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WWE SmackDown Results March 22 and Recap

March 24, 2013 By: Category: WWE | Pro Wrestling

On this week’s episode of WWE Friday Night SmackDown, we’re in Cincinnati, OH, and the show is opening with the hometown boy, The Miz, for another edition of MizTV. In the ring with him are Randy Orton and Sheamus. He says their world has been turned upside-down. Ryback is no longer their partner at WM29 per orders of Vicki Guerrero and Teddy Long. Orton starts and says that in his opinion, the man to replace Ryback will be The Big Show. Sheamus admits if Show didn’t come down on Monday night, they would have had their arses handed to them. However, he doesn’t trust Show.

Orton doesn’t either, but you have to do what you can to survive. Show needs them as much as they need him, and come WM29, he wants the big, bad, angry giant on his side. Miz then welcomes Show out to answer for himself. Miz thinks Show can agree with Orton’s mistrust, especially since they used to be partners, and Show ended the partnership by knocking Miz out. Show says Miz’s opinion doesn’t matter to him. As far as Orton and Sheamus are concerned, he’s done something they couldn’t, and that’s knock out a member of The Shield. He can’t stand Orton and Sheamus, but if they work together, no one can stop them. Sheamus says they’ve been to war with each other, and there’s no doubt Show is one of the toughest opponents he’s ever faced, but he’s also one of the most devious. How does he know Show won’t leave them hanging? Show says that, if he were a coward, he wouldn’t have beaten Sheamus for the title. Orton interjects and says they need to work together and get along. Miz makes fun of Orton for being the voice of reason for this group. Show starts to tell Sheamus this will work when Booker T interrupts the proceedings. Book says he needs to know if these three can work together and somehow get along, and that will happen tonight as these three team up in a 6-man main event tonight. Now can you dig that, sucka?

Later tonight, Jack Swagger faces Chris Jericho in a rematch from last week.

MATCH 1: Mark Henry vs. Zack Ryder
Henry throws Ryder into the corner and lands a big back elbow. Hard corner whip by Henry, followed by another one. Ryder escapes a running powerslam, but runs right into the World’s Strongest Slam for 3.

WINNER: Mark Henry. After the match, Henry hits Ryder with another WSS, then a third. Ryback’s music hits, and the two have a stare-down in the ring. Henry talks a bunch of trash and runs into Ryback, but gets nailed with a Meat Hook, sending him to the floor.

Teddy Long enters Booker T’s office and asks Book what he thinks about him and Vicki making the Ryback/Henry match at WM29. Book likes the match, but doesn’t like how Long handled his business. Long works for Book, not Vicki. Long says he thought he worked WITH Book, not FOR him.

Speaking of Booker T, he is the latest inductee into the WWE Hall of Fame, Class of 2013. Pretty awesome video package here. Oh, and just in case I haven’t made it clear on Facebook, anyone who says Book’s induction is “too soon” a) has no idea what the phrase means, and b) clearly doesn’t understand what constitutes a HOF career. Book most definitely deserves this induction, and his track record speaks for itself. Honestly, I hope he gets a DVD set out of this at some point.

MATCH 2: Dolph Ziggler (w/AJ and Big E. Langston) vs. Kofi Kingston
AJ will be doing color commentary during this match, and that’s fine with me. Kofi lands some kicks and punches in the corner, but Ziggler quickly comes back with a neckbreaker. Kofi decks Ziggler, hits a back elbow and a dropkick. Jumping clothesline connects, as does the Boom Drop. He calls for TIP, but Langston causes a distraction. Ziggler pops up with a beautiful dropkick off the distraction for 2. Commercials.

We’re back, and Kofi is fighting back with rights. Ziggler sends him to the counter, where Kofi counters a charge with a Pendulum. Kofi goes up top, but gets crotched and crashes to the mat for 2. Kofi fights back from his knees, but runs into another gorgeous dropkick for 2. Ziggler applies a rear chinlock, and Kofi fights out once more. Ziggler boots him in the gut, then fires off some shots in the corner. He misses a shoulder thrust, going right into the post. Kofi hits a couple of double chops and a dropkick. Spinning cross-body from the top connects for 2. Kofi goes for a springboard splash, but Ziggler blocks it for 2. He sees TIP coming off the ropes and cinches in the sleeper. Kofi backs into the corner and armdrags out of it before hitting the SOS for 2 as Ziggler grabs the ropes. Ziggler rolls to the floor as Kofi goes for a suicide dive. Langston stands in the way, so Kofi goes up top and hits a plancha on Langston. From behind, Ziggler hits a rocker dropper before throwing Kofi back into the ring. He calls for the Zig Zag, and hits it for 3.

WINNER: Dolph Ziggler. After the match, Langston picks Kingston up and hits Sudden Impact.

We see Show, Orton and Sheamus in the locker room, arguing about what’s going on in their match tonight. Orton says that, if they don’t work together, they are sitting ducks for The Shield before storming off.

Before the next match starts, Jack Swagger welcomes us to his America. Zeb takes the mic and says it’s a beautiful day in Swagger’s America, and what happened on RAW to Ricardo Rodriguez was unfortunate but necessary, and was nothing compared to what will happen to Alberto Del Rio. In Swagger’s America, if bones need to be broken, they will be. What happened to Ricardo should not only serve as a wake-up call to Ricardo, but to everyone who disagrees with what they say, and that includes Chris Jericho. Swagger catchphrase time.

MATCH 3: Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Colter) vs. Chris Jericho
Jericho starts with some forearm strikes and punches, followed by a back elbow off the ropes. Corner clothesline by Jericho, followed by a chop, more punches and a knee lift. More strikes, but Swagger blocks an Irish whip and rolls to the floor. Jericho lands a baseball slide through the ropes, then throws Swagger into the barricade. Back in the ring, Swagger pops up and hits a chop block before stomping Jericho down. Running shoulderblock hits, as does a second one. Swagger goes to the ropes once more, but gets hit with a dropkick for 2. Jericho ducks a clothesline, but gets caught by Swagger off the ropes and gets rammed into the corner. Swagger punches Jericho before propping him on the top rope. Jericho kicks Swagger away until Swagger boots him in the gut. Swagger goes for a superplex, but Jericho fights him off and knocks him to the mat. Jericho gets to his feet and hits a cross-body from the top for 2. Swagger rolls to the floor, and Jericho flattens him with a slingshot plancha. Commercials.

We’re back, and Jericho gets planted with a big boot for 2. Swagger applies a hammerlock/armbar combo, then punches Jericho in the midsection a few times. Swagger ties Jericho’s arm up in the ropes before hitting Jericho in the back with some forearm shots. He sends Jericho shoulder-first into the opposite corner, but misses an avalanche. Jericho hits a couple shoulderblocks and follows up with a double axe handle from the top rope. He hits 10 corner punches as Swagger tries to counter into a powerbomb. Jericho tries to counter that into a hurricanrana, but Swagger counters once more into the Patriot Lock. Jericho manages to roll through and send him to the outside before hitting a springboard dropkick. Fandango’s music hits and…please don’t tell me it’ll be Fandango/Jericho at WM29. Please, no. Fandango makes his way down the ramp with his random woman as, back in the ring, Swagger hits an elevated belly-to-belly suplex for 2. Jericho ducks a clothesline and goes for a crucifix for 2. He goes for the Codebreaker and turns it into a sunset flip, which he then tries to turn into the Walls of Jericho. Swagger blocks, Jericho slingshots him into the ropes before hitting a bulldog. Colter gets on the apron as Jericho goes for the Lionsault. While the ref is distracted, Fandango gets on the apron and blasts Jericho with a kick. Swagger hits the Swagger Bomb out of the corner and gets the 3.

WINNER: Jack Swagger. Fandango enters the ring after the match and beats Jericho down. Fandango leaps to the top rope and hits a guillotine legdrop. He grabs a mic and tells Jericho what his name is.

Matt Striker is in the back with Big Show, and he says it’ll be a challenge for Show to get along with his partners. Show tells Striker that Orton is right and that they need to get on the same page. They’ve all been beaten up by The Shield. Orton and Sheamus can trust him as much as they can trust each other. Trust him.

The Rhodes Scholars and The Bella Twins are in the ring. Rhodes says that, tonight, even though we don’t deserve, they bring to us a special gift. Sandow says that his best friend and he are more than proud to present to all of us, the class of the divas division, the only two women with enough beauty and intelligence to accompany the Rhodes Scholars, the Bellas. You’re welcome. I like both of these guys, and being paired with the Bellas is making it hard for me to approve of them.

MATCH 4: Brodus Clay and Sweet T (w/The Funkadactyls) vs. The Rhodes Scholars (w/The Bella Twins)
I like the fact that Cameron and Naomi deck themselves out in thigh-high socks each week. Just saying. T and Rhodes start with T nailing an uppercut. Rhodes comes back with a Goldust uppercut, but runs into a clothesline. He dodges a splash before Clay tags in. He hits a pair of clotheslines, then a back elbow on Sandow. Avalanche on Rhodes, and one of the Bellas tries to distract Clay from the apron. Cameron yanks her to the floor as Naomi tackles the other Bella. T and Clay try to pull their women off as the Scholars try to interject. The ref just throws the match out at this point.

WINNERS: No contest.

Matt Striker is now in the back with Sheamus and Randy Orton and asks if they’re on the same page. Sheamus says absolutely. They trust each other and trust Show as much as he trusts them. Trust him. No seriously, trust him.

MATCH 5: WWE United States Champion Antonio Cesaro vs. The Miz (non-title)
Wade Barrett is on commentary for this match. Okay Cesaro has dominated this feud. Move him onto something else. Lock-up to start, and Cesaro turns it into a side headlock. Crisscross ends with a Miz roll-up for 2, but he runs right into a kneelift to the face for 2. Cesaro connects with the double stomp for another 2. Deadlift gutwrench suplex hits for another 2. He yanks Miz up by ear before applying a cravat. Miz breaks free and hits some lefts, then hits a knee lift and a running boot. Hanging clothesline in the corner by Miz, and he mounts the top rope for a double axe handle. He calls for the figure-4, but Cesaro boots him off. Miz sidesteps a clothesline and dropkicks Cesaro in the knee. Miz locks in the figure-4, and sadly, Cesaro taps.

WINNER: The Miz. After the match, Miz applies the figure-4 once again while taunting Barrett. Barrett simply holds the IC title up over his head and walks away.

MATCH 6: Randy Orton, Sheamus and The Big Show vs. 3MB (Jinder Mahal, Drew McIntyre and Heath Slater)
Mahal and Orton start with Mahal hitting some strikes before running into a pair of clotheslines. Mounted punches in the corner by Orton, and now Sheamus tags in. The faces hit a double back elbow, and now Sheamus beats Mahal down in the corner. Mahal manages to fights back, but it’s cut short by Sheamus, who sends Mahal into the corner, hits a running shoulder thrust, a kneelift and a rolling fireman’s carry slam. Sheamus mocks Show with some open-hand chops in the corner, then tags in the giant. Drew tags in on the other side, and he tries to attack Show with punches. Show headbutts him, then drapes him over the top rope for the tied-up forearms, mocking Sheamus. Mahal is tagged back in, and Show hip tosses him into the ring. Mahal tags Slater, and Show does the same thing to him. Orton tags in, and he hits a jumping kneedrop. Slater boots Orton in the gut before running into a powerslam. Orton sets him up for the suspended DDT, but Mahal runs interference. Slater hotshots Orton before landing a jumping sidekick for 2. Slater stomps Orton down before tagging in Drew, who beats Orton down in the corner. Mahal tags in and hits a swinging neckbreaker as Slater tags in to get a 2. Slater hits a kneedrop before mounting the top rope. He comes off right into a dropkick by Orton, and Orton tags in Sheamus as Mahal tags in. Show hits a pair of clotheslines, a hip bump in the corner and a spear. Drew lands a big boot on Show, so Sheamus tags himself in. Show knocks Drew out with a WMD, and Sheamus drops Mahal with a Brogue Kick for 3.

