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AJ Styles Says TNA Wrestling Is Horribly Mismanaged

April 23, 2014 By: Category: WWE | Pro Wrestling

AJ Styles is a guy who rarely has a bad word to say about anyone or anything. Yet even the man who was at one time the face of his former employer TNA Wrestling couldn’t help but speak the truth about his former employer in a recent interview.

AJ Styles was one of the first guys signed to TNA Wrestling. Styles was pushed from day one and was truly the one homegrown talent that could company could brag about. Sure Styles wrestled before TNA, even a brief run in WCW, but it was TNA that gave Styles the platform. That is why it was such a surprise that Styles and TNA parted ways earlier this year, ending a 12-year relationship.

Styles did some media recently promoting Ring of Honor and was naturally asked by the Baltimore Sun about TNA Wrestling. While Styles didn’t go out of his way to bash the company, he also wasn’t willing to shy away from the obvious. Styles has no problem offering candid commentary on TNA’s current management.

You know, I really don’t know. I know they’ve made a lot of cuts. That must mean they’re not doing so well. Sting gone, Hogan gone, myself gone, and I’m sure we’re going to see more cuts soon. From what I’ve heard and been told, it’s been horribly mismanaged as a company. I don’t know if they’re going out of business . But they’re definitely doing things that make people think they’re going out of business. And I hope they don’t. I hope TNA doesn’t go out of business because I have a lot of good friends that work there and deserve to be in the national spotlight. My hope is that they never go out of business.

“Horribly mismanaged” is probably the worst thing you’ll ever hear Styles say about the company. How could he say anything different? He’s right and it still amazes me that this company is in business today. Who knows what will happen in the future as their deal with Viacom is up and Spike TV has yet to renew according to various reports. At some point something has to give here and at this stage of the game it has turned into a big joke.

Style was also asked about the door being open to return to the company. Styles doesn’t mince words here as while he doesn’t close the door completely, he believes that TNA may have moved on.

“I tried to leave the door open. I haven’t buried the company. Like I said, I have friends there who do well, so I’m not going to do that. But I don’t know if I’ll ever go back, and it’s definitely not going to be any time soon. And from what one of their higher ups said, it will be “Only if there’s space available for AJ Styles.” So I guess there might not be room for me, according to him.”

How is that for loyalty? Styles goes on to talk about how he always expected to retire from the company and still seems surprised he is not with TNA. The good news is that he is busy on the independents with some guessing that he will pull in more money at the end of the year on the independents than he would have made if he stayed with TNA.

Sounds like a guy who knows a thing or two about managing a company.

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TNA Impact Wrestling Results & April 17 Recap

April 21, 2014 By: Category: WWE | Pro Wrestling

TNA Impact Wrestling opens with Eric Young standing in the ring. He says he won the belt for himself, but he will be a champion for the fans. This is his way of paying the fans back. 10 years of unsolicited support for him, and this is payback. The time of paper champions is over. Things will change around here. We’re going to do things our way. He will defend the belt any way the fans see fit. This will be a party. The Impact Zone will…

Dixie Carter comes out, because of course she does. She calls last week an emotional week. 12 hard-fought years, and look at him now. We know there’s only one person responsible for this, and that person is herself. She’s always seen the potential in him. 8 years ago, he was almost fired, and she allowed him to stay. Also, this “thing” on his chin, she invented “The Beard”. She made this fashionably cool to wear on TV long before anyone else, and she should be the one to receive big, fat royalty checks from those that are ripping off her intellectual property. EY says he thought Bully Ray shipped her back to Nashville. MVP is now in charge, and they don’t need her. She says MVP is in charge of wrestling operations, but as champ, EY represents her. For better or worse, he is now the hood ornament for her 2014 Ferrari. He will go wherever she takes TNA, and he will ride along with her. EY says he hopes she has puke bags, because being around her that much will make him sick. She calls him an unemployed lumberjack, then says he is disrespecting her belt and her company with that talk, and he better hold her in high regard. EY says he’ll flush her like every other piece of crap. She says he is more interested in being a court jester, but he’ll honor and obey her. EY begs to differ. He’s his own man. If she’s interested in a paper champion, she’s looking in the wrong place. So, she’s going to stop making fun of everyone, then he’s going to grab the General Lee, run over her and her British paper champion. Dixie continues insulting him, then says he needs to be relevant, as well as high fashion. She will solve that by giving him a makeover later tonight. If he says no, she’s going to start in on his wife. EY gives her one warning…

…But before that can happen, Bully Ray comes down. He apologizes to EY, then asks how many people are sick of hearing her talk. He tells her to shut up, then says he’s here to take out the trash. The bottom line is EY is a role model for every wrestler who has ever been held down by a loser boss like Dixie. She should be proud of EY, a guy who has worked for her for 10 years, working from the bottom all the way to the World title. Dixie points out Ray double-crossing her. Ray agrees that he took the money, then spent it at a strip club. She doesn’t want to piss him off. He reminds her that, last week, he nearly put her through a table. He points out that she knows what happens to people like her when there are tables in the ring. This is EY’s moment, and his time. Ray then sings the “Hey, hey” song and gets the crowd to do it as well as Dixie leaves. As she heads up the ramp, Ray continues rambling. My feed cuts out at this point, so I miss a few things. I can’t imagine it was anything important.

MATCH 1-No Disqualification Match: Velvet Sky (w/Angelina Love) vs. Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne (non-title)
As the BP are waiting for Rayne to come out, she comes out through the crowd and nails Sky from behind. She takes off her belt, then boots Sky in the gut as she taunts Love, who has backed up to the stage. In the ring, Sky mounts Rayne and slams her head into the mat. Rayne gets thrown to the corner for some shoulder thrusts, and Rayne then reverses a corner whip before hitting a clothesline. She throws Sky to opposite corners, and Sky gets pulled to the floor by Love. Rayne grabs them both by the hair and pull them up, but they counter with a double hotshot. Sky grabs a cookie sheet and cracks Rayne across the back twice, then gives her a shot to the head for 2. Rayne gets thrown to the floor, and Love stomps her down before Sky heads out. Outside, Sky kicks Rayne and sends her back-first into the ring steps. Back in the ring, Sky gets 2, then kicks Rayne int he back. Love hands her a trashcan. She misses a shot in the corner and puts on the breaks, but turns around to Rayne, who kicks the can into Sky’s face. Rayne grabs the can and hits her across the back not once, not twice, but thrice. Sky gets up and runs face-first into the can. Rayne tosses it to the outside and signals for the spear, but Love cracks her across the back from the apron with a kendo stick. Rayne recovers and low-bridges Love to the floor. Sky grabs the stick, misses a shot, and gets hit with a horrible spear for 3.

WINNER: Madison Rayne. I think the spear is now officially the most overrated, overused move in pro wrestling.

We see EY and Bully Ray in the back. EY thanks him for what he said. Ray said he meant every word. He’d love to stay here and chat, but he’s got more of Dixie’s money to spend, so he’s headed back to Rick’s. As he leaves, Abyss approaches EY and challenges him to a match for the title tonight, based on what he said earlier, blaming EY for everything in the process. He laughs at EY, but EY grabs him by the arm and says he’s got a match, but it will be a Monster’s Ball. Abyss calls him crazy, and he agrees before walking off.

Rockstar Spud is looking for EC3. He finds him, and EC3 asks if Spud is scared of Willow Hardy. He understands why Spud is scared, but he shouldn’t be. Spud pushed Hardy off the ladder and put him in the ground for months. EC3 ended Kurt Angle’s career, and tonight, Spud will end Hardy’s career, because he’s a lion.

MVP comes out and says last week was an amazing night. We saw a man devote 10 years to this company, doing everything he was ever asked, who climbed his way to the top, and is now the World Champion. He applauds EY, then says Samoa Joe was lost in the shuffle. He was upset that Joe called in last week and said he wasn’t available. He and MVP go way back, but Joe hasn’t returned any of his calls. Word is Joe is disgruntled, and MVP wants to talk to him face-to-face.

Instead of Joe, we get Austin Aries. He calls himself the most disgruntled man who ever lived. MVP hasn’t been talking about him, to him, or thinking about him. It seems MVP has forgotten him. Since Lockdown, he’s been on the sidelines. He lists off MVP’s principles, then says he never needed motivation, but sitting at home six weeks lit a fire under his ass. For validation, MVP is ignoring his contribution, since he wasn’t in the gauntlet last week. As for participate, he wants MVP to participate in answers. MVP reminds him that he screwed MVP over. Aries says MVP offered him a bunch of promises, but he’s being punished because his feelings are hurt. MVP is screwing with his career. MVP says this is about the fans and no one else, and since Aries doesn’t need the principles, he’s ready to fight Aries now. Aries likes that idea, then says it’ll happen next week. He didn’t get this far being stupid. He’s not going to throw fists with a convicted felon. But next week, he’ll out-wrestle MVP and show him why he’s the greatest man that ever lived.

We get a video package for EY that is such a blatant Daniel Bryan ripoff that I’m about ready to throw up.

MATCH 2-World Tag Team Championship: The Wolves (Eddie Edwards and Davey Richards) vs. The Bromans (Jesse and Robbie E, w/DJ Z; Champions)
The Wolves dropkick the champs off the apron as they try to enter the ring. The bell rings, and the Wolves do their drop toehold/dropkick combo on E for 2 by Edwards. Richards tags in, and he hits an inverted atomic drop into a jackknife for 2. Jesse breaks up the pin with a stomp, then knocks Edwards off the apron. The champs go for a double suplex, but Edwards pulls Richards to safety, and the Wolves low-bridge the champs to the floor before hitting a pair of suicide dives. Edwards rolls E back into the ring as Richards goes up top, but Jesse crotches him. E takes advantage with some mounted punches after Richards falls to the mat, then gets a pair of 2-counts. Richards gets sent to the corner, where E hits a shoulder thrust. Jesse tags in, and they hit the Double Boom on the apron. Jesse applies a rear chinlock, but Richards fights out. He knocks E off the apron, but then gets Warrior Slammed as E tags in, hitting a middle rope elbow for 2. Jesse back in, and he nails Richards in the gut before sending him chest-first into the buckles. Jesse hits an elbow to the shoulder, then tags in E. Richards ducks a double clothesline before causing E to nail Jesse. He hits a victory roll, then pops right up to tag in Edwards. Edwards hits a double hurricanrana after a flurry of clotheslines, then begins chopping Jesse in the corner. E charges in, but gets sent into Jesse, then receives a series of chops as well. E gets whipped across the ring, and Edwards nails him with a running back elbow. Jesse blocks the same move, but then gets hit with an assisted Alarm Clock. Edwards nails a double stomp off the top to the back, and Richards follows up with one to the chest. Edwards goes for the pin, but Z nails him across the back with his laptop, leading to the DQ.

WINNERS VIA DISQUALIFICATION: The Wolves, with the Bromans retaining the titles.

It’s time for a dumbass, pointless Willow promo.

MATCH 3-2-on-1 Handicap Match: Ethan Carter III and Rockstar Spud vs. Willow
TNA is now selling Willow umbrellas. I wish I was making that up. Willow boots EC3, then chases Spud out of the ring. He hits EC3 with a headbutt, but EC3 whips him back down off a Spud distraction. Willow no-sells a couple of throws into the buckles, then nails a clothesline off the ropes. He hits an inverted atomic drop, a double legdrop, a low seated dropkick, an elbow and a running splash for 2. EC3 shoves him off a Twist of Fate attempt, and Willow climbs the ropes for a Botch in the Wind. Spud knocks him down from the apron, which allows EC3 to hit a suplex for 2. Spud tags in and hits a right before Willow trips him. EC3 tags in and hits a jumping elbow to the back. EC3 hits a bodyslam, then taunts the crowd. He applies a modified camel clutch, which Hardy is able to escape with gut shots. Willow hits a jackknife for 2, and a corner sunset flip gets 2 as Spud breaks up the pin. EC3 hits a dropkick and a flipping neckbreaker for 2. Spud tags in, and EC3 holds Willow up for some slaps by Spud. Willow kicks him, then hits EC3 with a sit-out jawbreaker and a reverse enziguri. Spud gets the Twist of Fate and Willow pins him for 3.

WINNER: Willow. EC3 attacks Willow after the match with punches, then begins working on his left leg. He signals for the spinning toehold, but Kurt Angle runs down before he can apply it. The two stand face-to-face until EC3 tries for a clothesline. Angle ducks it and nails him with a release German suplex.

After some commercials, Angle is still in the ring. He says EC3 looks like he saw a ghost. But Angle is no ghost; he’s the greatest wrestler alive, and he’s back. EC3 thought he ended Angle’s career. He’s a TNA Hall of Famer, and his career will end when he says it does. He reminds everyone of his “broken” neck medal win, then says EC3 might have injured him, but he didn’t end him. So, very soon, EC3 will be in the ring with him. And it’ll be just the two of them. EC3 will realize why they call him “The Cyborg”. He’s a devastation machine who can break every limb on EC3. He’s not going to do that right away. He’ll take his time. EC3 will tap out in his head before his body does. This fight will not end until they take EC3 out of the ring in a body bag.

AI is back with Bobby Roode, asking what’s going on with him and Bully Ray. He reminds us what happened at Lockdown, then says he’s taken the tables for his own. At Sacrifice, he’ll put Ray through another table. Tonight, he’s challenging anyone else on the roster to a Tables Match. Anyone who is dumb enough to accept will be going through a table.

We get a video for Sanada, talking about his training, as well as the pressure the Great Muta has put on him to succeed in TNA.

Kenny King comes out and says he knows everyone missed. “The King of the Night” is here, and he’s not going anywhere. He knows everyone is disappointed. Everyone has asked where he’s been, and last week, he came home. It’s a very different place, though, as MVP is the new sheriff in town. He’s out to talk business sense. If you had a player like Derek Jeter, would you put him in the dugout? Would Payton Manning be on the bench? No. The LaBron James of wrestling has been on the bench, and that’s not happening again. Tonight, he’s commentating this next match, and whoever wins will lay down the X-Division title at his feet.

MATCH 4-Match 2 in a Best-of-3 Series: Tigre Uno vs. World X-Division Champion Sanada (non-title)
As I said, Kenny King is on commentary. Uno and Sanada lock up, and Sanada backs Uno into the ropes before giving a clean break. They lock up again, and Uno reciprocates. One more lock up, and Sanada applies an arm wringer. Uno counters into a hip toss, then runs into an armdrag. Both try for a dropkick, and now we get an indy standoff. Sanada tries for a test of strength. Uno flips over him, the two crisscross, and Sanada puts Uno down with a dropkick. Uno avoids a charge in the corner, trips Sanada, then misses a split-legged moonsault. Sanada hits a springboard overhand chop for 2. He goes for the tiger suplex, but Uno counters into a hurricanrana for 2. Uno charges in, and Sanada catches him with a TKO for 2. He goes up for the moonsault, but Uno rolls out of the way. Sanada lands on his feet, and Uno nails him with a boot before hitting a vicious high-cradle suplex. Uno goes up top and hits the Saber-tooth Splash for 3.

WINNER: Tigre Uno, who has tied the score at 1-1. This match was better than the first, in my opinion. Nice sequence at the end, too.

Bully Ray is talking to someone off-camera, telling him he’s the best person for the job. He says to make sure Bobby Roode goes through the table, then tells him “Hoorah”, so I’m guessing that means Gunner.

Bobby Roode is in the ring, and he tells Ray he hopes a good seat, as well as a pen and paper for notes, because the master of the tables is in the ring. The tables are set, the open challenge is now. Is there a man in the back who is man enough to accept it? As I guessed, Gunner comes out.

MATCH 5-Tables Match: Bobby Roode vs. Gunner
Roode nails Gunner before the bell, then stomps him down in the corner. Gunner comes back with rights, then hits a running back elbow off the ropes. He nails more rights in the corner, then stomps Roode down. Roode comes back with a neckbreaker off a back-body drop attempt, then goes outside to pull a table out from under the ring. He sets it on the apron, and Gunner knees it into Roode’s face. Outside, Gunner hits a running clothesline on the entrance ramp. He brings Roode back to the ring and tries to throw him face-first into a table leaned against the ring post. Roode blocks it, then tries the same thing, which Gunner also blocks. He then reverses an Irish whip, sending Roode shoulder-first into the ring steps. Back in the ring, Gunner shoulders Roode from the apron, then tries to suplex him through a table set up on the floor. Roode blocks it and dropkicks Gunner, who lands back-first on the apron. Roode sets up a table in the corner, then boots Gunner as he comes back in the ring. Gunner no-sells some slams into the top buckle, then throws Roode in before going for a running powerslam through the table. Roode escapes and hits a boot out of the corner before connecting with a middle-rope blockbuster. Roode grabs the table in the corner and sets it up in the ring, then goes for a powerbomb. Gunner counters with a back-body drop, sending Roode to the apron. Roode hotshots him, then gets back in the ring, where he runs into a running knee. Gunner sets the table up next to the ropes before turning around into a spinebuster. Roode looks for the Roode Bomb, but Gunner escapes and goes for Hangar 18. Roode escapes and falls into the corner. Gunner hits a running knee in the corner, then follows up with a slingshot suplex. He drags the table to the middle of the ring, then lays Roode out on the table. He heads up top, but before he can dive, James Storm runs down. Gunner boots him away, but the distraction allows Roode to throw him off the top. Instead of going through the table, however, the leg breaks and one end gets slightly cracked. Roode sets it up as best he can and puts Gunner through it with the Roode Bomb.

WINNER: Bobby Roode. Storm attacks Gunner after the match, nailing him with rights. He looks for the Last Call, but Bully Ray runs down before that can happen.

