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WWE SmackDown Results April 19 and Recap

April 22, 2013 By: Category: WWE | Pro Wrestling

This week’s WWE SmackDown! opens with Fandango and Anonymous Broad heading down to the ring. Lilian Garcia enters the ring, and Fandango begins fondling her. He tells her she’s looking excellent tonight, then asks if she’s ever been dipped before. Have you ever made moves on anyone before? Lilian, have you ever Fandangoed before? It feels good. Real good. Fandango then spins her and goes to kiss her, but instead dips her before telling her that was terrible. Fandango then drops Lilian in the middle of the ring. He tells her she’s beautiful, but there’s nothing beautiful about the way she dances. You’re just like each and every one of these people who butcher his name and mock his dance. Can you at least pronounce his name correctly? Pay attention: It’s FAN…

Santino Marella comes out on the stage and calls him “Fandingo”. Fandango is a very rude person, the way he talks to the WWE Universe and the way he just treated Lilian. Hi, Lilian. It pains Santino to admit it, though: Fandango has some good moves. That dance looks like so much fun. In fact, he really hopes if the WWE Universe doesn’t mind if Santino does his version. But first, he’d like to introduce his dance partner…it’s the Cobra. Together, they are going to do a 2-step all over Fandango’s face. Santino begins dancing to Fandango’s entrance theme, getting in Fandango’s face in the process. Fandango eventually charges at Santino, but Santino low-bridges him to the outside.

MATCH 1: Fandango (w/Anonymous Broad) vs. Santino Marella
Fandango immediately attacks Santino and throws him to the corner. Santino counters a corner whip and mocks Fandango, so Fandango kicks him. Boot to the head by Fandango, and now some mounted punches. Santino fails at a kip-up, so Fandango stomps him some more. The “You can’t wrestle!” chants have already started. Forearm shots in the corner by Fandango, and then he slams Santino face-first into the mat. Santino once again fails at a kip-up, and Fandango goes for more mounted punches before applying a cravat. Fandango snaps him back to the mat, then rubs himself. Santino succeeds at the kip-up this time, hits some rights, does the splits and hits a hip toss and a saluting headbutt. He goes for the Cobra, but Fandango blocks it and hits a variation of the Flatliner to get the 3.

WINNER: Fandango.

We see Booker T and Teddy Long in Book’s office. Book tells Teddy things are different now. Teddy didn’t consult him when making a match Monday night between Swagger and Ziggler. The Big Show walks in and thanks Teddy for giving him a tag team partner against Sheamus and Orton. Unlike some who put him in a handicap match, Teddy had the foresight to make sure he’s in a situation where he won’t get injured. Book then stares at Teddy as Teddy leaves.

MATCH 2-Champion vs. Champion: WWE United States Champion Kofi Kingston vs. Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett (non-title)
Lock-up to start, and Wade backs Kofi into the corner. Kofi ducks a right and hits some kicks. Wade counters an arm wringers with a right hand, then begins hitting some elbows to the back of the head. Kofi flips out of an arm wringer and snaps off a hurricanrana for 2. Wade shoulders Kofi off the ropes, and a crisscross ends with a dropkick by Kofi for 2. Kofi applies a top wristlock, and Wade fights out before hitting some straight left jabs. Kofi ducks one and hits a side-Russian legsweep before hitting a kick to the chest. Kofi hits a springboard splash from the middle rope for 2. Wade begins to fight back, but runs into a Pendulum by Kofi. Kofi goes up top, but Wade boots him in the face, sending him to the floor. Wade follows outside, where he continues striking Kofi before slamming him into the announce desk. Back in the ring, Wade rolls Kofi over for the pin, getting 2. Wade sets Kofi horizontally across the top rope, hitting a running kneelift to the gut. Wade goes for the pin again, getting another 2 before applying a rear chinlock. Kofi fights out of the hold with lefts and rights until Wade hits a kneelift and sends Kofi to the corner. Kofi blocks the charge and mounts the middle rope, but Wade whips him back to the mat for 2. Wade drops an elbow off the ropes before going back to the chinlock. Kofi fights out once more, ducks a clothesline, ducks another and gets caught with the Winds of Change. He tries to counter the move into a crucifix, but Wade drops backward into a modified Samoan drop for 2. Kofi holds on and counters the pin into a crucifix and gets the 3.

WINNER: Kofi Kingsotn. Not the best outing for these two, but still a solid match. These two are pretty much always guaranteed to deliver when they face each other.

Renee Young stops Mark Henry in the back to ask why he’s been attacking Sheamus. He says it’s because he can, and that’s just what he does. Sheamus then runs in and tackles Henry through a table and tells him that’s what he does, fella. These two feuded once before, and it was surprisingly entertaining, so I’m okay with WWE renewing this feud.

MATCH 3: Alberto Del Rio (w/Ricardo Rodriguez) vs. Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Colter)
ADR starts with a side headlock, and Swagger immediately goes to the injured left leg. ADR attacks Swagger’s injured shoulder, causing a clean break. ADR goes into a waistlock, and Swagger counters. ADR counters into an armbar, but Swagger fights him off. Swagger hits a kneelift and a hip throw. ADR shoves him off, and Swagger hits a shoulderblock. They go for a crisscross, but ADR lands badly on his injured leg. Swagger capitalizes and kicks him in the knee before dragging him to the ring post from the outside. ADR fights him off, kicking him into the barricade. ADR heads outside and nails Swagger with a kick to the chest before slamming the bad arm into the steps. Back in the ring, ADR goes for the pin and gets 2. ADR kicks Swagger between the shoulders for another 2. Swagger blocks a suplex and hits his own. Back up, ADR counters a corner whip. Swagger back drops him coming in. ADR lands on the apron, but his leg gets caught on the top rope. Swagger hotshots the leg, then knocks ADR to the floor. Commercials.

Back from the break, Swagger has a step-over toehold applied on ADR. ADR kicks him off, then hits a big kick to the bad arm. He jumps off the middle rope, and Swagger shoulders him in the bad leg on the way down for 2. Swagger drags ADR to the middle where he applies a legbar. ADR punches his way out of the hold. Back up, he ducks a clothesline and counters into a crucifix for 2. Swagger gets back up and hits a shoulderblock. Foot choke by Swagger now, but ADR begins to fight back. Swagger backs ADR into the corner and hits a series of kneelifts before working over the bad leg through the ropes. Swagger hits a short-arm clothesline, getting 2. Swagger begins ripping the bandage off of ADR’s knee and strikes it before going for the step-over toe hold again. ADR punches Swagger off and goes for the step-up enziguri, but Swagger ducks and hits an elevated belly-to-belly suplex for 2. ADR rolls to the apron, and he applies a jujigatame on the bad arm over the top rope. Back in, they trade strikes until Swagger kicks the bad knee. ADR ducks a running boot and hits a pair of clotheslines and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. However, ADR does it over his bad knee, putting himself down in the process. Swagger rolls to the apron, and ADR pulls him through the middle rope, hitting some forearm shots to the back and a Backstabber for 2. ADR calls for the rolling jujigatame, but Swagger counters and picks him up. ADR counters into a sunset flip for 2, then locks Swagger into the jujigatame. Swagger counters into the Patriot Lock. ADR manages to get a rope break, so Swagger breaks it and hits a Swagger Bomb to the back for 2. ADR tries to counter the Swagger Bomb the second time, but Swagger grabs the feet. He goes for the Patriot Lock again, but ADR kicks him in the bad arm and hits a double-knee armbreaker. ADR picks Swagger and goes for the rolling jujigatame, but Swagger shoves him off to the floor on the outside. ADR makes in before the count and hits a thrust kick to the face, getting 2 as Swagger grabs the ropes. Swagger trips ADR and gets the Patriot Lock on, but ADR rolls through and applies the jujigatame. Swagger gets back to his feet and tries to pin ADR, but ADR rolls through and rolls him into a pin for 3.

WINNER: Alberto Del Rio. Match was so-so, but had a nice finish.