WINNERS: The Big Show, Randy Orton and Sheamus. After the match, Show and Sheamus argue about the finish of the match, and Orton tries to cool things down. The Shield make their way down to the ring through the crowd. Show and Sheamus begins shoving each other and Orton gets elbowed by Show as well. The three are all shoving each other now as The Shield surround the ring. The faces stop fighting to hold The Shield off for a moment, and The Shield decide to leave things where they stand and head back through the crowd.

End of show.

Pretty much a throw-away show, but Swagger/Jericho was once again good, and Ziggler/Kofi was also very enjoyable.

As always, feel free to follow me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/xdustineflx ,and if you like Married…With Children, you can follow my Al Bundy parody account at http://www.twitter.com/bundyisms. Also follow my personal blog at http://nerdslikeme.blogspot.com (feedback is welcome). Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out my mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:

Gerri Davis Banner, NPC National Level Heavyweight and Masters Female Bodybuilder

-Dustin

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WWE SmackDown Results March 15 and Recap

March 18, 2013 By: Category: WWE | Pro Wrestling

I apologize for the delay for my recap this week. I was having problems with my internet yesterday, and the feed for this week’s show didn’t go up on YouTube until this morning (Sunday).

Looks like we’re starting the show with a match. Brad Maddox is once again on commentary for the night.

Before the match starts, Damien Sandow says that, what happened last Monday on RAW was nothing short of a professional and managerial abomination. Not only was their sure-fire victory over the New-Age Outlaws taken from them, and not only was their post-match endeavor with The Bella Twins postponed, but they were involved in a match they were neither mentally or physically prepared for against these two Bulgarians (Sheamus and Orton). His uncle Minnish Sandow told him a story once, and it goes like this…Cody Rhodes cuts him off and says they don’t deserve the story. It’s simple: Sheamus and Orton ruined their date and their night, so it’s their turn to ruin Sheamus’ and Orton’s.

MATCH 1: Sheamus and Randy Orton vs. The Rhodes Scholars (Cody Rhodes and Damien Sandow)
Rhodes and Sheamus start with Sheamus hitting a hip throw. Sheamus runs through Rhodes off the ropes, but gets caught with some rights. Sheamus counters a corner whip and catches Rhodes, but he escapes and tags in Sandow. Sheamus blocks a kick, hits a short-arm and drops a leg. Sandow fights out of the corner with kicks. Sheamus counters a corner whip again, hits a running shoulder thrust, a kneelift and a pair of Irish Hammers. Sandow escapes White Noise, but gets sent to the apron, where he’s hit with the tied-up forearm shots. Sheamus knocks Rhodes off the apron for good measure, and that allows Sandow to hotshot him. On the floor, Rhodes hits the Beautiful Disaster from the announce desk. Commercials.

We’re back, and Sheamus is hit with a dropkick by Rhodes for 2. Sandow tags in and beats Sheamus down. He pulls Sheamus to the apron, where he drops a series of elbows. Sheamus fights back with headbutts, so Rhodes tags in and prevents Sheamus from making the tag. Rhodes tags Sandow back in off an arm wringer, and Sandow applies a front chancery. Sheamus fights out, so Sandow decks him before stomping him down in the corner. Sheamus fights back from his knees until Sandow boots him. Sandow charges in, but gets caught with a pair of boots. Sheamus backflips to the top, where he hits the Battering Ram. Orton and Rhodes tag in, and Orton hits 3 out of the 4 Moves of Boredom. He changes things up by hitting an exploder suplex, then hits Move 4 with the Suspended DDT. Sheamus nails Sandow with a Brogue Kick, and Orton hits the RKO on Rhodes for 3.

WINNERS: Randy Orton and Sheamus. The Shield’s music hits, as you would probably expect. Orton and Sheamus are looking all over the place for them, but we see them on the TitanTron. Dean Ambrose tells them to relax and not to be afraid. Or maybe they do. Roman Reigns says not tonight, thought. Ambrose tells them they’re standing in The Shield’s ring, and if they don’t believe it, ask The Big Show. They served justice to Show just like they’ve done to everyone else: Ryback, Sheamus, Cena, Orton, The Rock, etc. Rollins says they’ve taken Cena and The Rock multiple times, and flattened them each time. Reigns compares them to roadkill. Rollins says they take from The Shield because they’re the main event. Somehow, The Shield doesn’t even have a match at Wrestlemania, and that’s the greatest injustice he’s ever heard of. Ambrose tells Sheamus and Orton to find a partner. Orton says he’s in, and Sheamus says he’ll see them at Wrestlemania. Rollins calls Wrestlemania “The Showcase of Justice”, and we will believe in The Shield. Looks like we’ve got a 6-man for WM29.

In the main event tonight, Chris Jericho takes on Jack Swagger. Also tonight, Ryback faces Mark Henry.

Another Fandango video. Please fire this man, Vince.

We see Orton and Sheamus talking, and Sheamus says they definitely made the right choice. The Big Show walks up and says they look like they could use a partner against The Shield. He doesn’t trust either of them, but he wants that spot. They need a partner who can bulldoze anything in front of him. Orton says they agree, and Sheamus says Show is right, and that’s why they’ve picked…him. The camera pans over to show Ryback standing there.

MATCH 2: Aksana and Tamina Snuka vs. WWE Divas Champion Kaitlyn and Layla
Snuka and Layla start, and Snuka shoves Layla into the corner. Layla comes back with some kicks. Snuka blocks an Irish whip, but gets a mule kick. She ducks the Bombshell and catches the second one, shoving Layla to the mat. She whips Layla across the ring, then throws Layla to the corner a couple of times. Aksana tags in for some kicks before tagging Snuka back in for kicks of her own. Aksana back in as we see the Funkadactyls looking on from the back. Aksana puts Layla in a modified bow-and-arrow, then lets go to go for a pin, getting 2. Layla gets sent to the corner once more, where Snuka tags in, hitting a float-over suplex for 2. Layla tries to fight back, but gets hit with a knee lift. She dodges a corner charge and rolls Snuka up for 2. Kaitlyn tags in, as does Aksana. Kaitlyn hits a pair of clotheslines and a running shoulderblock. She hits an inverted DDT for 2 before going to the ropes. Snuka hits her in the back from the apron, so Aksana goes for a bodyslam. Kaitlyn escapes and shoves Aksana into Snuka before hitting a spear. Layla makes a blind tag and hits LOL for 3.

WINNERS: Kaitlyn and Layla. We see the Funkadactyls walking from the monitor when they’re stopped by The Bella Twins. They call the Twins a big influence on them. Nikki makes some stupid snide remarks, then Brie does the same thing before attacking the Funkadactyls. God, I did not miss listening to the Bellas speak. If they weren’t dating John Cena and Daniel Bryan, we’d never have to see them again. Thanks, John and Bryan.

MATCH 3: WWE Tag Team Co-Champion Kane (w/Daniel Bryan) vs. Dolph Ziggler (w/AJ and Big E. Langston)
Kane immediately attacks Ziggler with kneelifts in the corner. He hits a body blow and an uppercut before stomping Ziggler down. Kane hits a shoulder thrust in the corner, followed by another uppercut. Hip toss out of the corner before Kane sends him in with a whip. Ziggler avoids a charge, but still gets nailed with an uppercut, sending him to the floor. Ziggler plays cat-and-mouse to sucker Kane back in the ring. He hits some rights before running into a big boot. Kane hits a bodyslam, then another. Ziggler manages to hit a back elbow and some rights, but gets backdropped to the floor. He lands on the apron, though, and hotshots Kane. Up top, Ziggler hits a nice missile dropkick for 2. Ziggler hits the Show-Off Elbow for 2. Rear chinlock is applied, but Kane throws him off. Ziggler hits a drop toehold into the buckles and follows up with a leaping DDT for 2. Kane fights back with an uppercut and hits a clothesline. Delayed vertical suplex connects, and Kane follows up with a low dropkick for 2. Corner clothesline by Kane followed by another, and he goes for the sidewalk slam. Ziggler spins out and applies a sleeper. Kane breaks it by backing into the corner. Ziggler blocks a charge and comes off the middle rope but jumps right into an uppercut for 2. Kane goes up top and hits a flying clothesline. He calls for the chokeslam, but AJ jumps on the apron to cause a distraction. Meanwhile, Bryan tries to attack Langston from behind, but Langston throws him through the timekeeper’s table. Kane drops Langston with a big boot, and as he’s getting back in the ring, he hits a rocker dropper. Ziggler hits the Zig Zag and gets the 3.

WINNER: Dolph Ziggler. Kind of surprised by that ending, but the right man went over. After the match, Ziggler taunts Kane, and Kane goozles him. He looks to go for the chokeslam, but Langston runs through Kane before hitting Sudden Impact.

We get another video of Ricardo Rodriguez and ADR making fun of Swagger and Colter. This time, it’s about Canadians smuggling maple syrup into this country. This segues into R-Truth and Chris Jericho watching this video on a monitor, laughing. Swagger and Colter enter and asks if Jericho thinks it’s funny when Swagger beat him and four others at EC and put the weight of the country on his back. Jericho is no different than ADR. He snuck across the border from Canada and is now taking what doesn’t belong to him. Jericho points out he was actually born in America and calls Colter a cross between Rush Limbaugh and Yosemite Sam. Swagger should be more worried about his match against ADR at Wrestlemania, as well as his match against Jericho tonight. So, until they can beat Jericho, please shut the hell up.

More Fandango propaganda. Did Vince McMahon honestly think this gimmick would get over?

We’re supposed to have a match between Fandango and The Great Khali. However, Fandango comes out with his anonymous broad as Khali and Natalya are in the ring, and says something about interpreting the language of dance, then calls Khali’s dancing unacceptable. It’s obvious he can’t dance at all, so let’s try this: let’s see if you can pronounce his name correctly. Khail calls him Fandango, so Fandango coaches him on how to pronounce it. Khali obviously butchers it, and Fandango calls that horrible. He hopes Khali has a lot of money, because he’s going to have to reimburse everyone here, since they’re going to once again miss out on the debut of Fandango.

Matt Striker is in the back, and he announced the 6-man mentioned earlier has been made official. He’s standing by with Sheamus and Randy Orton. He asks Sheamus about the odds being evened up with Ryback on their side, and Sheamus says the odds are now in their favor. Orton says we’re about to get a sample of Ryback in his match with Mark Henry in a few moments. Just as Sheamus is about to speak again, The Shield assault both guys, and Striker becomes a casualty of war in the process. They throw Orton into the wall a few times before throwing Sheamus through a table.

After the commercials, we see Booker T, Teddy Long and some officials checking on Sheamus and Orton. Ryback walks up and asks what happens. Book tells him they’ve got this, and right now, Ryback needs to deal with Mark Henry.

MATCH 4: Mark Henry vs. Ryback
Lock-up to start, and Ryback eventually backs Henry into the corner. The Shield’s music hits right away, and we see them enter through the crowd. Henry bails, and the three attack Ryback.

WINNER VIA DISQUALIFICATION: Ryback. Ryback actually dominates The Shield this time, and Henry starts to get back in the ring. However, it’s mostly a distraction, as The Shield re-enter the ring and triple team Ryback as Henry just paces around the ring. They eventually hit the triple powerbomb, and Ryback is left laying. Henry gets back in the ring after they leave, hitting the World’s Strongest Slam on Ryback. He then hits another WSS for good measure. And, just for fun, a third WSS connects.