MATCH 6-Monster’s Ball Match for the World Championship: Abyss vs. Eric Young (Champion)
EY tosses a bunch of weapons in the ring, then nails Abyss with a cookie sheet as the bell rings. He follows up with a trashcan shot, then a series of corner mounted punches. He bites Abyss and goes for a kendo stick. Abyss goozles him, but EY escapes. He hits a few rights before Abyss launches him to the floor. Outside, Abyss nails some rights to the head, then slams EY’s face into the apron. Abyss tosses a few weapons around, rolls EY into the ring and grabs a trashcan. EY baseball slides the can into him, then goes for a suicide dive, where Abyss nails him with the trashcan in mid-air. Commercials.

Back from the break, Abyss and EY are back in the ring, and Abyss nails a kick to the head. Abyss wedges a chair between the top and middle buckles, then nails EY with a right. EY avoids a corner whip, nails a couple of rights and dropkicks Abyss into the corner. Abyss whips him to the opposite corner, and EY nails him with a back elbow. He goes for a running dropkick, but Abyss blocks it and catapults him into the chair, where EY gets stuck for a moment. Outside, Abyss finds a bag of thumbtacks under the ring. Back in the ring, Abyss stomps EY, then dumps the tacks out near one of the corners. He signals for the chokeslam, but EY hits him in the nuts with a cheese grater. He hits a right to the head, Flair-Flips out of the corner, slides back in, ducks a pair of clotheslines and hits a flying forearm. He signals for the piledriver, but Abyss counters with a back-body drop. Abyss heads outside once again and pulls Janice out from under the ring. Back in the ring, EY ducks a shot, and Janice gets stuck in the top buckle. EY kicks Abyss in the nuts, then pries Janice off the buckle. He goes for a shot to the head, but Abyss goozles him and chokeslams him onto the tacks. Abyss goes for the pin, but only gets 2. Abyss rolls to the floor yet again, and this time, he pulls out a barbed wire board. He tosses the board into the ring and looks for another chokeslam. EY bites Abyss’ hand, then dropkicks him back-first onto the board. EY heads up top, nails the flying elbow and gets 3.

WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: Eric Young.

End of show.

Dustin Nichols is a freelance writer, and you can keep track of all of his work on his Facebook page, which can be found at www.facebook.com/DustinNicholsWriter. Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out his mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:

TNA Impact Wrestling Results & April 10 Recap

April 11, 2014 By: Category: WWE | Pro Wrestling

This week’s TNA Impact Wrestling show opens with Dixie Carter stepping out of a limo. She tells AI she has a lot to say, just not right now.

We have a 10-man gauntlet to determine a new #1 contender for the title later tonight. This segues to MVP talking about the World title and recapping last week’s main event. He says that, unfortunately, Samoa Joe will not be one of the 10 in the gauntlet. He informed TNA he’s not available, but he has a replacement. The winner faces Magnus for the title at the Sacrifice PPV on 4/27. The time for talking is done, because the gauntlet starts now.

MATCH 1-10-Man TNA Gauntlet, with the winner becoming the new #1 contender for the World Championship; Participants: James Storm, Gunner, Bobby Roode, Bully Ray, Ethan Carter III, Bobby Lashley, Abyss, World X-Division Champion Sanada, Eric Young and Willow
James Storm is the first participant out. Big surprise, Gunner is entrant #2. They brawl on the entrance ramp, then around ringside. Gunner dominates after slamming Storm’s face into the ring steps twice, then rolls him inside. He continues the attack with rights and a back elbow. More rights, and Gunner tries to throw Storm out. He lands on the apron, hits an apron kick, then comes off the middle with a cross-body. Gunner catches him and hits a fall-away slam. He tries to throw Storm out again, but Storm hangs on by raking Gunner’s eyes. Gunner reverses a corner whip and hits a corner clothesline, knocking Storm to the mat. He stomps Storm down, then tries to eliminate him once more. Storm fights Gunner off, then nails him with an uppercut. He throws Gunner to the corner, but Gunner no-sells it before hitting a back elbow.

Bobby Roode is entrant #3. Gunner nails him with rights, but Roode comes back with punches and chops, followed by a clothesline out of the corner. He and Storm stare each other down, then begin double-teaming Gunner, stomping him on the bottom rope. Gunner gets thrown to the corner, and Storm holds him up for a punch by Roode. They go for a double corner whip, and Storm then whips Roode into Gunner. Storm then hits a clothesline and a snapmare. Roode follows up with a jumping knee. The former Beer Money partners try to eliminate Gunner and get him to the outside, but he lands on the apron. They continue kicking him, but he holds on.

Bully Ray is entrant #4. He goes after both Storm and Roode with rights in adjacent corners. They come back and hit a double suplex. Ray no-sells it and hits a double clothesline. Gunner and Ray hit a pair of corner clotheslines. Roode gets a double corner whip as Storm is slumped in another corner, and Ray sends Gunner into Roode with a clothesline. Ray hits a bodyslam on Roode, then tells Gunner to go up top for the Whassup. Gunner obliges, but Storm stops Ray before he can come down.

EC3 is entrant #5, and he keeps looking over his shoulder as he makes his way down to the ring. He hits the ring and immediately attacks Ray in the corner. Gunner tries to grab him, but EC3 fights him off as well. Ray gets back to his feet and hits a chop on EC3 in the corner. Roode rakes Ray’s eyes, and now he’s double-teaming Ray with EC3 in the corner. Ray no-sells a chop from EC3, then hits one of his own, followed by another. He then hits Storm with one. He misses one on Roode in the corner, and now Roode is beating him down as EC3 attacks Gunner. Storm and EC3 try to eliminate Gunner, but he hangs on as Roode tries to throw Ray out on the opposite side.

Bobby Lashley is #6, and he goes right for EC3, hitting him with a clothesline. Storm receives a bodyslam, and Roode gets a running shoulder in the corner, followed by a suplex. He beals EC3 across the ring, and Ray nails EC3 with a clothesline. He holds EC3 up for a Lashley boot before Lashley nails a second one, followed by a neckbreaker. He tries to throw EC3 out as Ray tries to do the same to Storm. Both men hang on.

Abyss is #7. No eliminations thus far. Abyss nails Ray, then does the same to Gunner. He grabs Lashley by the throat and assaults him in the corner before knocking both Gunner and Storm down. He taunts the crowd, so Ray tries to dump him from behind, with Lashley helping him. Magnus makes his way onto the stage at this point, apparently joining Taz and Tenay on commentary. Commercials.

Back from the break, Sanada has joined the match as #8. Eric Young is out as #9. Still no eliminations. EY immediately goes after Abyss, then throws Sanada into him. He tries to eliminate Abyss, and Ray joins him. Abyss kicks EY away before getting hit with an elbow by Ray. Ey goes after Roode now, but Roode fights off elimination. Ray is trying to dump EC3. EC3 lands on the apron, then nails a low blow.

Willow is out as #10, and we have all the entrants. He goes after pretty much everyone, then focuses on EC3. They trade punches until Willow hits a sit-out Twist of Fate. EC3 backdrops him to the outside, but he lands on his feet on the apron as Rockstar Spud rolls himself down to the ring. As Willow tries to suplex EC3 from the ring, Spud gets out of his chair and pulls Willow to the floor.

Willow is eliminated.

Willow gets to his feet and chases Spud to the back. In the ring, Sanada nails EC3 and Abyss with enziguries before running into an Abyss chokeslam. Abyss then tosses Sanada to the floor.

Sanada is eliminated.

Abyss turns around into a spear by Lashley. EC3 hits a forearm to Lashley’s back, but Lashley no-sells it and hits a bodyslam. Storm hits him with a weak Last Call, and Roode dumps Lashley to the floor from his shoulders.

Bobby Lashley is eliminated.

Roode avoids a Ray boot and charges in. Ray tosses him over the top, Roode lands on the apron, and Ray knocks him to the floor.

Bobby Roode is eliminated.

Roode grabs Ray by the arm and pulls him down as EC3 dumps him from behind.

Bully Ray is eliminated.

EC3 nails an elbow on Gunner and throws him face-first into the buckles. Gunner no-sells it, like always, then tees off on EC3 before hitting a high knee. He goes for Hangar 18, but Storm breaks it by nailing him with a Last Call. Storm then tosses Gunner to the floor.

Gunner is eliminated.

We’re down to Storm, EC3, Abyss and EY. EC3 tells Storm and Abyss that they need to team up to focus on EY. Abyss and Storm take turns nailing rights to the head. EC3 tries, but that’s when EY fights back, taking all three on. EC3 nails him from behind and tries to toss him. EY hangs on and pulls EC3 to the floor with a headscissors.

Ethan Carter III is eliminated.

Storm nails EY with a dropkick, and Abyss hits a big splash. Storm sets EY in the corner and whips Abyss into him. EY blocks it with a back elbow, then hits Storm with a boot and a back suplex. He nails another boot on Abyss, knocking him down. Up top, EY hits a flying elbow. Storm nails him with a backcracker from behind, and EY rolls to the apron. From there, Storm hits a suspended DDT. He signals for the Last Call, but EY ducks and throws Storm over the top. Storm tries to skin the cat, but EY dropkicks him to the floor.

James Storm is eliminated.

From behind, Abyss nails EY with the Shock Treatment as we are down to the final two. Abyss signals for the chokeslam, goozles EY and shoves him to the outside, EY lands on the apron, and Abyss knocks him down. EY hangs on, hits a shoulder from the outside, slides back into the ring and goes for a corner whip. Abyss reverses, EY does a Flair Flop, then comes off the top on the other side with a seated missile dropkick. EY clotheslines Abyss to the floor, the momentum taking him over as well. However, he lands on the apron as Abyss hits the floor.

WINNER AND NEW #1 CONTENDER: Eric Young.

Christy Hemme congratulates EY on his win, and he says he has one thing to say: MVP, your #1 contender has a request. He then calls MVP to come down to the ring. Commercials.

After the break, MVP has not yet come out. He reminds MVP he’s got a request, and once again tells him to come out. MVP finally obliges, applauding EY as he comes out. He stops on the stage and wants to know what’s up. EY compliments him on a job well-done. He says his arm is messed up, but this is live TV, and anything can happen. What we just saw was him become the #1 contender at Sacrifice. But you know what, MVP? He’s feeling crazy tonight. He’s already won once. Everything is going his way, and he’s waited long enough. He’s waited 10 years, and he wants his shot at the title tonight. We see that Magnus likes the idea as MVP is thinking about it. MVP wants to make sure he heard EY correctly. The fans cheer, and MVP says he respects EY’s fighting spirit. He doesn’t remember paying Magnus to commentate, but he does remember paying Magnus to wrestle, so Magnus needs to go to his private dressing room and get suited up for his title match later tonight. Magnus says that’s fine. We all know it’s Magnus’ Rules, and those rules always win out in the end. MVP says we’re going to switch things up tonight. Magnus’ Rules will not be in effect tonight. If Magnus gets counted out or DQ’ed tonight, he’ll lose the title. As for Abyss, he hasn’t forgotten Abyss’ actions in recent weeks, so Abyss is banned from ringside. And, if anyone else should come from the back and interfere in this match, they will be fired on the spot. It will be Magnus one-on-one with EY, no excuses.

We see Spud hiding in Dixie Carter’s office, which is decorated with balloons and streamers. Spud surprises Dixie as she comes in. She says he’s overdoing things, that it’s been less than a month. Spud says she hasn’t returned any of his texts or tweets. She says Spud sold her down the river as soon as he started working for MVP. He says she’s got it all wrong. Dixie ignores him and tells him to clean this mess up. He starts to go after her, but Willow is on the other side of the exit, and he begins throwing Spud all over the room.

MATCH 2-4-Way to determine a new #1 contender for the Knockouts Championship: ODB vs. Brittany vs. Gail Kim vs. Angelina Love (w/Velvet Sky)
Kim and Brittany pair off as Love and ODB do the same. Brittany trips Kim into the middle rope, then assaults her with forearms and kicks. ODB slaps Love on the ass, then boots her to the floor. She turns to Brittany and dares Brittany to hit her. They trade forearms, then hit simultanous clotheslines. Love tosses ODB outside as Kim attacks Brittany in the corner. Love joins her, then throws Kim back before hitting a snapmare on Brittany. Kim hits a low seated dropkick for 2. Love breaks it up and gets her own 2 as Kim does the same. Love shoves her down, and Brittany begins hitting both of them with forearms and headbutts. Kim is sent to the corner, followed by Love. Brittany hits a handspring elbow on Kim, then gets hit with a Love clothesline. Love follows up with a sidewalk slam on Brittany for 2 as ODB breaks up the pin. Kim crashes into Love in the corner, and ODB then whips her into Love. She hits an avalanche on Love, then catches Kim with a fall-away slam. She hits a bronco buster on Love, then drags her to the middle. Kim pulls ODB down by her hair, then gets kicked in the face. Brittany hits a handspring moonsault on ODB before Love hits her with the Lights Out. Kim nails a couple kicks on Love, followed by a clothesline and a backbreaker. She goes for Eat Defeat, but Love blocks it. Kim rolls her up for 2, and as she’s kicked off, Sky sprays her in the face with hairspray. Kim turns around into a Botox Injection by Love, leading to the easy 3.

WINNER AND NEW #1 CONTENDER: Angelina Love.

MVP is on his phone in his office when Dixie enters. He says she has about 10 seconds before he has security drag her out. She reminds him she’s still the president, then calls his “exhibition” with Kenny King last week a joke. She then accuses him of abusing his power, and she’s going to have him fired once she goes to the board of directors. She came here to take care of one wrestler, then asks him to be at ringside when she chews said wrestler up and spits him out in the ring later. She’s going to deal with him now, and MVP is next.

We see the Wolves enter MVP’s office, where’s with Jesse and DJ Z. Apparently, Robbie E is sick this week. MVP says his flight was actually canceled, and he just got confirmation. Jesse says they could have beat the Wolves last week, they could do it this week, and they will definitely do it next week. MVP asks Jesse why he has both of the title belts, since E is not here. Jesse says it’s because he’s the captain of the team, and the captain always carries both belts around. He and Z have a party to go to now, so they’re going to leave. Before that can happen, MVP cuts them off and says he’s getting tired of them taking his kindness for weakness, then lists off all their excuses for not defending the titles recently. He has a solution to this problem: E has until bell time to get here, because there will be a title match. If E doesn’t show up, Z is standing in for him, and the titles will still be on the line.

AI is in the back with Magnus, asking about the title match. He says EY made a tactical error, challenging for the title tonight after winning the gauntlet. That’s fine by Magnus.

Dixie comes out, trying so hard to look like a tough bitch and failing. She says she has unfinished business with Bully Ray. Ray makes his way down to the ring, limping a bit, and it appears his leg is partially taped up. A “We don’t like you” chant breaks out, directed at Dixie as Ray eggs the crowd on. He’s gives her credit. He’s shocked she’s out here because the last time she wanted to talk to him, she didn’t show up. Dixie calls him dumb. He got conned into coming to her office, only for Bobby Roode to take him out. Then, last week, Roode put the “master of the tables” through a table himself. No, actually it was two tables. No wait, it was three tables. And if her memory serves her correctly, he’s never gone through three tables in one night in his career. Ray says she’s right. He can appreciate being conned. She’s also right about the tables. But, Dixie didn’t get the job done. Roode didn’t get the job done, and he’s still standing. She asks why he double-crossed her at Lockdown, costing her control of wrestling operations in TNA, her company. Ray calls her the most selfish woman he’s ever met. This is not her company, nor has it ever been. It’s the fans’ company. This company is for every TNA fan around the world. This company is for every wrestler in the locker room who breaks his back. Dixie cuts him off and says he’s no better than her. Ray says he’s not a spokesperson or an advocate. Whether someone hates or likes him, everyone respects him. No one respects her. She says she built this company with her dollars. Speaking of dollars, she paid Ray to do a job, and he didn’t do it, so she wants her money back. Ray tells her not to trust anyone. It was a lot of money. He bought a car, then spent the rest at Rick’s Cabaret in NYC. Enough of this. He’s sick of her games. Before he can spew his catchphrase, Dixie knocks the mic out of his hand and says it herself. She’s from Dallas, and is still president of this company. She’s in control of every check that comes out of this company, and she’s still his boss. She then slaps him across his face. Ray starts to corner her, but Roode comes from out of nowhere and nails him from behind. He stomps Ray down as Dixie orders him to get a table. Roode pulls one from under the ring and sets it up near the corner. He pulls Ray toward it, but Ray fights back, nails a big boot and goes for a powerbomb. Roode escapes and heads to the floor. Ray looks at Dixie, then looks at the table. The show goes to commercial before anything else can happen.

Magnus comes across Dixie in the back and wants to know what’s going on. She arrived here and didn’t even bother to say hi. She says her visit doesn’t pertain to him. He says he’s the champion, so everything pertains to him. She couldn’t even wish him luck. She says he doesn’t need luck, as he’s got a plan. She’s got one too, and it involves drinking a bunch of wine before going home. He calls her a typical woman. She calls him ungrateful, and that he’s forgotten who brought him to the dance. She remembers him telling EC3 he doesn’t need her anymore, since he has his insurance policy. She then storms off as Magnus says, “#WrathofDixie, my ass.”