We get a video for the Ryback/Cena feud. I don’t know if they’re planning on turning Ryback full heel right now, but it might not be a bad idea.

The announcers are talking about The Shield when the group interrupts. They talk about beating down John Cena this past Monday night, as well as Ryback watching on as Cena got beat down without helping out. Ryback knows how justice feels. He doesn’t want any more of their justice, and the look on Ryback’s face on Monday night was the same as the face on the Undertaker two weeks ago. They saw fear in ‘Taker’s eyes. He was terrified, and has never been so relieved to see Kane and Daniel Bryan. ‘Taker may be undefeated at Wrestlemania, but The Shield are undefeated, period. ‘Taker has run the company for 20 years, but all legends eventually get pushed aside, and ‘Taker’s time is up. Believe in The Shield.

MATCH 4-6-Person Tag Team Match: The Great Khali, Hornswoggle and Natalya vs. Epico, Primo and Rosa Mendes
I am still standing by my policy that matches involving Hornswoggle as a legal competitor will not be recapped. I apologize to his fans out there, but I’m sure both parents understand. Rosa looks good at least. This match apparently came about after an altercation in the parking lot between the two teams. Khali pins Epico after a Punjabi Plunge.

WINNERS: The Great Khali Hornswoggle and Natalya.

“From the Vault” segment featuring Berserker vs. “Superfly” Jimmy Snuka from 1991. Did anyone else find it strange when Snuka inexplicably started wearing boots to wrestle in when he spent so many years doing it barefoot? And speaking of footwear, I remember when Berserker joined WCW and started wrestling as John Nord. Despite no longer doing the Viking-type gimmick, Nord continued to wear the big furry boots for his matches, which was really weird.

MATCH 5: Mark Henry and The Big Show vs. Randy Orton and Sheamus
Sheamus and Henry start the match and begin yelling at each other. Henry decides to immediately tag in Show instead of fight. Show comes in, and the two immediately trade punches with Show getting the best of it. He drops Sheamus over the top rope onto the apron, then hits several open-hand chops to the chest, knocking Sheamus to the floor. Back in the ring, Sheamus cuts Show off on the apron with a hotshot, then nails Show with several forearms to the chest. Show shoves Sheamus into the corner, and Sheamus boots him in the knee before going up top. Show sees the Battering Ram coming, and Sheamus lands on his feet. He turns around into a kick from Show. Show goes for an elbow drop, but misses. Orton tags in and fires off some rights until Show throws him to the corner. Orton fights out, but gets hit with a sidewalk slam off the ropes. Headbutt by Show, and now Henry tags in. He chokes Orton over the middle rope. Orton fights back with rights before getting caught in a bearhug. Orton fights his way out, but Henry picks him up and rams him into the corner by Show. Show tags in and hits a body blow on Orton, knocking him down. Show hits another one in the middle of the ring. Orton begins to fight back, but runs into a goozle. However, he counters the chokeslam into a DDT. Sheamus tags in, ducks a clothesline and hits a pair of flying forearms. He rams Show into the corner, hits a running kneelift and follows up with a Battering Ram. White Noise connects, and now Sheamus calls for the Brogue Kick. He sees Henry run towards Show on the apron, so Sheamus knocks him down before getting hit with a spear by Show. Commercials.

Back from the break, Show knees Sheamus in the head. Sheamus tries to fight back from his knees, but winds up running into a clothesline. Show hits the Final Cut for 2. Bodyslam by Show, and now he tags in Henry. Henry applies a trapezius claw. Sheamus fights out before running into a big boot by Henry, which gets 2 as Orton breaks up the pin. Show tags in and hits a running body blow on Sheamus as Henry holds him up. Sheamus falls into the corner, where Show hits another body blow. He stumbles across the ring to another corner, and Show hits an open-hand chop. Sheamus starts hitting some rights until Show hits a kneelift and applies a trapezius claw of his own. Show picks Sheamus up and hits a forearm across the back before going back to the claw. Show throws Sheamus to the corner and hits a running hip bump. He goes to the ropes, and Sheamus comes out of the corner with a chopblock. Orton and Henry tag in. Orton ducks a clothesline, hits some kicks and punches, ducks a clothesline and finally knocks Henry down with one of his own. Orton hits a DDT on Henry from Henry’s knees, getting 2. Henry rolls to the apron, and Orton goes for the suspended DDT. Show comes in and hits Orton across the back. Henry tags Show in, and as Show is climbing in over the top rope, Orton catches him with the suspended DDT. Orton calls for the RKO, but Henry comes in and clotheslines him. Sheamus tackles Henry through the ropes, sending them both to the floor. Show gets up and hits the chokeslam on Orton, getting 3.

WINNERS: The Big Show and Mark Henry.

End of show.

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WWE Wrestler of the Week: April 12th – 18th, 2013

April 19, 2013 By: Category: WWE | Pro Wrestling

This week’s edition WWE Wrestler of the Week will prove to you how absurd WWE’s booking is in terms of matches fans see on Raw and Smackdown. There are four candidates for WWE Wrestler of the Week, but three candidates’ 2-0 record occurred via the same match. This means that WWE repeated the same exact match on Raw and Smackdown this week. This wouldn’t be the first time WWE has repeated matches. However, the fact that three matches were repeated in the same week is overkill.

The first candidate for this week’s award is Team Hell No who scored two victories over the Prime Time Players this week. The tag team division seemed to be on the rise when Daniel Bryan and Kane joined forces. However, we constantly see Team Hell No defeat Darren Young and Titus O’Neil almost every week. WWE needs to utilize the tag teams they have more and develop new tag teams. There has been a ton of criticism for the tag team division over the last few years, but WWE seems to be just giving up by booking the same match every show.

The next candidate is the team of Randy Orton and Sheamus, also known as the Celtic Vipers. Orton and Sheamus scored two victories over Big Show, both in handicap matches. It baffles me why WWE booked this match again. It seemed as though WWE was going to book a triple threat match between the three superstars at Extreme Rules in May. However, Sheamus and Randy Orton have been on the same page throughout their time as a tag team. Plus, Mark Henry has been attacking Sheamus as of late. Orton and Sheamus seem to be stuck in this upper midcard to lower main event level without anywhere to go. If WWE wants to keep Orton and Sheamus together, they should join the tag team division.

The next candidates are the Bella Twins who scored victories over Kaitlyn twice this week, but in different situations. On Smackdown, the Bella Twins teamed with Tamina against Kaitlyn and the Funkadactyls. Then on Raw, Nikki Bella was victorious over Kaitlyn in a non-title divas match. Nikki Bella was able to score the win by using twin magic and having her sister, Brie, slide into the ring and score the pin. The referee even raised both Bella Twins’ hands, which made the whole situation look a lot worse. The Bella Twins make a better case for the win this week since their two matches weren’t identical. In addition, it is rare to see a divas match on WWE TV these days. Getting two wins over the divas champion is that much more impressive. Perhaps WWE will move the title back to the Bella Twins once again.

The final candidate for WWE Wrestler of the Week is Kofi Kingston, who scored two victories over Antonio Cesaro. Kofi’s first win over Cesaro was on Smackdown in a non-title match. Then, Kofi was able to defeat Cesaro for the title on Raw. This came as a shocking turn of events after Cesaro’s eight month reign as champion. I went into much greater detail about Kofi’s win and what it means in a different article. Kofi has to be a transitional champion for the next up and coming WWE heel, but Cesaro’s loss should have occurred on pay-per-view to a superstar higher up on the card.

It would be difficult to give the award to Team Hell No or the Celtic Vipers since they had the exact same match on Raw and Smackdown. Therefore, it is between the Bella Twins and Kofi Kingston. The Bellas were impressive against Kaitlyn this week. Kingston may deserve the win after winning the U.S. title, but as discussed before, he is most likely a transitional champion.

Who do you think deserves the WWE Wrestler of the Week? Please share your thought and opinion in the comment section below.

Be sure to check out Camel Clutch Blog each and every Friday to debate the new WWE Wrestler of the Week!