MATCH 5: Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Colter) vs. Chris Jericho
Swagger backs Jericho into the corner with a lock-up, but gives a clean break. Another lock-up, and Swagger turns it into a waistlock. Jericho counters into his own and turns it into a side headlock. Swagger backs Jericho into the corner, then knocks Jericho down with a right. Swagger stomps Jericho down, then pulls him up for some rights. Jericho counters with chops and rights, then hits a nasty clothesline. Jericho backdrops Swagger to the floor, but Swagger lands on the apron. Jericho hits a springboard dropkick, sending Swagger to the floor. Commercials.

We’re back, and Swagger hits a running knee in the corner. He applies a standing legbar on Jericho, then locks in a double chicken wing as he continuously screams, “We the people!” Jericho breaks the hold by kicking Swagger in the knee, then hits a back suplex. Swagger pops back up and hits a running clothesline for 2. Swagger grinds Jericho’s face into the mat before applying a front chancery. Jericho gets back to his feet, then gets a 2 off a move I didn’t see since there was a glitch in my feed. Jericho assaults Swagger in the corner until Swagger reverses a corner whip and hits a running chop block. He applies the Patriot Lock, but Jericho kicks him off and rolls him into a small package for 2. Swagger is back up, and he hits a belly-to-belly suplex for 2. Commercials.

Back from the break, Swagger hits an avalanche and picks Jericho up for a slam, but Jericho counters into a DDT for 2. Jericho kicks Swagger a few times, but gets pancaked off the ropes. Swagger grabs Jericho in a gutwrench, but Jericho counters into the Walls. Swagger punches his way out and manages to apply the Patriot Lock once more. Jericho counters into a victory roll, then turns it into the Walls of Jericho. Colter jumps on the apron, and the slight distraction allows Swagger to get a rope break and roll to the floor. Jericho baseball slides him through the ropes, then sends him into the steps. Back in the ring, Jericho goes up top and hits a cross-body for 2. Jericho hits a series of knee strikes until Swagger sends him into the middle buckle. Swagger misses a corner charge and Jericho goes for the Codebreaker, but Swagger shoves him off into the turnbuckles in a nasty spot. He hits the falling Doctor Bomb, and it’s enough to get the 3.

WINNER: Jack Swagger.

End of show.

Good main event tonight, and the Kane/Ziggler match was pretty fun, too.

As always, feel free to follow me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/xdustineflx ,and if you like Married…With Children, you can follow my Al Bundy parody account at http://www.twitter.com/bundyisms. Also follow my personal blog at http://nerdslikeme.blogspot.com (feedback is welcome). Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out my mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:

Gerri Davis Banner, NPC National Level Heavyweight and Masters Female Bodybuilder

-Dustin

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WWE SmackDown Results December 28 and Report

December 30, 2012 By: Category: Videos, WWE | Pro Wrestling

This week’s WWE SmackDown! is the final episode of the year, and something tells me it will be mostly a throw-away show, if it’s anything like the Christmas Eve episode of RAW this past Monday.

We kick things off with Sheamus making his way out. First off, Sheamus hopes everyone had a merry Christmas. He had a great time. It’s a special time of year for him. He drank gallons of eggnog-flavored ale. He got a bunch of ugly sweaters and ties, and of course, he got a year’s supply of sunscreen from his ma. The greatest present, though, was when he defeated The Big Show in the Lumberjack Frost Match on Monday. He’s going to make a new year’s resolution right now, and that is to become the new World Champion. The new year is too far away, though, and the old saying goes there’s no time like the present. Show, he’s calling you out, fella, for tonight, in a match for the World Champion. If you thought the beating on Monday was bad, fella, wait until you see what he does to you in the ring tonight. Show heads down to the ring and has a question for Sheamus: does he look like Santa Claus? “Yes!” chants from the crowd on this note. Sheamus agrees, but says Show is way fatter. Show calls that remark cute and tells Sheamus to go into stand-up, and his likelihood of being successful at that is about the same as getting another shot at the title. Sheamus must have a pathetic case of denial. Show has beaten him twice when it counted. As for RAW, Show was in Christmas Vacation mode. The title wasn’t on the line, so that victory didn’t count. Sheamus always comes up short when it counts, and he can’t tell Show when he’ll defend his title again, or against who. Sheamus calls him a coward, and even though the title wasn’t on the line on Monday, his pride was. Show says he’s not afraid of anything. Sheamus says he came here to fight for the title tonight, and if he can’t get the title, he’s still gonna get a fight.

General Manager Booker T comes out and tells Sheamus that Show is right. Show beat him at TLC, however, Sheamus also beat Show on Monday night. Show knows where this is going, and he’s not having any part of it. He’s done with Sheamus, and Sheamus isn’t worthy of another title match. There isn’t one single athlete on Smackdown! who is worthy of a title match. Whenever he walks through that locker room, it reeks of inferiority. Book is sorry Show feels that way, but he will be in action tonight. He’s been working on this match all week. Book is going to bring out every WWE superstar that’s here tonight, and he’s going to put everyone’s name in a tumbler, including Sheamus. Whoever’s name is chosen will face Show tonight for the World title. Teddy Long and Eve Torres lead all of the superstars out onto the stage. Show calls this whole thing ridiculous. It’s not a lottery to see who gets a shot at the title; it’s a lottery to see who gets knocked out. Book says we’re going to find out the winner right now. Teddy and Eve fight over who is going to draw the name, and Eve knocks the tumbler off the table. Book decides he’ll draw the name himself, and the winner is…Santino Marella. Show immediately starts laughing, while Santino celebrates his opportunity. Show walks up the ramp and gets in Santino’s face, then laughs some more before heading to the back.

MATCH 1: Primo (w/Epico and Rosa Mendes) vs. Brodus Clay (w/The Funkadactyls-Cameron and Naomi)
Primo immediately attacks the right leg of Clay. Clay comes back with strikes, then hits a front powerslam. He drops Primo with the headbutt, and hits Aw, Funk It for the 3.

WINNER: Brodus Clay. Rosa gets in Clay’s face after the match, so the Funkadactyls hit her with a double suplex and double suicide. Some kids from the audience join in on the dancing afterwards.

Sheamus and Santino are in the locker room, and Sheamus is trying to help Santino with tonight’s match. Santino calls Sheamus the master and tells him to paint a masterpiece on him. Sheamus talks about the Brogue Kick, and Santino wants to learn it. With the Cobra and the Brogue Kick, it’s guaranteed Sheamus will never be champion again. Sheamus shows him how to do it, and Santino ends up injuring his hamstring.

MATCH 2: Wade Barrett and The Rhodes Scholars (Cody Rhodes and Damien Sandow) vs. Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston and WWE Tag Team Champions Team Hell No! (Daniel Bryan and Kane)
Bryan and Rhodes start the match. Bryan applies a hammerlock, and Rhodes breaks free. Bryan hits him with a kick to the chest, followed by a slingshot into Kane’s boot. Apparently Kane tagged in, and he gets 1. He misses a clothesline in the corner, and Rhodes tags in Sandow. Sandow with punches and kicks, but he gets sent into the corner and hit with a sidewalk slam for 2. Kofi tags in, and he hits a double axe handle to the arm from the top. Sandow drops Kofi before tagging Rhodes in, and he gets a shot in before tagging in Barrett. Kofi counters a bodyslam with a side headlock. Barrett shoves him off and hits a shoulderblock, and the crisscross ends with a spinning back elbow from Kofi. Kofi hits a dropkick for 2. He applies a front chancery, but Barrett shoves him off. Kofi ducks a clothesline and goes for TIP, but Barrett sees it coming and backs off. We get a stand-off between the two teams as we go to commercials.

Video package for Wade Barrett.

We’re back, and the Rhodes Scholars hit a wishbone on Bryan. Sandow is legal, and he hits a side-Russian legsweep, followed by the Cubito Auquet for 2. Barrett back in, and he traps Bryan in the ropes for some kneelifts. Barrett sends Bryan to the apron with a running boot, then pulls him back in for 2. Barrett applies a camel clutch, and Bryan fights out with elbows. Barrett rebounds and sends Bryan hard into the corner. Rhodes in, and he stomps Bryan down. Snapmare by Rhodes, and he turns it into a rear chinlock, combined with an armbar. Bryan punches out of the hold and manages to hot shot Rhodes into the turnbuckles. Barrett and Kofi tag in, and Kofi immediately hits a springboard clothesline. He ducks a boot and takes Barrett down with some punches. Barrett sends Kofi into the buckles, but Kofi dodges the charge and hits the Pendulum. Pumping cross-body from the top gets 2 until the Scholars break it up. Kane takes them both to the floor, where they rebound and ram Kane into the barricade. Bryan quickly joins the fight and takes Sandow down, but turns around into the Beautiful Disaster from the apron by Rhodes. In the ring, Kofi counters the Bullhammer with a roll-up, but breaks it when he sees Rhodes coming in. He blasts Rhodes with Trouble in Paradise, but immediately gets nailed with the Bullhammer for 3.

WINNERS: Wade Barrett and the Rhodes Scholars.
We are informed that Santino will not be able to compete tonight due to a pulled hamstring. This segues into Booker T and Big Show in Book’s office. Show thinks he has the night off now that Santino is injured, but Book isn’t having that. He promised a title match tonight, and there will be one. He says they’re going to spin the tumbler again, and select a new name for the title match. Teddy Long pushes the tumbler in, and Show & Book continue to argue. Moments later, Teddy brings Ricardo Rodriguez in, and Book says this is his new challenger. Show laughs at him, puts the belt on Ricardo’s shoulder and begins berating him. He asks Ricardo to announce himself as champion. Ricardo starts to do the announcement, but Show knocks him out with the WMD. Guess Ricardo’s out for the evening, too.

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MATCH 3: Zack Ryder vs. WWE United States Champion Antonio Cesaro (non-title)
Lock-up to start the match, and Cesaro backs Ryder into the corner. Cesaro hits a suplex for 1 before applying a rear chinlock. Ryder fights out, but Cesaro drops him with a gut shot before stomping him down. Cesaro hits the deadlift gutwrench suplex for 2. He fires off some gut shots in the corner, but Ryder comes back with rights. Cesaro quickly drops him and hits a double stomp for 2. Cesaro applies a waistlock, trying to wear Ryder down. Ryder breaks free and hits a facebuster. Middle rope dropkick connects, and Ryder follows up with the forearm shot in the corner and the Broski Boot. He misses the boot, however, and Cesaro blasts him with a European uppercut to the back of the head. Neutralizer connects and gets the 3.

WINNER: Antonio Cesaro.

MATCH 4: The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler (w/Big E. Langston and AJ Lee)
Miz starts with a side headlock and follows up with a hip throw. Miz shoulders Ziggler off the ropes, then hits another hip throw. Armdrag and another hip throw. Ziggler counters with a top wristlock before punching Miz down. Ziggler applies a side headlock, then shoulders Miz down off the ropes. Crisscross ends in a flapjack by Miz. Miz sends Ziggler over the top rope, but he’s caught by Langston. Back in the ring, Ziggler boots Miz in the gut, then hits a snapmare and jumping elbow for 2. Rear chinlock is applied, and he turns it into a modified abdominal stretch. Miz snaps Ziggler off, takes him down and fires off some punches. Up top, Miz goes for an axe handle, but Ziggler meets him with a dropkick. Commercials.

Back from the break, Ziggler gets 2. He goes back to the rear chinlock, and Miz elbows out. Ziggler cuts him off, but Miz quickly hits a back suplex. They trade shots until Miz drops Ziggler in mid-air off a lift. Reality Check connects, getting 2. Ziggler goes for the sleeper, but Miz fights him off and hits the snap DDT for 2. Ziggler ducks a running boot and rolls Miz up for 2. Miz sends Ziggler into the corner and connects with the hanging clothesline. Up top, Miz connects with a double axe handle. He blows a kiss at AJ and signals for the SKF, but AJ immediately sends Langston into the ring. Langston gets in Miz’s face from the steps, and Ziggler quickly hits the Zig Zag for the 3.