MATCH 3-World Tag Team Championship: The Wolves (Eddie Edwards and Davey Richards vs. World Tag Team Co-Champion Jesse and DJ Z (defending for Robbie E)
Jesse and Edwards start the match. Edwards hits a chop. Jesse applies a side headlock. Richards makes a blind tag, and they hit their drop toehold/dropkick combo. Z comes in, and he gets a toehold/elbow combo. Z grabs Richards by the foot off an Irish whip, then hits a hotshot. Jesse capitalizes with a dropkick before tagging in Z. Jesse and Z go for a double suplex, but Edwards comes in, puts a stop to it, and the Wolves low-bridge the champs to the floor before hitting a pair of suicide dives. Back in the ring, Edwards tags in, and the Wolves hit a pair of kicks to the chest. Edwards hits a chop, then gets nailed from the apron by Jesse, allowing Z to hit a flapjack. Jesse tags in, and the champs go for a double back suplex. Edwards flips out and hits a double hurricanrana. Richards makes the hot tag and fires off some kicks on Jesse before hitting a Tidal Crush. Z receives an exploder suplex that sends him to the floor. He nails a running forearm in the corner on Jesse, then comes off the top with a seated missile dropkick for 2. Z tries to break up the pin, but misses and lands on Jesse before getting sent to the floor. Edwards is back in the ring, and he throws Jesse in the air for an Alarm Clock by Richards. Richards goes for the pin, but E shows up out of nowhere and drags referee Brian Hebner to the floor, leading to the DQ.

WINNERS VIA DISQUALIFICATION: The Wolves, however the Bromans keep the titles.

AI is in the back with Christy Hemme. She has some things to say tonight, and they might be shocking. She’s gone through some things with Samuel Shaw, and wants him in the ring later tonight to talk about commitment.

A couple minutes later, Hemme is in the ring, and she asks Shaw to come down to the ring. Shaw comes down, mic in-hand. She says this thing with them is complicated, but she’s had a change of heart. She thinks he’s just misunderstood. Shaw is happy she’s finally seen the light. Don’t worry about what these ordinary cretins say. He’s none of the things they call him; he’s simply the love of her life. She knows that, then asks if he trusts her. She then rubs his face and asks if he’d do anything she’d ask him. He nods yes. She asks if he’d go anywhere she asks, then pulls his glove off with her teeth. She closes his eyes and tells him to feel her as she circles him with her hand on his shoulder. On the big screen, a white van that says “Psychiatric Services” pulls up in the back. Mr. Anderson comes out of the back and heads to the ring as Hemme keeps Shaw distracted. She tells Shaw to turn around, then tells him to open his eyes. He does, and runs right into a Mic Check. Anderson, who has the douchey blonde look again, tells Shaw the commitment Hemme talked about is Shaw’s commitment to the funny farm. He’s going to take a ride. Anderson throws Shaw to the floor, and Shaw begins crawling up the ramp as Hemme eggs him on. Anderson kicks him in the ribs, then drags him to the back and out to the van. Shaw gets thrown in the back, and Anderson tries to lock him in. Shaw fights his way out and runs to the parking lot.

We get a promo from Willow. He challenges Rockstar Spud and EC3 to a handicap match next week. That’s all I’m giving you, because I can’t stand listening to this jackass speak and want to save you the trouble of reading his crap.

MATCH 4-World Championship; All TNA employees are banned from ringside, and the title can change hands on a count-out or DQ: Eric Young vs. Magnus (Champion)
I already know what happens here, as I’m sure most of you do by now. Needless to say, TNA has no original ideas to speak of. Anyway, let’s get on with this. The two go nose-to-nose, and Magnus starts up with the trash-talk. They trade punches until Magnus hits a knee to the gut. He nails a right in the corner, then throws EY to the adjacent corner, then does it again. He nails another right, then sends EY across the ring. EY avoids impact, slides under Magnus’ legs and pops up with a dropkick. Magnus reverses a corner whip, EY does the Flair Flop, slides under Magnus’ legs and goes for a belly-to-belly. Magnus boxes the ears to break it, then nails EY in his bad arm. In the corner, EY blocks a charge and comes back with a right. He goes up top, missing a moonsault. Magnus knocks him to the floor with a horrible running knee, causing EY to land on his bad arm. Magnus heads outside and stomps him down before slamming him face-first into the apron. He rams EY back-first into it, then rolls him in the ring for 2. He applies a reverse bearhug, but EY manages to break free by sending him to the floor. EY goes for a suicide dive, but Magnus meets him outside with a European uppercut in mid-air. EY gets thrown intot he steps, and now Magnus is stomping him down. Commercials.

Back from the break, Magnus is still in control, kicking EY in the back in the ring. He comes off the ropes with a power-drive elbow for 2. A gutwrench suplex gets another 2. EY comes back with some rights before running into a sleeper. EY fights and breaks the hold with a jawbreaker. Off the ropes, Magnus catches him with a back body drop, then goes into a camel clutch. EY counters into an electric chair. How many times can Tenay and Taz say “full-court press” in one broadcast. Do either of them even know what that phrase means? I’m guessing no. Both men are back up, and EY is hitting some rights. They crisscross until EY nails a flying forearm. He hits a clothesline, then goes for a German suplex. Magnus elbows out and goes for a waistlock. EY reverses and hits the Showstopper. He comes off the top with a flying elbow and goes for a pin, only getting 2. Magnus comes back with the misdirection clothesline, turning EY inside-out. He hits the MDD and gets 2. Magnus is frustrated, and he rolls to the floor. He grabs the belt and slides in, looking for a belt shot. Brian Hebner grabs the belt and goes to set it in the corner. Behind his back, Magnus escapes a fireman’s carry from EY and hits him with a low blow. He goes for the pin, but it’s still only good for 2. Magnus comes off the ropes, and EY blocks a clothesline and hits a crucifix for 2. He hits a piledriver off a back body drop attempt and gets 3.

WINNER AND NEW CHAMPION: Eric Young.

End of show.

Don’t get me wrong: EY is a decent performer. I’m not a fan of his gimmick, but he does well with what he’s given, and he’s a solid worker. Having said that, he has not been within sniffing distance of the World title during his entire nearly 12 years with TNA, and is given the title after roughly 2 weeks worth of build as a threat. TNA is trying so hard to make him their version of Daniel Bryan, but the problem is Bryan A) was made into a top-level performer after over a year in WWE, and his recent title win comes after a near 8-month build. There’s no comparison.

Dustin Nichols is a freelance writer, and you can keep track of all of his work on his Facebook page, which can be found at www.facebook.com/DustinNicholsWriter. Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out his mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:

TNA Impact Wrestling Results & April 3 Recap

April 05, 2014 By: Category: WWE | Pro Wrestling

Bobby Roode and EC3 are in the ring. We are going straight into a match for once.

MATCH 1-Tag Team Tables Match: Ethan Carter III and Bobby Roode vs. Bully Ray and Willow
The two teams start brawling as soon as Willow hits the ring. Ray mounts Roode in the corner for some punches as Willow is hitting shoulder thrusts on EC3 in the adjacent corner. The faces hit a Poetry in Motion on Roode, and then one for EC3. Ray hits a bodyslam on EC3 as Willow goes up top for the Whassup. Ray tells Willow to get the tables, and Willow grabs one from outside. EC3 is back in the ring as the faces set the table up, and now Roode is back in as well. He hits a clothesline on Ray, and EC3 nails Willow with a dropkick. The heels go for a double back body drop through the table, but Ray moves it. EC3 nails Ray with a forearm off the ropes, and now the heels set the table up once more. They hit Ray with forearms and boots before going for a double suplex through the table. Willow moves the table, then hits Roode with a reverse enziguri. EC3 drops him with a clothesline, then slams Willow’s face into the mat. Willow laughs and no-sells the slams before hitting a sit-out jawbreaker. He hits a handspring splash in the corner, then a slingshot dropkick. He hits a sit-out Twist of Fate, then a standard version after a stupid dance before going for the table once again. He sets it up near the corner and sets EC3 on it before going up top. Rockstar Spud rolls down to ringside in a wheelchair, and Willow notices him, dropping to the floor, where he dropkicks Spud in the chair before carrying him to the back. Back in the ring, Ray goes up top, but Roode grabs his foot and dumps him over the table. The heels stomp Ray down, but Ray comes back with a pair of low blows. He launches Roode at EC3 from the middle rope, then hits a double clothesline. He nails Roode with the Flip, Flop & Fly, then hits one on EC3 for good measure. The table gets set up near the ropes as Ray looks for a powerbomb. Roode nails Ray from behind and goes for the Roode Bomb. Ray escapes and goes for the Bully Cutter, but Roode shoves him off before hitting a spinebuster through the table.

WINNERS: Ethan Carter III and Bobby Roode.

After the match, Roode and EC3 set up another table, and Roode puts Ray through it with the Roode Bomb. EC3 starts to leave, but Roode stops him and tells him to get another table. EC3 obliges, and they set it up as Ray is trying to get to his feet. EC3 picks him up, and Roode peppers him with rights, knocking him back onto the table. Roode heads up top and splashes Ray through the table. He then screams that Ray is messing with the wrong sonofabitch before asking if Ray knows who Roode is.

Kenny King shows up in the arena on the back of a golf cart, then asks the staffer at the door what he’s on for tonight. The staffer says King isn’t booked for tonight, so King storms into the building, asking where MVP is.

AI approaches Magnus outside, asking where Abyss is. Magnus says Abyss is fine, and there’s nothing to worry about.

Elsewhere, AI 2 is with MVP in his office. MVP says he’s stoked for tonight because the card is stacked, then goes over the matches booked for the evening when Kenny King enters his office. MVP tells him he’ll catch up with King later and more or less pushes him to the side.

MATCH 2-Straightjacket Match: Mr. Anderson Samuel Shaw
Oh, yay. Two guys I don’t give a rat’s ass having a 3rd match. Anderson cuts a long, dumb-ass promo before Shaw comes out. It’s pathetic how awful Anderson is at public speaking. Shaw comes out, and he decides to give a promo, too. More yay. He rambles on about creating art, then calls everyone in the building besides him ordinary. As he gets on the apron, Anderson nails him with a forearm, officially starting this match. Anderson nails Shaw on the outside, then goes for the straightjacket. Shaw comes back with rights and a kneelift. Anderson reverses an Irish whip, sending Shaw over the ring steps. He grabs the jacket once again and tries to put it on Shaw. Shaw kicks him away, back-first into the steps. Commercials.

Back from the break, Shaw clotheslines Anderson in the ring with the jacket in his hands. He chokes Anderson, hits a right, then tries to get Anderson in the jacket. He gets Anderson’s arms in the sleeves, then begins to celebrate. Anderson hits him in the face, follows up with a pair of clotheslines, a back elbow and a spinning neckbreaker. He hits Shaw with a rolling fireman’s carry slam, then finally takes the jacket off. He gets one of Shaw’s arms in, then the other. Shaw kicks him in the nuts, then locks in the kata gatame. He chokes Anderson out, takes the jacket off and gets Anderson in it. Anderson starts to fight back, so Shaw chokes him with the kata gatame once again. He continues getting the jacket on Anderson, then turns him over to tie up the straps, something he has no idea how to do. Eventually, the ref decides he’s done a good enough of a job and calls for the bell.

WINNER: Samuel Shaw, who is sporting a bloody nose.

AI is in a dressing room with the Beautiful People, and he asks Angelina Love how long she’s been waiting for this moment. Love says this is years in the making, and tonight, the BP will rewrite history. If we thought they were deadly before, we haven’t seen anything yet. Velvet Sky then goes off on Madison Rayne and says that while Rayne should be at home taking care of her baby, she’s going to get beat down by the “vixens of violence”.

Earlier today, AI was with Eric Young outside, asking about his World title match tonight. He says this isn’t about the title; it’s about responsibility. He brought out the monster, and he has to deal with it. Having said that, he’s been here 10 years, and tonight, he’ll show everyone why he deserves this spot.

MATCH 3: Tigre Uno vs. World X-Division Champion Sanada (non-title)
We are informed this is the first match in a best-of-3 series, and if the series goes to a third match, the title will be on the line. Before it starts, Kenny King comes out and says no disrespect, but the “King of the Night” is in the building right now. He’s not here to own the spotlight; he’s here to lock it down. He’s the “pretty-boy pitbull”, and he IS the X-Division. The division isn’t the same without him. He then rambles that he was born for this. Before it goes on too long, MVP comes out. Are we even going to get this match?

MVP calls King crazy, interrupting his show. This became his show when he sent Dixie Carter home, and he’s held responsible for the show’s content. King says that, even with MVP in the ring, King is still the biggest star in the ring right now. There are no other stars here besides him. MVP says they can talk about this in his office. King says unless there is money and girls back there, he’s not leaving. In fact, it’s time for him to main-event TNA. MVP says that could happen, but the show is booked tonight. Maybe next week. King then asks what MVP is doing tonight. He wants MVP participate tonight against King so he can show his stuff. MVP tells him he’s not on the card, and he needs to go. King asks if he can take a bow for his fands before he leaves, then smacks MVP upside the head. He asks for an exhibition match once more, and MVP finally agrees. Commercials.

Back from the break, this match has finally started. Uno takes Sanada down with a top-wristlock, then applies a side headlock. They crisscross until Uno hits a backflip kick. He blocks another kick in the corner, spins Sanada through the ropes and kicks him in the back. He goes for a dive, but Sanada sees him coming, so Uno puts on the breaks. Back in the ring, Uno locks in a modified surfboard before putting his foot into Sanada’s back. Sanada reverses the move and hits a pair of back elbows. Up top, Sanada hits an overhand chop. He follows up with a deep armdrag and a back suplex. He misses a standing moonsault, lands on his feet and hits a seated dropkick to the back for 2. Uno reverses a corner whip, then misses a splash. Sanada locks in a rolling cradle for 2, and Uno rolls to the floor. Sanada goes for a suicide dive, but Uno comes back in with a spinning heel kick. He hits another kick in the corner and goes for a springboard, but he’s met with a dropkick. Sanada goes up for a moonsault, and Uno crotches him, knocking him back down to the mat. Uno heads up now for a split-legged moonsault, but Sanada gets his knees up. He then hits Uno with a tiger suplex and gets 3.

AI stops Magnus in the back again, asking where Abyss is. Magnus says not to worry. There’s a good reason we haven’t seen Abyss yet, and he’ll reveal that reason shortly.

We see Brittany in the locker room with Madison Rayne. She says she looks up to Rayne, then lists off her credentials before saying Rayne doesn’t have a partner for later tonight and offers her services. Rayne says no, because getting involved with the BP is a never-ending struggle and Brittany doesn’t deserve that. Brittany says Rayne was in her position a few years ago and knows what it was like. Rayne agrees, then tells her to shut the door so they can talk strategy.

Magnus heads out to the ring, and he’s got something to share with everyone. He calls Abyss out to the ring, and after a few seconds of patronizing remarks by the champ, Abyss’ music hits. After a few seconds, he comes out in a 3-piece suit, all the while still wearing his mask. Magnus says this is how the upper echelon dresses. Abyss looks like a winner because he’s associated with a winner. Abyss IS a winner, but the reason he was called out here was so they could discuss strategy for the main event later tonight. MVP, SpikeTV, rumor merchants and the idiot fans will say this is a 4-corners match. They know the hook is the prospect of Abyss facing Magnus, but they both know that won’t happen. The reason that won’t happen is because they’re a team and best buds. He treats Abyss like a human, like a star. He mentions James Mitchell, and Abyss starts to get fired up a bit. Magnus calms him down, then mentions Eric Young’s mind games. He’s different. He’s a Brit, and British people have a hard time showing emotion. It’s hard for him to express himself sometimes, and it’s hard for him to say this, but he’d like to say something Abyss has been longing to hear his whole life. Magnus tells Abyss he loves him, then gives Abyss a hug. Abyss looks confused. The two then leave.

As Abyss is heading up the ramp, EY shows up from out of nowhere and nails Abyss in the back of the head. Magnus comes back and the two roll EY into the ring, where they stomp him down. Samoa Joe hits the ring. Magnus flees, and Abyss remains, receiving a headbutt for his effort. As the heels leave, Joe and EY have a staredown before talking some trash to each other. EY tells Joe he doesn’t need help, and for Joe to stay out of his business.

MVP is in his office with the Wolves. He asks if they’re stoked for their tag title rematch tonight. A moment later, the Robbie E walks in with a trainer and says there will be no match tonight. Apparently, Jesse got hurt at the gym and pulled his quad, making him unable to compete tonight, complete with a doctor’s note. E then threatens a lawsuit if MVP tries to make a match. After he leaves, MVP shakes his head and tells the Wolves he can’t take a chance. The title match for tonight is now canceled.

Another video of Knux returning home. We see him at his dad’s house/outhouse. His dad says he needs Knux’s help because the town was hit with a flood recently. Knux offers to stay for a few days and help get his dad’s business up and running again.

MATCH 4: The Beautiful People (Angelina Love and Velvet Sky) vs. Brittany and Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne
“Beautiful” is definitely not the right word for these two. And these costumes are rigoddamndiculous. Brittany and Love start with a lock-up. Love hits a knee and a forearm to the face. Brittany comes back with a kick and a series of forearms. She shoulders Love off the ropes, then hits a pair of armdrags, followed by a bodyslam. Sky tags in and gets hit with a drop-toehold. Sky fights out of a front chancery with a jawbreaker, then sends Brittany to the corner. Brittany hits an elbow, but then gets yanked down by the hair by Love. Love comes in, and the BP hit a double elbow for 2. Love slams Brittany’s face into the mat a couple times, then taunts Rayne, allowing an illegal double-team in the corner. Love hits a snapmare and a seated dropkick to the back before tagging in Sky, who hits a kick to the gut before throwing Brittany to the corner for some shoulder thrusts. Love chokes Brittany behind the ref’s back, and Sky lays in some boots before stacking Brittany up for 2. Brittany comes back with a side-Russian legsweep. Love and Rayne tag in. Rayne ducks a clothesline and hits a pair of her own. She follows up with an enziguri and a running boot to the head for 2 until Sky breaks up the pin. Brittany tags herself in and hits a dropkick. Sky comes in and the BP hit Brittany with the Makeover (a pair of kicks to the chest and back) for 3.