Seth M. Guttenplan is a WWE Featured Columnist for Bleacher Report and host of OH YOU DIDN’T KNOW!? PWPRadio’s weekly radio show covering all wrestling news and rumors. To read more from Seth follow him on twitter (@sethgutt) and check out guttwrenchpowerblog.com. You can also like GWP on Facebook here.

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WWE SmackDown Results April 12 and Recap

April 14, 2013 By: Category: WWE | Pro Wrestling

This week on WWE Friday Night SmackDown, Triple H will appear for the first time in a long time. Also, the NEW World Champion Dolph Ziggler will be making an appearance. I cannot tell you how excited I am to finally see him wearing the gold (yes, I know he was champ for 15 minutes once, but even Ziggler himself doesn’t count that reign).

Big E. Langston makes his way onto the stage to formally introduce the new champ. Ziggler, AJ Lee and Langston make their way down to the ring. Ever since he debuted, he’s been the most physically gift athlete in wrestling, and that’s an understatement. People would look at him and just knew that he was the future of the company, and this World title proves the future is now. Each and everyone of you feels like you’re a part of this. You chanted for him at Wrestlemania despite not being in the match. Then, the next night at RAW, when he made history…the WWE Universe would love to join in on this celebration. But the fact is that the title and that moment belong to only one person, and that’s Dolph Ziggler. He didn’t win the belt because of the fans; he did it in spite of us. All of his life, people have ridden his coattails for whatever reason, but no matter what, you will never be him when you look in the mirror…

Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter appear on stage, and Zeb has a mic in-hand. Ziggler isn’t happy and wants to know what they’re doing out here. Zeb formally introduces himself to Ziggler, and he congratulates Ziggler for what happened on Monday night. Beyond that, as far as the title is concerned, everyone in the WWE Universe knows who to thank for Ziggler’s success, and that’s Jack Swagger. Ziggler says this is his interview time and celebration. Jack, you had your chance at Wrestlemania and you blew it, so go to the back of the line. This is Ziggler’s time. Swagger starts to get in the ring, but then backs down when he realizes he’s outnumbered. Zeb tells Ziggler he should be grateful and give Swagger what he wants and deserves. The feed I have scrambles here, so I’m not sure what was said next by Zeb or Swagger. Ziggler tells them to stop playing Swagger’s music, then says that you can watch what happened on Monday night on DVR, but no one will ever be…

Alberto Del Rio now interrupts. Ziggler asks if ADR is here to steal the spotlight, or if he’s just bummed out because he’s no longer champion. Or, is he out here to get his rematch? If that’s the case, hobble on down and he can have the rematch right now. ADR says he didn’t come out to complain or anything; he came out here to say congratulations. He knows how it feels to cash in the MITB contract. That’s how he won the WWE title, and it feels great. But, when his ankle heals and he gets his rematch, Ziggler will be the one crying and complaining, perro. Until then, hasta la vista, baby.

Ziggler then asks for ADR’s music to be cut off. This is HIS night and HIS celebration. He’s sick of being interrupted. The next person that feels like they need to interrupt him will see why he is the real World Heavyweight Champion. No one comes out for a moment, and as Ziggler starts to talk again, Chris Jericho interrupts. Jericho asks him to please shut the hell up. Congratulations on winning the title, but you’re babbling about everything, including your crazy girlfriend AJ. AJ covers her ears and begins to scream as the fans chant “Crazy!” at her. Ziggler talks about being a show-off; Y2J is the original show-off, baby. It’s time to stop talking and start rocking. Jericho just came from Booker T’s office, and he had some very interesting information for everyone, including Ziggler. He refers to Ziggler’s fans as “Dolphins”. The news is that his very first match as champion is going to be Jericho himself, and it will be later tonight. And when you’re finished with the match, Ziggy Stardust, you will never, ever, EVER be the same again.

You know, JBL is a decent color commentator, but hearing him say “We fight on Friday night” all the damn time is really obnoxious.

MATCH 1: The Prime-Time Players (Titus O’Neil and Darren Young) vs. WWE Tag Team Champions Team Hell No! (Daniel Bryan and Kane; non-title)
I am amazed Kane and Bryan are still champions. I was certain Ziggler and Langston were going to win on Sunday. Oh, well. Ziggler’s WHC now, so it’s all good. Titus starts off with strikes on Kane. Kane counters into a pair of corner clotheslines. Up top, Kane hits a flying clothesline and calls for the chokeslam. Young tags himself in and runs into an uppercut. Bryan in now, and Kane sends him into Young with a corner whip into a corner dropkick. Bryan fires off some No! Kicks, but telegraphs a back body drop. Titus back in and Bryan ducks a double clothesline. Kane comes back in and chokeslams Young. Bryan applies the No! Lock on Titus, and Titus taps out.

WINNERS: Team Hell No! Man, that was short. The Shield appear on the TitanTron after the match and Dean Ambrose talks about the Brothers of Destruction reuniting, and hopes they don’t think The Shield is afraid. Gotta have a brain to survive, and that’s knowing where and when to strike. They don’t back down or ever run from a fight. Believe that. Believe in The Shield.

MATCH 2: Santino Marella vs. Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett (non-title)
Barrett starts with a side headlock before shouldering Santino down. Santino shoves him and ducks a clothesline, but Barrett nails a mule kick to the gut and hits an elbow to the back of the head for 1. Santino tries to kip up, but can’t do it. Barrett goes into a mount and hits some punches for 2 before going to a rear chinlock. Santino fights out, but gets hit with a knee to the gut. He avoids being sent into the corner before running into the Winds of Change for 2. Barrett signals for the Bull Hammer as Santino finally does the kip-up correctly. He ducks a clothesline, hits a few punches, a hip toss and a saluting headbutt for 2. Santino goes for the Cobra, but Barrett kicks the arm away and absolutely levels Santino with the Bull Hammer for 3.

WINNER: Wade Barrett.

Teddy Long and Booker T are in Book’s office talking when Sheamus interrupts. He wants to know why Book overruled him on Monday night, then booked a match against Randy Orton later on. Randy Orton steps in and is basically complaining about the same thing. Book starts to explain when Teddy interrupts. He says this is Book’s mistake, not his. Book says that Big Show was wrong, and he’s going to right that wrong. Both Sheamus and Orton want Show, and they’ve got it in a 2-on-1 Handicap match tonight. After they leave, Book then stares at Teddy.

MATCH 3: The Bella Twins (Brie & Nikki) and Tamina Snuka vs. The Funkadactyls (Cameron & Naomi) and WWE Divas Champion Kaitlyn
Kaitlyn and Snuka start the match, and Snuka immediately goes on the attack, knocking Kaitlyn down. Kaitlyn quickly recovers with a spear and goes for the pin. One of the Bellas breaks it, so Kaitlyn spears her. The other Bella tags in, and Naomi tags in, hitting a springboard cross-body and a flying headscissors. Rear View connects, and Naomi mounts the middle rope, but the other Bella yanks her to the floor. Cameron takes her out on the floor, and in the ring, one of the Bellas whips Naomi down by the hair and gets the 3.

WINNERS: The Bella Twins and Tamina Snuka. A hair whip ends the match? For f*ck’s sake.

Triple H makes his way out to the ring now. He says he told us the ass kicker’s back. He told Brock Lesnar they wouldn’t wrestle or fight, but that they were going to war. Well, they went to war, and Paul Heyman can make any excuses…

3MB of all people interrupt Trips’ celebration. Heath Slater tells Trips to shut up and listen up. Apparently, around here, you have to jump one of the big dogs to get noticed, and what bigger dog is there than Triple H? You think that battle with Brock Lesnar was bad? You ain’t seen anything yet, because 3MB is about to rock your face. 3MB surround the ring as Trips throws down the leather jacket. Before they can attack, The Shield’s music hits, and we see them coming down through the crowd. The Shield yank the members of 3MB off the aprons and destroy them on the floor before staring Trips down in the ring. They now jump on the apron, but before they can attack, Team Hell No! hits the ring to even things up. The Shield decides to head for higher ground.