WINNER: Dolph Ziggler. After the match, Miz tells AJ that, no matter which superstar she’s with on New Year’s Eve, they all know that night will end with a bang. Happy new year, sweetheart. Ziggler charges back to the ring, where Miz pops up and nails him with a microphone. Miz manages to knock Ziggler down to the floor, and Langston hits the ring, drops Miz with a standing avalanche with what I guess is now called Sudden Impact. Better name than the Big Ending, but the move itself still sucks.

We see a doctor checking on Ricardo Rodriguez. The doctor says he’ll be okay, but can’t compete. Booker T is trying to get some answers until Brad Maddox enters the room. He asks for one more shot, but Book isn’t listening. Maddox still bothers him, so Book agrees to it, saying this is his last chance. His match is up next, so he needs to get out of here. Alberto Del Rio enters the room to check on Ricardo, then tells Book that the moment he sees Big Show, he’ll look like a giant piñata, and ADR will open him up. Book has a better idea: ADR vs. Show for the title tonight. ADR likes that idea, then tells Ricardo the match is for him.

Brad Maddox makes his way out and says his new year’s resolution is to become a certified WWE superstar. He has never broken a resolution. He also has a resolution for everyone: always remember the name Brad Maddox. Trust him, after tonight, that will be as easy as it gets. Happy new year.

MATCH 5: Brad Maddox vs. Sheamus
Maddox goes to step outside the ring after the bell rings, but Sheamus talks him back in. Maddox applies a side headlock, so Sheamus shoves him off and drops him with a shoulderblock. He goes for a waistlock, so Sheamus easily throws him off. Maddox goes for an arm wringer, and Sheamus reverses before hitting a hip throw. Maddox gets a rope break and shoves Sheamus. Sheamus chases him out of the ring, and Maddox suckers him back in, stomping him down upon entry. Maddox fires off some rights, but can’t do a corner whip. Sheamus pulls him into the corner and beats him down. Maddox tries to climb out, and gets caught in the ropes by Sheamus, where he gets nailed with some forearms to the chest. Sheamus connects with White Noise, then runs through him with a Brogue Kick for the easy 3.

WINNER: Sheamus.

MATCH 6: The Usos (Jey and Jimmy) vs. The Prime-Time Players (Titus O’Neil and Darren Young)
Jimmy and Young start the match, and Young quickly takes Jimmy down with a single-leg. Jimmy boots him off, but Young shoulders him down. Crisscross sequence, and Jimmy nails an uppercut. Jey tags in, and they hit a double back elbow and double elbow drop for 2. Young pushes Jey off as Titus makes a blind tag, and he knees Jey in the back. Titus stomps Jey down, then hits a short-arm clothesline. Young back in, and he accidentally boots Titus off a whip. Jey misses a kick and Young hits the Forever Young for 2 as Jimmy breaks up the pin. Titus beats Jimmy down in the corner, and as the referee is pulling Titus back to his corner, the Usos switch places, and Jimmy rolls Young up in an inside cradle for 3.

WINNER: The Usos.
We get a video package for The Shield. They say that 2012 will go down in history for the scar they left, and their just getting started. They warned everyone. They didn’t just talk about injustice; no, they rectified it. For them, the mission remains the same. 2013 will be the year The Shield cleanses the disease of injustice from WWE. They have no friends or allies, they answer to no one. In 2013, justice lives. Believe in The Shield.

Matt Striker is with Big Show, wanting comments on ADR tonight. Show calls this match ridiculous. He’s had two opponents tonight. One got injured, and one got knocked out. He said everyone in WWE was either a loser, a reject, a wannabe or a nobody, and that includes ADR as well. If he wants to get knocked out tonight, fine. Show will consider it a trifecta.

MATCH 7-World Championship: The Big Show (champion) vs. Alberto Del Rio
ADR actually gets a pretty sizeable pop here. I wonder if they’re really going to go forward with a face turn for him, as the plan is rumored to be. ADR immediately goes on the attack with punches and kicks. Show responds with a headbutt and goes for a chop in the corner, but ADR turns things around and fires off more punches. Show blocks a kick and drops him with a chop. Forearm to the back by Show, followed by a hip throw. ADR counters with a headscissors, then gets back to his feet for more kicks and punches. Show clubs him down again, then chops him across the chest before knocking him to the floor. Show follows and sends ADR into the steps. Back in the ring, Show applies a shoulder claw. ADR fights out, but runs right into a shoulderblock. Show walks across ADR’s stomach, then hits a bodyslam. ADR dodges an elbow off the ropes, then hits a series of running boots. He hits a mule kick to the head for 2 before attacking Show’s left arm. He calls for the rolling jujigatame, but can’t turn Show over. Show shoves him off through the ropes and to the floor. Show slides to the floor and begins walking up the ramp, apparently wanting a count-out. Sheamus attacks Show from behind, causing the DQ.

WINNER VIA DISQUALIFICATION: The Big Show. He and Sheamus continue to brawl, and Show boots him down before trying to leave again. He is stopped by the rest of the locker room, and they all begin attacking him before rolling him into the ring where ADR hits him with a step-up enziguri in the corner, and Sheamus levels him with a Brogue Kick.

End of show.


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WWE Wrestler Of The Week: December 15-21st, 2012

December 21, 2012 By: Category: WWE | Pro Wrestling

Welcome back to another edition of WWE Wrestler of the Week! Last week, the Celtic Warrior Sheamus took home the honor, but this was a different week. This week’s WWE Wrestler of the Week was victorious at WWE TLC 2012, Raw and two episodes of SmackDown. He also took home a Slammy Award on Monday night. He retained his championship at TLC with Trouble in Paradise. He is Kofi Kingston.

Kofi Kingston began the week on Friday Night SmackDown with a win over Alberto Del Rio. This match seemed to be an opportunity to show off Kofi before his Intercontinental Championship match with Wade Barrett at WWE TLC 2012.

Kofi would go on to successfully retain his Intercontinental Championship against Wade Barrett at WWE TLC 2012. This was a surprise to me as I thought Wade Barrett needed to win this match. Wade Barrett will most likely be a World Champion in a few years, but Kofi will always be Kofi. Therefore, a win against Barrett and keeping the title on Kingston shows WWE supports Kofi and this definitely helped him win this week’s award.

This past Monday’s Raw saw Kofi Kingston pick up a win and a Slammy Award. Kofi won the “Tell Me I Did Not Just See That” award, also known as the Booker T award. Kingston received the award for his acrobatic and impressive handstand walk that kept him alive temporarily in the Royal Rumble match.

The other nominees for this award were Brad Maddox delivering a low blow to Ryback at Hell in a Cell, Sheamus defeating Daniel Bryan in 18 seconds at WrestleMania and CM Punk attacks the Rock at Raw 1000. Kofi’s win of this award is very questionable. Kofi’s moment at the Rumble was certainly impressive. However, the alternative name for the award is the Most Shocking Moment of the Year. The other nominees were most definitely much more shocking than Kofi’s acrobatics. I credit the WWE Universe (or a rigged poll) in giving Kofi the award, but either way it’s a win and helped him win this weekly award on Camel Clutch Blog.

This week is a special week in that there was a live Super SmackDown on Tuesday night. Not only that, but this episode was commercial free, which just means we were able to see every superstar’s entrance. In any case, Kofi Kingston was victorious once again as he teamed up with WWE Tag Team Champions Team Hell No to defeat Wade Barrett and the Prime Time Players. Although Kofi didn’t do the pinning here to win the match for his team, he remains undefeated for the week.

The second winner of Camel Clutch Blog’s WWE Wrestler of the Week is a fan favorite of the younger audience and of WWE management. Kofi Kingston has been on a roll since winning the Intercontinental Championship and it remains to be seen if Wade Barrett or another up and coming heel can steal the title away. Although Kofi Kingston did not have a match at WWE’s Tribute to the Troops show, his 4-0 record this week was better than any other WWE superstar.
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Seth M. Guttenplan is a WWE Featured Columnist for Bleacher Reportand host of OH YOU DIDN’T KNOW!? PWPRadio’s weekly radio show covering all wrestling news and rumors. To read more from Seth follow him on twitter (@sethgutt) and check out guttwrenchpowerblog.com.

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WWE SmackDown Results December 18 and Report

December 20, 2012 By: Category: Videos, WWE | Pro Wrestling

Tonight is a special live episode of SmackDown! and…it’s commercial-free. Wonderful.

We’re starting off the episode with another installment of MizTV. Miz might be the worst face in history. His guests shocked the world at TLC, doing more damage than Lindsay Lohan and a moving vehicle. They will explain their actions right now. Please welcome “Mr. MITB” Dolph Ziggler and AJ Lee. Ziggler and AJ head out, and they are accompanied by WWE’s newest signee, Big E. Langston. While Langston doesn’t impress me thus far, at least he’s in the role of a bodyguard, which doesn’t require much at this point. Also, I’m glad WWE made the right decision and kept the briefcase with Ziggler. Miz has one question: Why? AJ asks, “Really? Really?”

Instead of asking her why, why not ask John Cena why he toyed with her heart. If he has an answer to that, this would all make more sense. She lost her job as GM because she wanted to keep Cena’s good name cleaned. She thought it was all worth it when they made out a month ago on RAW. She thought it brought them closer together, and they would create something beautiful, but she was wrong. Cena was just playing with her emotions. She even made him some gifts. We see more footage from this storyline. Cut back to AJ, and she’s crying about the bows she made for him that he thought Vickie Guerrero planted.

Cena doesn’t care about anyone but himself, but she cared about him, and she wanted to support him, and he blew her off (more footage, this time from last week). Supposedly, Cena was concerned about her safety, but he really wanted to keep her hidden, like a dirty little secret. Cena was supposed to be different than other guys like Daniel Bryan and CM Punk. She loved both of them, and they used her before throwing her away like trash. Cena was supposed to be better than that. John Cena broke her heart, and so she helped Dolph Ziggler break John Cena. Miz calls her “America’s sweetheart” before reminding her Ziggler called her trash several weeks ago, and he’s now aboard the crazy train.

Langston steps in front of Ziggler, so Miz changes his question from “Why?” to “Who?”. AJ officially introduces Langston. He’s a friend of hers, and he doesn’t like it when people call her crazy. Ziggler steps in and mockingly calls Miz hilarious before calling him clueless. AJ isn’t crazy; she’s passionate, and he learned that last night when Langston came into the ring and crushed Cena. He also learned it earlier in the night when she gave him the hottest kiss in the near 20-year history of RAW. Cena can win the Slammy for “Superstar of the Year”; Ziggler doesn’t need Slammys. At TLC, not only did he keep the briefcase, when it comes to Cena, it’s just like Ziggler’s t-shirt says: he stole the show…and his girlfriend. Miz hopes Ziggler can satisfy all her personalities. They deserve each other, and man, can Ziggler pick women. AJ’s been with a monster, a goat face, a gimp, Marky Mark, and now she’s settled for the 6th member of One Direction. On this note, Langston drops Miz with a standing avalanche. He then picks up Miz and hits him with the Big Ending (yes, that’s the move’s actual name). AJ tells Miz, “Show…Off”, and the trio exit the ring.

Booker T gets stopped in the back by Teddy Long. Long has a kid he wants Book to look at and possibly give an opportunity. Book asks who it is, and Brad Maddox walks up, introducing himself. Book pulls Teddy aside and says that’s the kid that screwed Ryback. Teddy says he saw what happened at the Slammys. Book calls him creepy, so Long brings up his YouTube show. Book doesn’t trust Maddox. Teddy thinks Maddox has talent and is hungry, looking for a contract. Book, of all people, should know that people deserves opportunities. Book says that, if Maddox wants a match tonight, he’s got it. Since he’s Teddy’s project, Maddox will find out his opponent when he’s in the ring tonight. Book leaves, so Teddy turns back to Maddox, and Maddox thanks him for the opportunity.

