him again as Shane did go in the limo. I just remembered Kane smashing the windows and Shane popping out of the found and letting go as the limo FLEW and hit that truck. For a second, I REALLY thought Kane was dead as that was a really scary moment. I also thought we would’ve lost the screen because the impact of the limo was insane. I also remember seeing Stone Cold having some worry as well. I’ll admit, that was scary, but I cannot say that was a nice birthday present for me.

Trish Stratus and Jeff Hardy’s “On Screen Relationship” (July 9th to July 24th 2001, March 17th, 2003 to April 7th, 2003): Even though I was a little disappointed in this storyline, this makes my list of moments. Of course, I’m a sucker for love and of course, I love to seeing some pairings on TV that are awesome in wrestling as well. This “on screen relationship” stood out for me the most even though I didn’t root for Trish Stratus in 2001. I remember Jeff Hardy having a match with Big Show and Jeff was getting his butt kicked the entire match. Trish would come down and check on Jeff right after and lay the biggest kiss on him, ever which would lead a question from Lita on the Smackdown right after as the both of them faced off to settle there differences. Lita would win the match and it would lead Torrie Wilson kissing up on Jeff Hardy right after to make Stratus, jealous of her. On the RAW right after Invasion, Torrie Wilson would show up backstage with Jeff Hardy as she wanted to get some paddle practice on Jeff, but Trish would come up and ask what was going on. I remember Jeff saying “Trish, she’s got a paddle” and Trish saying “paddle this B***h” and smacking her. However, right after that, Jeff and Trish’s on-screen romance would end due to Trish’s injury to her ankle, but when she returned, she was seen in the back during the Survivor Series meeting sitting next to Jeff and talking with him. It was two years later that we would see them be on screen again, but in a different situation.

After Jazz would leave Trish behind and fight for herself and lose the match to Victoria and Stevie Richards, Victoria wanted to end Trish in the ring with a chair, but Jeff Hardy would come out of the back and save Trish from harm’s way. After Stevie was cleared out of the ring along with Victoria, Jeff would help Trish Stratus up and then lay another kiss on her as Trish’s head had green paint on her. The week after, we saw Trish and Jeff team up with Stevie and Victoria, in a winning match. Trish was going to repay him with a kiss right after, but it was interrupted by Jazz. During Wrestlemania in the Triple threat match, I was expecting Jeff Hardy to come out and help Trish, but she would fend off Richards and win the title. The night after, Trish would fend off Victoria and Jeff would win the match against Richards. Right after, both Trish and Jeff got snugly in the ring, leading me to think to this day “If Trish had to help Jeff here, then why wasn’t he at Mania helping her?” The last week and the final time these two would be on the air was the iconic Rock, Trish and Jeff segment with the Rock Flirting with Trish and her denying him as Jeff was right behind him as well and then with the Rock challenging for a match. The both of them would finally kiss in the backstage area as Trish stood in the back. Since that match, the relationship ended as I was expecting twice to Jeff to help her out from being attacked, but Hardy was released right after the April 21st episode of RAW and the relationship would end there. I wanted one last run in 2006 when he came back, but it was Carlito that had Trish for her final On screen pairing.

Triple H’s Return to WWE (January 7th, 2002): Since yesterday was the anniversary of this return, I remember it like it was yesterday. A couple of months prior, Triple H tore his right quad in a match as that was considered to be his near career match with that serious injury. With Triple H being told he could never wrestle again, he got that surgery, went through hell during rehab. This made you wonder if he was going to be the heel or make that face turn. That was a big question I had going into 2002, but as soon as Triple H’s theme song would hit and considering that it was in Madison Square Garden out of all places, the roof shook and Triple H was turned face that night. It was a moment that I never would forget and everytime I watch that, I still get chills with the cheers. That had to be the greatest return in my opinion and it was very emotional as well.

Eddie Guerrero wins WWE Championship against Brock Lesnar; Eddie Guerrero’s Passing (February 14th, 2004; November 13th, 2005): I have to split these into two parts. The both of them I remember very well as I do go back and watch them along with crying my eyes out as well.

Starting with Eddie Guerreros’s Championship win at No Way Out. Right after Eddie Guerrero won a shot to get a shot at the title, I remember watching the Smackdowns right after and seeing all this hype about this. I really wanted Eddie to win the title, but I couldn’t just see it happening against Lesnar. While watching this, I saw Eddie cutting the most upsetting promo ever with him admitting he was an addict, a promo that still upsets me this day when I watch it, but I knew for a fact that Eddie wanted to win this title A LOT. No Way Out was coming up and I was getting ready for this show. I didn’t care about all of the matches and the only one I wanted to see was this match and ONLY this match. While watching this match, I was seeing that they were going back and forth and hearing the commentary during the match. I was biting my nail the whole entire time and looking at this as match while biting my nail as well. I really thought Brock would be done after Goldberg speared him, but it wasn’t the end. I was shocked and really thought Eddie was done when he was F-5′d, but he was dropped on the belt. Hearing Michael Cole’s voice and the emotion that he had in his voice, I watched until I saw Eddie pin him and get the three. When he got that final pin fall, I was so happy and screaming for his big title win over Lesnar that I lost my voice the next day. It was a moment that I would never forget.

However, I have to go to the sad part and that was the following year in 2005, and at the time, I didn’t have a smart phone that had net access like I do now in my iPhone. So back then, I was using my mom’s phone that had Yahoo Instant Messenger, which was cool to use at the time and I was walking to Kmart to see if a video game that I wanted to get was in stock. I logged on and talked with my friend about how his weekend was and he asked me “Have I heard what happend to Eddie Guerrero?”. I said no because at the time, I was not allowed to use a computer with my stepdad being home. As soon as I returned from Kmart, I asked my mom if I can use a computer to see something, my mom said what for and I explained to her that my friend told me that Eddie Guerrero passed away. The both of them were a little hesitant, but agreed as my mom went down. We looked on WWE.com on the downstairs computer as we just stood there, frozen with tears in our eyes. My mom went to use our gateway while I was on the Dell and from the time I was on to the time I got off to head to bed, I watched and watched Eddie moments. I was sad and in mourning at the same time.

The next day, I wasn’t feeling well and stood home from school. I had to wait until my stepdad was on the use the computer and from the time he left, I watched Eddie moments until Monday Night Raw came on. I just remember watching on the TV and the emotion that everyone had. The one moment that stood out to me the most was the young kid crying as his father held him as he wept. A moment that is still in my head to this day.

So those are the moments that stood out to me during my time of being a wrestling fan. I have some more, but when the big fifteen comes around, I will give all of the moments for the CCB.

Thanks for reading.

Follow Meagan at Twitter: @MeaganG1990
Personal Blog: meagansworld.wordpress
WOW Candy Central Visuals: www.wowcandycentral.com

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Top 10 Best WWE Comebacks In History

January 08, 2014 By: Category: lists, WWE | Pro Wrestling

Nobody loves a great comeback more than the WWE Universe. Some of the greatest superstars have left the WWE for over a year and returned for a successful career rebirth. Here is a look back at the 10 greatest comebacks in WWE history.

With Batista gearing up for a big comeback I thought it would be fun to take a look back at some of the all-time greats. Let’s talk about the criteria. I kept the list strictly to WWE stars that left for a minimum of one year for whatever reason. Guys like Eddie Guerrero and Triple H who great comebacks are unfortunately left off of the list because their WWE vacations lasted under a year. So before you start ripping the list for missing this guy and that guy please keep in mind the time frame.

The guys that made this list are guys that either had just as or an even more successful run when they returned. A guy like Brock Lesnar for example wouldn’t make the list. While his return has been fun he hasn’t won a whole lot of matches during his return. A guy that returned and won a world championship but may not have been as exciting as Brock would have a better chance of making the list.

Now that the criteria is out of the way let’s go back in time and take a look at the 10 best (in my opinion) comebacks in WWE history. Did I get it wrong? Did I miss one? Leave a comment and let me know.

Bruno Sammartino (1963) - He was blackballed by the boss yet wound up returning to become arguably the most successful wrestler in WWE history. Bruno Sammartino left the WWWF after a disagreement with Vince McMahon SR. with limited opportunities. Bruno and Vince patched things up clearing the way for his return in 1963. Sammartino immediately won the championship from Buddy Rogers and became a pop culture icon of the times. A seven year run as the most dominant champion in WWE history lands my friend at the top of my list.

Hulk Hogan (1983) - Hulk Hogan left the WWWF after headlining shows against Andre the Giant and WWWF champion Bob Backlund in 1980. Hogan returned in 1983 to begin the most successful run of a champion since Bruno Sammartino and maybe the most successful run of all-time. Hogan became an instant celebrity, remaining the most recognizable professional wrestler in history. Like Bruno, Hogan’s run boosted business and ushered in a brand new era of the WWE. Like him or not it is hard to argue with the history created during this comeback.

Chris Jericho (2007) - He may not have had the historical impact of Bruno or the Hulkster but Chris Jericho’s run form 2007-2009 saw him cement his place in WWE history. The peak of the run featured one of the greatest feuds in WWE history between Jericho and Shawn Michaels. Jericho also captured the WWE world heavyweight title during this run and produced a Hall of Fame caliber list of fantastic matches. It started off rocky with a forgettable feud against Randy Orton but rebounded a few months later with one of the best comeback runs in history.

Shawn Michaels (2002) - Michaels comeback from 2002-2011 is probably the greatest of any WWE wrestler in regards to the qualify of matches he put out during that run. Rarely does anyone ever that good come back after such a lengthy run and actually improve inside of the ring. His run wasn’t as decorated as some of the greats on this list as he only had one brief run with the WWE championship. Yet I can’t think of anyone that came in and left without missing a step better than the Heartbreak Kid.

Sgt. Slaughter (1990) - The Sarge broke the hearts of American children everywhere when he returned to the WWE at the heigh of the Gulf War and aligned with the evil Saddam Hussein of Iraq. Slaughter achieved something he could never do during his two previous tours of WWE duty and that was win the WWE championship. Slaughter ended the reign of The Ultimate Warrior and went on to headline WrestleMania 7 against Hulk Hogan. While I’d never condone evil, it sure paid off for the WWE Hall of Fame wrestler during this run.

Ted DiBiase (1987) - The comeback of Ted DiBiase (Sr.) is often forgotten when these kinds of WWE returns are discussed. Long before he was an arrogant millionaire, DiBiase held the WWWF North American championship and was a slightly above average mid-card guy. DiBiase went on to achieve much more when he returned in 1987 as the Million Dollar Man. DiBiase became an icon during this run and is remembered as one of the greatest heel characters in company history. DiBiase held the WWE championship briefly after he purchased it from Andre the Giant only to have it stripped by Jack Tunney. There aren’t many others that a better comeback than this guy in WWE history.

Jeff Hardy (2006) - Jeff Hardy had a nice vacation in TNA for a couple of years after several run-ins with the WWE Wellness Policy. Hardy returned in 2006 and went from a mid-card wrestler to one of the most popular wrestlers of the era over the next year. Hardy headlined several events and even won the WWE world heavyweight championship during this run. I don’t think there has been any babyface that elevated himself the way Hardy did during this run since, although Daniel Bryan may give him a run for his money. It’s easy to forget about Jeff Hardy here but his comeback run deserves recognition as one of the best in company history.

The Rock (2011) - The three year journey for Dwayne Johnson began with some of the most memorable promos of his career during the push to WrestleMania 27. Johnson headlined WrestleMania twice (three times if you want to be cynical), pinned John Cena, drew the biggest buyrate in Mania history, and won the WWE championship ending the 400+ day reign of CM Punk. Not too shabby for a guy from Hollywood.

Jesse Ventura (1984) - This may be a controversial choice because his biggest success didn’t necessarily take place inside the ring with a WWE championship yet nonetheless this was a great comeback. However, Jesse’s return in 1984 ended with him earning legendary status as one of the greatest color commentators of all time. Ventura moved out of the ring before a scheduled big run with Hulk Hogan and migrated to the announce booth forming memorable teams with Gorilla Monsoon and Vince McMahon. This was quite a leap from putting over Bob Backlund a few years earlier if you ask me.

Hulk Hogan (2002) - I wrestled (no pun intended) with putting Hogan on the list twice but after careful consideration he earned it. Hogan returned to the WWE in 2002 and held his own with the young lions of the time like Triple H, Steve Austin, The Rock, Kurt Angle, and Chris Jericho. Hogan not only put in arguably his best WrestleMania performance of his career against The Rock, he also won the undisputed WWE championship. I couldn’t think of anyone else whose comeback surpassed the achievements here which is why he makes the list twice.

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