In Booker T’s office, we see Book and Teddy arguing. Big Show enters, so Teddy leaves. He asks about the match tonight, and Book says it’s because he stuck his nose in business that didn’t concern him. Show says this is typical of Book’s bias against him. How about Show messes up his plans and just leaves the building? With his iron-clad contract, he can do what he wants. Book tells him to go ahead, because he’ll do whatever he can to get that contract destroyed in court. If Show wants to stay, though, his match is next.

MATCH 4-2-on-1 Handicap Match: Randy Orton and Sheamus vs. The Big Show
Orton starts for his side and attacks Show with kicks and punches. He corners Show and hits more punches and kicks. Show hits a sidewalk slam off the ropes before walking across Orton’s stomach. Show hits a body blow, then follows up with a bodyslam before mounting the middle rope, missing an elbow drop. Sheamus tags in, tackles Show and hits some punches. Sheamus hits a pair of Irish Hammers and a clothesline before shouldering Show in the corner and hitting a running kneelift. However, Show rebounds and hits Sheamus with a spear before nailing Orton with another body blow. Show grabs Orton, but Orton surprises him with an RKO. Sheamus calls for the Brogue Kick now, nails Show and sends him to the floor. Show manages to get to his feet, but instead of going back to the ring to make the count, he heads up the ramp instead.

WINNERS VIA COUNT-OUT: Randy Orton and Sheamus.

We see Orton and Sheamus heading back to the locker room, and they’re happy about getting some revenge. Orton walks off as Renee Young stops them for an interview. Sheamus tells her it did take two of them to take Show down, but it still felt sweet, and heart is what matters, not how big and strong you are. As Sheamus says this, Mark Henry clobbers Sheamus from behind, sending him through a table.

MATCH 5: WWE United States Champion Antonio Cesaro vs. Kofi Kingston (non-title)
Cesaro starts with an armbar. Kofi flips out of it, but gets clobbered. Cesaro hits some mounted forearm shots, then nails a straight right. Kofi comes back with a sunset flip for 2, but Cesaro rolls through and nails Kofi for 2. The deadlift gutwrench suplex hits, and now Cesaro yodels before hitting a running European uppercut in the corner for 2. Cesaro applies a mounted rear chinlock before just whipping Kofi down. He misses the double stomp, and Kofi hits a pair of double chops and a dropkick. He goes for the leaping clothesline, but Cesaro counters with a Very European Uppercut for 2. Cesaro charges into the corner, and Kofi counters with a pendulum kick. Up top, Kofi goes for the pumping cross-body, but Cesaro catches him. He looks for snake eyes, but Kofi slides out and shoves Cesaro into the corner. Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise and gets the 3.

WINNER: Kofi Kingston. I am very disappointed with how WWE has been booking Cesaro lately.

Fandango and his anonymous broad make their way out. It absolutely kills me that fans have latched onto Fandango solely for his entrance music. Granted, the music is insanely catchy (I have it set as both my ringtone and morning alarm), but it’s still hilarious, especially when Fandango still is average-at-best in the ring and still has an awful gimmick. I am interested to see if WWE latches onto this or if they pay attention to it for a couple of weeks before deciding to ignore it, as is the norm. The fans are “Fandangoing” by chanting along with the entrance theme here in Boston similar to Monday, only not quite as loud. Still pretty audible, though. Looks like he’ll be looking on during the main event, which means his feud with Jericho likely isn’t over.

MATCH 6: World Champion Dolph Ziggler (w/Big E. Langston and AJ Lee) vs. Chris Jericho (non-title)
Lock-up to start, and Jericho quickly armdrags Ziggler. Another lock-up, and Jericho applies a side headlock this time. Jericho shoulders Ziggler off the ropes, and a crisscross ends when Jericho chops Ziggler in the chest. Suplex by Jericho, but Ziggler begins to fight back with shots to the gut in the corner and follows up with a jumping avalanche. Ziggler hits a few more shots on Jericho in the adjacent corner before sending Jericho into the opposite corner. Jericho blocks a charge and hits a missile dropkick for 2. Jericho chokes Ziggler over the middle rope. AJ trips him, and that allows Ziggler to hit a rocker dropper for 2. Commercials.

We’re back, and Ziggler mocks Jericho with a posing pin. Jericho begins to fight back with rights before getting caught with a neckbreaker for 2. Ziggler applies a rear chinlock, complete with a headstand. Ziggler lands on his feet, turning the hold into a modified inverted STF before rolling back into a rear chinlock. Jericho gets back to his feet, but Ziggler cuts him off with some punches. Jericho comes back with a running forearm and a couple of shoulder tackles before Ziggler sends him to the outside. Jericho lands on his feet on the apron and goes to the top, connecting with a double axe handle. Jericho goes for a bulldog, but Ziggler shoves him off and hits a leaping DDT for 2. Jericho ducks a clothesline and dropkicks Langston through the ropes before knocking Ziggler down and following up with a top rope cross-body for 2 as Fandango and Jericho lock eyes. Ziggler pops back up with a gorgeous dropkick for 2. Jericho blocks the Zig-Zag and tries to roll Ziggler into the Walls. Ziggler rolls through, but Jericho knocks him down and hits the Lionsault for 2. Fandango jumps on the apron, so Jericho hits him with a springboard dropkick. Ziggler comes from behind and hits another rocker dropper and gets the pin with a handful of tights.

WINNER: Dolph Ziggler. Jericho attacks Ziggler after the match. Langston comes in, so Jericho hits him with a step-up enziguri. He scares Fandango off the apron, and that allows Ziggler to hit the Zig Zag. Langston gets back up and hits the Big Ending. So much for “Sudden Impact” being the name of his finisher. Fandango gets back up and gets in the ring. He dances for a moment, then begins attacking Jericho. Fandango dances some more, then jumps to the top rope. More dancing, and the guillotine legdrop connects. His anonymous broad gets in the ring and Fandango announces his own name as she does the splits. The fans go from booing Fandango mercilessly to chanting along with his theme music in a matter of seconds.

End of show.

As always, feel free to follow me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/xdustineflx ,and if you like Married…With Children, you can follow my Al Bundy parody account at http://www.twitter.com/bundyisms. Also follow my personal blog at http://nerdslikeme.blogspot.com (feedback is welcome). Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out my mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:

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-Dustin

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WWE SmackDown Results April 5 and Recap

April 07, 2013 By: Category: WWE | Pro Wrestling

This week’s WWE Friday Night SmackDown opens with Ryback making his way out for a match. This will be a throw-away show, since everyone is at Axxess right now. I’m not going to recap those parts.

MATCH 1-2-on-1 Handicap Match: Ryback vs. Epico and Primo (w/Rosa Mendes)
Primo starts for his side with a punch and a side headlock. Ryback shoulders him off the ropes and catches a cross-body, turning it into a powerslam. Epico tags in, and he’s snapped into the ring. Ryback chops him in the corner before running into some boots. Epico charges in and gets gorilla press slammed for his troubles. Epico trips him into the ropes and tags in Primo, who hits a springboard seated dropkick before stomping Ryback down. Epico back in, and he stomps Ryback down in the corner before getting a 1-count. A rear chinlock is applied by Epico, but Ryback picks him up from this spot and hits a backpack stunner. Primo back in, and Ryback immediately knocks him down before hitting a back body drop. With an assist by Epico, Primo turns a spinebuster into a DDT. Epico tags back in, and Ryback spears both of them. Ryback goes for the double Shell Shocked, hits it and gets the 3.

WINNER: Ryback. At least the former tag champs got in a decent amount of offense, all things considering.

Up next, Tons of Funk are in action.