MATCH 1: Damien Sandow (w/Cody Rhodes) vs. Sin Cara (w/Rey Mysterio)
Mysterio gets his own music, but does not show up, leaving Cara and the announcers confused. Cara goes for a quick armbar, but Sandow shoves him off. Cara ducks a clothesline and hits some kicks. Cara misses a backflip, but lands on his feet as Sandow slides to the floor. Back in, Sandow boots Cara, but Cara comes back with some strikes. He hits a springboard dropkick and hits a corner kick out of a Flair Flip. He goes for a springboard, but Rhodes pulls him to the floor behind the ref’s back. Back in, Sandow gets 2. Sandow drops some elbows to the chest, and a suplex gets 2. Rear chinlock is applied, and he breaks it to hit the side-Russian legsweep. The Cubito Aequet misses, and Cara gets in a sunset flip for 2. Sandow pops up and knocks Cara back down, then drops some elbows. He drags Cara to the floor, where he drops an elbow across the apron. Back in the ring, Sandow drops another elbow for 2 before going back to the rear chinlock. Cara counters with a jawbreaker, breaking the hold. Sandow misses an avalanche, and Cara fires off some kicks, followed by a handspring back elbow. Running hurricanrana connects, and a springboard cross-body gets 2. Sandow rolls to the floor, where Rhodes meets him. Cara takes them both out with a suicide dive. Cara is in the ring celebrating when he spots all three members of The Shield heading down to the ring. Roman Reigns pulls a Rey Mysterio mask out of his pocket and tosses it in the ring and the three just stand there. Sandow quickly comes back in and hits the Terminus for the 3.

WINNER: Damien Sandow. After the match, The Shield hits the ring, and they triple team Cara. Reigns hits a big headbutt, and Seth Rollins comes off the top with a Bomb’s Away kneedrop across Cara’s right knee. As Cara is being attended to, The Shield leave back through the crowd.

MATCH 2: Santino Marella vs. Tensai
It’s amazing how truly disappointing Tensai has been since returning. Santino gets shouldered down quickly, and Tensai follows up with stomps. Santino starts power-walking across the ring off an Irish whip, then ducks a clothesline before going for a bodyslam. Tensai is too big, and he clubs Santino down. Tensai drops an elbow across the back, then throws him to the corner. Tensai hits some back chops to the side of the neck before screaming at Santino that he’s nothing. Santino comes back with a single-leg dropkick, but Tensai drops him with a throat thrust. Santino pops back up and hits some rights before doing the splits and going for the hip toss. Tensai blocks it, but Santino manages to duck a clothesline and hit a bodyslam. Saluting headbutt connects, and Santino calls for the Cobra. Tensai blocks it and applies a sleeper, but Santino keeps trying to hit the Cobra from this position. Tensai shoves him into the corner and goes for an avalanche, and Santino sidesteps him before nailing the Cobra. Tensai no-sells it and drops Santino with an uppercut. Tensai misses the running senton, and Santino covers him for the 3-count.

WINNER: Santino Marella.

We see Kofi Kingston and Team Hell No! watching a clip from last night. Kane tells Kofi to grow eyes in the back of his head tonight, because they all know The Shield is here, and what the group is capable of. Kofi says he feels what Kane is saying. He then tells Kane he wants payback on Wade Barrett in their match tonight. Bryan is looking angry, so Kofi asks him what’s wrong. Bryan is mad because he didn’t win a Slammy last night, unlike Kofi. Kane tells Bryan to let it go. He still got to hang out with Ric Flair. Bryan gets mad because Kofi says Flair has a better catchphrase than Bryan. Bryan begins screaming, “No!” at Kofi

MATCH 3: Wade Barrett and The Prime-Time Players (Titus O’Neil and Darren Young) vs. Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston and WWE Tag Team Champions Team Hell No! (Daniel Bryan and Kane)
Kofi and Titus start the match. Kofi ducks a clothesline and baseball slides to the floor in order to tackle Barrett who was standing near the announce desk. Titus pulls Kofi off by the hair and whips him to the floor. Back in, Young tags in, and Kofi hits a dropkick. Kofi makes the tag to Bryan, and Bryan fires off some No! Kicks. Bryan applies a surfboard stretch, and Kane tags in mid-hold. Kane clubs Young for 2. Kane stomps Young in the corner before tagging in Bryan. Kane sends Bryan into the corner with a running dropkick for 2. Bryan stomps Young down before firing off some more kicks. Young catches Bryan on a charge and hits him with a Stung Gun before tagging in Barrett, who stomps Bryan down. More strikes in the corner, and Barrett closes with a running boot for 2. Rear chinlock is applied, but Bryan fights out. Barrett clubs him and goes for a back suplex, but Bryan flips out and tags in Kofi. Kofi hits the springboard clothesline, followed by a chop, another chop and a dropkick. Kofi hits a jumping clothesline before connecting with the Boom Drop.

He calls for TIP, but Young causes a distraction, and Barrett takes the opportunity to clothesline Kofi to the floor. Titus whips Kofi into the barricade before throwing him back in the ring. Titus has apparently tagged in, and he goes for the cover, but is too close to the ropes. Titus applies a modified abdominal stretch, and the camera weirdly cuts away to the crowd, supposedly looking for The Shield. Young tags in and stomps Kofi in the midsection. Nice back suplex by Young gets 2. He applies a rear chinlock, but Kofi fights out. Young rebounds and whips him into the corner. Young applies a cravat, but Kofi breaks it. Young trips him before he can make a tag, and Barrett tags back in, hitting some hard rights. Short-arm clothesline by Barrett gets 2. Young back in and clubs Kofi down. Young props Kofi on the top, but Kofi punches him off and hits a leaping tornado DDT. Kane and Titus tag in, and Kane does the hot tag offense. Kane hits a corner clothesline and a sidewalk slam for 2. Up top for the flying clothesline, but Titus ducks and hits Clash of the Titus for 2. Bryan breaks up the pin, so Barrett launches him to the floor. Kofi springboards off the top, but Barrett ducks the clothesline and hits a mule kick before sending Kofi shoulder-first into the post. Kane drops Barrett with an uppercut, sending him to the floor. Titus floors Kane with a forearm and Young tags in. They go for a double shoulderblock, but Bryan manages to pull Titus to the floor. Young gets hit with the chokeslam by Kane, and this one’s over.

WINNERS: Kofi Kingston and Team Hell No!

Sheamus is in the back with John Cena, telling him a joke about priests. Cena doesn’t get the joke, but they need to focus on tonight. He calls Big E. Langston quite possibly the strongest guy in WWE. Sheamus likes that, because it’s his kind of fight. He asks Cena what’s going on with him and AJ. Cena whispers something to Sheamus, and Sheamus get a confused look on his face. Cena whispers some more, and Sheamus starts laughing. When Cena finishes the secret, he tells Sheamus he’s joking.

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WWE Champion CM Punk and Paul Heyman head out to the ring. Punk is still on crutches from his surgery, and we are informed this is Punk’s 394th day as champion. Punk reminds us of this achievement, the longest WWE Championship reign in the modern era. While in 20 years, everyone will look fondly at CM Punk as the greatest superstar of all time, the idiots in the WWE Universe couldn’t vote him “Superstar of the Year”. They shamelessly turned the Slammys into a popularity contest by voting for John Cena. It’s clear to him that winning and losing don’t mean anything to the fans. These fans enroll their kids in the teeball that doesn’t keep score so the kids don’t realize they’re losers like their parents. The only thing the fans did with their vote last night is that both men and women shouldn’t be allowed to vote. He expects that sort of behavior from losers, and that’s the way of the world. There are winners like himself and Heyman, and losers like everyone else. Honestly, he expected it more from Cena. You can read his face like a book. He knows he’s not the superstar of the year and Punk is the better man, with the trophy belonging in the hand of the best in the world. What does he do? He doesn’t show respect, because he’s a hypocrite. He laid down and sucked up to a man who he looks at as a legend, and gave Punk’s Slammy to Ric Flair.

He wants the fan to respect the relics from the past who take the spotlight when they can from the wrong lions, from the ring generals, from the best in the world. He wants us to cheer these guys that come back to pay their alimony and child support. You know what’s more impressive than winning 16 world titles in a 95-year career? Winning a title once and not losing it in damn near 400 days. CM Punk is a winner, Ric Flair is a loser. Flair has lost more title fights than he’s won. Punk, when it comes to title fights, DOES NOT LOSE. Not to John Cena, not to the knuckle-draggin Ryback, who hurt him in the first place. Punk is a real man. He is the gold standard, and he’s set the bar so high he doesn’t think anyone else will reach. Anyone else, two weeks after having their knee torn apart by a Neanderthal, wouldn’t be here. They’d be at home, popping their pain pills and sucking their thumbs. No, he drug himself to this forgotten hellhole (Pittsburgh) to entertain us and do his job. No one else here can do it, since the women they call the Pittsburgh Penguins are on strike. CM Punk doesn’t go on strike. CM Punk doesn’t have an off-season. He has been carrying this company on his back. He is the man you tune into see every Monday and Tuesday, and he is the man people paid to see tonight. He’ll be back next year, and Heyman will still be holding the title over his head. No one will beat him for it. Not John Cena, not Ryback, not Ric Flair, not The Smoke, not “Ice Cold” Billy Austin (that’s just for you, Mr. Gargiulo).

Ryback’s music hits to interrupt Punk’s rant, and he marches to the ring. Heyman reminds Ryback that Punk isn’t medically cleared to compete. Ryback says that, according to doctors, he will be. Punk doesn’t know what Ryback is talking about. Ryback has his sights set on the first RAW of 2013, when he becomes WWE Champion. Catchphrase.

MATCH 4: Ryback vs. WWE United States Champion Antonio Cesaro (non-title)
Cesaro’s new ring jacket is sweet. I’m not joking. Cesaro starts with a headlock, but Ryback breaks free and shoulders him through the ropes, to the floor. Cesaro gets up on the apron, shoulders Ryback and goes for a slingshot sunset flip. He can’t pull Ryback over, however, and Ryback grabs him by the ears and repeatedly slams his head into the mat, calling him “stupid”. Cesaro kicks him in the knee, and hits a European uppercut. Ryback comes back with a Thesz Press and a jumping splash. He calls for the Meat Hook, but Cesaro rolls to the floor. Ryback follows him out and presses him, but Cesaro slides out and shoves Ryback into the steps. Ryback makes it back into the ring by 9, so Cesaro goes for the pin, getting 1. Cesaro locks in a cobra clutch variation, but Ryback throws him off. He misses a shoulderblock in the corner, and Cesaro hits a spinning European uppercut from the middle rope for 2. Cesaro goes for another cover for another 2. He locks in a cravat, but Ryback punches out. He no-sells a kick, so Cesaro unloads on him with punches and uppercuts. Ryback rebounds off a corner whip with a standing avalanche, then hits a high back body drop. He calls for the Meat Hook again, and it connects. Cesaro is hit with Shell Shocked, and Ryback gets the 3.

WINNER: Ryback. Both guys looked good here. Mark my words, Cesaro will be a major player in the next year.

We see Kaitlyn walking around in the back. AJ approaches her and wishes her good luck. Kaitlyn gives her a dirty look and keeps walking, so AJ stops her and asks her about the look. Kaitlyn says AJ does this over and over again, and it makes it hard to be her friend. AJ starts to laugh-cry, then immediately turns it off and stares angrily at Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn says she has a title match, and AJ needs help. AJ accuses her of choosing a title match over her friend. Kaitlyn says no, she’s choosing a title match over the lunatic standing next to her. AJ decks her and rams her head into a 7-Up machine. Kaitlyn slams her on a table, and a catfight ensues for a brief moment before officials break it up as AJ is screaming.