WINNER: The Beautiful People.

MATCH 5-”Exhibition” Match: Kenny King vs. MVP
The two shake hands before locking up. MVP applies an arm wringer. King tries to roll through, but MVP rolls with him, maintaining the hold. King gets to the ropes and backflips his way out of the hold. They lock up again, and now King applies the arm wringer. MVP reverses, then breaks the hold. They lock up again, and now MVP has a hammerlock on King. King reverses into a Japanese armdrag. He then applies a side headlock before the two crisscross. MVP snags King by the leg and applies a modified STF before just letting go for whatever reason. They lock up yet again, and King goes back to the side headlock, turning it into a hipthrow. He turns MVP onto his stomach, then does a handspring just because. MVP hits a hip throw of his own, keeping the side headlock locked in. King counters into a headscissors. MVP escapes and applies a front chancery. He backs King into the corner, and King nails him with a headbutt. King applies a waistlock, and MVP counters into a pair of takedowns. King breaks the hold with a back elbow, and MVP nails him with a right. MVP ducks a clothesline, and now the two trade punches. MVP takes King down and continues nailing rights, and now the match has been thrown out.

WINNER: Double disqualification. Well, that was pointless. A couple of referees hit the ring to pull these two apart, and once they’re separated, King nails MVP from behind before heading back up the ramp.

Magnus is looking for EC3 in the back, finding him in a hallway. He compliments EC3 on his match, and EC3 wants to know what he wants. Magnus says their business relationship is over, but they’re still friends. He asks if EC3 still has his back. EC3 asks where he was when Willow tried to break his leg. He doesn’t know why Magnus needs him, since he’s got Abyss, a man Magnus claims to love. He’s afraid Abyss will come unleashed and go for the title. Magnus doesn’t want to play therapist, and just wants to know if EC3 has his back. EC3 doesn’t have an answer.

AI catches up with Kenny King in the back. King calls the match a good-spirited exhibition, and MVP was trying to play him, so he had to show him a little bit of something. MVP storms in and begins nailing him with rights, and the fight spills outside. The Wolves just happen to be nearby, and they get between the two, calming MVP down as King leaves the area.

MATCH 6-4-Corners Match for the World Championship: Samoa Joe vs. Eric Young vs. Abyss vs. Magnus (Champion)
Abyss attacks EY, while Magnus squares off with Joe in the adjacent corner. Magnus hits a couple of strikes, but Joe comes back with an inverted atomic drop, a running boot and a running senton. EY begins hitting Abyss with rights as the other two start brawling at ringside. EY hits a shoulder thrust from the apron, slides back into the ring and dropkicks Abyss to the floor. Joe and Abyss trade punches, and Magnus joins in. EY takes them out with a suicide dive, then rolls Magnus back in for a top rope cross-body for 2. Abyss comes in and misses an avalanche on EY, hitting Magnus instead. Joe is back in, and he argues with EY. Abyss and Magnus nail both of them. Commercials.

Back from the break, Magnus dumps Joe to the outside before foot-choking EY in the corner. Abyss stomps EY at the same time, then picks him up for a right to the head. Magnus tells Abyss to go after Joe on the outside, and now the two big men are brawling. In the ring, EY hits a kick, but gets dropped with a misdirection clothesline as Abyss chokes Joe on the outside. Magnus goes for the pin on EY, getting 2. He now has EY in a rear chinlock. Joe comes nails Abyss with some forearms, but gets hit with a knee in the gut. Magnus hits EY with a high knee off the ropes. He goes for another pin, getting 2. Abyss is raking at Joe’s face as EY makes a comeback in the ring with rights. It’s short-lived, though, as Magnus drops him with a back elbow. Outside, Joe hits some snap jabs on Abyss. Inside, Magnus hits a gutwrench suplex for on EY for 2. Abyss drops Joe and comes back into the ring. He clubs EY across the back as Magnus prevents Joe from re-entering the ring. Abyss picks EY up and puts him back down with a forearm to the head. Magnus sets EY up for a superplex, but Abyss steps in, as he’s the one who wants to do it. Magnus and Abyss argue a bit before Magnus goes to the middle rope. EY fights him off, then hits a double dropkick from the top on the heels. He fights them both off with rights and forearms until Magnus sends him to the floor with a hard corner whip. Joe is back in, and now he’s throwing forearms all over the place. He whips Abyss into Magnus in the corner, hits them both with a running hip bump, then nails Abyss with a jumping spin kick. Magnus rakes Joe’s eyes before running into a snap powerslam for 2. EY breaks up the pin and receives a powerslam for his efforts, getting Joe another 2 as Abyss breaks it up. Joe then hits Abyss with a powerslam. Magnus receives a knife-edge, then gets locked in the Kokina Clutch. Magnus breaks it with a low blow, then whips Joe into Abyss, who hits the Black Hole Slam. Joe rolls to the floor, and Magnus follows, throwing Joe into the steps. EY is back in, trying to fight off Abyss. Abyss goozles him and goes for a chokeslam, but EY bites the hand. It’s all for naught, as Abyss quickly hits the Black Hole Slam. He goes for the pin, but Magnus screams at him not to to do it. Magnus tells Abyss to listen to him, not the fans. He loves Abyss, and that’s when Abyss backs off. Magnus up top and hits the flying elbow, which is enough for 3.

WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: Magnus.

We get a teaser for next week, ending with a graphic for the hashtag #WrathofDixie.

F*CK.

End of show.

Dustin Nichols is a freelance writer, and you can keep track of all of his work on his Facebook page, which can be found at www.facebook.com/DustinNicholsWriter. Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out his mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:

TNA Impact Wrestling Results & March 27 Recap

March 29, 2014 By: Category: WWE | Pro Wrestling

This week’s show opens with MVP heading down to the ring. He says he knows Abyss can hear him, and what he needs to know is that MVP’s intention here is to make a level playing field, and wrestlers will rise/fall based on talent alone. A great man once said that the cream always rises to the top. So, after speaking to the board of directors, it’s time to make an executive decision.

Before that can happen, Magnus and Abyss interrupt. Magnus says that, before MVP does anything rash, he needs to remind MVP that Abyss has a legitimate service contract with the World Champion. He doesn’t work for TNA or MVP; he works for Magnus. That means the only time MVP’s authority works on him is through Magnus, and Magnus has to be in the ring. That’s the way it is, and MVP needs to get on-board. MVP is completely on-board, and knowing Magnus the way he does, he’s sure Magnus has legal documentation. Magnus does, so MVP says there shouldn’t be any problems. After being handcuffed to Abyss, MVP saw how violent he could be. Make no mistake, MVP isn’t going to fire him, but he’s also not afraid of him. If Abyss puts his hands on MVP again, MVP will show him a real violent side. But that’s for another day. As he’s watched Magnus manipulate him, he wondered if Abyss wanted something more, something great. He asks if Abyss wants a shot at the title. Since they’d both be in the ring at the same time, MVP can make it happen. When that title is on the line, we’ll find out where Abyss’ loyalties really lie. Before we go, someone has been getting shafted by Magnus repeatedly, so next week, Magnus will defend the title against Abyss and the still-#1 contender, Samoa Joe in a 3-way next week.

Joe comes down and says he’s not hearing things right. If he’s not mistaken, he’s only asked MVP for one thing, and it’s for Joe to have a fair, uninterrupted opportunity to beat Magnus’ ass and take back the title. Instead of that, he’s hearing his rematch is now a handicap match. MVP points out it’s a 3-way, and Magnus can’t control Abyss with the title on the line. Joe tells MVP he’s about to have a problem controlling Joe in a few seconds. Magnus says they have their own problems, so he’s just going to go ahead and do one thing. Before that happens, Joe nails Magnus. Abyss attacks Joe from behind, and MVP starts attacking him. Eric Young hits the ring and attacks both Magnus and Abyss as we go to commercials.

Back from the break, EY, Joe and MVP are still in the ring. EY says he has the solution to MVP’s problem. He brought out the monster in Abyss, so he’s gotta be the one to stop him. MVP put Abyss in a match with Joe and Magnus next week, and now he’s going to put EY in it as well. He’s going to take care of Abyss, and Joe is going to get what he deserves, and that’s Magnus one-on-one. MVP says he respects EY, but EY hasn’t earned this just yet. EY says he’s been here 10 years. Where was MVP when he was in Team Canada or leading World Elite? He lists off the rest of the crap he’s done, then lists off all the titles he’s won in TNA. Lastly, every crazy idea TNA has saddled on him, he’s taken the ball, ran with it and knocked it out of the park. Some say he’s the most entertaining wrestler out there, and that’s important to him. But make no mistake, he’s a world-class wrestler, and he will get what he deserves. Joe steps between them and says no one doubts EY. The problem is there’s a line, and EY isn’t at the head of it. MVP still hasn’t delivered Joe his fair title match, and until he gets that, EY gets nothing. MVP says they all agree on an even playing field. He appreciates EY’s passion, and EY validated his case. He can’t deny someone who is willing to step up to the plate, so if EY wants in the title match, he’s in, making it a 4-way. Joe gets in EY’s face and pie-faces him, so EY tackles him. Now they are brawling, and MVP is just letting it happen. A couple of referees come down and pull them apart, and that’s when MVP steps in. Joe screams at EY and challenges him to a one-on-one match later tonight. MVP makes it official.

Bully Ray is in the back, and he says his “Twitter Machine” is back. Bobby Roode, if you mess with the bull, you get the horns. Tonight, you better get the tables. A lot of them.

The Wolves approach MVP in the back, and they have a favor to ask for MVP. They want a match with Magnus and Abyss tonight. MVP likes the idea, and he can’t be responsible for what happens to the Wolves’ opponents.

We get a video of EC3 and Rockstar Spud hunting for Willow in a forrest. I’m not recapping this garbage. What kind of stupid crap is this?

MATCH 1: The Wolves (Eddie Edwards and Davey Richards) vs. Abyss and World Champion Magnus
Edwards and Magnus start for their teams and Magnus quickly goes to an arm wringer. Richards counters into a hammerlock, and Magnus nails a back elbow, sending Richards to the corner. He stomps Richards down, then nails him in the face with a right. He follows up with a gut shot and a European uppercut, then taunts Edwards. Richard tries to fight back, backflips out of a suplex and tags in Edwards. Edwards hits some chops and the Wolves hit their drop toehold/dropkick combo for 2. Richards back in, and the Wolves hit a double headbutt. Richards throws Magnus into Edwards’ head and tags Edwards in. Abyss makes a blind tag off a double Irish whip and hits a double clothesline to the back. Commercials.

Back from the break, Magnus is back in. Edwards hits a headbutt and a chop, ducks a clothesline and goes for a cross-body. Magnus catches him and hits an elevated northern lights bomb for 2. He drives his knee into Edwards’ back and applies a rear chinlock. Edwards fights out, but gets hit with a back elbow off the ropes. Magnus stomps Edwards, then whips him across the ring. Edwards blocks the charge and hits a hurricanrana from the second rope. Edwards makes the tag, and Richards comes in with a kick on Abyss on the apron. He nails some shots on Magnus before hitting a modified Tidal Crush. Abyss comes in, and Richards sends him into Magnus in the corner. Richards comes off the top with a double dropkick, then hits some kicks to the chest. He escapes a slam, drops down behind Magnus and allows Edwards to come in with a step-up enziguri that sends him right into a Richards German suplex. Richards rolls through into a reverse jackknife for 2 as Abyss breaks up the pin. The Wolves begin double-teaming Abyss until Abyss grabs them in a double goozle. He picks them up for stereo chokeslams, but both Wolves backflip, land on their feet and nail Abyss in the knees with a pair of dropkicks. They hit a pair of kicks to the face, sending Abyss to the floor. Richards hits a suicide dive, and in the ring, Edwards locks Magnus in a half-Boston crab, to which Magnus taps out almost immediately.

WINNERS: The Wolves. Abyss is confused by Magnus’ actions, then grabs the title and stares at it for a moment before bringing it back to Magnus. Instead of giving it to Magnus, however, he walks right by Magnus and carries the title to the back.

Angelina Love and her sh*tty jailhouse tattoos come down to the ring. She says her and Velvet Sky have an issue, because Sky hasn’t answered her calls all week. Before this escalates, she wants Sky to come down and tell her what the hell Sky’s problem is.

Sky comes down, wearing lifting gloves with street clothes for whatever reason. She says she is pissed off. What was that with Madison Rayne last week? Love said she would fix things, but instead mopped the floor with Rayne. Love says she did that for the Beautiful People. Sky didn’t sign up for this, so Love asks what she signed up for, an introduction to being mediocre? Without Love, that’s what Sky is. She’s bland, soft and has lost her edge. She’s on her way to becoming another forgotten face around here. Sky has nothing to say because Love is right. Sky was a somebody in the BP, because she had Love. Sky says things have changed around here, and Love says the only thing that’s changed around here is Sky. She sat at home for 2 years because she’s a headache, but she’d rather do that and be blackballed by wrestling than be someone else’s beyotch. Tonight, she has a match with Rayne, and by the time that’s over, Sky needs to pick a side. And she needs to commit to that side because she wants to, not because Love is telling her. Love then walks off.

We get a video package for the feud between Gunner and James Storm. They are facing each other later tonight.

The “Hunt for Willow” continues. I continue to not care.

And the “hunt” continues some more. They’re in front of a barn. EC3 enters, makes fake screaming noises, then laughs. Willow kidnaps Spud from behind. Just riveting stuff here. Great television.

Another video for Gunner/Storm.

Bully Ray comes down, then motions for someone else to come out. Some random fans (mostly local wrestlers, I’m sure) come down and surround the ring with tables. A couple get set up in the ring as well, and Ray says he bought every table he could find. He does his catchphrase and says he’s the guy who made sure that Dixie Carter is no longer part of TNA. If Bobby Roode would have won at Lockdown, he would have been just like Dixie. The last thing wrestling needs is another owner like Dixie. He put Roode through a table, and Roode did the same to him. The time for talk is over. Ray asks the fans how many tables Roode should be put through, and he comes out after Ray counts to five. Roode says he isn’t intimidated. The guy Ray screwed over doesn’t exist anymore. The opportunity to become an owner did blind him, but then he remembered who he is. He’s the guy who became the longest-reigning World Champion in company history. He’s the guy who smashed a beer bottle over his best friend’s head. And he’s the guy who spit in the face of Dixie before that became cool. He’s also the guy who tricked Ray last week into going to the corporate office just to give him a taste of his own medicine. Now, he asks the fans if they know who he is. Ray tells him to quit running mouth, get in the ring and fight him now. Roode calls him pathetically typical. Ray doesn’t call the shots and doesn’t tell Roode what to do. Roode is the guy who calls the shots around here. He says when and where. Ray says the same thing about himself, then says the fans want it now. Roode tells him it’s not going to happen and begins heading up the ramp. Ray leaves the ring and nails Roode from behind on the ramp, then begins nailing him with punches and elbows. He slams Roode’s face into the steps, then leans him against the guardrail for a chop. Roode falls across a table, and Ray signals for an elbow off the apron. Roode moves before Ray can dive, so Ray puts on the brakes before dropping down and nailing another chop. He leans Roode against a table for another chop, but misses, hurting his hand. Roode grabs the bad hand and slams it against the top of the guardrail before whipping it against the ring post. Roode goes for a suplex through a table, but Ray blocks it and goes for the Bully Cutter. Roode blocks that and shoves Ray face-first into the ring post before nailing a shot to the back. He nails another one to the face before rolling Ray onto the apron for a shot to the back. He pulls a set-up table closer to the apron and looks for a move. Ray boots him in the gut and signals for a powerbomb. Roode backdrops him into the ring over the top rope. In the ring, Roode gets on the middle rope, where he misses a blockbuster. Ray snaps off some jabs and hits the Flip, Flop & Fly. He signals for a big boot as Roode leans against a table in the corner. Ray charges, and Roode moves, causing Ray’s boot to go right through the table. Roode nails a chope to the chest, then goes for the Roode Bomb. Ray escapes, boots Roode and goes for a powerbomb through a table. Roode escapes and nearly goes through a table in the corner. Ray charges in, Roode sidesteps him and sends him head-first through the table. Roode then bails.

Abyss enters Magnus’ dressing room, title in-hand. Magnus says that belongs to him, and Abyss shoves the belt into him. He asks what happened out there when Magnus tapped in less than two seconds. Magnus says that’s right, and he has no problem doing that when the title’s not on the line. Abyss says he doesn’t like losing. Magnus tells him to change his outlook quick. When they started this relationship, it was about him retaining the title, and that’s it. Next week, he has to win, his opponents have to lose, and one of those opponents is Abyss. He asks if Abyss understands that, and Abyss says nothing. Magnus tells him not to let MVP get in his head, or he’ll end up someone’s freak show yet again.

Another video for Knux. He’s in a shop that apparently repairs jukeboxes and arcade machines with some woman. They’re talking about his dad that won’t speak to him.