Tons make their way out, but it’s actually the Rhodes Scholars and the Bella Twins dressed as their WM29 opponents. Sandow says that, a wise man once said imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Silence! And while in some cases, this is true, the only reason he and his best friends have treated us to this spoof is to illustrate the lunacy and ridiculousness that is Tons of Funk. Rhodes says that, despite this parody, they are much better looking and better dancers than the belligerent behemoths. Back to Sandow, and he says that whether or not you can appreciate the finer points of satire remains to be seen. But, you all realize that Brodus Clay, Sweet T and those low-rent cheerleaders do not belong in the same ring as the Scholars. Rhodes says they are attractions for a petting zoo, not in this ring, and they should leave the entertainment to the professionals. Sandow says that, at WM29, they will outshine Tons and put an end to their dog-and-pony show for good. You’re welcome. Tons of Funk and the Funkadactyls make their way down to the ring now, and the girls hit the ring first. Now, we have an 8-person brawl the eventually ends with Clay hitting an avalanche on Rhodes, and T follows up with a clothesline to the floor. The Funkadactyls definitely pull off the cheerleader/tall socks look better than the Bellas. However, the Bellas are worse than nearly all of the divas in pretty much every way.

MATCH 2: Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Colter) vs. Kofi Kingston
Swagger backs Kofi into a corner, misses a punch, and Kofi tees off on him for a moment. Swagger goes for an armbar into a wringer, and Kofi flips out. Swagger blocks a deep armdrag and applies a top wristlock. Swagger armdrags Kofi down to the mat while holding onto the wristlock, and Kofi eventually armdrags out, and a crisscross ends in a jumping back elbow by Kofi. Swagger shoves him into the corner, where Kofi hits the Pendulum. Springboard clothesline connects for 2. Swagger rolls to the floor. Commercials.

Back from the break, Swagger has a double chicken wing applied on Kofi. Kofi tries to break free, so Swagger clubs him down with some forearms. Kofi fights back from his knees, but Swagger props him up in the corner for some kneelifts. Snapmare out of the corner by Swagger, and he goes back to the double chicken wing. Kofi fights out with headbutts and hits a back elbow out of the corner. He ducks a boot, hits a double chop, a back elbow and a dropkick. Swagger blocks a jumping clothesline, and Kofi reverses into a sunset flip. Swagger pulls him up by his neck, and Kofi counters with a monkey flip. Kofi goes for the SOS, but Swagger blocks it and throws Kofi hard into the corner. Kofi blocks the Swagger Bomb with a pair of boots and hits a springboard splash from the middle rope for 2. Swagger pops up with an elevated belly-to-belly suplex, then props Kofi on the top rope for a superplex. Kofi fights him off and headbutts him to the mat before connecting with a pumping cross-body. Swagger catches him, however, and goes for the Doctor Bomb. Kofi flips through, lands on his feet, ducks a clothesline and hits the SOS for 2. Colter tries to distract Kofi from the apron, and it’s enough to allow Swagger to hit a chopblock. He applies the Patriot Lock, and Kofi quickly taps.

WINNER: Jack Swagger.

End of show.

As I expected, not much to report on here.

As always, feel free to follow me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/xdustineflx ,and if you like Married…With Children, you can follow my Al Bundy parody account at http://www.twitter.com/bundyisms. Also follow my personal blog at http://nerdslikeme.blogspot.com (feedback is welcome). Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out my mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:

Gerri Davis Banner, NPC National Level Heavyweight and Masters Female Bodybuilder

-Dustin

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Flashback: Sheamus Is The WWE Royal Rumble 2012 Winner

January 25, 2013 By: Category: WWE | Pro Wrestling

The 2012 WWE Royal Rumble winner was probably not the guy you expected. Sheamus won the Royal Rumble and a trip to the WrestleMania 28 main-event against a WWE champion of his choice. Sheamus eliminated Chris Jericho to win the Rumble and earn his title match in Miami.

Sheamus was certainly one of the dark horses to win the Rumble. I had him at 50-1 odds in my predictions blog. It was a great way to elevate Sheamus back to the championship status he had a couple of years back. I have no problem with Sheamus winning, especially eliminating Jericho and Orton.

The Rumble itself was one of the most disappointing Rumble matches in recent memory. A combination of a lack of big time superstars and a dead crowd made for a boring Rumble. It just felt like a long RAW or SmackDown battle royal for awhile. It was nowhere near as exciting as last year’s Rumble.

The Miz entered the Royal Rumble at #1 as a result of losing to R-Truth on this past Monday’s RAW. The Miz’s former partner Alex Riley was number two. Riley was eliminated quickly by The Miz. R-Truth entered at #3. So wait a second? Truth and Miz wrestled on RAW for the 1 and 3 spot? I just assumed Truth got a late number for the win. Why bother?

Cody Rhodes entered at number 4. Miz and Rhodes teamed up on Truth for the 2-on-1. Justin Gabriel came out to even things up at number five. It wasn’t very exciting at this point to see these four starting off the Rumble. The WWE really has a serious issue with talent depth and it showed all throughout the match starting early.

Primo entered at number six. The Miz eliminated R-Truth at this point by simply throwing him over the top rope. Truth pulled Miz out from underneath the bottom rope and laid him out on the floor. Michael Cole made it a point to clarify that The Miz had not been eliminated as he didn’t go over the top rope.

Mick Foley entered at number 7, bringing the crowd back to life. The crowd loved him! Foley immediately eliminated Primo. Foley paired off with Rhodes for awhile. Ricardo Rodriguez entered at number 8, entering the arena in a 1983 Datsun! The fans were into Ricardo and greeted him with cheers. Ricardo entered the ring and went to town on Cody. Foley and Ricardo teamed up together to eliminate Gabriel.

Last year’s runner up Santino Marella entered at number 9. Santino gave Ricardo a wedgy (what about the anti-bullying campaign?) and eliminated him. Foley and Santino squared off with Cobra vs. Socko. Epico entered at number ten to break up the Socko vs. Cobra match. Epico was quickly thrown out of the ring and eliminated while The Miz recovered and returned to the match. Cody Rhodes eliminated Santino during the melee. Rhodes eliminated Foley as he held a mandible claw on The Miz.

Kofi Kingston entered at number eleven. Kingston wound up paired off with both Miz and Rhodes. Jerry Lawler entered at number twelve. This was pretty cool as Lawler’s music played and he left the announcer’s table and entered the match. The crowd loved it! Lawler dropped the fist on The Miz and then was quickly dumped over the top by Cody Rhodes.

Ezekiel Jackson entered at number thirteen. Remember when this guy was the flavor of the month last spring? Jinder Mahal came in at fourteen and I have to admit that by this point I was ready to rank this as one of the worst Rumbles in history. I also can’t remember a crowd this dead during a Rumble, not that I could blame them.

The Great Khali returned at number fifteen to pick up where his feud left off with Mahal. Yep, you remember that one don’t you? Khali immediately threw Mahal over the top rope and eliminated him. Jackson was next courtesy of a Khali clothesline.

Hunico entered at number sixteen and you would have thought that they were holding this Rumble in a closet by listening to the crowd. Booker T entered at number seventeen similar to Lawler. This was another pretty cool moment. Booker went right after Cody. The crowd came alive with “Booker T” chants.

The spot of the match was The Miz eliminated Kofi Kingston who wound up landing on his hands and hand walked over to the ring steps. Nowhere near as dynamic as John Morrison’s wall-walk last year but pretty cool nonetheless.

Dolph Ziggler entered at number eighteen. Lucky guy got to lose five times tonight. The second (first televised) Royal Rumble winner Hacksaw Jim Duggan returned and entered at number nineteen to a huge crowd pop. He didn’t last long as Cody Rhodes eliminated with a clothesline from behind pretty quickly.

Michael Cole entered at number twenty. Yep, three spots wasted on announcers. Kharma returned and entered at number twenty one. She eliminated Michael Cole. Well he actually eliminated himself by going over the top rope. Ziggler wound up taking her finisher. Oh man, this guy is in someone’s dog house. Kharma also eliminated Hunico. Ziggler came up from behind and dumped her over the top rope.