MATCH 5-WWE Divas Championship: Eve Torres (Champion) vs. Kaitlyn
Lilian Garcia mispronounced both “Denver” and “Colorado”. How do you do that? The words are sound exactly as their spellings would indicate. Eve clotheslines Kaitlyn and slams her head into the mat repeatedly. Eve does her stupid crane kick, then actually botches a basic clothesline for 2. Eve steps on her face, then botches the holy hell out of the flipping senton for 2. Eve boots Kaitlyn to the floor, then slams her face into the apron before rolling her back into the ring for 2. Eve applies a rear chinlock, then turns it into a cross-face chicken wing. Of course, it’s not applied very well. Kaitlyn punches her way out, but runs into a complete shot for 2. Eve goes back to the hold, but Kaitlyn manages to roll her off. Kaitlyn gets Eve in a small package for 2, and Eve whips her into the corner. Kaitlyn blocks a charge with a boot, and gets a sunset flip in from the middle rope for 2. Kaitlyn hits a bodyslam, then a shoulderblock off the ropes for 2. She hits an inverted DDT for another 2. Kaitlyn goes for the gutbuster, but Eve grabs the ropes and pulls herself to the apron. Kaitlyn dropkicks her feet from underneath her, sending Eve to the floor. Kaitlyn follows outside, hitting a Thesz Press from the apron. She slams Eve’s head into the announce desk and rolls her back in the ring. Kaitlyn goes up top, but Eve grabs the ref’s leg and trips him, resulting in a DQ.

WINNER VIA DISQUALIFICATION: Kaitlyn, meaning Eve keeps the title. Not sure why Eve retained here. Does anyone give a cat’s ass about her anymore?

AJ is in the back with Ziggler and Langston, upset about Kaitlyn. Ziggler says Kaitlyn is just jealous, because AJ is with a future World Champion. Big Show walks up and says his future will be in a body cast if he repeats tonight what he did last night. Ziggler tries to smooth things over by talking about their tag match later tonight, but Show tells him to cut the crap. He knows Ziggler doesn’t trust him, and he doesn’t trust Ziggler. But, trust Show-if he gets the slightest inkling Ziggler is trying to cash in tonight, Show will knock him so far into the future, by the time he wakes up, his championship contract will have expired.

Brad Maddox makes his way onto the stage, repeatedly chanting his own name. No one in this arena or watching at home will ever forget the name Brad Maddox after tonight, because he is going to win his match and claim his contract, becoming a WWE superstar in the process.

MATCH 6-If Brad Maddox wins, he gets a WWE contract: Brad Maddox vs. Brodus Clay (w/The Funkadactyls: Cameron and Naomi)
Much like Tensai, what has become of Clay’s career is truly disappointing. Maddox tries a cheapshot, so Clay just laughs and bodyslams him. He traps Maddox by the arms and begins headbutting him in the back, then hits a modified exploder suplex. Clay drops an elbow, and we see Booker T & Teddy Long watching from Book’s office. Maddox rolls to the apron, where he hotshots Clay across the middle rope. Back in, Maddox goes for a pin, getting 1. He applies a rear chinlock, then drops some elbows. Clay pops right back up and clotheslines him. Avalanche by Clay, followed by an exploder suplex. He hits a charging headbutt to the chest, and Ah, Funk It! is enough to get the 3.

WINNER: Brodus Clay. As Clay begins to celebrate, the members of The Shield attack him from behind. They beat him down before hitting him with the triple powerbomb. Reigns is a friggin’ beast.

MATCH 7: Dolph Ziggler and World Champion The Big Show (w/AJ Lee and Big E. Langston) vs. Sheamus and John Cena
We see footage from Langston’s debut this past Monday night, and man, does his finisher suck. Cena and Ziggler start the match, and Cena knocks Ziggler down with a punch. Ziggler immediately tags in Show, and Cena attacks him before he steps all the way into the ring. Show knocks him down with a shove, then props him in the corner for an open-hand chop. Cena ducks and hits a dropkick, sending Show into the corner. Show quickly rebounds, dropping Cena with a spear. Show hits a body blow before stepping across his stomach. Cena gets up, and Show drops him with a headbutt. Ziggler tags in and hits some elbow drops before landing the Show-Off Elbow for 2. Neckbreaker connects, and now Ziggler has a rear chinlock applied. Cena fights out and hits a back body drop off the ropes. Show tags in and drops an elbow on Cena before he can make the tag. Show whips Cena into the corner before hitting a hip bump, knocking him down. Ziggler back in, and he misses a corner dive. Sheamus tags in, and he rams Ziggler into the corner with a shoulder thrust before connecting with a knee lift, sending Ziggler to the apron, where Sheamus ties him up for the forearm shots. Sheamus connects with 10 shots before going for the rolling fireman’s carry. He drops Ziggler in order to forearm Show, who was beginning to enter the ring. He knocks Show to the floor, and turns back to Ziggler to apply the Irish Clover Leaf. Ziggler kicks him off, through the ropes and to the floor. Show clubs Sheamus from behind. Ziggler tags Show, who drops to the floor in order to roll Sheamus back in the ring. Show hits an open-hand chop to the chest, then fires off some body blows in the corner.

Sheamus tries to fight back, but Show clubs him across the back, dropping him. He tries to fight back from his knees, so Show knees him in the head and walks across his stomach. Show applies a trapezius claw, but Sheamus gets up and fires off some rights. Show takes him down quickly, and Ziggler tags in for a 1-count. Ziggler hits some strikes in the corner, and now they trade rights until Ziggler kicks him in the knee and hits the rocker dropper for 2. Show tags back in, connecting with another body blow. Nightmare on Helms Street for 2. Show goes for the chokeslam, and Sheamus counters into a DDT. Ziggler and Cena both tag in, and Cena begins hitting the Five Moves of Doom. He connects with four, but the AA is interrupted by a body blow from Show. Sheamus comes in and clotheslines Show to the floor, and they begin brawling up the ramp. Cena goes for the AA again, and Ziggler counters with the Zig-Zag (resembling the original version of the move this time) for 2. Ziggler complains to the referee, and turns around into the Attitude Adjustment. Before Cena can make the pin, Langston runs through Cena, causing the DQ.

WINNERS VIA DISQUALIFICATION: John Cena and Sheamus. Langston picks Cena up after the bell rings, hitting the Big Ending for the second time tonight. God, that move sucks. And such a horrible name, too. Langston stands over Cena as AJ and Ziggler make out over Cena’s head. AJ then skips around the ring.

End of show.

As always, feel free to follow me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/xdustineflx, and if you like Married…With Children, you can follow my Al Bundy parody account at http://www.twitter.com/bundyisms. Also follow my personal blog at http://nerdslikeme.blogspot.com (feedback is welcome). Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out my mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:

Gerri Davis Banner, NPC National Level Heavyweight and Masters Female Bodybuilder

Thanks for reading, and I’ll see you next week.

-Dustin


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WWE Friday Night SmackDown Results November 2 and Report

November 04, 2012 By: Category: Videos, WWE | Pro Wrestling

WWE Friday Night SmackDown! starts off with “MizTV”. Miz says there are some shocking things going on in WWE right now. First off, the AJ/Cena fiasco. Second, Brad Maddox costing Ryback the WWE title at HIAC. This brings him to an incident that wasn’t so shocking, and also his guest tonight. Which move is more devastating, the WMD or the Brogue Kick?

In case you missed it, Sheamus got knocked out by The Big Show at HIAC and lost the title, so now Miz would like to introduce the former World Champion and his guest tonight, Sheamus. I have to admit seeing Sheamus hit Show with White Noise on RAW was pretty impressive. Miz says it’s been seven months since Sheamus was on SD! without the World title. His match at HIAC was incredible, but Sheamus must be embarrassed by getting knocked out cold by Show. He must feel like such a loser. Sheamus could ask Miz the same question. How did his IC title rematch go on Sunday? He sees Miz, but no championship. Sheamus is calling Miz a loser? Really? The difference between them is Miz has beaten Kofi Kingston and will do it again.

Sheamus, on the other hand, has never beaten Show and never will. Sheamus says he’d be lying if he wasn’t humbled by losing his title. Miz cuts him off and says he feels responsible for his loss. When Miz won for Team Johnny at Wrestlemania, John Laurinaitis fired Show, only to hire him back, which eventually led to him beating Sheamus for the title, so Sheamus can thank Miz for his loss. Sheamus asks if that means Miz should be the one who should get kicked in the face right now. Miz sees doubt in Sheamus’ eyes, and unlike him, Miz has never been humbled. When he gets his hands on Kingston, he’ll regain the IC title, because he’s the Miz…

Kofi Kingston interrupts things, calling Miz disoriented. He hasn’t been on “The Real World” in quite some time, but it seems like he’s lost touch with reality. How many times does Kofi have to kick him in the head to knock some sense into him? Miz needs to accept the fact Kofi beat him, then did it again, then did it again this past Sunday. Miz stops him and says he’ll lead his team to victory at Survivor Series, and will personally eliminate Kofi. He goes for his catchphrase again, but Show interrupts him this time. Show stops on the stage and says Miz shouldn’t be trying to take credit for his victory. Right now, he has to side with Kofi, and he does think there’s something wrong with Miz. For example, why is he interviewing the former champion, instead of the NEW champion? Why is he asking Sheamus what it was like to get KO’ed, instead of asking him how it was to knockout Sheamus? Miz says this is a good point, and asks him that very question. Show starts to describes it, then Sheamus asks him what kind of euphoria he felt when Sheamus hit him with White Noise on RAW. Show calls him delusional. Sheamus will have all of Show at Survivor Series. If he comes down right now, he’ll knock Sheamus out once more. He has nothing to prove tonight, so no, he’s not going to come down to the ring. Miz tries to charge at Kofi on this note, so Kofi backdrops him to the floor.

Later tonight, Randy Orton faces Wade Barrett in their rubber match. Sin Cara faces Darren Young next.

In the back, Booker T congratulates Show on winning the title. As far as Sheamus facing Show tonight, as GM, Book has to give the people what they want. So, as you would expect, he makes a match between the former ShowMiz vs. Kingston/Sheamus.

MATCH 1: Sin Cara (w/Rey Mysterio) vs. Darren Young (w/Titus O’Neil)
Young hits some punches, and Cara answers with a hurricanrana. He hits a headscissors before Young nails a clothesline. Neckbreaker gets 1 for Young. Cara fights out of a side headlock, and a roll-up gets 2. Young quickly goes back on offense with stomps and goes back to a chinlock. Cara rolls out of a back suplex and hits a middle rope dropkick. Handspring back elbow gets 2. Cara blocks another back suplex with a victory roll for 2. Cara bounces off the ropes, and runs right into Forever Young for the 3.

WINNER: Darren Young. Titus blows a whistle into the microphone after the match, before saying that just when these bumpkins thought Halloween was over, D. Young busted open that piñata in the ring. This is the case of a little dog getting in the ring with a big dog. With Titus being the good Samaritan that he is, he’s going to give a little dog another opportunity to get in the ring with a big dog, calling out Rey Mysterio for an impromptu match.

MATCH 2: Rey Mysterio (w/Sin Cara) vs. Titus O’Neil (w/Darren Young)
Rey dropkicks Titus in the knee, and Titus comes back with a low clothesline. Bodyslam gets 2. Rey escapes a second attempt, but Titus drops him with a boot. Rey dodges a second kick and chopblocks him. 619 is set up, but Titus catches Rey and rams him into the corner. He misses a shoulder tackle in the corner, and Rey rolls him up with a schoolboy for 3.

WINNER: Rey Mysterio.