MATCH 2: Angelina Love vs. Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne (non-title)
Love tries to attack before the bell. Rayne ducks a clothesline and nails one of her own before assaulting Love in the corner. Love rolls to the floor, and Rayne gives chase. Back in the ring, Love misses an elbow. Rayne nails a forearm to the back as Sky comes down to the ring. Rayne throws Love face-first into the buckles, then charges near the ropes. Love pulls the middle rope down and sends Rayne to the floor. Love rolls her back in before telling Sky to go to the corner. Rayne rolls her up from behind for 2, then gets an inside cradle in for another 2. Love comes back with a kick and a jawbreaker before launching Rayne to the floor. Sky checks on Rayne and Love drops to the floor. She tells Sky she’s supposed to be watching Love’s back as she rolls Rayne back in for a 2-count. Love rakes her nails across Rayne’s back, then continues to yell at Sky before foot-choking Rayne across the middle rope. Love yanks on Rayne’s face, then nails a forearm that sends Rayne into the ropes. Rayne ducks a clothesline and the two hit simultaneous hair whips on each other. Rayne blocks a forearm before hitting a few of her own. She hits a clothesline off the ropes, a back elbow and a northern lights suplex for 2. Rayne nails a seated dropkick that sends Love to the floor. Love screams at Sky. Boy, I didn’t miss that voice. As she’s screaming, Rayne hits a baseball slide before rolling Sky back in the ring. As the ref checks on Love, Sky boots Rayne in the gut and hits a DDT on the floor before rolling Rayne back in. Love covers her and gets the 3.

WINNER: Angelina Love. The Beautiful People celebrate after the match.

ODB approaches EY in the back and asks if he’s ready. He is, and he’s not afraid of anything. It’s not about the title, it’s about getting respect and making sure everyone knows what he’s about.

MVP is in his office dealing with a delivery man when Kenny King enters. He asks what MVP has for him tonight, and MVP has nothing for him. However, he has a show fit for a king next week, and he’ll make sure he’s got something for King.

MATCH 3: Samoa Joe vs. Eric Young
Joe talks some trash and shoves EY, so EY hits some rights. Joe throws him to the floor, but EY gets right back in and hits a seated dropkick that sends Joe to the corner. He nails some punches in the corner until Joe hits a kneelift. EY hits a right and a flying forearm for 1. EY throws Joe to the corner for some forearm shots, then tries a corner whip. Joe reverses, so EY does the Flair Flip. As he tries a shoulder thrust from the apron, Joe nails him in the chest with a kick. EY comes back with a few rights until Joe nails a back elbow. Joe slams EY face-first into the buckles, then hits a knife-edge. EY gets whipped across the ring, and Joe nails him with a running hip bump and a jumping spin kick for 2. EY tries to fight back with some more punches, and Joe stops that with a headbutt. Joe hits a snapmare, a chop to the back, a kick to the chest and a jumping kneedrop for 2. Joe corner-whips EY again, but EY avoids contact, leaps over Joe and comes off the ropes as the two simultaneously clothesline each other. EY hits some more rights, ducks a clothesline and hits one of his own. He follows up with a dropkick and a bodyslam, then signals for the flying elbow. Joe rolls out of the way, so EY jumps over him. Joe is in the corner, and he catches EY with a standing uranage for 2. Joe whips him into the corner again, and EY nails a boot. He goes up top and misses a moonsault. Joe locks in the Kokina Clutch. EY tries to fall back onto Joe out of the corner, but this only allows Joe to lock the hold in tighter, causing EY to pass out.

WINNER: Samoa Joe. As Joe is celebrating, Earl Hebner comes out and is discussing what just happened with Brian Hebner, the referee for the match. Brian is insisting EY passed out, but Earl is saying EY fell on top of him, and Brian should have counted the pin because Joe’s shoulders were down.

More Willow hunting. EC3 finds some of Spud’s clothes outside of an abandoned house, then heads in.

We see some footage from last week after the show. It’s Samuel Shaw, and he enters Christy Hemme’s dressing room. Hemme doesn’t want to hear what he has to say and slaps him before telling him to get out. She starts fake-crying as Shaw cuts off a strip of her hair and sniffs it. He then says that’s all he needed. Apparently, this has led to a whole one-week suspension for Shaw (this week). Next week, he’s back in a Straightjacket Match against Mr. Anderson.

Yet another Gunner/Storm video.

MATCH 4-No Disqualification Match: James Storm vs. Gunner
Gunner meets Storm on the ramp and assaults him with rights. Gunner sets up a table. I don’t know if the bell still has even been rung yet as Storm slams Gunner face-first into the steps. Gunner blocks a slam into the apron and nails Storm. He grabs a chair from under the ring and slides it in before nailing Storm with more rights. He goes for a suplex on the floor, which connects. Gunner throws a couple of trashcan lids into the ring, but then gets thrown into the steps again. Storm hits Gunner in the head with a water bottle, then nails a few rights before slamming him face-first into the apron. He pulls the drawstring from his tights for some reason, then nails a kick to the side of Gunner’s head, sending him back to the floor. On the ramp now, Storm hits a suplex. Gunner blocks another slam into the steps, then lands one on Storm himself. He grabs a chair and rams it into Storm’s gut, then tosses a couple more into the ring. The two finally get in the ring, and Storm hits a leaping DDT from the middle rope. Commercials.

Back from the break, Gunner hits a running knee in the corner before hitting a slingshot suplex for 2. Gunner grabs a chair and a trashcan lid, then drops the lid to wedge the chair in the corner. He tries to send Storm in, but Storm blocks it and tries the same thing. Gunner blocks it, and now the two are nailing trashcan lid shots on each other. Gunner gets the best of the exchange, but then takes one to the face. He no-sells it it and hits a spear for 2. Storm thumbs Gunner in the eye and nails an uppercut in the corner. Gunner comes back with a back elbow and goes for a sunset flip. Storm rolls through and catapults him into the chair from earlier. Storm hits a backcracker and follows up with a flying elbow for 2. Storm rolls to the floor and grabs two more chair and sets them in the ring before grabbing a beer bottle from under the ring. He then puts another chair into the ring, then climbs onto the apron with a trashcan lid. Gunner recovers and spears him through the ropes, sending him through the table below. Gunner rolls Storm in and covers him, getting only 2. Gunner grabs a chair, then grabs another one from outside. He sets them up in the middle, only one of them is broken. Storm gets set up on the top rope, and now Gunner is looking for a superplex. Storm fights him off, but Gunner continues the attack before hitting it through the chairs. Gunner goes for the pin, and Storm kicks out at 2 yet again. Gunner goes for the Mr. Pibb, but Storm escapes, hits Closing Time and two Last Calls for 2. An overrated chant breaks out, and I mean the one where they chant, “This is awesome”. Gunner grabs the beer bottle from earlier and smashes it over Storm’s head. He hits the Mr. Pibb, which is apparently called Hangar 18 now, and gets the 3.

WINNER: Gunner. Suddenly, I’m getting the feeling Storm might be done with TNA soon.

Back to Willow hunting in the abandoned house. EC3 threatens to burn the house when he sees Spud tied up. We hear Willow yell. God, I can’t take this. Willow shows up and beats EC3 up while laughing, hitting him with an umbrella and a plastic skeleton hand. Fearsome, I tells ya.

End of show.

Dustin Nichols is a freelance writer, and you can keep track of all of his work on his Facebook page, which can be found at www.facebook.com/DustinNicholsWriter. Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out his mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:

This is Why You Don’t Have Nice Things, TNA Wrestling

March 26, 2014 By: Category: WWE | Pro Wrestling

I’ve had writers block for the last few days, which sucks when you have to write papers along with being a semi-well known wrestling writer with six followers on twitter. Living in Milwaukee, I also anticipate the end of spring so I can ramble about wrestling on my porch while my neighbors call the authorities. So what if I ramble about Halloween Havoc 2000 while carrying an axe? Keep to your own business and let me ramble on.

So, yesterday morning I was watching Raw on my DVR when I saw an ad for a TNA show coming to my area. It aired in the first ten minutes and never aired again. I was interested since they’ve rarely run my neck of the woods, and lo and behold they’re nut running the biggest mark in Wisconsin. There is a date in Racine (Where they’ve ran before, so understandable), and La Crosse. Now, this seems like an odd thing to rant about and it might seem like I’m mad that they’re not running in Milwaukee.

The reality is though; that what TNA is doing is actually the opposite of what they’ve should be doing. The card in La Crosse (Aptly title The La Crosse Center) will be at the same arena that the WWE runs and that have run and that can up to 7,500 people max. This company just saw a heavily promoted Lockdown card with a Fan Fest draw 1,500 people and that was with 600 freebies. If the card was in a smaller arena that may not be bad, but it was a 7,972 seats arena. Now, what are they going to draw in an arena the same size with half the promotion? At-least the arena in Racine is small, but I highly doubt the number will be above 1,000 at best.

Sure, if you load the card up with big names like a non-wrestling Angle appearance or Hardy/Willow you could get a good number, but the biggest star is Mr. Anderson. This isn’t 1988 when the Superclash people contemplated an Omni show based of the possibility of Michael Hayes being there could draw a big number. Heck, they’re promoting Anderson/Magnus as the big match and they’re not even running Green Bay, you know that town Anderson hails from. You think after all those pictures of a damn near empty arena a few weeks ago, they’d reconsider the arenas they’d run live events in?

In the interest of research, I decided to list arenas that TNA could run in Milwaukee, all of which hold under five thousand fans and could guarantee a good crowd number with the right card and right amount of promotion. The one thing they all have in common? THEY’VE ALL HAD WRESTLING EVENTS THERE. It was actually simple, as I just did a google search and found these arenas. There were also an ice arena that can hold a maximum capacity of 2,000 seats right down the street from where I live.

The Eagles Ballroom: ECW ran this arena in the late nineties and it actually got a PPV (Hardcore Heaven 2000). It drew about 3,400 fans and it can be configured for fewer amounts of people. Bellator has ran there, and various other combat sports have ran cards there. This would be a good venue for TNA if they want to run a decent sized building without risking having the arena look half-empty. If ROH ever does one of their big events here, it’ll probably be here.

The Milwaukee Theatre: Apart of the US Celluar Arena (Still The Mecca to me), the Theatre held Superbrawl II while the Mecca itself was the go-to arena for WWE and WCW. Like the Ballroom, the number of seats at the Theatre can be configured from 4,086 to 2,500. These are the types of decent-sized arenas TNA should be running, venues that can have their seating configuration changed if tickets aren’t selling well.

Turner Hall Ballroom: Ring of Honor has made this venue their new home and have sold out the place the last few times they’ve been here. Their card on March 7th had 700 fans, the biggest number they’ve drawn this far. It’s a good wrestling venue with a balcony so you can film overhead shots along with the action on the floor. Overall, it would be a good venue for TNA to run their first show in Milwaukee in and then gauge interest in returning later. I’m sure that is what ROH did, if their first card bombed, they wouldn’t be back despite having TV in my area.

You also have the Miramar Theater that Chikara ran, but that is about a three hundred seat building at best. Even at that, TNA’s marketing of the live events hyping up meeting the stars has even backfired on them. AJ Styles talked about it in an interview, they would draw a great number, the fans met all the wrestlers and the number was down when they’d return. Why, you may ask? Well, they got to meet the wrestlers, got their pictures taken, get autographs and rub shoulders with them. Why pay to do it again?

For a company that actually had to write The University of Temple a check for having such low attendance for a show last year, running large buildings shouldn’t even be a thought. Instead, run smaller buildings that you can draw a good number there and build a fan base. It harkens back to an old AWA story from the Observer. The company had once-again run the story of the challenger going after the champion into the ground, this time Buddy Rose and Doug Summers as champs, the Rockers the challengers. The Rockers had chased Rose and Summers for eight months, so Verne saw fit to blow it off in a big show at the Met Center. Did the fans fill it up? Nope, only 950 came out to the Met Center that night drawing a paltry $8,000 gate. For those of you that were wondering, it cost $10,000 to run the building. Verne had the chance to do the switch the previous month on Christmas Day in-front of 8,000 fans but didn’t. Somebody might want to consider giving Dixie the leasing information for the pink room of doom that the company used in its dying days.

Robert Goeman has been writing for CamelClutchBlog since 2014 and has written for FiveOuncesofPain and What Culture. Follow him on twitter at https://twitter.com/RobertGoeman. After every article, Robert usually does “Talking Points” on twitter, bringin up points that didn’t make the article.

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TNA Impact Wrestling Results & March 20 Recap

March 22, 2014 By: Category: WWE | Pro Wrestling

This week on TNA Impact Wrestling Samoa Joe faces Magnus for the World Championship.

We see the outside of TNA’s headquarters in Nashville, TN. Apparently, there was a meeting between Dixie Carter and Bully Ray, and we will see the video of that in a little bit.

Eric Young and Abyss are brawling in the back as ODB is cheering her husband on off-camera. She begins hitting Abyss across the back with a wodden stick. He takes it from her and breaks it, which allows EY to nail him several times with a garbage can. Abyss fights back with rights and forearms. He nails EY in the leg with what looks like a piece of PVC pipe, then chokes him with it. EY comes back with a punch before slamming Abyss face-first into a door. The brawl is spilling from the parking lot to the backstage area as Abyss throws EY into a bunch of chairs. Abyss grabs a chain, but before he can whip EY, EY boots him. He grabs the chain and begins whipping Abyss with it. EY wraps it around his fist and nails Abyss in the side of the head twice. The brawl is now spilling into the arena and onto the entrance ramp. EY continues whipping Abyss with the chain. He nails a few more punches until Abyss comes back with a kneelift. Abyss nails a right to the head and throws the chain in the ring. EY gets rolled in, recovers and hits a baseball slide. He follows up with a suicide dive, then grabs a chair, chasing him around the ring. He misses a shot and swings the chair into the steps, and Abyss then throws him shoulder-first into the other set of steps. Abyss peppers EY with rights to the head and rolls him into the ring. He grabs another chair and slides it into the ring as well as EY tries to pull himself to his feet. Abyss sets the chair up, and now EY is coming back with rights. It’s short-lived as Abyss pancakes him off the ropes and face-first into the chair. Abyss is now choking EY with his own tanktop. He begins assaulting EY in the corner, then grabs the chain from earlier. He wraps it around EY’s neck, but EY bites him in the face, ducks a couple of wild swings and begins landing a series of punches. Abyss quickly comes back with a Black Hole Slam. Chain in-hand once more, he chokes EY through the ropes, pulling him backwards across the top. Abyss eventually lets go as EY has appeared to have passed out. He leaves as ODB comes into the ring with referee Brian Hebner to check on EY.

MATCH 1: Ethan Carter III vs. Bobby Lashley
EC3 attacks Lashley at the opening bell, landing some forearms to the back. Lashley leapfrogs over him and clubs him across the back. EC3 gets whipped across the ring and blocks a corner clothesline. Lashley recovers and hits a back elbow. EC3 gets hit with a delayed vertical suplex and thrown back into the corner, where Lashley beats him down. Lashley beals EC3 across the ring, then signals for the spear. EC3 sees it coming and rolls to the floor. Lashley follows and receives a mule kick for his trouble. EC3 hits some forearms and slams Lashley face-first into the apron before hitting a knife-edge. Lashley has a brief comeback, but then gets kicked in the gut and rolled into the ring. EC3 goes up top, and Lashley tosses him back down to the mat. EC3 trips Lashley into the middle buckle on the opposite side, then lays in some forearms to the back. EC3 nails some mounted punches to Lashley’s chest and neck, then hits a double axe handle before applying a front chancery. He hits a few more forearms, then snaps some left jabs. Off the ropes, EC3 gets nailed with a spinebuster. He signals for the spear once more, but EC3 sees it coming yet again and drops to the floor. Lashley follows and nails him with a clothesline. Back in the ring, Lashley hits a running corner clothesline and stomps him down. Lashley sends EC3 into the corner, and he almost collides with the referee, but manages to put the breaks on. Lashley grabs EC3 in a waistlock, and EC3 hits one of the worst low blows I’ve ever seen before heading back to the floor. He starts to head up the ramp, but Willow comes from out of nowhere and nails him from behind, leading to the DQ.

WINNER VIA DISQUALIFICATION: Ethan Carter III.

Willow throws EC3 into the steps twice after the match, then a third time, knees-first. Willow pulls a chair and a ladder from underneath the ring and sets the ladder up at ringside. EC3 gets slammed face-first into the steps, and Willow takes the chair, Pillmanizing EC3′s leg with it. Willow drops an elbow, then climbs up the ladder. EC3 avoids any further damage by crawling under the ladder and up the ramp.

From earlier today: Bully Ray is with AI and says Dixie Carter called him for a meeting in TN, but claimed she was busy when she showed up. He says he’ll wait with no problem, for as long as it takes, because he’s got something to say and he will make sure he says it.

Samoa Joe is in MVP’s office, and he’s pissed. Joe says he’s frustrated with what MVP let happen at Lockdown. He’s frustrated that EY is on his way to the hospital as well. MVP is making sure EY is being taken care of. He wants Abyss neutralized as well, and he wants this match to go fairly. Joe just wants the title. MVP says he’ll find someone to be chained to Abyss, and he’ll fix this. Joe says every time MVP tries to fix things, they end up worse.

AI is in a dressing room with Angelina Love, asking if there will be a Beautiful People reunion. She knows she caught Velvet Sky off-guard last week, but she’s had plenty of time to think about that now, and tonight, Love wants to know where Sky stands.

EC3 enters Magnus’ locker room, asking where he was just a few minutes ago. Magnus cuts him off, and EC3 calls him an ass. Magnus accuses him of just being beaten up by a clown, then wants to know what EC3 wants. EC3 says their business relationship is terminated. Magnus already knew that, because he got everything he needed out of “aunt D”, so he’s kicked her to the curb and doesn’t need her anymore. He then says Abyss is the only person he needs, and everyone will find that out, so EC3 needs to take a seat and watch the title match later, since it will be standing room-only. EC3 wishes him good luck and leaves.