Sheamus entered at number twenty two. That guy needs new music. He eliminated Kofi Kingston pretty quickly by simply dumping him over the top rope. The Road Dogg returned and entered at number twenty three. It’s been a long time. Dogg did his usual punching and jiving spot. Jey Uso entered at number twenty four. Jack Swagger hit the ring at number twenty five.

Wade Barrett entered at number twenty six. He quickly threw Road Dogg over the top rope. David Otunga entered at number 27, which is the number that holds the most winners in Rumble history. The hometown hero Randy Orton entered at number 28, going right after Wade Barrett. Orton was a one man wrecking crew at that point. Orton eliminated Uso and then nailed Barrett with an RKO, followed by an exit over the top rope.

Chris Jericho entered at number twenty nine. Jericho immediately eliminated Otunga. The Big Show rounded it off entering at number 30. Unfortunately no real big surprises this year as you could see. It was pretty underwhelming at this point as compared to most Rumbles with a whole lot of midcarders and very little superstars.

Show came in and began eliminating guys right away. The final four came down to Show, Sheamus, Randy Orton, and Chris Jericho. All three decided to attack Show. Orton delivered a pretty nice looking RKO to Show. Orton dumped Show, who was then dumped by Jericho. It came down to Jericho and Sheamus.

The best action of the Rumble came during the final minutes between Sheamus and Jericho. They had a great back and forth with a lot of near eliminations. Sheamus nailed him with the Brogue Kick, Jericho fell to the floor, and Sheamus won the match and a championship match at WrestleMania 28.

It will be interesting to see how this plays out. The rumor appears to be that Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk will be wrestling for the WWE championship. Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan is interesting only because they just wrestled last year at WrestleMania in a dark match. I can’t ever recall two guys wrestling a dark match at WrestleMania and returning the next year in one of the main-events. My hunch tells me that it won’t be either of them, not that I would have any problem with watching Sheamus wrestle either guy in Miami.

Daniel Bryan retained the WWE world heavyweight championship in the opener against Mark Henry and The Big Show in a Steel Cage Match. It was fun but hardly what I’d call a great match. It wasn’t bad by any means, but a bit of a waste of Bryan’s great talent. Regardless, hats off to Bryan for making this one entertaining.

Bryan won the match by falling to the floor. Bryan spent most of the match trying to escape. He tried going over and The Big Show caught him at the top. Bryan climbed over but Show held on to his wrist for a few seconds. Show finally released his grip and Bryan fell to the floor, winning the match, and retaining the WWE world heavyweight title. I took this as almost a lock that Randy Orton was winning the Rumble and challenging Bryan at WrestleMania at that point.

As an aside, the announcing here was horrible. On the one hand, you have Bryan now working as a heel while at the same time you have heel Michael Cole continuing to bury Bryan on commentary. It was a mess but it isn’t as if it hasn’t been for well over a year now.

On another side note, Mark Henry didn’t do a whole lot in the match. Henry is working hurt right now and took a backseat for most of  the match to Show vs. Bryan. I was surprised not to see any kind of gimmicked cage for a big Henry vs. Show spot.

John Cena vs. Kane ended in a count out. Cena was booed out of the building which was ironic since they played a 3-4 minute video earlier doing their best to make sure that Cena was cheered. It’s just not working right now and it’s going to get ugly for him in Miami. Cena was dominated for most of the match which the announcers brought up at one point. One thing that did surprise me was that I expected more of an all-out brawl than the actual match, although it did break down into a brawl at the end.

Kane had Cena dominated on the floor and the referee just simply counted them out. Cena fought back and the two fought through the backstage area, almost like out of one of the WWE video games. Cena threw Kane into some trashcans. Kane responded with a few chair shots to the back and laid him out.

Kane then wound up going into Zack Ryder’s dressing room. Zack was there in a wheelchair. Kane attacked him and wheeled him out to the ring. Kane then dumped Ryder out of his wheelchair to the ringside area. Eve ran in to beg Kane off. Kane wound up tombstoning Ryder anyway. Cena finally returned to the ring just as Kane was about to attack Eve. Kane chokeslammed him and left.

This got pretty ridiculous as you could imagine towards the end there. I don’t mind the angle but the fact is that the WWE fans have seen Kane for over a decade and let’s be honest. Kane hasn’t always been this strong. So the idea of a guy they have seen relegated to ECW champion dominating Cena isn’t just very believable. I don’t get it but the WWE appear committed to seeing this angle play out for a few more weeks.

CM Punk defeated Dolph Ziggler (well four times) to retain the WWE championship with the GTS. I liked the match but they appeared a gear short from making this a great one.

John Laurinaitis came out and said in the interest of fairness that he would only officiate outside of the ring, so the match got a real WWE official. Laurinaitis sent Vickie Guerrero to the back. However, the referee wound up getting bumped in the middle of the match. Punk had Ziggler in the Anaconda Vice, Ziggler tapped, and Laurinaitis ignored the move. Laurinaitis then rolled the WWE official back into the ring who was unconscious. Punk then got in Laurinaitis’ face. Laurinaitis missed another cover. Punk got Ziggler up for the GTS but wound up kicking Laurinaitis with Ziggler’s feet. Again, no referee made the count. Laurinaitis and Punk then yelled back and forth. By this time the referee recovered.

Punk later covered Ziggler once again for the GTS and Laurinaitis slid back in and made the three count with the real official. The whole idea here is that Laurinaitis wanted to prove that he wasn’t biased.

I liked the finish but man was Ziggler buried here or what? Ziggler was pinned and submitted about four times during the match. Of course Laurinaitis didn’t make the counts, but it was a bit much for a guy that is really starting to develop some nice chemistry to start the year. Laurinaitis went to the locker room clapping for Punk as Punk celebrated in the ring. Of course this one will pick up again on RAW when Triple H gives Laurinaitis his evaluation.

2012 WWE Royal Rumble results:
Daniel Bryan defeated Mark Henry & The Big Show to retain the WWE world heavyweight title in a Steel Cage Match
The Bella Twins, Natalya, & Beth Phoenix defeated Eve, Kelly Kelly, Alicia Fox, & Tamina
John Cena vs. Kane ended in a double count out
Brodus Clay defeated Drew McIntyre
CM Punk defeated Dolph Ziggler to retain the WWE championship
Sheamus won the 2012 Royal Rumble
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WWE Royal Rumble 2012 Results: The End of the World

January 31, 2012 By: Category: WWE | Pro Wrestling

The 25th anniversary of the Royal Rumble just ended and we have all taken some time to digest what we have seen Sunday night. Chris Jericho stated at the RAW before the Rumble that the end of the world as we knew it would occur. Many fans were upset of what they thought was the lack of follow-up on that proclamation. I attempt to explain how the Royal Rumble DID follow-up and gave us an apocalyptic preview to WWE programming for the rest of the year (or according to the Mayans), the remaining time in human existence.

WWE Championship: Triple Threat Steel Cage Match
Daniel Bryan (c) vs. Big Show vs. Mark Henry

Buried:

Michael Cole’s heel commentary on a heel Daniel Bryan is an ongoing attempt to bury the World Heavyweight Champion. I agree with having a face and a heel commentator, but Cole should be building up D-Bryan as a legitimate champion, a fighting champion, and his repeated successful title defenses against both the Big Show and Mark Henry.

Purgatory:

Steel Cage Matches. Remember when it was a big deal to see a cage match on a PPV? The first Steel Cage match in Royal Rumble history was a bust to say the least. The match wasn’t horrible, but it was by no means great, or even good. No memorable spots, no intense drama, no unpredictability, and the fact that you could even win the match with a pinfall or submission, defeats the purpose of even have the steel cage at all.

In the Abyss:

The rest of the card if that was how you would start the 25th anniversary of arguably the second best PPV of the year and kickoff to the Road to WrestleMania.

Rising from the dead:

Big Show & Mark Henry: Daniel Bryan made these two who individuals, who combine for almost 1,000 lbs. of non-talent, look respectable in the ring.

8 Team Divas Tag Match:
Beth Phoenix, Natalya, Bella Twins vs. Kelly Kelly, Eve, Alicia Fox, Tamina

Buried:

Every WWE Diva not named Beth Phoenix. Drew McIntyre was wrong; this division is an embarrassment to this business!