We see Booker T and Teddy Long in Book’s office. Long expects mutiny on RAW under the leadership of Vickie Guerrero. Natalya walks in and asks to step in and be Book’s assistant while Eve is overseas. David Otunga interrupts and basically says the same thing. Book says he needs David tonight as a competitor, to take on a returning competitor, that being The Great Khali. David spits his coffee all over Nattie in response to this. He apologizes before calling the coffee spit an improvement. He takes another sip, and Nattie slaps it right out of his mouth, onto Teddy.

Orton/Barrett is next.

Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo Rodriguez are heading out to do color commentary for the next match.

MATCH 3: Wade Barrett vs. Randy Orton
Barrett has his jacket back, which makes me happy. ADR tries to attack Orton before the match, but Orton stops him. Ricardo Rodriguez causes a distraction, which allows ADR to beat Orton down outside. ADR slams Orton face-first into the ring post before the referees throw ADR and Ricardo out of the area. Commercials.

After the break, the match has already been started. Orton knocks Barrett to the floor, where he drops him back-first across the barricade. Back in the ring, Barrett nails Orton with a big boot and some mounted punches. Kneedrop gets 2. Barrett traps Orton in the ropes and hits some knee lifts before nailing the running boot, sending Orton back outside. Barrett heads out and slams Orton into the steps. Back in the ring, Barrett gets 2. Orton fights out of a rear chinlock with a back suplex. Barrett comes back with a quick mule kick and a running boot to the head. Barrett picks him up and nails some kidney shots and a short-arm clothesline for 2. The two trade blows and Orton starts to dominate until Barrett nails a kitchen sink for 2. Barrett mounts the middle rope, hitting an elbow drop for another 2. Barrett locks in a version of the camel clutch, which Orton tries to fight out of, but gets nailed with a bodyslam. Barrett goes for the middle rope elbow again, but Orton cuts him off. Orton goes up and hits the Ace Superplex. Orton hits the Four Moves of Boredom. ADR comes down after the DDT gets nailed, and Ricardo jumps on the apron. Orton knocks Ricardo down, and Barrett uses the distraction to roll Orton up with a schoolboy. He stacks Orton up, and gets the 3.

WINNER: Wade Barrett. Orton immediately heads toward the back, after ADR, who had just left the area.

Matt Striker stops ADR and Ricardo in the back, asking if it’s wise to persist in his attack against Orton. He calls Orton a little girl right before Orton nails him from behind. They brawl in the back, and Orton eventually grabs the coffee maker and throws the contents in Ricardo’s face before dumping spaghetti sauce all over him. ADR nails Orton with a kick, but Orton backdrops him through a table. They take turns trying to throw each other through a cake table, so Orton just throws him over another table. ADR flees, and Striker tries to get some comments from Orton. Orton slams his face into one of the cakes.

MATCH 4: The Great Khali vs. David Otunga
Otunga hits some kicks and a dropkick to the knee. Khali responds with a chop to the chest from his knees. Khali hits some back elbows in the corner, and a chop to the chest. Natalya is watching from the back. Otunga dodges a charge and manages to break the Punjabi Plunge, but gets nailed with the Brain Chop for the 3.

WINNER: The Great Khali.

Natalya stops Khali in the back and thanks him before commenting on his huge hands.

MATCH 5: Justin Gabriel vs. R-Truth
Truth with a shoulder off the ropes. Gabriel blocks a corner whip and mocks Truth’s dancing, resulting in Truth nailing him with the Lie Detector. Truth goes up top, but Gabriel moves out of the way and hits a dropkick. Kick to the back gets 1 for Gabriel. He locks in a modified abdominal stretch, and turns it into a pin for 2. Gabriel drops Truth with a jumping roundhouse, and a standing version gets 2. Gabriel hits a cross-body in the corner and goes outside for a springboard. Truth moves out of the way and quickly hits Lil’ Jimmy for the 3.

WINNER: R-Truth. The two shake hands after the match.

Miz and Show are in the locker room, and Miz makes a comment about them having no problem winning as teammates. Show says he’s not a teammate; he’s Miz’s superior, and if Miz doesn’t do what Show says, Show will knock him out tonight, too.

Next week, Orton and ADR will face off in a Falls-Count-Anywhere Match on a live episode of SD!

MATCH 6: Sheams and Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz and World Champion The Big Show
Miz and Kofi start the match, but Show immediately tags himself in. Kofi tags in Sheamus, so Show tags himself back out. Miz fires off some punches on Sheamus, and Sheamus hits some of his own. He blocks a hip toss and nails a clothesline on Miz. Kofi tags in and hits some kicks. Crisscross ends in a back elbow by Kofi before knocking Miz to the floor, where Kofi nails a suicide dive. Commercials.

Back from the break, Show is the legal man, and is dominating Kofi. Big open-hand chop to the chest on Kofi. Show hits a belly-to-back takedown and a hip throw. Kofi tries to fight back, but runs into a sidewalk slam. Miz tags in and hits a running boot to the face for 2. Modified camel clutch is locked in. Kofi tries to fight it off, but Miz drops him with the Reality Check for 2. Kofi fights out of another clutch attempt, but Miz blocks the tag. Kofi eventually kicks him off and tags in Sheamus, who drops Miz with his usual comeback set, ending with the tilt-a-whirl powerslam. Tied-up forearms follow. Rolling fireman’s carry slam for Miz, and Kofi tags back in, hitting a springboard cross-body for 2. Show breaks up the pin, so Sheamus knocks Show to the floor with the Irish Hammer. Kofi throws Miz to the corner for some mounted punches, but Show knocks him out with the WMD as the referee is trying to get Sheamus back to his corner. Miz easily picks up the 3.

WINNERS: The Big Show and The Miz. Miz celebrates after the match as Sheamus is seething, so Sheamus drops him with a big Brogue Kick.

End of show.

As always, feel free to follow me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/xdustineflx, and if you like Married…With Children, you can follow my Al Bundy parody account at http://www.twitter.com/bundyisms. Also follow my personal blog at http://nerdslikeme.blogspot.com (feedback is welcome). Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out my mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:

Gerri Davis Banner, NPC National Level Heavyweight and Masters Female Bodybuilder

Thanks for reading, and as long as Spike TV still fronts the bill, I’ll see you next week.

-Dustin

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WWE Hell In A Cell 2012 Results – Punk Retains, Show Wins

October 28, 2012 By: Category: WWE | Pro Wrestling

WWE Hell in a Cell 2012 was more anticipated for the finish of its main-event than anything else on the entire pay per view. CM Punk vs. Ryback would end a streak and continue another in what will become one of the most debated finishes of any match in this era.

CM Punk retained the WWE championship over Ryback. I am still not sure whether I liked the finish of this one or not. The match was actually pretty good, a lot better than I expected. The story here is that Punk was scared of Ryback throughout the match. Ryback was dominating Punk until Paul Heyman unleashed a fire extinguisher on Ryback from outside. Punk also used a kendo stick on Ryback. Once Ryback recovered he took control of Punk. Ryback finally got Punk up for Shellshock but referee Brad Maddox stopped him and nailed Ryback with a low blow, Punk rolled up Ryback, the referee counted a fast three and declared Punk the winner.

Ryback destroyed the referee as expected after the match. He then chased Punk all of the way on to the top of the cage. Ryback finally got Punk and dropped him on top of the cage. The crowd chanted “feed me more!” quickly forgetting that they just got screwed in a Hell in a Cell match. The WWE couldn’t have gotten a better reaction out of the fans if they coached them.

I do have to say this. I absolutely hate these spots at the top of the cage. It isn’t worth it and no matter how much you try, it isn’t safe. One of these days someone is going to get real hurt up there and it may not end pretty. You would think that the WWE would learn from some terrible lessons in the past that their superstars are wrestlers and not stuntmen.

I think that the WWE missed a golden opportunity here with Ryback. Do I think Ryback is the best wrestler on the roster? Of course not but they had something with Ryback that they haven’t had with a new star in a long time. They had a guy who was fresh and has not been tarnished by WWE booking. It was the first time in ages that they had an undefeated star ready to ascend to the next level. Every time they get ready to elevate a guy they beat him for months to the point that fans don’t believe in him when he finally gets there. The fans believed in Ryback and by their own dumb luck, they had the perfect situation to create a new superstar. Instead they played the status quo at a time when ratings are falling and buyrates are stagnant. I think they blew an opportunity that they won’t have in a long, long time.

The plus here is that Ryback closed the show strong. The fans were chanting, he went on a rampage, and the last scene of the show was Ryback standing atop of the cage. However, at the end of the day he still has a loss on his record. They’ll never get the undefeated streak back. The perfect scenario is gone. It is almost a lock that the road to WrestleMania stops at the Royal Rumble with Punk vs. Rock and Cena vs. Rock on the big show.

My guess is that they will come back at Tables, Ladders, and Chairs with some kind of a Triple Threat Match with Punk vs. Ryback vs. John Cena. Ryback is in a good place where you can get some mileage with him at the top for a few more weeks. But once TLC passes you’ll have just another guy on the roster that was beaten by the best. I wouldn’t be completely shocked to see some kind of a turn at TLC on Cena and go with a Cena vs. Ryback program through the Rumble, but that is just a complete guess.

In the other championship main-event, The Big Show defeated Sheamus to become the new WWE world heavyweight champion. This one was a lot better than I expected as well. Both guys kicked out of each others finisher but it was Sheamus kicking out of the WMD that stunned the crowd. Sheamus missed a second Brogue kick and was countered with another knockout punch. The Big Show scored the clean pin and a surprise win…at least to this blogger.

I have to wonder if this leads to a Dolph Ziggler babyface turn. Show did a promo later in the show saying that nobody in the WWE can beat him for the title. Ziggler teased that he would cash in at Hell in a Cell but it was not to be. I don’t necessarily think the time is ready yet for Ziggler, as he has been beaten quite a bit lately. However, a fresh babyface turn could be exactly what he needs. Regardless, my hunch is that Show is nothing more than a transitional champion here for Ziggler and to set up a possible Ziggler vs. Sheamus (babyface vs. babyface?) match at WrestleMania 29.

Once the show ended it all became clear. The Show title switch was a make-good of sorts to the fans in Atlanta and at home for screwing them in the main-event. I am convinced even more with the way the show ended that Show’s title reign will be a short one.

All in all it was a decent pay per view. The two main-events were entertaining and at times really fun to watch. I wouldn’t go out of your way to watch it, but I’d certainly give it a look once it gets to Netflix or your Walmart $5 DVD bin.

Full WWE Hell in a Cell 2012 results & winners…
CM Punk defeated Ryback to retain the WWE championship
The Big Show defeated Sheamus to win the WWE world heavyweight title
Eve defeated Kaitlyn and Layla to retain the WWE Divas Championship
Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara defeated the Primetime Players
Antonio Cesaro defeated Justin Gabriel to retain the WWE United States Championship:
Kofi Kingston defeated The Miz by pinfall to retain the WWE Intercontinental Championship:
Team Rhodes Scholars defeated Team Hell No via disqualification for the WWE Tag Team Championship
Randy Orton defeated Alberto Del Rio

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WWE Monday Night RAW September 24 Results & Live Blog – Jerry Lawler To Appear

September 24, 2012 By: Category: WWE | Pro Wrestling

Jerry Lawler-I’m not sure how much more of this I’m willing to put up with. I get that WWE is more image-conscious than ever, and they’ll take any opportunity to pat themselves on the back, especially with the election coming up. But after last week, when they took every opportunity to promote Jerry Lawler’s recuperative powers (while filming an awkward handshake with his doctor that Vince McMahon was allegedly insistent on recording)….I don’t know, it just reeks of “we all love each other, everything is okay, we’re number one.” A mention here and there once or twice updating fans on Lawler’s improving health would have been fine, not milking the crowd for cheers by showing him getting off a plane, or heavily promoting an interview with him for the following week.