Gunner makes his way down to the ring, and he’s proud of the fact that, at Lockdown, he went to war with James Storm and came out victorious. He’s proud that he served his country, and the people who served with him. He’s proud of the veterans in this crowd. As a marine, he was trained to fight for everything he wants, and without that and the support of everyone, he wouldn’t be here today. He then thanks his father, who is sitting in the front row. He says that, when he first started in wrestling, he promised everyone he would be World Champion one day. The two then hug, and that’s when James Storm comes out, his new music only slightly less worse than his old music. He says he hates to break up this family reunion, but he finds it rude of Gunner to bring his dad here and not introduce them. Storm made Gunner a star, and he then introduces himself to Gunner Sr. He knows he’s Gunner’s dad, then makes fun of him crying about his son’s success. Storm then tells Sr. that his dad is looking down from Heaven on Gunner Jr., and is thanking L. Ron Hubbard that he’s dead, that he’s not here to see his son and grandson become huge disappointments. Gunner attacks Storm and begins nailing him with rights until Storm “hits” a Last Call, in reality missing by about four feet. Storm then pulls out a pair of handcuffs and cuffs Gunner to the middle rope. He then grabs Gunner Sr. over the guardrail and forces him to his knees in front of Jr. Sr. is making a futile attempt to get his son out of the cuffs, and that’s when Storm breaks a beer bottle over the back of Sr.’s head. Man, that beer bottle must way 10 pounds, the way Sr. just got knocked out. At the same time, while Gunner Jr. is trying to look worried, he appears to be attempting to hide a smile.

Gail Kim is in the back and says she is the benchmark of the Knockouts division. She brought in Lei’D Tapa, and what happened? Tapa cost her the title, then cost her more matches. Tonight, they go one-on-one, and if Tapa can’t beat Kim, Kim is done with her, and Tapa is done with TNA.

We see the Bromans and DJ Z enter the building, talking about some club they went to. Jesse then tells DJ Z to find Sanada and Tigre Uno about their match tonight. Instead, they find Sanada and Uno, and Z spits some crap about ending the match early so they can get poontang. Z incorrectly translates everything Sanada and Uno are saying, and now all three of them are rambling on. They fist each other, then leave. I’m so glad that wasn’t a waste of time.

MATCH 2-If Lei’D Tapa loses, she leaves TNA: Lei’D Tapa vs. Gail Kim
Kim screams at Tapa, then tries a slap. Tapa grabs her wrist and brings her to her knees before throwing her into the corner. Kim then goes chest-first into the opposite set of buckles before receiving a Northern Lariat. Tapa hits a few headbutts, then misses a clothesline. Kim hits a few kicks and a couple of shoulders. Off a third rope bounce, Kim runs right into a tree slam. Tapa picks Kim up on her shoulders, and Kim twists herself into a Dragon Clutch. She brings Tapa to one knee, but she gets back up and snaps Kim off her back. Kim slumps to the corner, where she dodges a running boot. Kim begins kicking Tapa in the leg before hitting a leg stunner. Kim comes off the ropes and gets pancaked for her troubles. The fans do not give a single sh*t about Tapa as she gets a 2-count. Tapa goozles Kim, but Kim breaks it with more kicks before hitting a dropkick to the knee and a kick to the face. Kim hits a forearm and another kick in the corner. Tapa recovers and picks her up for the Godsmack. Kim escapes and kicks Tapa in the back of the leg before hitting Eat Defeat. Kim goes for the pin and gets 3.

WINNER: Gail Kim. Apparently, Tapa really is done with TNA. Glad TNA spent so much time building her up only to release her less than a year later. Granted, she’s still green as goose sh*t in the ring, but based on that, TNA shouldn’t have built her up in the first place.

MVP is up high in the backstage area with Willow. He has seen what Willow did to EC3 and Rockstar Spud, and if he agrees to replace EY tonight in the main event, he can get some revenge on Magnus as well. Willow says a bunch of stupid crap about the ills of the world, and he has no interest in playing games. Everyone has their issues, but none of those issues involve him. He’ll strike when it’s his time. This gimmick sucks so much.

Angelina Love comes out and says she hasn’t heard anything from Velvet Sky in a week and now she wants answers. Do they move forward together or separately? She then asks Sky to come out. Sky does, and TNA needs to maybe not have them come out to the exact same song. Sky tells Love this is hard for her. When she first came to TNA, Love was her mentor and taught her everything. In her first year, she wanted to go home, but Love wouldn’t let her. Love believed in her, and she’s grateful for that. However, there were also times Sky felt like she was subservient of Love, and Love was holding her back. Love calls that all “wrestler talk”. If she was looked at as the leader of the Beautiful People, it’s because she was the veteran, and she’s sorry. When she left, Sky accomplished a lot on her own. But they both know 1 is a lonely number, and they each need someone to watch their backs. She wants this to happen, she knows Sky does, and she knows the fans do as well. Sky calls her the big sister she never had, but after everything with Chris Sabin, she knows there are few people she can trust. In regards to Love, they’ve had their ups and downs…but the Beautiful People are back. They hug and celebrate for a moment, but then Love cuts off the music and says they are missing a third piece to this puzzle, that being Madison Rayne.

Rayne makes her way out, and Love says they’re on a role here. Rayne was part of the Beautiful People at one point, and Love wants to extend the offer to her as well. Rayne asks Love to repeat herself, and Love does, both times, showing no enthusiasm for Rayne. Rayne says Love is talking to her like she’s beneath Love, like she’s a lost little girl. Times have changed, and that’s not how things are anymore. Love makes a comment about paying dues, and Rayne asks if being treated like crap is paying dues. Her dues are paid, and she’s the Knockouts Champion now. So, while she appreciates the offer, she’s not interested. Ugh. On a close-up shot, she looks worse than ever. Same goes for Love.

AI is in the back with Magnus, asking if he’s concerned. He is, but Joe is more concerned about looking for a friend. Magnus doesn’t need a friend, because he’s got Abyss. Abyss reacts to the same thing everyone else does, and that’s money. Joe walks up and tells Magnus he’s tapping Magnus out and gets in his face. Al Snow enters and splits them up before they can come to blows.

MATCH 3-3-Way Match for the World Tag Team Championship: The Bromans (Champions, w/DJ Z) vs. World X-Division Champion Sanada and Tigre Uno vs. The Wolves (Eddie Edwards and Davey Richards)
Before the Wolves come out, E tells Sanada and Uno that they need to make this quick, so the challengers need to lay down for them. The challengers won’t do it, so Jesse starts screaming. Uno simply says “no”, and now the two teams are brawling. Sanada and Uno knock the champs to the floor, and the champs tell them they’re leaving. That’s when the Wolves come out. The champs try to run up the ramp, but the Wolves beat them up and throw them into a pair of baseball slides by Sanada and Uno. Commercials.

Back from the break, the Wolves are in control of E in the ring. They hit their drop toehold/dropkick combo, and now Sanada and Uno hit Jesse with a series of double teams, ending in a double seated dropkick. Now both challenging teams are brawling, with the Wolves in control of Sanada. Richards gets 2 off a jackknife and tags in Edwards. They take turns nailing Sanada with kicks and chops, but they are then tripped by Uno. Sanada takes them both out with a double dropkick, and Uno comes in with a cross-body to their backs. E tags himself in off Sanada and runs into an Edwards hiptoss. Richards tags in and nails a forearm in the corner. Edwards hits a back elbow, and the Wolves follow up a combination drop toehold/jumping elbow. Uno tags himself in off Richards, and hits a couple of chops. E comes back with some strikes and tags in Jesse. The champs hit a double pancake and a double knee strike in the corner. Jesse presses Uno over his head as E tags in. Jesse drops Uno in a Warrior Press, and E comes off the middle with a fist drop for 2. Uno comes back with a body scissors into a bulldog. Jesse and Sanada tag in. Sanada nails some elbows and a hurricanrana. He hits a front slam and goes up top for the moonsault, but stops when he sees Z taking pictures with the X title. Uno tags in, and Sanada floors Z with an axe handle from the top. In the ring, Uno hits a spinning headscissors into a dropkick to the back of Jesse. Richards tags in and Uno hits him with a springboard hurricanrana. Edwards comes in illegally, and the Wolves hit a combination powerbomb/backcracker. Richards goes for the pin, but Jesse breaks it up at 2. E is in as well, and Edwards throws him to the outside. Jesse gets dumped by Richards, and now Richards is heading up top for the double stomp. Edwards is up as well, and as the ref is checking on Sanada, the Bromans knock the Wolves off the ropes. The champs hit the Bro-Down on Uno and Jesse gets the 3.

WINNERS AND STILL CHAMPIONS: The Bromans.

We see the Beautiful People in their dressing room, and Angelina Love is upset about what Madison Rayne, especially because there was a lot of truth behind what Rayne said. She’s not that person anymore, and Velvet Sky suggests they talk one-on-one. Love decides to give it a go.

We get another video for “The King of the Night” Kenny King.

Love storms into Rayne’s locker room and wants to talk. Rayne says she already said everything she wanted to out in the ring, and Love says she didn’t. She knows sorry isn’t good enough, but when they first met, she was a different person and it was all about her. She can’t be blamed for that, since it’s every person for themselves. Rayne will give her that since she went through the same thing with Gail Kim. Rayne says she’ll think about it, hugs Love and starts to walk away. Love grabs her by the hair and slams her face-first into the wall before hitting a knee to the gut. Love tells her to never do that again, and as far as the Beautiful People go, it’s just her and Sky.

MVP approaches Samoa Joe in the back and asks if Joe wants to know who’s watching his back. He only has to look out for Magnus, and the guy who will be chained to Abyss is MVP is himself. Joe was right, and MVP wants to redeem himself. Given the circumstances, he’s forced to participate and lead by example like a good boss should. Joe needs to focus on the title, and MVP will take care of the rest.

We get a video for Knux, who is apparently still employed by TNA. Apparently, they’re going to try to push him, because it’s worked out so well for every other company he’s worked for. He rambles on about an ex-girlfriend, then talks about his family, who are literally carnies. His dad doesn’t agree with him wrestling, and they don’t talk as a result. To be continued…

We’re back to Bully Ray at Dixie Carter’s office. He storms in and lays into her, saying no one in the business likes her. Dixie has her back turned to him as he continues to tear her down. Dramatic music is playing the entire time, as you would expect. Ray says Dixie doesn’t like him because she can’t control him. She came to his home and tried to give him a lot of money to make sure Bobby Roode’s team won at Lockdown. When Mr. Anderson Mic Checked him into a casket, his career flashed before him. He didn’t want to go out like that and didn’t want to be remembered like that. After the day she showed up at his home and tried to control him, that moment solidified his decision at Lockdown. She doesn’t have his respect, fans’ respect…she’s nothing and a nobody in his industry, and he’ll be damned if he’s going to sit here and talk to the back of a chair any longer. Ray turns the chair around, and there’s no one there. Bobby Roode comes in and attacks him from behind. Ray’s face gets slammed into a wall and into the desk. Roode takes a framed Sacrifice poster off the wall and hits Ray across the back, then tells him he screwed the wrong man. Dixie didn’t invite Ray here today; Roode did. You don’t screw with Bobby Roode. Surprise!

We see Magnus with Abyss, and Abyss says he’s got something special for the main event. But it’s not for Magnus; it’s for Joe and MVP. Abyss then dumps a handful of thumbtacks on the floor and begins laughing.

Next week: Storm/Gunner 2-Unlocked! No, really. That’s how they’re promoting it.

MATCH 4-World Championship (MVP and Abyss are chained together at ringside): Samoa Joe (w/MVP) vs. Magnus (Champion, w/Abyss)
Magnus attacks Joe before the opening bell and begins assaulting him in the corner. Joe gets thrown face-first into the adjacent corner and Magnus hits a European uppercut. Joe comes back with snap jabs, a snapmare out of the corner, a double chop to the back, a kick to the chest and a jumping kneedrop. Magnus rolls to the floor. Magnus pulls Joe to the floor and rams him back-first into the apron. He follows up with a European uppercut and rolls Joe back into the ring. Magnus hits another uppercut and a chop in the corner. Joe comes back with more jabs, so Magnus rakes him in the eyes. He hits another chop, ducks a clothesline, ducks a back elbow, and gets hit with a second back elbow. Joe snaps off more jabs in the corner and sends Magnus across the ring. He hits a running hip bump and a jumping spin kick to the head. Commercials.

Back from the break, Magnus blocks a corner charge and comes off the middle. Joe hits him with an inverted atomic drop on the way down, but then gets nailed with a kitchen sink. Magnus hits a back suplex, and is now kicking Joe in the midsection. Joe comes back with a chop and more jabs, but Magnus recovers and hits a misdirection clothesline for 2. He drives his knee into Joe’s back and applies a rear chinlock. Joe fights out and hits a backhand before running into a high knee. Magnus applies a waistlock, and Joe elbows out. He hits another inverted atomic drop, a running boot and a running senton. Magnus gets to his feet and runs into a quick powerslam. Joe gets up slowly and misses a charge in the corner. He blocks one from Magnus and turns it into a standing uranage. Joe goes for the Kokina Clutch, but Magnus counters with a jawbreaker. The referee gets nailed in the process as well. Outside, Abyss nails MVP and grabs a bag of thumbtacks from under the ring. MVP nails him before he can do anything, throws the bag away and yanks Abyss into the steps. MVP unlocks the cuffs and throws the bag of tacks up the ramp. Abyss grabs a chair and nails MVP in the back twice. Joe sees it and goes for a suicide dive, but Abyss throws the chair into his face. Magnus comes off the top with a flying elbow as Brian Hebner recovers and counts 3.

WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: Magnus.

End of show.

Dustin Nichols is a freelance writer, and you can keep track of all of his work on his Facebook page, which can be found at www.facebook.com/DustinNicholsWriter. Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out his mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:

TNA Impact Wrestling Results & March 13 Recap

March 15, 2014 By: Category: WWE | Pro Wrestling

TNA Impact Wrestling starts off with EC3, Rockstar Spud, the Bromans and Zema Ion walking around in the back. EC3 is complaining that “aunt D” has lost everything, then says there’s one man to blame for all of this, that being Bobby Roode. Roode is in the back, and the group all begin yelling at him. He tells them to shut up and that they need to blame EC3′s aunt since her “insurance policy” is the one who screwed up everything. Since Dixie Carter isn’t here anymore, they can place the blame on Bully Ray, and as soon as he gets here tonight, they need to jump him and kick his ass.

MVP makes his way down to the ring as the new boss of wrestling operations in TNA. He says it gives him great pleasure to stand here and tell everyone that “Dixie Land” is officially closed. What a difference a week makes. Just a bit ago, he was a minority owner, and at Lockdown, he was part of the winning team. Now, it’s time to move on to better things. He then turns his attention to Bully Ray and says he won’t speak for Ray, but regardless of his past, he will be given a chance to compete on equal footing just like everyone else. Now, onto business. Now that he’s running things, what happens next? It’s the MVP principle: motivate, validate, participate. He will motivate talent, validate beefs in the ring, and if you’re out of the line, he will participate in disciplinary action. It’s just that simple. See, he’s a firm believer…

Magnus interrupts and makes his way down to the ring, still World Champion after Lockdown. He introduces himself, then says the MVP principle may be the most ridiculous thing he’s ever heard. MVP calls his title run ridiculous in response. Magnus mostly ignores this, then says while Dixie was wasting her time trying to keep control of wrestling operations and fumbling the ball, he was running with that ball, kicking it through the uprights and remaining YOUR World Champion.

The AV cuts out a bit, so I miss a bit, but I’m guessing nothing important was said. Anyway, before Magnus can go on much longer, Abyss comes out, and he appears to have stolen the Great Muta’s mask. Not really, but that’s what the new mask looks like. Magnus agrees with the “You sold out” chants that break out, because what you’re looking at is the monster, Abyss. But unlike the Jim Mitchells and Eric Youngs that have come before him, he doesn’t look at Abyss as a freak or sideshow; he’s only part monster. The rest is a machine, and that machine has received an upgrade courtesy of Magnus. He’s not only motivated by destruction; he’s also motivated by money. The World Champion has a bit of money with plenty to go around. That’s how it’s going to stay, and he & Abyss are a stronger force than MVP has ever dealt with. Money and power are what makes the world go ’round. MVP agrees with that point, but as he sees it, Magnus was having his ass kicked at Lockdown until miraculously Abyss was pulled out of his ass. MVP stops the conversation, saying someone is missing. He’s not concerned about Magnus’ monster. He’s not concerned about Magnus, either. He has to do what’s right, and that’s to make sure everyone gets their opportunities. So, he won’t say another word until the #1 contender comes out here, and that’s Samoa Joe.

Joe comes out, limping a bit and holding his ribs as a result of the attack by Abyss at Lockdown. MVP says Joe is out here, calm and collected because Joe believes in the MVP principle and knows MVP will do what is right going forward. For example, Magnus will defend the title against Joe next week. In addition to that, since Abyss pissed MVP off at Lockdown, he’s going to give Joe the opportunity to participate in a match right now against Abyss.

MATCH 1: Abyss vs. Samoa Joe
Joe immediately tackles Abyss and begins pelting him with right hands. Commercials.