Purgatory:

The fans who decided to sit and watch this match instead of going to the restroom and getting concessions.

In the Abyss:

The commentators who were so bored that they had to check how many followers they had on Twitter.

John Cena vs. Kane

Buried:

John Cena. Yes, I said John Cena! For someone who is facing the Rock at WrestleMania, Cena looked like every jobber that I saw on Super Stars in the 80’s. The match was long, boring, and put Cena in almost as a pathetic weak state as Zack Ryder. WWE gave us no reason to believe that Cena is even capable of putting on a remotely competitive match against the Great One. FAIL!

Purgatory:

Kane. How can you demolish John Cena AND Zack Ryder AGAIN, and not be included in the Royal Rumble match? Must be someone special taking his spot for the big red machine to end his Rumble appearance streak and chance of breaking HBK’s elimination record.

Drew McIntyre vs. Brodus Clay (The Funkasauraus)

Buried:

Drew McIntyre: He hasn’t been fired yet? He is following in former WWE star MVP’s footsteps in losing every match he is booked in.

Brodus Clay: I’m baffled to why he wasn’t in the Royal Rumble match. He has a crappy gimmick that the fans actually seem to like and you could have had some fun with the gimmick by adding Ernest the “Cat” Miller to the Rumble to have a dance-off before Brodus eliminates him. Instead you have another squash match in a PPV that we could have seen on RAW or SmackDown.

Purgatory:

Cameron Lynn & Naomi: This may be the highlight of your respective careers, dancing in some god awful outfits and not having worse dance moves than Brodus himself.

In the Abyss:

Tough Enough & NXT Contestants: How do you feel that these two beat you to the main roster? I know they suck, but what does that say about your ability and potential?

WWE Championship: Special Guest Referee John Lauranitis
CM Punk (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler

Buried:

Dolph Ziggler’s four victories over CM Punk were erased in less than 30 minutes by four pinfalls in the title match.

Purgatory:

WWE Universe was duped by a bait and switch. You advertise and tease a special guest referee who could affect the outcome of a title match and he doesn’t even officiate that match, nor affect it in any negative way.

30 Man Royal Rumble Match:

Buried:

Dolph Ziggler: Add another loss to his crappy night!

Cody Rhodes: Relegated to eliminating over the hill wrestlers AKA WWE Legends and looking forward to an equally un amusing feud with Gold Dust. Oh by the way he lasted more than 40 minutes and had the most eliminations, before being dumped out easily with Miz by the Big Show!

Miz: See Cody Rhodes minus having to face Gold Dust.

R-Truth: I beat Miz on RAW to avoid drawing #1 in the Royal Rumble so that I could draw freaking #3. Maybe Little Jimmy should’ve drawn his number for him.

Wade Barrett: The Barrett Barrage was non-existent and was owned by hometown hero Randy Orton. He did eliminate the heavy set “Road Dogg”.

Chris Jericho: Returning WWE mega stars usually win the Royal Rumble. HHH, Edge, and Cena all did, but not Y2J. 2 months of videos and hype for nothing.

Rising from the dead:

Kharma: She looked better than ever! I hope she and Beth Phoenix can save what’s left of the Divas division. I’m also interested to see if they will put her in the mid-card mix with her male counterparts.

Great Khali: He looked dominant disposing of Jindar Mahal and Ezekiel Jackson. I’ll admit that I was afraid this goof would eliminate my picks to win: Cody Rhodes and Dolph Ziggler.

Sheamus: A story that belongs in folklore: A former two time WWE Champion and King of the Ring winner who was recently feuding with jobber Jindar Mahal, eliminates the returning Chris Jericho to become the Royal Rumble winner.

Final thoughts:

1. Burying your mid-card talent and top draws so the 3 commentators can enter the Royal Rumble? It means the end of the world.

2. Putting in one-half of two different tag teams= burying an already non-existent tag team division.

3. Not putting your biggest draw in John Cena in the Royal Rumble= catastrophic mistake and huge turnoff to fans.

4. If you can feud with a jobber on Monday Night RAW and SmackDown and a month later become the Royal Rumble winner than it really is the end of the world.

5. If you have to build up a former two time WWE Champion and King of the Ring winner, as the next rising star or top babyface by winning the Royal Rumble, than it truly is the end of the world as we know it!

Roberto Padilla is host of “The Full Nelson Radio Show” Mile High Sports Radio 1510 AM/93.7 FM Denver; Sundays 2-4 PM ET, www.milehighsports.com Internet Sports Station GoMileHigh.com; Wednesdays 9-11 PM ET, www.gomilehigh.com/fullnelson Twitter: Roberto Padilla @HeelTruth

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WWE Divas Get Real Over Fake Article On WWE.com

September 06, 2011 By: Category: WWE | Pro Wrestling

The WWE Divas are upset! Following in the steps of former WWE Divas Melina and Gail Kim, several Divas have taken to Twitter to vent their frustrations over a website article. Ironically the article in question comes from WWE.com.

This is one of those stories that just gives and gives and gives. The WWE Divas are angry and they aren’t going to take it anymore! The Divas have gotten their panties in a bunch over an article on WWE.com that takes some shots at the current crop of ladies. The irony here is that the article is written in kayfabe storyline mode yet the girls are reacting as if their favorite frozen yoga instructor just got fired.

Katie Raymond of WWE.com has posted an article entitled, “Divas of Doom … or salvation?” The article is a little unclear to me but in the end appears designed to get the new team of Beth Phoenix and Natalya over. The article does take some shots at the girls, specifically saying that none of the Divas will ever be as good as Trish Stratus or Lita. The article also questions what the Fabulous Moolah would think of today’s Divas. All in all, pretty harmless stuff if you ask me. Not to the Bella Twins of course.

The Bella Twins channeled the Diva ghosts of Melina and Gail Kim and fired of a response to the article (which actually praises the Bellas) on Twitter.

“Wow, I just woke up to the craziness! The words spoken by Katie are laughable, but I’m a women who will stand for what I believe in…so… … I know what I’ve given to the fans and that’s all what matters. WWE might think your a bunch of puppets that are persuaded by their words.. … I know how you all feel good and bad, I love it! I mean if WWE cared about Divas why do we have such little time on tv? … Why were divas such as Mickey James, Melina and Gail Kim released. Why aren’t wrestlers like Sara Del Ray hired? All amazing!……. … Kelly Kelly and myself have worked to hard to have an unknown, untalented writer say the things she did. Katie (whoever) Suck it! Love Brie.”- @thebellatwins

Eve Torres chimed in with her two cents on Twitter.

“Don’t ever let anyone undermine your hard work, label your character, or set limits to your potential. #BeliEVE!” – @EveMarieTorres

Kelly Kelly who is for better or worse the face of the division and the current champion tweeted as well.

“#divas were just doing what we love, entertaining every week We’ve all worked very hard to get here just wish all this hate would go away” – @RealKellyKelly

I don’t think that is going to help.

You know you are in trouble when former WWE Diva Melina Perez is the voice of reason. Melina tweeted to the Bellas.

“@thebellatwins You know I love you but everyone needs to seriously calm down and think before tweeting. This is not worth it.”- @RealMelina

I guess we found the division in the WWE locker room who takes the articles written on WWE.com seriously. I am sure the veterans in the company are having a field day with this reaction. As a matter of a fact, one veteran in particular seems to be enjoying it.

“So wait. The divas are mad about an in house article on wwe.com that is potentially designed to garner them attention/TV time? Awesome.” – @CMPunk

The joke here is really on the WWE Divas. The Divas have made much more of a fake story than it should have been. I can see someone getting at upset over what was said on a blog by a hateful blogger, but getting crazy about an article written on the company website that was meant to get two of the divas over is a little over the top.

The WWE did play off on this on RAW and acknowledged the controversy during the Beth Phoenix vs. Eve Torres match. Natalya and Kelly Kelly argued a bit about on RAW, which made it seem even more silly.

If the Divas were looking for respect, they probably just set that cause back quite a bit with this latest controversy. It should also be pointed out that Stephanie McMahon recently took over WWE.com and is ultimately responsible for the content.

Whoops!

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WWE RAW July 18, 2011 Results – I Hope The RAW Rating Is A 10.0

July 18, 2011 By: Category: WWE | Pro Wrestling

John Cena and Vince McMahonWWE Raw, 7/18/11, Green Bay, WI

OPENING SEGMENT: VINCE MCMAHON IS NOT HAPPY
In a rather short opening segment, McMahon brought out Johnny Laryngitis, and the whole roster was backstage watching, thus giving it a special feel. In short, CM Punk is a turd, John Cena let everyone down, and there’s now a tournament to determine a new champion. Crowd doesn’t like that one. I like the idea, because you could create a new champ, and have Punk return to rub it in that he was never beaten. Of course, the internet crowd is going to view this as a screw-you to Punk, but oh well. I think it leads to Punk’s return as a superhero, in any event.
SEGMENT RATING: 6/10. Short and sufficient

ROUND ONE MATCH: THE MIZ VS. ALEX RILEY
Abbreviated from their previous encounters, especially with television time constraints, but still an effective match. Riley’s showing improvement, especially in the “WWE style”, thus making him the most effective NXT rookie outside of Wade Barrett and Daniel Bryan. I do love that Alex Riley worked the leg (that Miz injuried last night), and even showed off a Texas cloverleaf. Ending seemed to come out of nowhere, as awkwardness with the referee led to the Skull Crushing Finale to allow Miz to advance.
WINNER: The Miz via Skull Crushing Finale
RATING: 6/10. Short and sufficient, much like the opening segment. I can deal with “sufficient” as a recurring theme.

-John Morrison return video hyped. Let’s hope he’s nicer to legendary divas this time around.

ROUND ONE MATCH: R-TRUTH VS. JACK SWAGGER
Kind of an oddball match, as both men are heels. Swagger took control of most of the match, which isn’t exactly conducive to getting an electric reaction from the crowd. Then again, maybe the fans are still mad at Truth for getting Green Bay and Milwaukee confused once. Swagger works some submissions, and the fans couldn’t really be bothered. In the end, Truth counters Swagger’s ankle lock with a front cradle to advance, and that has a better chance of producing.
WINNER: R-Truth via front cradle
RATING: 4/10. Kind of dull, and I’m getting a bad feeling for the rest of the show, pacing wise.

ROUND ONE MATCH: ALBERTO DEL RIO VS. KOFI KINGSTON
Well, at least Ricardo Rodriguez is alive. The match was spirited, in spite of a dead crowd, and both men seemingly pulled out all the stops to try and wake everyone up. Unfortunately, the fans seem resigned to the fact that there are just 8 guys wrestling tonight, and they know what the matches are pretty much in advance. Del Rio bumped his ass off, including a missed vertical seated senton in the corner. In the end, Kofi reversed a sunset pin into a modified roll-up to advance. I’m gonna bet now that ADR cashes in later, but I’m not going out of my way to wager money.
WINNER: Kofi Kingston via modified roll-up
RATING: 6/10. Wish it was longer, but, again, sufficient. An 8 man tournament needs more than two hours, though.

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Summerslam rewind: British Bulldog vs. Bret Hart, 8/29/92. Maybe the greatest Summerslam match of all time, next to Bret/Owen, Shawn/Razor, and TLC from 2000.

ROUND ONE MATCH: REY MYSTERIO VS. DOLPH ZIGGLER
Finally, the crowd gets into this one, as the kids came alive with “619″ chants. Another short match, but they packed a lot of action into a few minutes, as Dolph and Rey have crazy chemistry (as seen 2 years ago at Summerslam). Ziggler busted out a nice alley oop powerbomb, as well as a reverse powerslam, demonstrating a crisp, in flux move set. In the end, the 619 and top rope dive finished, but it definitely woke the crowd up. Rey/Truth and Kofi/Miz both hold promise, so the show’s picking up steam at least.
WINNER: Rey Mysterio via 619/top rope dive
RATING: 7/10. Just because it was frenzied and creative, and woke the fans up.

DIVA SEVENS: KELLY KELLY/AJ/GAIL KIM/BETH PHOENIX/KAITLYN/EVE/NATALYA VS. BELLA TWINS/MELINA/MARYSE/ROSA MENDES/TAMINA/ALICIA FOX
It’s like George Carlin’s “Take Your Son to the Cathouse” Night. Beth pins Rosa with the Glam Slam in about 2 min, so we can hear Beth’s awesome Double Dragon/I’m Your Venus hybrid song.
WINNERS: The faces via Glam Slam
RATING: 2/10. Maryse, Bellas, Kaitlyn, and AJ make me happy

SEMI FINAL: KOFI KINGSTON VS. THE MIZ
Even Cole and Lawler’s energy seems off, and the crowd’s deflated from Rey and Ziggler’s herculean effort. Sure as I type that, Miz and Kofi rattle off some close nearfalls, and Kofi works Miz’s leg (from the ladder fall last night). After some more nearfalls, Kofi managed to avoid one Skull Crushing Finale, but ate a second one to give Miz the win. Those that say Miz doesn’t know how to work, watch him sell a leg injury far better than most of the indy rats you admire.
WINNER: The Miz via Skull Crushing Finale
RATING: 6/10. At least it was energetic. Feeling up on this show.

SEMI FINAL: R-TRUTH VS. REY MYSTERIO
Excellent match that really upped the tempo of the show. Started out formulaic, with Truth as the overpowering heel, but Rey did what he did best, and sprinkled in moments of hope with counters, reversals, and dazzling quickness. Truth is great in this role as the slick bad ass, and he and Rey proved to be great foils. Mysterio won in the end with the 619 and top rope dive, but kudos to Truth for making up for his lackluster performance at Capitol Punishment. In the right setting, where he can be athletic, the man can work.
WINNER: Rey Mysterio via 619/top rope dive
RATING: 8/10. Match of the night so far, undoubtedly.

FINAL: REY MYSTERIO VS. THE MIZ
But WAIT: Vince McMahon postpones the final match until next week (groan) and says “WWF Championship” in a senior moment. Cena comes up to plead his case, threatening to even go to TNA (yes, really), before HHH interrupts, complete with suit. Long story short, there a board meeting and Vince has been ousted for questionable decisions. Cena is not fired, HHH is now in charge, and Hunter tearfully dismisses his father-in-law from his duties. Hunter leaves in tears, and Vince gets a loud ovation as he fight backs tears as the show ends.
SEGMENT RATING: 10/10. Raw’s figured it out: end the show with hot angle continuation, and next week’s show is set up for you!

OVERALL: Like I said in the previous stanza, end the show with a hot angle, or a thread to an angle, and it will build next week’s show. I’m intrigued by Miz/Rey, as well as Hunter being in charge, and seeing where Punk fits in. Add to that Mysterio’s two good matches, and Raw’s an easy thumbs up this week.

Full WWE RAW July 18 results…
WWE Championship Tournament
Rey Mysterio defeated R-Truth
The Miz defeated Kofi Kingston
Rey Mysterio defeated Dolph Zigger
Kofi Kingston defeated Alberto Del Rio
R-Truth defeated Jack Swagger
The Miz defeated Alex Riley
Kelly Kelly, Eve, Beth Phoenix, Natalya, Gail Kim, Kaitlyn & AJ defeated against The Bella Twins, Melina, Rosa Mendes, Alicia Fox, Maryse & Tamina (non-tourny)

Justin Henry is a freelance writer whose work appears on many websites. He provides wrestling, NFL, and other sports/pop culture columns for CamelClutchBlog.com, as well as several wrestling columns a week for WrestlingNewsSource.com and WrestleCrap.com. Justin can be found here on Facebook – http://www.facebook.com/notoriousjrh and Twitter- http://www.twitter.com/cynicjrh.

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