They exploit him, but do we still love them? Sounds like a song I hear on Raw each week.

-Live from Albany, where “steamed hams” is a popular expression.

Opening Segment: Punk and Heyman in the ring

Punk’s turned into the Heath Slater/Tyler Reks of main eventers, not getting an entrance. It’s apparently a sit-in protest over the ending of last week’s Raw. In other news, somebody remembered what happened on Raw last week. They want the referee, some FCW kid named Brad Maddox, to resign. He’s awful photogenic for a referee. He refuses to resign, and Punk wants to know how he got his job. I’m sure Kevin Dunn was involved, Punker. Of course, this is all a satire to mock the NFL for their replacement officials, so it’s good to see that WWE still isn’t above needling more profitable and higher rated enterprises. Punk insults AJ over the hire, so we get the Skipper herself. Heyman asks her to overturn the decision, and she refuses, because it was a heel that got screwed, you see. And hey, WWE got what they wanted: a crowd to boo Punk lustily. Punk plays the footage of AJ’s bizarre proposal over the summer, and then rubs it in by revealing what a sex-crazed freak she was. Then a segment of the audience chants for Punk while AJ recoils. Heyman then tops the douchiness by proposing to AJ himself. “I’ll come with all the ideas, and you can take all the credit for my brilliance!” So she’s Stephanie? AJ slaps him and storms off.

Segment Rating: 6/10. Kinda dragged until Punk and Heyman out-douched one another. Then I chuckled.

-Then I get pissed as they plug the Lawler interview by showing an image of an unconscious Lawler with an oxygen mask. Screw this company.

-AJ threatens to fire Brad Maddox if he screws up again, while she zones out manically.

-Vickie is unable to talk through my mute button. Glad to see it still works.

Match 1: Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston

I need a good 20 minute match out of these two to cleanse my soul after that Lawler garbage. Vickie gets into an argument with Little Jimmy, so Truth douses her with a drink. Yep. Truth and Vickie get tossed, so there’s hope for a good match yet. Ziggler goes to the floor early and Kofi lands a flipping senton as we go to commercial. We return with Ziggler in control, where he hits an exploder suplex for 2. Kofi tries to come back, but Ziggler gets a picture perfect dropkick for 2. Kofi manages to mount the comeback, hitting the Boom Drop. TIP misses, Kofi avoids another exploder, and Dolph pushes off the SOS. Kofi nails a high kick in the corner, and lands a diving fist for 2. An elevated cross body gets another 2 count. Ziggler gets 2 off of something I completely missed while typing. Damn it, guys, call the moves! Kofi lands the SOS for a very close 2 and the fans are totally buying into this. A series of counters leads to Kingston landing the spinning cross body for another near fall. Trouble misses again, and Kofi is sent hard into the corner. Zig Zag finishes right after.

WINNER: Dolph Ziggler via Zig Zag

Rating: 8/10. Damn it, I wish that commercial was omitted. ***1/2 TV match that would have been a fine Saturday Night’s Main Event opener.

-Cena will update us on his injury! What, no image of him on a stretcher?

Kane and Bryan continue to assist WWE in beating one of their funnier ideas in a while into the ground. I miss the serious “I’ll kill you with science” D-Bry. Dr. Shelby leads Bryan and Kane through a roleplaying segment in which Kane is a waiter. Kane plays “Gerald”, and he gets angry, describing killing the cook because he was annoying and had a goat beard.

Match 2: Prime Time Players vs. Italian Iced Z
Ryder throats himself on a cross body attempt, and D-Young pounces with a chinlock. Santino tags in to turn the tide, getting the saluting headbutt for 2. 4 man skirmish leads to Ryder eating the post, but the Cobra comes out. O’Neil becomes the legal man without Santino realizing, and Clash of the Titus finishes.
WINNERS: Prime Time Players via Clash of the Titus
Rating: 2/10. Just a quickie to remind us that, yes, the PTP will still get a push.

Cheap Plug: my look at the NFC East, week 3. Pointing out Andy Reid’s follies will become commonplace, I’m sure. http://www.coldhardfootballfacts.com/content/nfc-east-giants-and-cowboys-surge-eagles-and-redskins-purged/17488/

In Ring Segment: Mick Foley
Always glad to see Mick, even if he’s not used as anything more than comic fodder these days. Ahh, but wait, Foley’s here to rail on Punk for bullying officials, employing Heyman, etc. This brings Punk out, so here’s hoping for an intelligent repartee. Punk bumps Foley intentionally on the way to get a mic, and then lambasts Foley for not talking to him to his face. Foley points out that he congratulated Punk after his big title win in July 2011, and Punk thanked him, because it meant a lot coming from Mick. Punk brushes it off, and Foley thinks Heyman changed Punk. He goes a step further, and claims that Heyman’s just using Punk. “Why does Punk need a mouthpiece?” Man has a point. Foley gives the moment of truth statement by asking Punk if he wants to be an inspiration or a Kool-Aid drinker. Talk turns to Hell in a Cell, and the dangers of the match. Foley wants Punk to face Cena in HIAC to prove that he’s the best in the world. Punk points out he’s already the best because he walked out of Night of Champions as champion. Punk declares Foley “beneath him.” Punk declares himself great by listing off the days he’s been champion, and Foley points out it doesn’t matter. Does Punk want to be a statistic, or a legend? The choice is Punk’s if he wants to give Cena that shot as Foley finishes with a flurry.
Segment Rating: 8/10. Stronger as it went along, and it builds sympathy for Punk if he accepts, and beats, Cena. I won’t bet on it.

Match 3: The Miz vs. Ryback (non title match)
Ryback takes control after shaking off some Miz strikes, and Miz gets bealed across the ring. Ryback powers out of the back/neckbreaker with an impressive powerslam. Miz rolls to the floor like any good heel, and Miz tricks him into slamming into the rail. Things go back and forth inside with Miz hitting the Stump DDT for 2. Front powerbomb brings Ryback back into it. A dumb fan charges into the ring as Ryback hits the Meat Hook. Shell Shock finishes.
WINNER: Ryback via Shell Shock
Rating: 4/10. Nifty extended squash where Miz got his shots in.

-Bryan and Kane have a heart to heart over dinner. They bond over mauling random people with chairs. Then they practically orgasm in a redux of When Harry Met Sally, with Mae Young playing the old lady. Meh, it was better when Angle and Hemme did it.

-AJ chats with the refs. “WWE doesn’t have instant replay and never will.” WWE: We invite incompetence. She then books a six man: Sheamus, Mysterio, and Sin Cara vs. Del Rio, Ricardo, and Otunga. Wow, half lucha legends, half developmental guys.

Match 4: Wade Barrett vs. Tyson Kidd
So glad they warped Barrett’s theme with a darker bass line. Kidd kicks away and takes Barrett down with a basement dropkick for 2. Barrett comes back with strikes and a big clothesline. A running kick knocks Kidd off the middle rope to the floor. Kidd comes back with a reverse cradle for 2, but Barrett rebounds with a spinning Winds of Change. Souvenir (short-arm into elbow stab) finishes.
WINNER: Wade Barrett via Souvenir
Rating: 4/10. Fun while it lasted. Barrett facing a ton of talented midcarders is a good way to fill time.

-Lawler interview. With all due respect, I’m glad he’s okay, but the constant shilling, bragging, and exploitation have actually made me angry. Glad he’s okay, like I said, and I hope he continues to get better, but you can thank WWE for killing what should be a positive, feel-good moment.

Match 5: Rey Mysterio/Sin Cara/Worst Babyface Ever vs. Alberto Del Rio/David Otunga/Ricardo Rodriguez
After two commercials, WBE nails Otunga with a shoulderblock off the apron, and the luchas get high (but not Evan Bourne high). Rodriguez, in tux, tags in and takes a beating from Sin Cara. Kudos to JR for referencing all the “Mexican wrestling history” in the ring. Ricardo goes for Cara’s mask, but eats a headscissors for his efforts. Mysterio and ADR are in, and Rey is enzuigiried off the top for 2. Otunga in, and he slams Mysterio before tagging Ricardo, who covers the downed Rey for 2. Del Rio gets another enzuigiri on Rey, as I could watch these 2 all day. Mysterio ends a Del Rio run with a basement dropkick to the face. Tags are made to Otunga and WBE, and Otunga is predictably mauled. Ricardo in, and he takes the comedy beating, with Sin Cara finishing with the senton. Otunga is Brogued after, just because.
WINNERS: WBE, Rey Mysterio, and Sin Cara via Senton
Rating: 6/10. Anything with Rey and Del Rio was good stuff. Give Del Rio a better partner (i.e. Dolph or Cody) against Rey/Cara, and I’m in.

-Kane and Bryan try each other’s meals to see how the other lives life. Kane eats lettuce, and Bryan has a meatball, against his vegan beliefs. Kane belches, and Bryan loses his lunch on the doctor. I think the wheels are coming off these segments.

-Kane and D-Bry’s new team name: Team Hell No. Good. Then the Rhodes Scholars (Rhodes and Sandow) jump them, because it’s awesome.

Match 5: Layla/Alicia Fox vs. Eve Torres/Beth Phoenix
Layla lands her springing cross body on Beth, and Alicia gets all dropkicky. Eve finishes things in short order with a neckbreaker on Alicia.
WINNERS: Eve Torres/Beth Phoenix via Neckbreaker
Rating: 1/10. It’s a match.

-Kaitlyn’s out on a crutch, but the crowd has no clue who she is. Apparently, her attacker at Night of Champions was a blonde. Eve in a wig, got it. Eve beats up the TNA-bound Beth as a ‘solid’ for Kaitlyn.

Match 6: Brodus Clay vs. Tensai
Whoever’s idea it was to show pictures of Lawler near death tonight, I hope Cameron’s driving them home. No Sakamoto, it should be noted. Clay wins the headbutt battle and gets the modified exploder, but Funk It misss. Tensai misses the running senton. Then Big Show’s music hits. Be still Vince’s throbbing jackhammer. Tensai gets WMDed, as is Clay. And that’s that.
WINNER: Tensai, hypothetically, via DQ
Rating: 2/10. Kinda fun while it lasted, actually.

Talk Segment: John Cena
Cena tries to play it like his elbow injury could be career ending, just to scare the rubes. He thanks the fans for supporting the Susan G Komen Foundation, and a lot of fans boo him anyway. That’s kinda funny, actually. Cena then goes on an inane, substitute-worded “tirade” on Punk, and guarantees nothing more than he’ll be at Hell in a Cell, but won’t guarantee victory, given his elbow. This brings Punk out, with Heyman in tow. Punk subtly calls Albany a dump while correctly pointing out Cena’s incorrect rants against him. His reign won’t be ending at Cena’s hands, he sayeth. Punk won’t accept Cena’s challenge, and the fans actually chant his name, albeit lightly. Punk advises Cena to run while he still can, because if he doesn’t leave on the count of five, Punk’s gonna hurt em. Punk turns and counts, and Cena’s armed with a lead pipe. He hits Punk in the ribs, because he’s a coward.
Segment Rating: 4/10. I’m still cheering Punk. I don’t care.

-Punk staggers away, encountering Foley backstage. After a beat, he attacks Mick, leaving him laying with one shot. Then, for some reason, Ryback scares Punk off. And yeah.

OVERALL: A few good matches (Dolph-Kofi, six man tag) and the Foley segment made it worthwhile, but a fairly middling episode of Raw otherwise.

Justin Henry is a freelance writer whose work appears on many websites. He provides wrestling, NFL, and other sports/pop culture columns for CamelClutchBlog.com, as well as several wrestling columns a week for Wrestlechat.net and WrestleCrap.com. Justin can be found here on Facebook – http://www.facebook.com/notoriousjrh and Twitter- http://www.twitter.com/cynicjrh.

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