Back from the break, Abyss is in control of Joe in the corner. He nails some shots to the gut, but Joe thumbs him in the eye before hitting some snap jabs. Abyss reverses a corner whip, misses a splash and gets hit with a spin kick to the head, knocking him to the mat. Joe lays in the Face Wash, but then gets caught with a knee to the gut as he comes off the ropes. Abyss chokes Joe over the middle rope, then rams him into the buckles. Abyss nails several more gut shots, knocking Joe down to his knees. Joe gets to his feet, and Abyss nails him with rights to the head. He hits a snapmare, then applies a neck vice. Joe elbows his way out and lays in some forearms until Abyss goozles him. Joe breaks it, nails a back elbow, an inverted atomic drop, a running boot and a running senton. Abyss comes back with a shot to the gut and some forearms to the back. Off the ropes, Joe snaps off a powerslam. Abyss pulls himself up to his feet in the corner, and Joe nails him with a Pepsi Max before calling for the Muscle Buster. He can’t get Abyss up, however. Abyss then misses a clothesline, and Joe comes off the middle rope. Abyss catches him in another goozle and hits a chokeslam. He drops down to the floor outside and pulls out Janice, which just happens to be under the ring. Back in, Abyss goes for a shot, but Eric Young shows up out of nowhere and nails Abyss with a seated missile dropkick, leading to the DQ.

WINNER VIA DISQUALIFICATION: Abyss. EY tries to continue the attack as Joe rolls to the floor, but gets nailed with a back elbow. He manages to come back with a dropkick that sends Abyss to the floor, and the two have a staredown.

JB is in the back, and he informs us he’s awaiting the arrival of Bully Ray. However, instead of Ray, the painted scarecrow herself, Angelina Love shows up.

After some commercials, JB is still standing by in the back. He’s interrupted by Willow, who is rambling in his obnoxious way.

MATCH 2: Brittany vs. Gail Kim (w/Lei’D Tapa)
Brittany is an indy wrestler formerly known as Santana Garrett. We get a quick video package before the match starts, and it’s pretty much a fluff piece. Kim lands a running boot right away, then throws Brittany to the corner for some kicks. Brittany comes back with forearms, but then misses a clothesline. Kim hits a quick backbreaker after ducking, then throws Brittany to the corner. She hits a shoulder thrust, then hits a reverse fireman’s carry front slam. Brittany hits a few more forearms, but then gets kicked in the leg and slammed face-first into the mat. Kim picks her up once again, but Brittany reverses into a side-Russian legsweep. She nails some more shots int he corner, and that’s when Tapa enters the ring. She tries to nail Brittany from behind, but Brittany sees it coming, causing Tapa to avalanche Kim. Brittany shoves Kim into Tapa. Brittany holds on and rolls Kim up for 3.

WINNER: Brittany.

After the match, Kim shoves Tapa, and Tapa reciprocates, knocking Kim on her ass. Kim slaps Tapa, so Tapa grabs her by the throat before slamming her down to the mat. Tapa nails some rights, then knocks down the ref before attacking Kim some more. Two more refs come down as Kim rolls to the floor.

Rockstar Spud runs into Bully Ray in the back, telling him that he’ll pay tonight. Seconds later, Dixie’s entourage attack Ray. Ray gets quadruple-teamed as Spud continues screaming. EC3 tells him he embarrassed the Carter family, then nails him one more time. Spud begins choking him with the chain, and that’s when Bobby Roode comes in. He tells Ray he screwed Roode, and now he’ll find out it pays to be Roode. Roode tells the entourage to hold him, then grabs what looks like a plastic table and hits him over the head.

DJ Z (ugh) does a dumbass introduction for the Bromans.

MATCH 3: World Tag Team Champions the Bromans (Jesse and Robbie E, w/DJ Z) vs. World X-Division Champion Sanada and Tigre Uno (non-title)
We get some video of Sanada and the Great Muta together. Basically, Muta says Sanada will be a star outside of Japan now, and he can bring the quality of puroresu to the US. It will be difficult, but everyone in Japan supports him. Sanada and Jesse start the match with a lock-up. Jesse hits a bodyslam and a dropkick. E tags in, and Sanada applies an arm wringer. Uno tags in, hits a kick and a chop. E comes back with a short-arm clothesline and tags in Jesse. Jesse presses Uno over his head as E tags back in. Jesse drops Uno face-first, and E hits an elbow. Jesse tags back in and sends Uno into the ropes. Sanada makes a blind tag as Uno comes down off a pancake attempt with a dropkick on E. Sanada and Uno hit a serious of double-team moves on E, then hit a double suplex on Jesse onto E. Uno goes for a suicide dive, but the Bromans see it coming. Sanada then wipes them out with a somersault plancha from the apron, gets in the ring and backdrops Uno onto the champs from inside the ring. Sanada rolls the champs back into the ring, and he & Uno hit a pair of missile dropkicks. Uno takes Jesse to the floor, and Sanada hits a moonsault on E for 3.

WINNER: Sanada and Tigre Uno.

We see Bully Ray in the back, recovering.

Madison Rayne and Velvet Sky are in their dressing room, and Sky is complimenting Rayne on her win at Lockdown. Rayne mentions Angelina Love, saying she’s back. Apparently, Sky knows nothing about it.

The Bromans and Z are in their locker room, throwing a fit about losing. Bully Ray enters the room and assaults the champions with a chair. He then gives Z a wedgie before throwing him into some lockers.

Samuel Shaw is thanking someone off-camera for their support. He says he’s an artist, and when this person interjected themselves in the match, he was inspired. Turns out it’s Christy Hemme, and he wants her to come out and watch him end Mr. Anderson once and for all. Then, the world will see the true meaning of their relationship. He then spots the camera man and chases him off.

We see Willow in the rafters somewhere.

Spud and EC3 are together in the back, and they’re apparently going to pay tribute to Dixie Carter. Spud then hands him a sign that he’s apparently prepared for the occasion.

Samoa Joe is in the back somewhere, looking for Eric Young. He finds him in a hallway and says he understands EY has history with Abyss, but his revenge is crossing into Joe’s business. Joe has his own problems, and he understands EY has a good heart, so he’s getting a free pass. If EY does it again, however, Joe will make him sorry. EY says this is his problem, and he needs to fix it no matter what. Joe tells him to have at it. EY says he’s already got it, because he’s going to be chained to Abyss during Joe’s rematch with Magnus.

Spud and EC3 come out, and the big thing I though was a sign is in fact a giant portrait of Dixie. They prop it up on an easel that has been set up in the ring. Spud pets it, then says we are here to mourn the loss of Dixie losing wrestling operations to MVP. Today, himself, EC3, the fans at home and those in the building are collectively in mourning because wrestling operations is now in control by an ex-convict. EC3 gets on the crowd for the “boring” chant. Back to Spud, he says tonight is not about MVP. Tonight is about his queen. It’s about how she made the fans feel, as well as EC3 and himself. That woman picked him up from obscurity. Like Mary and the baby Jesus, she cradled Spud in her arms. She made him into a man, the great big man he is today. He has a tribute prepared for her this evening, and he’d just like to say thank you, Dixie. This cuts over to a video about how wonderful Dixie is, leading up to Lockdown. Back to Spud, he says sometimes a video isn’t enough. He has prepared a reading as well as the camera nonsensically spins to somewhere in the crowd. Back to the ring, Spud recites a poem about Dixie.

Before he can finish, MVP comes out. He says this needs to stop right now. He didn’t approve this, and this ridiculousness is over. Dixie has gone home to Tennessee and she’s not coming back. He says Spud has grown on him like a fungus over these last weeks and has to commend Spud on his loyalty. As a matter of fact, he needs men like Spud on his roster. If Spud could be loyal to her, he could be loyal to MVP and the company. He then says they don’t need a chief-of-staff, and Spud needs to fulfill his contract as a wrestler. Spud says everyone is bigger than him, including some of the knockouts. MVP says the roster doesn’t have his heart. He has the heart of a lion. Spud gets all fired up and says he wants to fight tonight. MVP tells Spud he’ll have a match against someone making his debut tonight, Willow. EC3 begins laughing, and MVP says he shouldn’t be laughing, because next week, EC3 will face Bobby Lashley. Lashley then makes his way out, and EC3 says that won’t be happening because Lashley isn’t on the roster, so MVP cannot motivate him to compete against Lashley. MVP says that’s a valid point and makes a lot of sense. So, as his first act as the new DOO, he signed Lashley to a contract. Spud gets in Lashley’s face and begins screaming at him. Lashley grabs the Dixie portrait and beats Spud across the head with it. Spud cradles it in his arms and pets it. Lashley and EC3 then have a stare-down, but MVP steps in before Lashley can go any further. EC3 bails at the same time and heads to the back.

JB is still in the back and he stops EC3 on his way to the back. EC3 says he’s going to do the same thing to Lashley that he did to Angle. Out of nowhere, Bully Ray runs in and lays him out with a clothesline. Ray then grabs a metal sign and slams it down on EC3 after hitting him a few more times.

MATCH 4-Street Fight: Samuel Shaw vs. Mr. Anderson
Shaw comes out, then heads to the back. He comes out, carrying half a mannequin that dressed up to look like Christy Hemme. Apparently, this is the “Christy” he was talking to off-camera earlier. Shaw kisses the mannequin and begins petting it at Anderson’s music hits. As Anderson is going to do his intro, Shaw appears on the side of the stage and nails Anderson. The bell rings as Shaw throws Anderson down the ramp. He nails Anderson in the gut, then hits a straight right. Anderson begins to fight back with rights. He slams Shaw face-first into the apron, but then gets whipped into the steps. Shaw rolls in to look at “Christy”, then rolls back out to slam Anderson face-first into the apron. He nails a right, slams Anderson once more, then rams him back-first into the apron. Shaw nails more rights, and now Anderson is fighting back with kicks and punches. He goes for a suplex on the floor, but Shaw reverses it and hits one of his own. Anderson blocks another face slam and does it to Shaw before rolling him into the ring. Shaw gets to his feet and nails a kneelift. Anderson comes back with more punches, and now they are trading blows. Shaw goes to the throat, but then gets hit with a clothesline. Anderson hits more rights, a back elbow and a swinging neckbreaker. He hits a rolling fireman’s carry slam, and now Shaw is begging off in the corner. Anderson looks at “Christy” and grabs it by the head as Shaw begs for him to leave it alone. Anderson picks it up and goes for a kiss. He then throws it at Shaw and hits the Mic Check for 3.

WINNER: Mr. Anderson. Was the street fight stipulation really necessary? Anderson announces himself as the winner as I try not to put my fist through my computer monitor.

AI is in the back with Angelina Love. He asks why she’s back, and she says there’s one reason and one person. We’ll find that info out shortly.

I really don’t get why Jeff Hardy has dusted off the Willow gimmick, especially when the commentators are outright admitting that it’s Hardy under a mask.

We get another promo for “The King of the Night” Kenny King.

Angelina Love comes out, looking scrawnier than ever. She says there were times when she never thought she’d hear that music again, but it’s great to be back home in TNA. Since her departure a couple of years ago, her life has changed a lot, and she’s grown wiser. As a young girl in Canada, her dad used to tell her that you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. She never understood that until she left TNA. She never realized how much she missed the fans and standing in the ring. She feels that her dad’s words were deeper, meaning friendships, relationships and sisterhood, so with that being said, Velvet Sky, come down to the ring, please.

Sky heads out, and the two hug. Love says she can’t change the past, and there were so many things she wanted to say to Sky before she left, but she didn’t. She doesn’t know what it was, but being a part from Sky for the last two years, she realized she never would have been as successful without Sky. Angel Williams struggled in wrestling, and it wasn’t until Angelina Love was born and she teamed with Sky that they created a very special union in this industry, and that union of course is the Beautiful People. Every day, everywhere she goes, people ask when the Beautiful People are getting back together. She thinks it’s now time to put the “girl band” back together. Sky says she was caught off-guard by this, and she didn’t expect Love to show up tonight. A lot has changed since Love has been gone. During that time, she was finally able to find herself in wrestling. Most notably, she captured the Knockouts title for the first time. Now that that’s all behind her, she’s ready to move on. What’s she’s saying is there will never be a bond as strong as the BP had, and she’s ready to move on. Love says you have to take a step backward to move forward, and she thinks there’s a lot that the BP can still accomplish. They were good, and now they can be great. Sky hears what Love is saying, but she needs more time to think about this. She hugs Love and walks away.

Bully Ray is stalking around in the back.

MATCH 5: Rockstar Spud vs. Willow
Willow chases Spud into the ring and rams him back-first into the corner. Okay, before I get any further, let me just say that this Willow gimmick is even more pointless when Hardy couldn’t even be bothered to have new gear commissioned for it. Anyway, Willow chokes Spud in the corner, then sends him face-first across the ring into the buckles. Willow boots Spud, whips him across the ring and misses a splash. Spud hits a couple of forearms to the back and applies a side headlock. Willow counters with a back suplex. Spud pulls himself up in the corner, and Willow hits a handspring clothesline. Spud rakes the eyes, then climbs to the top. Willow crotches him and drops him down into the tree of woe. Willow hits a couple of kicks, then foot-chokes Spud while he remains upside-down. Willow drops to the floor and grabs his umbrella, that he smashes into Spud’s nuts, leading to the DQ.

WINNER VIA DISQUALIFICATION: Rockstar Spud. So, that’s the second DQ for the night. And with a g*ddamn umbrella, no less. Willow continues the attack until the ref pulls him off. Willow lays the ref out with a Twist of Fate (can’t bother to come up with a different finisher, either, apparently). Willow goes outside and slides a ladder into the ring before tossing a chair in as well. He sets the ladder up, then drags Spud back into the ring as he tries to escape. Willow hits a sit-out gourdbuster, puts Spud’s ankle in the chair, then Pillmanizes him by stomping on the chair. Willow stomps him in the face, then climbs to the top of the ladder, where he hits a splash to the trapped leg.

As Hardy…err, Willow is headed to the back, Bully Ray makes his way out. They have a brief stare-down before going their separate ways. Ray gets on the mic as the fans chant for him. He says he never thought he’d hear the Impact Zone chanting his name. They say when you die, your life flashes before you. When Ken Anderson Mic Checked him into the casket, his career flashed before his face. He came out here with the full intention of telling everyone why he did what he did. But from the minute he got here tonight, Bobby Roode and Dixie’s entourage made this physical. Ray tried to save Roode from himself. If he had won that match, he would have taken control of the company and turned into another Dixie Carter. Everyone knows the last thing the wrestling business needs is another Dixie Carter. He doesn’t want to talk anymore. He’s taken out all of Roode’s cronies, and now he wants to do what he does best: he wants to fight Roode right now.

Roode comes out and he charges the ring. The two trade punches until Ray hits the Flip, Flop and Fly. He heads outside and grabs a table, sliding it into the ring. Roode is still out, so apparently Ray’s elbow is now made of steel. Ray sets the table up as Roode finally gets to his feet. Ray turns around and gets hit with a spinebuster. Roode now signals that he’s going to put Ray through the table. He picks Ray up for the Roode Bomb, but Ray escapes and hits the Bully Cutter. Ray sets Roode up and powerbombs him through the table.

End of show.

Dustin Nichols is a freelance writer, and you can keep track of all of his work on his Facebook page, which can be found at www.facebook.com/DustinNicholsWriter. Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out his mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:

TNA Impact Wrestling Results & March 6 Recap

March 08, 2014 By: Category: WWE | Pro Wrestling

Team Roode (with Zema Ion, minus Austin Aries) make their way out, and the Bromans apparently regained the World Tag Team titles at an event in Japan. Bobby Roode says that, in 3 days, you’re looking at the man who will own 10% of TNA. In 3 days at Lockdown, this company will change. It will be run the Roode way. The only thing standing in his way is MVP.

Austin Aries’ music hits, and he tells Roode to not get ahead of himself. When he makes the kind of decision he did last week, you know it’s well thought out because it’s in Aries’ best interest. Roode may have beaten MVP last week, but everyone knows it’s because Aries helped him. 10% isn’t a big piece of the pie, but it’s a piece he wants his hands on. Roode says he told Aries last week that rule #1 is win the match. After that, they can talk business. Aries doesn’t like that and says they are going to talk business right now. He’ll never work under Roode, so he wants to split that 10% 50/50. Robbie E interjects and says Roode is the IT Factor, but come Lockdown, the Bromans will be the deciding factors. Jesse says that, when the confetti falls, both of the Bromans are going to want a piece of the pie as well. Roode says he’s the guy who came to them. He’s the captain of the team, and he calls the shots. The fact is, at Lockdown, rule #1 is winning the match. Aries says Roode doesn’t have to worry about that. When he joined the team, he changed the game. He’s a difference maker, and as he looks at the roster, there’s no one that measures up to his greatness that will help MVP at Lockdown.

MVP, flanked by the Wolves, make their way out now. MVP says Aries is right. He made a bad decision trusting Aries to call that match down the middle. But, he gives chances because he’s been given them. Fool him once, shame on you. Now, with TNA on the line, he had to do some digging to find a partner, and he’s made his decision. The man who will join him at….

Dixie Carter now comes out. I hate this woman. I hate everything about her. Everything. She steps up to MVP and says his decision won’t matter anyway. She doesn’t care who his fourth man is, because she spent all last week in New York, securing the victory for Team Roode. MVP doesn’t know her very well, and she hopes that part never changes. But, if you were to ask someone who knows and loves her, they’d tell you TNA means more to her than anything, and she’ll stop at nothing to keep complete control of it. MVP understands that, but doesn’t she at least want to know who his fourth man is? Dixie says unless he can part the Red Sea, she doesn’t care. MVP says the man is a former World Champion and a good friend of is. That man is Jeff Hardy. Dixie says Hardy is under a TNA contract, and when he walked out, she suspended that contract. MVP disagrees because, when they win at Lockdown, Hardy’s contract will be unfrozen. Dixie says over her dead body. MVP makes a funeral joke. Roode calls him a sonofabitch and says it doesn’t matter who his partner is, because he’s looking at the guy who will be 10% owner of the company. MVP slugs him, and a brawl between the two teams breaks out.

MATCH 1-6-Man Tag Team Elimination Match; the winners get the man advantage in Lethal Lockdown: World X-Division Champion Austin Aries, World Tag Team Co-Champion Robbie E and Bobby Roode (w/Jesse & Zema Ion) vs. MVP and the Wolves (Eddie Edwards and Davey Richards)
E and Edwards have officially started the match after some commercials. E is hitting some shoulder thrusts in the corner and snaps the arm. Roode tags in and boots Edwards in the corner before hitting a suplex for 1. Aries tags in and hits an elbow off the top for 2 before applying a front chancery. E tags in and nails Edwards across the back, then sends him into the ropes for a back elbow for 2. Edwards comes back with a chop, but then gets caught in a back suplex. He flips out and tags in MVP, who nails some rights before hitting a pancake. MVP nails the Drive-By Kick and gets 3.

Robbie E is eliminated.

Roode comes in and nails MVP in the back with punches and kicks. MVP comes back with a back elbow, then tags in Richards.Richards hits a couple of shots before tagging in Edwards, and the Wolves hit a drop toe-hold/seated dropkick combo for 2. Roode comes back with a kneelift and a back elbow for tagging in Aries, who knocks MVP and Richards off the apron. Edwards gets sent to the corner, and Aries tries to whip Roode into him. Edwards avoids contact, knocks down Aries and runs into a Roode boot. He comes back with a kick and goes for the backpack stunner, but Aries nails him with a running corner dropkick. Aries follows up with the brainbuster and gets 3.

Eddie Edwards is eliminated.

Richards comes in for his team and the two trade forearm shots to the face. They turn the exchange to chops and kicks until Richards hits a version of the Tidal Crush. Aries recovers and nails a rolling elbow. Roode and MVP tag in and shove each other before trading punches. MVP no-sells a clothesline, and Roode does the same. They trade more forearms until MVP knocks him down with a clothesline for 2 as Aries breaks up the pin. MVP goes after him, and Roode hits MVP with a Northern Lariat. He rolls up MVP and gets his feet on the ropes. Aries holds Roode’s feet down, and Roode gets 3.

MVP is eliminated.

Richards is the last man for his team, and he squares off with Roode. Roode hits a kneelift and a forearm to the back before booting him in the face. Roode foot-chokes him in the corner, then locks in a front chanery. Aries tags in and nails Richards with a boot before sending him into the corner for a running back elbow and a running sit-out ace crusher for 2. Roode tags in and hits a backbreaker for another 2. Roode throws Richards to the floor and distracts the referee, allowing Aries to hit a double axe handle from the top to the floor. He rolls Richards in, and Roode gets 2. Aries tags in, and they hit combination catapult/corkscrew splash for 2. Roode tags back in, and Richards sends Aries into Roode, then dropkicks Roode, causing him to DDT Aries in the process. Richards nails a running kick in the corner, then goes up top. He misses the double stomp, but rolls through. Roode turns around and picks him up for the Roode Bomb. Richards escapes and tries to roll Roode up for a pin. Roode hangs onto the ropes, Richards rolls through anyway, then applies a rolling half-crab. Aries comes in and nails Richards with several chair shots, leading to the DQ.

Austin Aries is eliminated.

Aries continues the attack with the chair, targeting Richards’ shoulder. Roode eventually gets him to leave, then continues the match. He signals for the Roode Bomb, but Edwards comes back down to check on Richards, along with a couple of referees to make sure Richards can continue. Roode drops to the floor as MVP also hits the ring. Commercials.

Back from the break, we see the Edwards and MVP helping Richards to the back during the break. So…Roode’s team wins? Who the hell knows?

WINNERS: Huh?

A trainer is checking on Richards, and MVP walks in with Earl Hebner. Hebner is giving them one hour to finish the match, and if Richards can’t do that, they forfeit the match.

We get a recap for Samuel Shaw’s entire story. Happy, happy, joy, joy. This cuts over to Shaw, who is sitting on some steps, with what looks like a coffee in his hand. He says that, last week, when Christy Hemme slapped him int he face, she created something beautiful. She showed extraordinary passion, and he can’t wait to create something beautiful when he goes to the ring in one minute.

Shaw comes out, and his cup is apparently full of tea. He sees Hemme’s empty chair, then puts his cup down before putting on his gloves for a match. He has a new entrance theme, and it’s just as generic as the last one.

Before his opponent comes out, Mr. Anderson comes out instead. He says he regrets to inform the crowd that Hemme will be nowhere near this match because of Shaw. However, playing the part of Hemme…is Anderson. F*CK. He introduces Shaw as “Creepy Bastard”. That’s so clever of him. And his opponent is Eric Young.

MATCH 2: Samuel Shaw vs. Eric Young
Shaw points at Anderson, allowing EY to roll him up for 1. EY hits a jawbreaker, then mounts the corner for some punches. Shaw smiles while adjusting his jaw and hits EY in the throat. He boots EY in the corner, then chokes him for a 4-count. He chokes EY again in the adjacent corner, then does it again. Shaw points at Anderson once more, then turns around into a series of rights by EY. Shaw reverses a corner whip, and EY does the Flair Flip before hitting a shoulder through the ropes, ducking under Shaw, avoiding a clothesline and hitting one of his own. He nails a belly-to-belly for 2, and Shaw drops to the floor. EY goes after him, and Shaw throws the tea in his face before throwing EY into Anderson. Shaw locks in the kata gatame and the bell rings.

WINNER VIA DISQUALIFICATION: Um…Eric Young? I think? Ah, this is fun. Shaw continues choking Anderson until he apparently knocks him out. Shaw then grabs a mic and tells Anderson he’s now going back to claim what’s rightfully his.

We Hemme watching this from the back, and she immediately runs…off-camera a couple of steps away.

We see MVP with the Wolves in the back. He tells the trainer to take good care of Richards, then says he’s going to go take care of this.

MVP is in the back, looking everywhere for Austin Aries. He finds Aries with the Elite Beat Agents and begins screaming at him. MVP says he sees what time it is now as the Agents hold him back, then tells Aries he has no character before leaving. Well, that was pointless.

We see Dixie talking to AI when EC3 interrupts. He asks if she’s okay, then offers up his help. She tells him to beat up Kurt Angle on Sunday. EC3 says he knows Angle is a liar, and he will take Angle out at Lockdown. He then mentions MVP taking over, and Dixie says that won’t happen. She’s given 12 years to this company, and MVP is going to rue the day he invested one dime in this company (just like everyone else who has ever invested in TNA. Right, Dixie?).

We see Samuel Shaw in the back, looking for Christy Hemme.

The search continues as we see Shaw enter the women’s dressing room. Hemme is nowhere to be found, and when Shaw comes out of the bathroom, we see Velvet Sky cover up herself because she’s wearing a bra, and that’s so much less clothing than what she wears to the ring. Shaw asks where Hemme is, then does it again. Sky says she’s in the makeup room. Shaw thanks her and leaves.

EC3 comes down to the ring, stomping all over the place. He then says last week, Angle suckerpunched him. You don’t suckerpunch a Carter. Ever. Little known fact, he always looked up to Angle growing up. Angle is the reason he became a wrestler. But, the old saying goes never meet your heroes, because they’ll suckerpunch you in the face. In 3 days, they have a cage match, and Angle is excited because he can use it as a weapon since he fears EC3′s submission wrestling. Angle has the ankle lock, but EC3 has something more. Something bigger, He has…a leglock. That’s right, and he’s going to wrap that on there and tear up the ligaments in Angle’s knee. He can tear the whole leg down. He knows Angle has seen what he’s capable of. He’s accepted and defeated every challenge in TNA. He beat Sting and became the new icon of wrestling. This Sunday at Lockdown, he’ll beat Angle and become the new face of American wrestling. After this Sunday, he will officially be dubbed “The American Icon”.

Angle comes out, looking like he’s about to cry. Why does his face always look like that? He asks if EC3 just called himself an American icon. He’s not an American icon; he’s an American asshole. We’re 3 days away from Lockdown, 3 days away from Angle ending EC3′s short, pitiful career. Then again, Angle doesn’t want to wait 3 days. He hobbles into the ring, and EC3 immediately rolls out and heads to the back. Angle then panders to the crowd. Great segment there, let me tell you.

EC3 then comes back out as Angle is celebrating with the fans, nailing Angle in the leg. Angle hobbles off a throw attempt, and EC3 hits a chopblock. Pretty sure that spot got screwed up. EC3 rolls him into the ring and hits a dropkick to the knee, causing Angle to forget which way to fall. EC3 nails a couple of elbows to the leg and applies the spinning legbar. A couple of referees come out pull the two apart as EC3 screams he heard it pop. EC3 sits down and looks at Angle.

MVP is in the back with the Wolves again. He tells them how bad they are, and how high the stakes are tonight. He believes in Richards, and needs Richards to show his strong-style. They need this. Richards recalls a moment they had in Japan where MVP told him to stand out from the crowd. His arm’s hurt, but he’s breathing.

Seriously, does everything have to look/sound awkward tonight? Is that a requirement for this episode?

We see Chris Sabin, Gail Kim, Lei’D Tapa and the Alpha Female heading to the ring. ODB, Madison Rayne and Velvet Sky are doing the same thing from a different part of the backstage area.

We get a video for “The King of the Night”, Kenny King. Apparently, he still works here. Basically, the video is him acting like a player in Las Vegas. That’s pretty much it.

MATCH 3: The Alpha Female, Gail Kim and Lei’D Tapa (w/Chris Sabin) vs. Velvet Sky, ODB and Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne
Rayne attacks Kim from behind, making them the starters of this match. Rayne backs Kim into the corner, then hits a modified northern lights suplex. Tapa grabs Rayne by the hair, allowing Kim to nail her with a dropkick. In the corner, Kim misses a splash. ODB tags in and hits a clothesline, followed by an avalanche and a bronco buster. ODB stacks her up for 2, then nails Tapa and Female. Kim recovers and nails a clothesline. Tapa tags in and hits an over-the-shoulder backbreaker. She pulls ODB up by the hair, then sends her to the corner. Tapa hits a corner clothesline, then steps on ODB’s hair while yanking her up by the arms. ODB nails some forearms to the gut, then hits a couple chops to the chest. She ducks a clothesline and tags in Sky. Female also tags in, no-sells a couple of clotheslines, then gets hit with a boot and a running neckbreaker for 2. Kim breaks up the pin, and Rayne tackles her. Kim rolls to the floor, and Tapa sends Rayne flying as well. ODB jumps on Tapa’s back, then gets dumped to the floor. Tapa heads out as well, and Rayne fights her off. Sabin enters the ring, with a chain wrapped around his fist. He repeatedly calls Sky stupid until she slaps him. Sabin charges at her and gets low-bridged to the floor. Female is back in, and she goes for the full-nelson. Sky escapes, kicks her in the face and hits In Yo Face for 3.

WINNERS: ODB, Madison Rayne and Velvet Sky. Way to stop Female from looking dominant in a matter of weeks, TNA.

Samuel Shaw stops a guy on his phone, asking where the makeup room is. The guy points him in the direction of the room. God, this is so riveting!

We get a video for Willow. So, is he going to work as both this stupid gimmick and as himself now? Is anyone stupid enough to fall for it if that’s what happens?

Shaw finally finds the makeup room and peeks in, where he thinks he sees Hemme. He puts on his gloves and approaches her. The person stands up, and it’s Anderson in a red wig. He slugs Shaw, and they brawl as the door clothes. Anderson reopens it and leans Shaw onto the door before drawing on his face with lipstick. Shaw then gets thrown into a wall. Anderson says if Shaw doesn’t leave her alone, he’s gonna be in a bad way. As Anderson leaves, Shaw rolls onto his stomach, laughs, says he’ll see them both Sunday and smells the wig.

Gunner comes down to the ring. He says the past few weeks have seen a lot of change in his life. He lives by a simple code. He takes each day as it comes and does the best he can. He’s worked for everything he has. When he won Feast or Fired, things changed. James Storm got jealous, and some rage came out he had never seen before. Then, Storm stabbed him in the back. Last week, they started a fight, and Storm ran like the coward he is. At Lockdown, they are in a cage. When you put Gunner in a cage, he gets PTSD and becomes a different man. That cage will be their battlefield.

Axl Storm now comes out. Or is he James Angel? Storm says Gunner takes his Marine Corps code seriously. To him, it sounds like an excuse, like how he could be World Champion if it weren’t for Storm. Then, he’ll tell stories about how he beat up Storm in a London street fight, but we all know how that went. So, come Sunday, Gunner needs to pack a lunch, because it will be an all-day ass-whipping. Gunner says that’s fine. He wants Storm in a cage and wants a fight. He’s got something to prove to everyone, and that’s he’s the toughest man in their former tag team. As for Storm, if he’s so tough, why don’t they make it Last Man Standing as well? Storm screams about his manhood, then says that out of the two of them, he’s the man. He’s been the World Champion, something Gunner will never be. At Lockdown, Gunner needs to pray to his god because Storm will cut him down. Storm then nails a knee to the gut. Storm then hits a Last Call that makes Alberto Del Rio’s telegraphed thrust kick look devastating by comparison.

Bobby Roode is in the back with Brian Hebner, trying to find out what’s going on. It’s been an hour, and he wants an answer.

We see Richards being taped up by MVP.

Roode comes out and says it’s been an hour. Richards has had one hour. It’s obvious he’s too injured to continue the match, so Roode demands Brian Hebner ring the bell and start the 10-count.

MATCH 4 (Continuation from the opening contest): Bobby Roode vs. Davey Richards
Hebner begins the 10-count and gets to 8. Hebner then just stops counting because the Wolves’ music hits. That makes sense. Richards comes out, accompanied by MVP and Edwards, who then stay at the top of the ramp. Pretty sure it took more than 2 seconds for him to get down to the ring. The bell rings again, and Roode immediately attacks Richards in the corner, where he wraps the bad arm around the ring post. Back in the ring, Roode continues the attack, applying an arm wringer. Richards fights back until Roode clubs him in the arm. He follows up with a jumping kneedrop to the shoulder. Roode hotshots the arm across the top rope from the outside, then slides back in. He rips the tape of Richards’ shoulder and stomps him once more. He then misses another jumping knee, this time out of the corner. Richards pulls himself back up and blocks a charge in the corner. He goes up to the outside to climb up, but can’t do it. Roode meets him on the apron for a piledriver, but Richards escapes and snaps Roode’s leg through the ropes. Back in, Richards nails some rights, dodges a clothesline and hits an enziguri. Richards then low-bridges Roode to the floor as Mike Tenay tastelessly segues “Shooter” Billy Robinson’s death into making sure fans know that Bellator MMA is on tomorrow. F*ck you, Tenay. Back to the match, Richards nails a suicide dive, then throws Roode back into the ring. He climbs to the top and hits a seated missile dropkick for 2. Richards tries to be Daniel Bryan by hitting some kicks to the chest and looks for the Buzzsaw. Roode ducks and picks Richards up for the Roode Bomb. Richards escapes and rolls Roode up in a sunset flip for 2, then tries for the half-crab once more, locking it in. I refuse to call it an Achilles Lock, since that’s not what it is. Roode rolls to his back and kicks Richards in the shoulder, breaking the hold. In the corner, Richards charges at Roode, but Roode sidesteps him and sends him shoulder-first into the ring post. Roode hits the Roode Bomb, then locks in the Bowflex for the submission win.

WINNER: Bobby Roode. Team Roode, now has the man advantage in Lethal Lockdown. Roode breaks the hold and applies a fujiwara, but breaks it quickly when MVP and Eddie Edwards hit the ring.

We get another video for Tiger Uno. This is about the laziest name change I’ve seen since Brother Ray and later Bully Ray.

Dixie Carter is in her dressing room. Magnus enters and says he just talked to EC3, who says Lethal Lockdown is all sewn up. She says you bet, because no one is taking control of the company. Magnus says that’s great, but what about the bigger picture? He’s referring to himself, and asks what the strategy for his match is. She says the strategy is that he needs to back up his mouth and beat Samoa Joe on Sunday. Magnus asks if she’s serious. She is. As a heart attack.

Top-to-bottom, this could be one of the worst Lockdown cards in years. The Bromans are in the main event, for Hubbard’s sake.

Samoa Joe comes out, and he immediately screams at Magnus. If Magnus has one shred of courage left, he’ll walk down here and face Joe in front of Magnus’ countrymen and hear what Joe has to say.

Magnus comes out and tells Joe he should just know better. Joe should know better than to say that to Magnus or question who he is because Joe knows him better than anyone. Joe stood side-by-side with him. In fact, it was in this building in a defining moment in Magnus’ career. Joe was right there. They won championships in Japan and TNA. Then Joe turned on him. Then came the BFG Series, and the spotlight was on him. Then, look who wants to be partners again, this time in the MEM? What a joke. Then, the moment they dissolved, Magnus became the World Champion, and Joe can’t stand it. It makes him so angry. It fills him with rage, and that rage will be Joe’s undoing. Magnus has a healthy fear of Joe. Joe is a bad, bad man and he’s been the champion before. He knows, because he looked up to Joe. But, how many times has Joe had to be the top man and blow it because of the rage? Joe can’t control the rage, and that makes him vulnerable. That vulnerability makes him weak, and that weakness is what Magnus will take advantage of. That is the reason why at Lockdown he will walk into the cage, then walk out still champion. Joe says everything Magnus just said is absolutely true, except his perception is skewed. Yes, Joe has a rage problem…

The show then cuts to footage of animals. Uh…

End of show?

Dustin Nichols is a freelance writer, and you can keep track of all of his work on his Facebook page, which can be found at www.facebook.com/DustinNicholsWriter. Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out his mom’s official site by clicking the banner below: